//------------------------------// // 9. Destroyed Through Inaction // Story: Truth Needs No Colors // by Lastingimage24 //------------------------------// "Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake." -Wallace Stevens "What? What I didn't say anything, what are you talking about?" Trust snorted, a little too loudly, and backed up, breaking eye content. "You said-" "I don't know what you're talking about, just-" Trust panickedly looked around, finally grabbing a hoof full of potato chips from the bag that Sketch had floating in mid-air. "Just eat your dumb chips!" She shoved her hoof into Sketch's mouth, which even he had to admit was getting super old. “Tru-mmf!” Trust retracted her hoof and shot up into the sky, leaving Sketch to cough and sputter on the floor. He looked up at her, scaling a rooftop before disappearing into the moonlight. Sketch held his elbow bashfully while chewing the chips that didn’t fall uselessly onto the floor. “Trust, I...” He closed his eyes and turned away, facing the street outside the alley he was in. “I love you too, girl.” He trotted down the street, at a slightly faster pace, ready to close the distance between him and seeing Trust once again. Every second placing a hoof on the floor was another second he couldn’t see her wonderful, beautiful face. It wasn’t long before he had reached the familiar sky tram, still running as it always does. Since it wasn’t actually midnight this time, there were a stark few ponies still using the tram and the area around it. However, it looked like he’d be able to get an empty car despite it all, since it wasn’t so busy. Sketch sighed in relief, excited at the prospect of sharing a car with Trust... and Royal. A few thoughts entered his mind before he quickly chased them out. He took a seat on a nearby bench, waiting for an empty car. “Well I’ll be damned.” Sketch shot up at the voice. Anthem? “Anthem, what? What are you doing here?” “That’s a swell way of greeting a friend,” he sarcastically stated, placing a hoof on Sketch’s mane and shaking it all around. “And I could ask you the same thing, kiddo. It’s getting late.” “You’re dodging the question,” Sketch replied, his voice dry. He would be lying if he said that he was excited that Anthem was here, but it was pretty nice to see a friend. He just would rather be seeing a particular mare right about now. “Alright, alright, but you gotta tell me too. Deal?” Anthem brushed some invisible dirt off of his chest and smirked. Before Sketch could agree to the terms, he continued. “I was just coming back from a little meet up on the south side. We partied for a bit.” “Okay...” Sketch looked around, expecting to see a griffin somewhere in close proximity, but reality had other things to say. “Haren not with you?” Anthem’s ears flattened immediately. He looked to the side and kicked the ground. “No. I’m by myself.” “You...” Sketch scooted over a little bit. There was more than enough room on the bench for anthem already, but this was more of a gesture of invitation than anything. “You okay, dude?” Anthem looked up, down, and around, before sighing and rubbing his face. He took the seat next to Sketch and rubbed his elbow. “I don’t know, Sketchy. I haven’t been able to think clearly for about a month now. Maybe longer. This whole thing has been such a mess.” Sketch tensed up. He wasn’t really expecting Anthem to bring this up by himself; he never was much of a talker. But now, Sketch had his chance to fulfill his promise to Haren. He much rather it was on his terms, but you know what they say about beggars. “This whole thing? You mean mackin’ on Haren?” “We weren’t ‘mackin’’!” He shouted defensively, a little too loudly. A couple of ponies turned to investigate, but went about their business as Anthem lowered his head. An octave lower, he got closer to Sketch’s ear. “We were just havin’ fun. Weird, uncertain fun. Like, a griffin and a pony? It was exciting! There... there was a lot of weird crap to learn ya know? We’re friends, so, we could just, I don’t know, experiment a little. Not a lot of ponies can say that they did it with a griffin, and vice versa, so that’s what it was all about.” There was a pause in the conversation. After a determinate amount of time went by, Sketch nodded his head and said a drawn out, “But...?” “But Haren’s my friend! I thought if we just had a one time fling, where we ya know... ‘played’ a little bit, that it’d be okay. But it wasn’t just one time. We’d be sitting together watch a movie, and she’d lean on me... and as we got more tired.... as it got later, she’d rub a bit, and I’d put my hoof over her chest. She’d turn around and look me in the eye, a few