Chapter 10 The Master of Laughter.
Zek awoke and immediately noticed the blanket covering his body.
"Alert. Alert I am under attack!"
"Your not under attack Mr. Zek you are just covered by a blanket." Said Fluttershy who was shivering a little from having no blanket all night. " Let me get it off you Mr. Zek." Fluttershy took off the blanket.
While Fluttershy was removing the blanket he thought over his options. He could either go a after this ‘Pinkie Pie’ the Element of Laughter and exterminate her, or ask Fluttershy to take him to the Element of Honesty. He already decided not to exterminate Fluttershy. She is a slow guide, but useful because she was gullible.
"Bring me to this Pinkie Pie" decided Zek.
Fluttershy and Zek arrived at Pinkie Pie's house. The lights were off. This was perfect. Zek could go into the house and surprise her while she sleeping. Fluttershy opened the door. Zek moved in slowly and trying carefully not to make any noise. It was very dark.
"SURPRISE!" Yelled Pinkie Pie. Streamers and confetti fell from the ceiling. Cheering and yelling came from five different ponies. Fluttershy lost her balance and fell down clutching at her heart.
Sorry about there not being many ponies being here. Pinkie explained. "Twilight said that you being here had to be kept a secret.”
"What is happening?" Said the surprised Dalek. "YOU WILL EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!"
“This is your ‘welcome to ponyville party’ silly octopus guy,” said the pink pony.
“She throws everyone I who is new to ponyville a party. Even if they don’t want one." Explained Twilight. The entire main six was there including Applejack. ‘Here Comes the Drums’ by Voodoo Child was playing in the background of the party.
“So you’re the alien I knocked out. Rarity fixed up your dents pretty well. She said you helped he make some dresses. That seems awfully nice of you. Name’s Applejack by the way”
This party made no sense how could they possibly know that he would be coming to this house.
“Who is the pink pony?” Zek asked Applejack
“Oh, I’m Pinkie Pie, party thrower extraordinaire,” said Pinkie Pie getting a little to close to the Dalek as she said this. This was enough to confirm her identity. Zek tried to grab her with his manipulator arm.
“Oh, look a Bit,” She bent down to pick something up. Zek’s arm went over her head.
“Oh never mind it was a piece of gum.” Zek recoiled and again out lashed out with his arm.”
“Oh wait, I think that’s it.” She ducked again and Zek over swung again.
“Nope just another piece of gum.” Said Pinkie Pie “Oh I almost forgot to get the cupcakes out of the closet. She ran into the closet. Zek followed her and waited outside. This was perfect. There was only one exit when she came out he would get her. He waited outside the door.
Pinkie Pie came out of another door.
“Who wants cupcakes?” Said Pinkie Pie.
“I do I do!” yelled the other six ponies besides Fluttershy who said it softly
How did she do that? Was that a temporal shift? Between the dodging and the teleporting Zek was starting to realize that normal tactics would not be effective on this pony. He would have to be creative. He moved across the room to speak with Fluttershy who was eating her cupcake quietly in the corner.
***
“Hello Fluttershy,” said Zek. Fluttershy almost jumped out of her skin. Zek had come up to her. Could he be into her?
“Is there something I can help with you Zek?” she said nervously.
“Yes, I wish to play a… prank on Pinkie Pie.” Said Zek. Fluttershy didn’t like this idea.
“You want to play a prank?”
“Yes, take this.” He handed Fluttershy a pill. “And put it her drink. It will be… amusing.” Fluttershy looked at the pill it. Read cyanide. Fluttershy had never heard of it before.
“I’m not sure I get the joke.” Said Fluttershy
“Trust me it will be funny.” Said Zek
“Well ok if you say so.” Said Fluttershy still unconvinced.
Fluttershy worked her way over to the punch bowl. She placed tablet into a cup and then poured the punch into the cup. The tablet dissolved with a hiss.
“Hi Fluttershy! Whatcha doing?” Asked Pinkie, making Fluttershy jump.
