Up to the sounds of explosions was really nothing new for me really. I almost find it comfortable. I’ve seen elder become...damaged from a lifetime of it but I welcomed it. After a moment I realized that perhaps in this soft pink world that may not be par for the course.
I got to my feet and went to the window and beheld the most ludicrous sight I have ever seen in my entire existence. It was a giant goat. No kidding a giant goat wielding magic with it’s horns as a pitiful army of skeleton ponies attacked the town. I couldn’t help myself. I laughed deep in my gut, I laughed so hard a fell backwards on my ass...well hindquarters. I must have drawn attention to myself because said Goat looked to me and spoke.
“You do not cower in fear?” He bellowed.
“Because you a freaking necromancing goat who resurrects the slowest skeleton ponies I’ve ever seen!”
I blurted. How could I take this seriously? Even here
“They move like snails? I mean who would be afraid of a snail?”
“No-”
“Case and point. You should try something a little more impressive,”
“The residents here seem sufficiently fearful!”
“Not hard to do, why don’t you try putting fear in my eyes!”
I growled and began to concentrate, I didn’t take me long to be prepared. I
had been practicing after all. The goat turned to me with his skeleton ponies and began to gather his own magic but it was too late. In the
blink of an eye I unleashed my Bleed spell on him.
The spell hit him and his legs buckled beneath him. He hit the ground like a clap of thunder and cried out in pain. The pain subsided and
he glared up at me. I stood unwavering as he spat a few spells at me.
“Who are you? Do you even know who I am, witch!?” He demanded.
“I don’t care,” I responded as I deflected his pitiful spells.
“I am Gregor the Necromancer!” He yelled in anger.
He began to heave himself up onto his feet and I quickly sent a poly spell at him. I
took a deep satisfied breath. This felt so good. This felt so natural. ‘Thank you Gregor, I needed this’ I thought to myself as I smirked down at
the goat. My spell hit him square in the face and I teleported myself there next to him as his body contorted and shrunk down to the form of
a squirrel.
One step, one step was all it took to crush him and when the poly spell wore off and he became a goat again, he lay there unconscious
and bleeding from multiple places. I took another deep breath and released a sigh. His skeleton army collapsed around us.. I looked to the
side when I heard a gasp. It was Twilight and she looked terrified. She looked at me with a look that, to be quite honest, shocked me. I took
care of a problem, I saved her pathetic little town and she looked at me like I was the monster.
Twilight ran to Gregor and proceeded to check his pulse. She looked at him and chided me.
“You are the scariest person I have ever met, villain or not”
I’m sure she had hoped that would affect me somehow but all I could think about was going into the plaza and finding soup. I was
hungry. Vegetables, yes vegetables, maybe with tomatoes, or onions...carrots? Why not all three? I turned from Twilight and made my way to
the plaza. Well, if nothing else this might encourage her to find a way to send me home. My kind are obviously not meant for this place...though it was growing on me.
All I found in the plaza were empty booths. Well, damn. Maybe, Sugar Cube Corner then. Surely Pinkie has some sort of cupcake already made for me, I surely deserve it after all that. Something different though, I’ve tried all her concoctions but surely she could use her own type of magic and defy the laws of physics to create something new for me. I can’t explain her with physics or magic. She just breaks reality, I’m convinced. I’d be afraid to see what she could do when she was really angry or sad for that matter. It would definitely end in disaster for all who would have to deal with it. Most likely with someone’s death...emotional death knowing this place but still.
I looked up at Sugar Cube Corner upon arrival and Pinkie had the Banana nut cupcake with extra sprinkles I asked for in record time. Only she will ever know how she does it. After finishing my victory snack I decided to take a walk around Ponyville. I don’t think Gregor was able to cause very much damage in the time I took care of him but the surrounding scenery is exquisite. It is my understanding that the only mar on the landscape is a gorge nearby where eels? Yes, I think it was eels, where huge eels have a nesting area.
Eels...yeah, not excited at all to be seeing that. I decided to skip that on the tour if I could help it. The gorge indeed wasn’t that far and as I made my way around it I saw a pegasus flying over the gorge. I paused and stared at this idiot. This pegasus was pride incarnate and it was performing tricks and evading the eels as they tried to attack the bright flying thing. It...it was quite impressive. Of course I will never tell her this. At least until she tones down that pride a bit. Pride Goethe before the fall as they say. She’s handling eels alright but if she thinks for a second that, that means she can take on a dark wizard or sorcerer she’s going to get herself killed. They would dispatch her as easily as I did with the goat.