inches from my face, smile and laugh as she told a joke. And I’d laugh... And because of the... ’contact’ certain biological stuff would start to happen... and she’d offer to take care of it. And I would agree.” Anthem coughed into his hoof and he shuffled a bit, obviously getting uncomfortable. “It’s okay, Anthem. Keep going.” Sketch put a tender hoof on Anthem’s shoulder. He tensed a little, but let it happen. “Eventually, there’d have to be less and less excuses. We’d get on the couch, and maybe that day she wouldn’t have to use me as a pillow. She’d reach over to me first. Or i’d run my hoof over her flank. One day I saw her lying on her back on the couch and I just... got right on top of her. Even forgot to put on a movie. We didn’t even have to say anything.” Anthem started to shake a little before he hugged himself to stop. “We’d laugh, and talk, and just... shit, I don’t wanna say cuddle because that’s super gay, but we cuddled. And then she’d get up and make us food, get us a beer, or put on a movie. And we’d just fucking sit there like it didn’t happen.” “Anthem, I’m not trying to belittle what you’re feeling, but...” Sketch stretched awkwardly and gave a long sigh. “That sounds awesome?” “It’s not me, Sketch!” Anthem slammed his hoof into the bench. “You don’t get it. I’ve had my share of drug-ridden, drunken, sloppy sex with mares. I’ve done it with multiple ponies, in public, half asleep, a couple of dudes when I was really out of it!” “But...” Sketch started, already kind of feeling he knew the answer. “But I never cared about any of them.” Anthem laughed as he pulled the loose flesh on his face back. “I never even saw the face of half of them. I only knew the names of like, a couple, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t their real names. They knew that it was just to feel good for a couple of minutes, and I knew it too. I never had to talk to them any more than what they wanted, which usually was not much. And for some stupid fucking reason I thought that it’d be the exact same way with Haren. But the first night it happened something real fucking scary happened.” “What?” “When I walked into the living room after getting up from bed... she was there. The same face of the mar-... the woman that was goin’ down on me yesterday, smiling at me and teasing me about my mane. Saying that it looked like I cut off the head of a mop and taped it to my skull.” Anthem lurched over and covered his face. “It was so damn terrifying.” Sketch looked away, finally understanding Anthem’s strange behavior that last couple of weeks. His odd distancing of himself. He’s just been terrified. Unfortunately, Sketch had to play dumb in order to help him, so he placed his hoof back onto Anthem’s shoulder. “Why are you scared, Anthem?” “I... I...” Anthem looked up at the sky, tears streaming down his face. “I love Haren, man. She’s so... cool. She always knows what to say, she makes me laugh, makes me think about myself. She’s strong, physically and mentally. She’d beat me at arm wrestling and tells me that I could do better. She listens to my problems and always has an answer. She feeds me, does the shopping, fixes things that are broken, tells me things I didn’t know about the movies I’m crazy about, earns all the money... She gives me a reason to get up in the morning. She cares about so much. I look at her, and I wish I was her. She’s so much better than me. And I know that I want her beside me all my life, Sketch. I wouldn’t be able to live without her. I want us to be together forever. I don’t know how I got as far as I did without her help. I wanted us to do everything together, go everywhere together, hell and back.” Anthem sighed, and stretched out along the bench, “But I ruined it. It was never about sex, dude. Now when I look at her, she’s just the girl that gave me a blowjob. She turned into every nameless mare that I bent over a table. I destroyed that image of perfection I had of her. Now she’s just another mare that i’m gonna throw away after I’m done. And I’ve been avoiding her, and running away, because I hope that, that, the one time I come back, the other Haren will be there. But when I look at her now, my eyes trail to her ass, I track her pretty tail as it flicks around, and I just picture myself running my hooves down her chest. That’s not what I wanted. When I was at the party, Sketch, I was so close to fucking her, for real, not just third base. I’m terrified that when that time comes, (and with the way things are going, it will) that any chance the Haren I loved will come back, will be gone forever. She’s, she’s going to leave man, I’m not gonna-” “Anthem!” Sketch shook Anthem