“I was… uh… um… uh… pouring you a drink?” stammered Fluttershy.
“OH! For me? You shouldn’t have!” Pinkie Pie took the glass from Fluttershy’s hooves and chugged it.
“Mmm, delicious. Thanks Fluttershy!” Said Pinkie Pie.
***
Zek saw Pinkie Pie drink the poison. It was only a matter of time until she starts to feel the effects.
“Hey guys it’s time for presents.” Said Pinkie Pie.
“Wait, I didn’t know we were supposed to bring presents.” Said Rainbow Dash.
“Neither did I” said Apple Jack.
“Well It’s a good thing I came prepared,” Said Twilight. “Here’s the book about the Elements of Harmony. Hopefully it’ll help you with your research on the Elements.”
“Oh and I brought something as well,” said Rarity. She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a violet bow tie. “I want to thank you for helping me with my new outfits. So I made you this bow tie. Do you like it?”
Daleks aren’t known to wear cloths, but they are allowed to if they like, with some exceptions. Daleks are not allowed to were the following: leather jackets, trench coats, tweed jackets, bow ties, neck ties, scarfs, and sticks of celery. He was prohibited, by law, from wearing a bowtie. However Zek had always been envious of the Doctor’s ties. And no one will ever know. He would wear it.
Rarity placed the tie on Zek.
“Oh it looks adorab- I mean intimidating. Yes it looks quite intimating.” Said Rarity. She pulled out a mirror. Zek liked it.
Zek didn’t know what to say. He had never got presents before.
“I don’t know what to say.” said Zek stating what he was thinking.
“How about thank you?” Said Rarity.
“Thank. You.” Said Zek the words felt funny coming out of his speakers. He was not even sure a Dalek had ever said them before.
“I’ll go get my gift.” Said Pinkie Pie bouncing happily. Suddenly she stopped. “Something’s wrong. I don’t feel well.” Her body began to have convolutions.
“What’s wrong Pinkie? Is it another doozy?” Asked Twilight concerned.
“Poison.” Whispered Pinkie.
“What? Poison! Pinkie we got to get you to a doctor.” Said Applejack. Zek knew it was no good. Even if they could get her to a doctor there was no cure for cyanide.
“It looks like cyanide poisoning.” Said Twilight.
“No I have too…” Pinkie said. She runs to the kitchen everyone else follows her Pinkie Pie staggers to rarity and she grabs her.
“Ginger cider!” Says Pinkie
“I beg your pardon?” Says Rarity
”I need ginger cider!” Pinkie says again she struggles to a kitchen shelf, sweeping off stuff while she searches for ginger cider.
“She’s gone mad!” Yelled Applejack Pinkie Pie finds the bottle and drinks of it, and then pours the rest on his head.
”I'm an expert in poisons, Pinkie.” Says Twilight. “There's no cure! It's fatal!” Pinkie Pie spits out the rest of the drink.
“That’s what you think! Protein! I need protein!” Shouts Pinkie Pie. She leans on the worktop, panting in agony, while Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack search the kitchen supplies.
“Walnuts?” asks Applejack
“Yes!” Shouts Pinkie. She hands her a jar of walnuts and she gobbles it down. Mouth full, he can only gesture to Rainbow Dash, shaking her hand up and down.
“I can't understand you! How many words?” Says Rainbow Dash
Pinkie Pie holds up one hoof.
“One! One word!” Says Rainbow Dash. Pinkie keeps shaking his hand while Rainbow Dash guessing what he means.
”Shake, milk shake, milk? Milk? No, not milk? Hm, shake shake shake... Cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wingbanger?” Pinkie finally manages to swallow the walnuts.
“Harvey Wingbanger?” Asks Pinkie Pie
“Well, I don't know!” Says Rainbow Dash.
“How is Harvey Wingbanger one word?” Mocks Pinkie.
“What do you need, Pinkie?” Asks Rarity
”Salt, I was miming salt! Salt! I need something salty!
”What about this?” says Rarity. She shows her a brown bag.
”What is it?” Asks Pinkie Pie.
