//------------------------------//
// Interlude: Praetor Bebop at His Computer 
// Story: My Little Praetor: Phthisis is Magic 
// by FanOfMostEverything 
//------------------------------//

The following chapter is rated SI for Self-Indulgent. Reading this blog post first is highly recommended. While this interlude takes place in the hypothetical setting of the story, Ditzy does not see it in the real world/framing device. In short, this bit's canonical uncertainty is of nearly Heisenbergian levels.

The Progress Engine. The Phyrexian faction empowered by blue mana. Inhabiting the Quicksilver Sea, their domain was the one place on the compleated plane where R&D stood for something other than "rending and dismemberment." Granted, there was a lot of that as well, but it was done in the pursuit of knowledge. Most of the time.

Invaluable in this pursuit were the skites, the living tools of the Engine. Flaskskites conveyed reagents like bloated, domesticated mosquitoes. Syringeskites plunged themselves into experimental subjects with obscene eagerness. Clampskites pinched with all the enthusiasm of a St. Patrick's Day reveler.

Strangest of all was the tumblrskite. Crafted in the hopes of infecting the strange interstitial dimension known as the Internet, neither a true plane nor a part of the Blind Eternities, the tumblrskite resembled nothing more than an enormous scarab trying to do a sit-up. Abdominal scales served as a keyboard. Polished thoracic chitin served as a monitor. A panoply of antennae pierced the Æther, providing an invisible connection to the strange realm the quasiliving device had been made to invade.

However, like any good tool, the tumblrskite had more than one use. With it, Jin-Gitaxias had discovered Equestria. With it, he had scoured the Internet for information on the peaceful plane. And with it now, he was attempting to contact the one being he grudgingly acknowledged as an equal.

In addition to connecting to the Internet, the tumblrskite had also been designed to channel a denizen of that peculiar place to facilitate communication with its ilk. The entity had never told Gitaxias its true name, if it even had one. It had simply referred to itself as "Jinmod." It had been a frustrating and mercurial entity, alternately chiding and encouraging, flippant and serious. And then one day, it simply hadn't been there at all.

That had been months ago. The tumblrskite had gone completely unresponsive. There was no magical or biological issue; the creature just went from sophisticated work of artifice to nonfunctional assembly of spare parts. The fault lay with Jinmod, who without warning had stopped responding to summons.

Of course, this didn't stop Gitaxias. He simply imbued the tumblrskite with a lesser animating intelligence. The device's functionality was restored, albeit in a reduced capacity. The Augur could no longer perpetuate his efforts to spread phyresis through the Internet, but he could continue to use its vast stores of knowledge to prepare invasions.

And then, once again, things changed.

((What do you think you're doing?))

Gitaxias paused for a moment. The text had appeared on its own, flanked by parentheses. It was Jinmod's signature, indeed, sole means of communication. He rapidly composed a reply.

Continuing the Great Work, of course.

((I can see that. Why are you doing it with my Equestria?))

Another pause. What could the inscrutable being mean?

I was unaware that you had laid a claim.

((It's rather more complicated than that.))

I'm listening.

((That'd be a first. In any case, I noticed the intrusion and I felt I should warn you. You deserve that much.))

Had Gitaxias had a brow, it would've furrowed at this point.

Warn me? Of what?

((It won't end well. This isn't the Equestria you've been examining online. There are some key differences that you couldn't possibly anticipate.))

Such as?

((For one, Pinkie Pie is currently wreaking havoc in the Mephidross.))

...What.

((Yeah. good luck with that. It was fun, Jin. I won't be seeing you again.))

The dialogue window closed. For a moment, Gitaxias felt very, very afraid.

FOME sighed and shook his head. Technically, this was all his fault. He just couldn't leave well enough alone, and now here he was, bringing together two of his creative works that never should've met. Ah well, at least it was proving interesting.

"A valid reason for doing anything, really," opined Discord.

"Your approval fills me with shame."

"As it should. Now get back to writing my glorious return to power."

The author smirked. "You really think that's what's going to happen?"

Discord shrugged. "Originally, you weren't even going to include the Elements of Discord in this story. I'd say I'm ahead of the game as it is. Why not hope for the best?"

FOME gave a noncommittal hum. "In any case, I should probably back off. Don't want any time pimps busting in and gunning me down for excessive authorial bull-honkery. Just need to put up the cards."

Discord's Advice 2RR
Sorcery
Target player discards all the cards in his or her hand, then draws that many cards.
Chaotic R (You may cast this card for its chaotic cost. If you do, choose its targets at random.)
"When in doubt, go insane. Everything will make much more sense."
—Discord

Skitecrafter 4(up)
Artifact Creature — Artificer
(up) can be paid with U or 2 life.)
2(up): Target noncreature artifact becomes a creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost in addition to its other types until end of turn. If that artifact is an Equipment, change its text by replacing all instances of "equipped" with "this" until end of turn.
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