Edited by TuxOKC.
Six months later...
In the Crystal Empire, life had settled back to what Princess Mi Amore Cadenza would consider normal. Her husband was having daddy time with their daughter, allowing Cadence to catch up on some paperwork. Oh, she could have delegated, passed the work off to her more than capable staff, but some things needed her personal touch. Humming in content, she was going over a proposal for a school in her name for underprivileged foals when there was a polite knock at her door.
“The door is open,” she said, setting her work aside.
Her seneschal poked his head in. He was a middle aged stallion who had once been one of her tutors when she was learning to be a princess years ago. “I pray I am not interrupting anything important, Your Majesty?”
“Of course not!” Cadence smiled and beckoned the pony in. “Do come in, Ulfric. What brings you to see me?”
He came into the room, his ears flat out as he had an apologetic expression. “A message arrived for you from Princess Twilight Sparkle.” He produced a scroll from the folds of his jacket with his teeth and held it out to Cadence. She smiled at the name of her favorite sister-in-law as her horn lit up and she took up the letter.
“Thank you, Ulfric. Was there anything else?” she asked him as she broke the seal.
“No milady.”
“That will be all, thank you.”
“Yes, milady.” Ulfric bowed and left the room in reverent silence.
Humming to herself, the princess unfurled the scroll. She had not heard from Twilight in a while and it was a pleasant surprise to hear from her. Her smile faded as she read what turned out to be a very short letter.
Dear Princess Heart Ass,
Celestia wanted to turn Chrysalis into stone. Luna wanted to send Chrysalis to Tartarus. You wanted to get her hitched.
Why didn’t I get a chance to choose a punishment?
Butthurt in Ponyville,
Twilight
The princess frowned. Twilight did not get a say at all, she recalled. “I knew I forgot something,” she lamented as she rolled up the letter. Tapping it against her chin, Cadence wondered what she could do to make it up to her. Perhaps she could send an inquiry to Luna and ask where she could get another book like what the Night Princess had given her. Twilight seemed very into that Stephen Hawking fellow.
“She needs to get laid,” she muttered under her breath.
It had been an honest oversight. Cadence had been so keen on getting one up on Chrysalis, she had forgotten to include Twilight in the details of her plan. Everything else had gone off far better than she had hoped. Taking advantage of the boredom of her aunts had paid off dividends. They were their proper and loving selves throughout the whole process, from beginning to end. Chrysalis was watched the whole time to prevent any designs for escape. The threat was dealt with once and for all. Equestria was safe.
Discord had added his own touch with his disregard to such trivial things like petty morals and silly ethics. Love did not care for such things. Love could be far more cruel than the machinations of a megalomaniac like Queen Chrysalis.
Love could be a monster in its own right. It had its own chaotic flare to it. Cadence had never minded Discord and his antics. He had a purpose and Cadence used his nature to help keep her aunts off kilter. It had affected her as well, but what was done was done. She felt avenged for the humiliation of her wedding. She had stood up for the honor of her beloved Shining Armor. Nopony messes with the Princess of Love!
Love, after all, could be a cold bitch.
Setting aside what she should do to make Twilight feel better, Cadence lit up her horn. A secret panel behind a nearby painting slid open. A laptop floated from it and set itself at her desk before her. She opened it, mindful of the time. There was perhaps thirty more minutes to relax and browse for updates on FimFiction. There had been a little bit of a commotion a few months ago, but the site’s regulars had more or less settled back into their routines. Everypony was excited about the upcoming season and questions over the disappearance of Starlight Glimmer made more mentions than Harambre.
If only they knew Hasbro was the property of Princess Celestia. Twilight’s suggestion that her former apprentice be there to make sure Chrysalis stayed on the path of staying out of trouble was a poor attempt at getting the reformed unicorn out of her mane. Starlight was still headstrong and was experiencing issues when it came to building trust from others. Putting the mare in an environment which needed her to learn to trust others might have been over the top, but Cadence went along with it for the extra set of eyes on Chrysalis. As for the husband Cadence had foisted upon the fallen changeling, well…
He was single. He was available. He was there.
Perhaps she went a bit overboard on the story. She had re-read the silly thing and found it was a crude story, but the comments from the author had the princess feeling more and more ashamed of her actions.
He had been a big fan.
He had thought she was the most down-to-earth of the princesses.
He was supportive of her being the only alicorn to have a foal.
The final comment he had made all those months ago was ‘Cadence is the girl next door every guy wishes he could meet and at at least have as a friend’.
She could have gone back to the human world at any time to correct her mistake. Love was powerful in magical form. But, the reformation of Chrysalis was at the top of the list of things that needed to be done. If Thorax came again to ask when his mother was going to be coming home, Cadence was certain she was going to beat him to death with a fly swatter.
Bug zappers had started to show up in the budget proposals.
The princess sighed, not at all happy with herself at the moment. Lovebutt was not feeling lovable at the moment. Perhaps a story… perhaps something lighthearted and uplifting was in order. Yes! That was what this moment called for. A short story, a comedy. Perhaps a romance?