once or twice to get him to shut up. “Anthem, I can’t believe you think that. That she’s gonna change just because you got your dick wet!” “N-no! She won’t change, I WILL!” Anthem shouted, pounding his hoof into the bench, his voice capping out and echoing off the sides of empty buildings. Thankfully the site was pretty abandoned at this point in time. “You don’t understand, man! She’s not those mares I fucked, SHE’S REAL! I CAN’T BELIEVE I TREATED HER THAT WAY, LIKE A DIRTY BITCH!” Anthem began to rise from the bench. Sketch panicked, this was not good. The last thing he needs is a hysterical Anthem running around and getting arrested. He had to act fast. Sketch leaped forward with all the strength that he could and caught Anthem on the shoulders, pinning him against the base of the bench. Sketch could barely manage not toppling over, considering how scrawny he was compared to Anthem. The only reason he got the pin was the element of surprise, but he knew that if Anthem resisted at all, Sketch could become a simple stain on the wall. Anthem grunted as his head hit the wood of the bench. “Anthem! Calm the hell down, you idiot!” Sketch nearly fell over, but stabilized himself by flattening against Anthem’s body. “You need to calm down!” “NO! I’ve ruined everything! You don’t under-” “I DO understand!” Sketch yelled back, at equal volume. “I understand what it’s like to lean on glass supports. Something that could shatter in an instant if I made the wrong move! Supports that are holding up everyone and everything I care about. But I do not let that change who I am!” Anthem’s body went limp and his face froze into a blank stare. He stopped struggling, and instead became content to breathing heavily. “You can’t let that change the way you treat people, or yourself. Have you once thought about what Haren is going through?” “Wha- she-? I made damn sure that what I do doesn’t affect her,” he assured between breaths, his face contorting from insecurity. “You don’t honestly believe that, do you? You’re so caught up about how much you care about Haren that you haven’t even considered how much she cares about you!” Sketch yelled an octave lower. He was trying to lower the general volume of the argument, to calm things down in a more tangible way. So far it was working. “Why... why should she? I’m such a mess... all I do is go party, get drunk, and watch movies.” Anthem grinned an empty smile. “Regardless of whether or not that’s true, it’s obviously not what she thinks about you.” Sketch said, their voices now at a calming quantity of decibels. “Why do you think she’s stuck around all this time, huh? She obviously cares about your useless ass. She probably needs you as much as you need her. Now I won’t speak for her, but I’d say that she might even love you too.” Anthem tried to speak, but as soon as Sketch said love, tears welled up again, and he choked out. “You keep thinking that you’re like, this pile of shit or something that doesn’t deserve her, or even me. But I want you to know, that, at least for me, you're a rock that I need. A friend that listens to me, and wants the best for me. Someone who ambushes me at school because you're worried about me like no one else is, even my parents. Someone who isn’t afraid to cross boundaries to offer a helping hoof. You don’t care what ponies say or think, you’re just always helping people and don’t ask nothing in return. And you worry so much that you’re gonna make a mistake...” “Then... what should I do?” Anthem asked, his words barely scratching Sketch’s ears. “That’s for you to decide,” Sketch answered honestly. Anthem cringed, those words not what he wanted to hear. “But just remember that you’re a glass support too. There’s already so much that’s fragile... don’t end up shattering yourself and bringing everyone else down with you. You not doing anything is probably just as dangerous as dealing with this problem head on, man. You need to talk to Haren. Tell her how you feel. Avoiding her is just gonna make her feel crappy.” “Tss,” Anthem sounded, grimacing and looking away. “Yeah... yeah you’re probably right.” Anthem sighed once again, forcing his tears to fall away. “I just... I don’t want to fuck this up. We were such good friends. The best.” “You know,” Sketch said, arching a brow and smiling. “You can be friends AND bone. They’re called marefriends.” Anthem’s eyes shot open. Wait. Wait. He really hadn’t considered this? WHAT?! “I hadn’t...” “Are you serious?!” Sketch angrily laughed. