The next stage of Moondancer's education was to teach her how to use the computer systems of the spacecraft. The first stage of this involved ensuring she could read the entire written Geeg language...which was actually a sequence of symbols connected to specific thought-forms, rather than an actual language of its own. Each symbol carried a PSI impression, and one whose PSI was strong enough would perceive the impression and thus see the thought-form translation rather than the symbol itself. This made decoding it next to impossible for those who lacked a PSI impression, and the act of decoding it a PSI exercise in and of itself for young Geeg. Of course, this meant ensuring that Moondancer understood the concepts behind each of the thought-forms of the computer language so she could properly interpret everything she could learn from the computers, and use them properly.
Though he felt he really shouldn't be at this point, Giegue found himself surprised at how rapidly Moondancer absorbed everything and began accessing the computer. At first, he simply watched proudly as she raced through all the data files, absorbing everything presented to her of the Geeg perspective on the life forms of the galaxy and this solar system in particular. However, he found himself forced to turn away slightly when he saw she spent a great deal of time accessing those files that Cerue had compiled before she had abandoned/fled from him. That reminder was painful for the divisions it caused in his mind.
His head jerked back as he felt systems stirring in the ship, and saw Moondancer had managed to access the control programs. "Moondancer, you shouldn't be tampering with those!" he insisted quickly as he moved to another console, rapidly inputting commands to override whatever Moondancer was attempting to do.
"But I was just trying to understand your project!" Moondancer insisted, her PSI presence now strong enough to shape her thought-forms audibly, stepping over any need for translations as any who received it would hear it in their native tongue. "You said I could help once I understood it."
"The Nightmare Engine is an offshoot that should remain offline for now!" Giegue insisted as he finally shut the engine down once more, before crafting security protocols to keep Moondancer from accidentally activating it again. "It does not yet work as it is supposed to, and it could have negative effects on your psyche if activated at this point."
"Why would it do that?" Moondancer asked insistently. "Why is a part of your project designed to influence the psyche?"
Giegue remained silent. He knew now that she was ready to hear about his project...but he found himself hesitant to actually tell her. He did not understand why. She had promised to help him with the project, and he had said he would tell her when he felt she was ready. So...why was he now unwilling to tell her when she was plainly ready?
I don't want her to hate me like Cerue did...
He flinched back from the thought. Was...was he really considering going back on his word...because he cared too much about what she thought of him? Was he capable of deliberate deception in that way? Could...could he lie?
And if he could lie...was that a result of deceptive human contamination? Or could all Geeg lie?
"...not today," he stated finally. "Today is computers. The project...will be for another time."
Moondancer looked at him somewhat dismayed, but she turned back to her console and began exploring other systems.
The next few cycles continued in that vein. Moondancer would explore the ship's systems via her console. She would stumble across a system she shouldn't have been messing with. Giegue would race to undo whatever damage she'd unwittingly done, and craft security to prevent her from accidentally getting into those systems again. On occasion, she would deliberately attempt to circumvent his security, and he would race to patch the holes she had utilized. After the first few such times, Giegue discovered that matching his wits against hers in that way was actually enjoyable, and created an exercise on the computer specifically to allow them to do that without involving any delicate systems. Moondancer expressed great joy when they did that, proclaiming that it was such fun for them to play together.
Fun...play...
Even as he observed her growth, the conflict in Giegue's mind continued to spiral as new realizations piled atop old certainties, mutating thoughts and conclusions until he was no longer sure what had happened and when. Finally, he had done the only thing he could do. He had placed the new thoughts within the clouds of emotion that tore at his mind, and let them come to conclusions based on their perspective. He then attempted to look at those conclusions from a pure logical perspective.
I am capable of lying. Assumption: This is a result of human corruption. I am no longer a true Geeg, which is why I am alone here. I am an abomination which should not exist...and all that is left for me is to perfect my project, and shape humanity and the other creatures of Earth to serve the Geeg, as they are supposed to...as the Starmen do, and as all lesser creatures will. Through true understanding of lesser forms of life, Geeg prove themselves superior and thus worthy of claiming dominance.
I am capable of lying. Assumption: This is something all Geeg are capable of once they learn how. Both humans and Geeg are capable of deception. I knew my parents well, having spent a great deal of time with them. I did not know the Geeg who took me (took back) when Mother vanished and Father left. They gave me a version of events that made sense, and made me want to 'fix' humanity to make them better to serve the Geeg. The Geeg want to rule humanity. If I chose humanity over the Geeg, they could not do that: I know my PSI output dwarfs that of the average Geeg for some reason. The Geeg told me a lie to turn me against my parents, to serve them. My parents did love me.
He stared at the two conclusions in his mind. The entirety of both arguments hung on the two assumptions, and he saw no way to determine which assumption held truth...especially as there were no other Geeg were present late enough in his life to know the answers-
Cerue-
We were. If I am corrupt, she could be corrupt through me.
What is the answer, Niiue? he pleaded desperately. Which is right?
Niiue was silent for a time. You know which answer I believe, he stated finally. But I also know that my own perspective is colored by the parts of your mind I am made from. I can not give you an impartial perspective with a certain answer...because there isn't one.
Giegue stared at the conundrum in his mind, the two sides of his thought that were slowly tearing him apart. One of hope, one of self-loathing...both antithetical to the Geeg way of being. And he knew not what he should do.
You need to tell her, Niiue stated finally. She may not be the key to the plan anymore...but she might be the key to you...