Cadence went online and pulled up FimFiction. She checked for messages, found a few from aspiring writers. There was one from an online friend who had a question about foal habits. There was another message from another friend who inquired if she was able to edit a chapter or two in the near future. Cadence loved editing when she could spare the time.
If you’re wondering how a pony princess in another world had access to an internet provider from Earth, the answer is Germany.
The answer is always Germany. Those people are scary smart, yo.
Well, that and Twilight’s recent forays into Earth resulted in a lot of experimentation involving ‘acquired’ technology and magic. And no, they did not form a being called Captain Robomage no matter how much Spike the Dragon wanted it to happen.
That being said, Cadence noticed a particular title in the feature box. It was a silly title, but it was one that caught her immediate attention.
“What?” she said with supreme intelligence to an inanimate object, because talking to inanimate objects works sometimes in Magic Pony Land. She read the short description, her eyes widening more and more. Horror crept into her mind. She felt as though mice with paws of ice were running up and down her spine. Against her will, she found herself clicking on the title.
‘Bug Pony Horse Waifu’ opened up with three chapters.
“No,” she moaned. How could this be? The princess clattered to her hooves, kicking back her chair, staring at the screen. A foalish version of Chrysalis stared at her with an unhappy expression. Her changeling form was nothing more than a colored oval with sticks for legs. Another time, Cadence might have remarked at how alike the real thing the crude drawing was. She read the first chapter. Then the second. Then the third. It was a very condensed, very abridged, and complete false accounting.
“You...you…” A shaking hoof jabbed at the author’s notes at the end of chapter three. It changed before her eyes, a magic spell intended to be activated when a certain pair of eyes fell upon it. Words formed. The horror was doubled when she understood her mistake, her folly. She had handed Chrysalis a planet teeming with warlike apes. Apes who enjoyed beating the holy crap out of each other for stupid things, like skin color, religion, and favorite football teams.
Cadence closed her eyes. She probably deserved this. She had taken things too far.
Chrysalis owned Earth.
‘Nice planet. Best Wedding Gift Ever! GG lol’
Cadence tried and failed with her breathing exercises. Unable to contain her frustration at her supreme failure, she flipped her fifteen hundred pound desk and everything on it. Throwing back her head, she roared in the Royal Voice, “Chrysalis!”
None of the events had happened that way! None! There had been a very public trial. Chrysalis had to be restrained because she was a physical, magical, and verbal danger to the public. The only truth in chapter one was the building. Once the description of the Sanctuary of Justice had been given, the story went downhill from there.
None of the alicorns even came close to acting as outlandish and irresponsible as this. This fiction...this farce was against everything Princess Celestia had ever taught! Cadence could feel her face flushing. When had that happened?
The door burst open and Shining Armor burst in, ready for a throwdown. There were several guards behind him. “Cady! Is Chrysalis here? What happened to your desk?”
“Her...husband!” she panted in offended rage. “That...that...shameless writer!”
“Huh?” Shining tilted his head to one side in confusion.
Cadence pointed at her laptop. It was alicorn proof. Shining picked it up and looked it over, having never seen it before. “Is this where our entertainment budget went?” he asked, blinking and staring at the screen. He found the foalish art cover for Chrysalis amusing. “We gave up on funds to take Flurry to museums and zoos for this?”
“You don’t understand!” Cadence yelped, ignoring the fact there was a good chance her daughter had been deprived of seeing baby monkeys because of that stupid laptop. Her own musings made her groan. Rubbing her temple with a hoof, she snarled, “That writer did it again! He made a fool of me! He made a fool of my aunts!”
He did get Twilight down to a T.
“I don’t get it,” Shining told her with a shake of his head. “I’m worried, Cady. I think that site is not doing you any good.” He was perusing the first chapter. “It’s not that bad, I think.”
“My aunts are going to be furious if they see that!”
“We are so out of character in this story! Hey, you’re even slapping him on the ass!” Celestia howled with laughter as she clung to her sister. Luna was in humorous tears.
“I know!” Luna wheezed, wiping tears from her face. “Chrysalis is so lucky to have a husband with a twisted sense of humor she can appreciate! Cadence chose well!”
“I’m so dead,” Cadence moaned. “It’s his fault! That writer! That human!” The last word came out as an evil hiss.
“Writer’s name is Scarheart. What a strange choice of a pen name.” Shining was still not happy the family budget went into this contraption. He blinked and looked at the author’s notes at the end of the third chapter. “I think this is a joke. Didn’t you say there were about eight billion of these monkeys on that planet?” Strands of mane sprang out of place. “I don’t think we’ve got anything to worry about. You made a good choice, honey. It’s not like they can come here, is it?” He tried to give her his most convincing smile. The sound of grinding teeth reached his wife’s ears.
Cadence giggled at her husband. An eyebrow twitched. “Heh,” was all she could manage. “Heh, heh, heh!”
He put his hooves on her shoulders and pulled her around to face him. Concern was etched upon his features. “Honey? They. Can’t. Come. Here. Right?”