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” “I never... had one,” he answered honestly. “It’s... that’s...” “Anthem... You could be with her forever. This doesn’t have to be casual.” “It’s just, I... I want to be friends. I don’t want this commitment, cause if it’s there, something bad could happen, and I could lose her without being able to get her back.” Anthem looked like a lost child. Instead of averting his gaze in shame, like most would, his eyes were big, like dinner plates. Screaming for help. No wonder Haren fell in love with him. These feelings he had were so genuine he couldn’t contain it. Being around it was addictive. “Anthem, bro... imagine what you could never have if you didn’t take the chance. Instead of being that good friend you had when you were young, she could be the second half of you. Your better half till the end of your days, and even after. The woman you’re buried with, where you’re one and whole, in an eternal embrace. Doesn’t that sound great?” Anthem took a long while to ponder this. His gaze drifted as he daydreamed. “I... never thought that...” he laughed, finally closing his eyes and shaking his head. “This is so stupid. A couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t even attracted to her. Now, I think I wouldn’t even be able to keep it up with another mare. It would have to be a griffin. I can’t stop thinking about her, body and soul.” “Once you go beak, you can never go back?” Sketch offered, finally climbing off of Anthem. He brushed himself off while Anthem lethargically settled into a lazy lean. “Yeah, maybe, heh. She’s just so... mmn, you know?” “Haha I could see it,” Sketch answered honestly. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier. She’s so lean and curvy at the same time. Her feathers are so soft, and her natural smell is like, cedar wood.” Anthem laughed again, holding his hooves up as if he were showing her off. “I would think that the beak would be like...” Sketch asked, rubbing the back of his mane. “Ahh, no man, that’s like the best part sometimes. And it’s softer than it looks.” Anthem coughed into his hoof, blushing for once in his life. Sketch tapped his chin awkwardly, desperately trying to find things for his body to do. Suddenly a question popped in his mind. “You haven’t kissed her, huh?” “No,” he answered, grinding his hoof against the bench. “Just third base. Skipped the other stuff. I-I didn’t count the cuddling, cause we did that before all this happened.” “You should kiss her. I bet that’d be awesome.” “Wow, yeah, actually, I hadn’t thought about it.” Anthem sighed again, trying to hide his blush. “I hardly kissed any of the other flings I had either. I liked it a lot when it happened but I guess I hardly ever tried it when i could.” “Yeah and if you sleep with her, she’d be in bed with you when you wake up.” “U-uh!” Anthem’s blush deepened, to a darker color Sketch didn’t think possible. He covered his face bashfully. This was hilarious. Anthem could brag about bitches all day, but normal couple romance stuff got him so flustered. “I hadn’t thought about that, oh Celestia.” Sketch began to crack up and held Anthem at his side. “See? You want this.” “Yeah,” he chuckled, holding his knee. “Maybe I did. But what if-” “You see, that’s the cool thing about Haren. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way-” Sketch giggled internally since it didn’t matter what Sketch said, he KNEW that Haren already loves him. “she’d be super cool with you regardless.” “You think?” “Yeah, she’s your friend. I don’t think that’d ever change, like short of you stabbing her mother or something, and even then-” “Yeah okay, I get it,” Anthem interrupted, punching Sketch in the shoulder. If everyone kept that up, he was going to start bruising soon. “See you around, Sketchy.” “See ya, Anthem.” Anthem froze as he got up, and rotated back around to Sketch. “Wait, in all the confusion you never told me what you were doing here.” “Oh!” Sketch exclaimed, ears flattening. He was really hoping he had forgotten about that very one sided deal. “I uh...” Sketch reached around for his stuff, and held it in front of him. “Lunch and drawing at the lake!” Anthem stared at him with a scrutinizing look for a few moments before smiling and turning away once again. “Alrighty, then you little weirdo. Have fun, don’t drown! And tell Trust I said hi!” Sketch’s jaw dropped. For as dumb as Anthem was, his odd intuition was astounding, being able to deduce he was spending time with Trust despite any evidence. He decided the knowledge was mostly harmless and smiled back to the shrinking Anthem. He nodded in response and got up from the bench, and onto an approaching tram. He set his thing aside and closed his eyes. As he did, a picture of Anthem and Haren flowed into his mind, one of playful love, casual care. Everything he wanted