“Salt!” Rainbow.
“That's too salty!” Says Pinkie.
“Oh, that's too salty!” Applejack hands Pinkie Pie a jar.
“What about this?” asks Applejack.
She opens the jar and gobbles the contents.
“What's that?” Asks Rainbow Dash.
”Hay fries!” Says Applejack Pinkie Pie gestures again.
“What is it? What else? It's a song? Mammy? Um, I don't know, Canterlot Races?” Guessed Dash.
“Canterlot Races?” Questions Pinkie.
“All right then, sonic rainboom!”
“It's a shock! Look! Shock! I need a shock!”
Everypony looks at each other trying to think of something that would shock Pinkie Pie. Lot of blank faces
“Um… I think I know something will shock her said Fluttershy.” She grabs Pinkie Pie and whispers into her ear. She lets her go, and the Pinkies shoots out a cloud of grey smoke from her ears. Pinkie Pie starts laughing hysterically.
“Oh Fluttershy that’s so funny!” Pinkie Pie is unable to control her laughter.” It was as if she never had been poisoned.
This was impossible thought Zek.
Pinkie Pie, you are impossible! Who are you? Only Time Lords can detox!
“What was I doing again? Oh yeah getting a present.” She hops into a room like she hadn’t just been dying. “Zek are you coming?” ask Pinkie Pie. Zek had no choice, but to follow.
“She was probably faking being poisoned,” Said Twilight to the rest of her friends. Just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. Besides there’s is no real cure for cyanide poisoning.”
Zek was in a room full of piles and piles of junk. Pinkie Pie was looking through the piles for something. She was throwing a lot of stuff around the room while she looked. Well exterminating her had not worked. If anything it had made everything whole lot more confusing. Was she a Time Lord or something? There was only one option left. Just ask her and hope she answers.
“Are you a Time Lord?” Asked Zek.
“Am I a time what?” Asked Pinkie Pie.
“Never mind if you don’t know your not one,” said Zek. “But how did you know what my true appearance was?” Asked Zek.
“Oh, was I right? I was just lucky, I guess. Sometimes I guess stuff, really, really well.” Pinkie Pie was still throwing things from the pile occasionally." Could that be it? Just dumb luck? Could that explain her dodging her attacks as well?
“What about when your cured yourself of the poison?”
“That’s an old Gypsy remedy,” Said Pinkie Pie.
She threw a small metallic object that hit Zek in the head. Zek looked down at it and felt his Dalek blood freeze. It was a hobs watch.
“Pinkie, where did you get this?” asked Zek
“Oh, that old thing? My parents found it with me when they adopted me. Nothing special though it’s just a watch.” Zek looked deeply into Pinkie’s eyes. Old eyes. Too old to be a pony’s eyes.
The Fobs watch. Just like the one that the Doctor had been holding before he regenerated. The watch was used to transform a Time Lord into another creature with out the memories of the Time Lord and install new memories. Could she be? No she couldn’t be the Doctor. She doesn’t act like him. She still might be a Time Lord though. The question is which one? Best leave it alone for now. No reason to wake a sleeping giant.
Pinkie Pie stopped shoveling through the pile for the second. Her ears perked up.
“Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
She listened hard for a second like listening to something in the distance.
“I thought I heard drum beats.”
“I heard nothing.” Said Zek.
Pinkie looked concerned for a moment before returning to her normal happy self.
“I doesn’t matter anyway. Here you go. I believe you were looking for this.” She handed Zek a bag of crushed up… something.
“What is this?” asked Zek confused.
“That used to be the Element of Laughter. You made me laugh today so you earned it. See? I already crushed it for you.”
She winked at Zek. She laughed and with a hop, skip and a jump, she hopped out of the room giggling. Leaving Zek very very confused.
(transcript from The Unicorn and The Wasp comes from http://drwhotranscripts.blogspot.com/2008/05/4x07-unicorn-and-wasp.html Some lines are taken directly from this episode of Doctor Who for the sake of comedy this is for entertainment only and not profit.)