As I watch this arrogant little horse fly I sense twilight has caught up with me. Here we go. I try not to laugh out loud. Sure, she’s here to yell about how I should use the power of friendship and what not. I turn and looked at her and see she’s galloping towards me. She seemed frightened, upset. She began to talk but was talking too fast for her mouth to keep up with her brain.
“Hur- Gre-got-away!”
“Take a breath, try again”
“Gregor woke up...We placed bindings on him to transport him...and he broke free!” She spoke between breaths and got a snort of laughter and looked back towards the pegasus.
“What are you waiting on? We have to catch up with the royal guards!” Twilight said. I nodded and went with her. As we traveled I already started to think of how to handle Gregor. I couldn’t use the bleed spell again. He’s seen it, he’d be prepared. That’s if he was worth a damn as a magician. The speed of his skeleton ponies speaks to the contrary but best not to take any chances. I’ll use it if I can.
Not long after I found myself with the armored ponies of the Royal Guardsmen heading into a dark wood the ponies called the Everfree Forest. We travel the forest and past a cliff face with a cave in it. Something told me to keep walking past the cave, I paused and the guards continued. I could feel something inside me almost demand me to keep moving. That wasn’t me. That’s a spell...that’s a ‘Notice me not’ spell. It was powerful...very smooth. I turned and faced the caves and watched the enchantment fade from my sight. Looks like I’m the only one who’s going to be getting the goat.
I charged to the cave and was met with an onslaught of skeleton ponies. They were ridiculously easy to destroy. By the time I realize that little warm up was a distraction I was already in the bear trap. The pain ripped through my leg and I began to bleed all over the contraption. Really, this is a duel of magic and you get me with a freaking animal trap!? Can’t get too upset I’m the idiot that stepped in it. Well, I am definitely not in the mood to die from blood loss in a stinking cave so I got the trap off my foreleg. I took a piece of cloth lying amongst the bones littering the ground and make a temporary bandage for myself to staunch the bleeding for now.
I put a shield around myself as I continue to move into the cave. This goat is going to try to use my injury and the darkness against me. I look around me carefully before continuing. I even notice a sharp, almost dagger like stone on the ground. I pick it up and carry it with me just in case. . My intuition paid off as I came around a sharp turn into the cave and was met with a death bolt. I returned fire and the bolt lit up the cave as we fought. Gregor didn’t shield himself from the shots, he evaded...interesting. Interesting he’s lived this long.
I then shoot a circle of polymorph hexes and send an arcane orb in the middle. He tried to dodge the orb and hit one of the hexes in the process. The orb was able to explode as he returned to his true form covered in new wounds. He ignores his injuries and fired off more death bolts. Oh, no you don’t jackass. I teleported behind him and stabbed him with the stone I had found earlier. I quickly teleported again before he could turn on me and retaliate.
Gregor seemed to become sluggish but he looked at the ground and began to chuckle to himself. I glared at him and that’s when a light began to shine from beneath me. I didn’t want to look down but I needed to know what kind of trap I stepped in this time. It was a rune trap. Not just a rune trap an Inferno trap. I swear to all the holy angels If I get my hands on this goat I am turning him into paste. The pain burned down deep, I could swear it burnt my very soul. Then the goat tried to fire death bolts at me before the rune wore off. In my anger, I summoned up the power to expire the spell and block the bolts. I began slinging lighting all over the cave before sending a massive ice bolt at him. I don’t know if you would call that adding insult to injury or just plain Irony but I enjoyed it.
I had to dodge another death bolt by teleporting and I stood on my injured foreleg when I reappeared. It sent a sharp ache through me and I took a jagged breath. I tried to control myself from showing weakness. I needed to end this, now. Much longer and he’s going to kill me. I opened my pocket dimension and pulled a sword from it. I teleported behind him and tried to sever his head. He teleported as I swung and from across the cave he began to summon more skeletons.
“Maybe you would like to try putting fear in my mage’s eyes!” He laughed. Every single one of the skeletons were unicorns. Well, shit.
I prepared myself for the oncoming massacre at my expense but wouldn’t you believe it. The damn guards showed up. They came charging into the cave with Twilight at the lead. I actually laughed at the sight. Maybe she was a little fearless. Gregor teleported away leaving the guards, Twilight, and I to fight his horde of mages. It took longer than I cared to admit but we defeated them and Twilight looked at me I assumed she thought I was going to give chase to the goat.
“I...I can’t catch him...I’m-” I didn’t realize how much that fight wore me out. Was I getting soft? No…?
“I should say not, you’re injured! We have to get you to the hospital!” Twilight said having caught sight of my haphazardly bandaged leg.
“What the hell is a hospital?”
“A place of healing, we’ll get you fixed up come on!” She insisted and I was escorted to a hospital. I looked forward to resting after this awful day...and I still want vegetable soup...with carrots!