for himself. He wished under his breath that they could work this all out. Because just now he realized, that while he was holding everything up on his glass supports, Haren and Anthem were the ones keeping him from falling down. Sketch had opened the book he brought as the tram silently rode into the darkness. The light from his horn was plenty enough to see the words. It had been a while since he read the story of the little griffin girl to Trust, though they were almost done. To be fair, it wasn't that exciting of a book, but it was a great stepping stone in literacy. Things suddenly got a little brighter in the tram, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. He looked to his right and saw Trust give him a little wave. “Nice of you to join me,” he said, closing the book in his grasp. “Hey.” Trust kicked her hoof back and forth a couple of times whilst staring at the floor. Sketch waited for her to make some kind of quip or tease him a little. But nothing happened. He cocked his head and arched his brow. “You okay?” “Huh, oh yeah,” Trust held her knee and coughed. This wasn't about the love thing, was it? Sketch was prepared to let her off the hook, but if she brought it up, that's her fault. “What's wrong?” Trust looked up, and Sketch was surprised to see her face being quite flushed. “I uhh, saw you talkin’ with Anthem.” Oh. “Oh?” Why was this an important event? Things got a little heated, sure, but everything got worked out in the end. “I couldn't hear what you guys were talking about, but,” Trust’s face became beet red. “You guys got uhh, pretty ‘intense’ there.” “Uh, yeah, we did?” Sketch phrased it like a question despite being a confirmation. “I don’t-” Sketch screeched to a halt. He suddenly remembered passionately grabbing Anthem and pinning him to the floor, and closing the distance to keep him from squirming. At a certain angle, at a certain distance, that might look a little suspect. Sketch coughed and covered his face in embarrassment. “Oh my lord.” “So I thought I had this figured out, but was Royal right about the mating thing? Is it like, only for other males? You can't make babies with him, can you?” Trust gasped and her face became even redder. “Was I not supposed to watch; is that rude? I'm so sorry, I just couldn't look away!” “Trust, Trust, calm down haha,” Sketch shook his head amicably. “It wasn't like that.” “I-I-I-it wasn't like what?” Trust began playing with her hooves, clipping them together panickedly. “We weren’t... ‘doing’ anything. He just started freaking out and I had to calm him down.” “Oh,” she oh’d. A long, awkward silence ensued, neither party looking at the other. “You... disappointed?” Sketch asked, taking a pick to the iced over conversation. Trust giggled, punching Sketch in the now designated punch-arm. “A little. You two make a cute couple.” “Oh no,” he rebutted, “He's way too stallion for me.” “Funny,” she replied, sauntering towards Sketch and lifting a strand of hair out of his eye. “I would think that you're more than enough mare for him.” “Oof, jeez, did you have to kick me right in the balls?” They laughed together a bit before Trust settled down into a seat. “Anyway, why was he freaking out?” Trust crossed her legs and leaned onto Sketch. Again, he didn't tense up like he usually does. “I think he found out he really loves Haren and his brain exploded.” “Aw that's adorable.” Trust snickered and rose a hoof in the air. “But didn't they already know that? I mean, what about that dank stuff they were doing at the party?” “Well, it's hard for some ponies, to know the reasons they do things. Love can be loading a crossbow right in their face and they still don't see it coming.” “Yeah, I guess we can all be short sided at times,” Trust mentioned before turning her head. Sketch shuffled, a feeling in the core of his being brewing a few degrees over boiling. “To think: they almost ruined their relationship due to inaction. I'd never do something like that,” he whispered. Trust shook a little, but she showed no sign of hearing him. He glanced at her, and once he realized she was still looking away he became content in staring at the back of her head. Maybe I'm just in over my head. How did all this even happen? With the company I keep I should be breaking apart just as much as Anthem did. Trust sniffed and turned to face Sketch. He jumped and flicked his head away just in time. “Sketch?” “Yeah?” “When we first met... why did you kiss me?” Sketch’s world suddenly went silent. He thought back on what Trust had let slip in that alley. That’s why I love you. This was the first question in a long time that he didn't have an answer to. His brain exploded.