//------------------------------//
// III: Scientifically Speaking, Not a Nerd 
// Story: Three and a Half Mares 
// by SurprisePinkiePinkiePie 
//------------------------------//

"I hate you!" 
"No you don't!"
"You idiot," snapped Celestia. "You nearly got us both killed!"
"Yeah," argued Luna. "But I totally pranked Sunny Daze!"
"You gave her a free cupcake!"
"Yeah, but the cupcakes had an insult written on the side of them in braile!"
"Does anypony actually check their cupcakes for braille? Don't they just eat their cupcakes? Is there any reason to believe she even reads braille?"
"You can't prove she doesn't! Besides, she'll be so mad when she finds out!"
"Which she won't, because not even I'm nerdy enought to check the side of my cupcake for braille. She's probably already eaten it. And you went and got the attention of the draconequus!"
Luna stopped dead. "Draco Malfoy?"
"What?" her older sister snapped. "No, draconequus! You know, the big dragon thingy!"
"Oh, the monster. Why didn't you just say that?"
"Because- oh, forget it! Let's just try and get back to Ponyville." She paused, and looked around. "Where's Ponyville?" 
Luna looked around.  "How would I know?"
Celestia groaned. "Please tell me we're not lost!"
"Okay, I won't. We just don't know where we are."
The older mare sighed. "Hopefully if we stay here somepony will find us and lead us home....."
A terrible thought struck her. "What if we can't go back to Ponyville? What if we go there and it's gone and we have to go and live in Unicornia and everypony hates us because we're Earthponies and-"
Luna giggled. "Don't worry! It's not like he's the reality-warping embodiment of chaos or something!" She stared at her sister's face for a moment and sighed. "I shouldn't be allowed to say things, should I?"
"Just shut up and-"
She stopped dead.
"Shut up and what?" asked Luna. 
"Shut up and shut up, you idiot, I can hear something."
Luna looked around. She couldn't hear anything but Celestia had proven to have rather better hearing then her so she took her word for it. She stared around hopefully, then nervously. What if it was the draco-whatever thingymabob?
"Okay," whispered Celestia. "I'm pretty sure it's not the draconequus...."
Luna, squinting, noticed an orange pony in the distance. "Hey, look! It's Sparkleworks!"
Celestia groaned. "Is she one of your 'super-cool epic amazing friends'?"
Luna missed the sarcasm. "Yeah, she's super duper cool, epic and amazing! Pretty neat, huh?"
"Yeah, if you insist. Is she the one you're convinced is your 'bestest best friendliest BFF forever ever' even though you've met her literally once?"
"Yep!"
Sparkleworks saw her friend and ran up to the two. "Luna! I haven't seen you in forever!" She turned to Celestia. "And I haven't seen you in....ever! What's your name?"
"She's my-" began Luna.
"I'm her sister," finished the older mare, somewhat forcefully. She knew from experience that Luna wouldn't hesitate to introduce her as her pet nerd. "My name's Celestia."
A second pony, this one a pinkish-purple, trotted into view. "Sparkleworks, I told you not to go so fast- hi, Tia!"
It was Kimono. "Hi, Kimono! And don't call me Tia. What are you doing here?"
"We saw the-" began Sparkleworks. "the, the thing-"
"The draconequus-" interupted Kimono.
"Yeah, that thing, and it scared us so much we galloped all the way out here, and now we're totally lost!" She emphasised the last part by taking a hoofful of glitter out of the pinke saddlebag she was wearing and throwing it into the air. Celestia stared. "Did you just happen to have that with you?"
"I always-" she threw another hoofful of glitter over them- "keep my saddlebag-" more glitter- "with me in case I need-" more glitter- "more glitter!"
"I see," muttered Celestia simply. "Or I would, if you hadn't gotten glitter all over my face."
"Oh come on, lighten up!" insisted Luna. 
Lighten up? Lighten up? Lighten up? There was no way she was lightening up.

Luna, I love you. I really do. You're the most amazing thing that has every happened to me. But you are such an idiot.
Boy, am I glad she can't read my mind. 
She expects me to socialise more and make friends, but the best one she's made since we came to Ponyland is the one that shoves glitter in everypony's face. Honestly, that's just stupid. Who in the world would be silly enough to carry around glitter like that? Seriously.....A friend of Luna's a friend of mine, but es una idiota!
Oops. Still not used to this English thing. I mean, she's an idiot. Sparkleworks, not Luna. Actually, scratch that, they're both idiots. 
I'm still surprised this Sparkleworks didn't know I existed before now. I mean, I know they've only met once, but normally I'm the first thing that pops up in conversation! What, did they do a non-romantic version of Cinderella? Did they start playing hide and seek for no reason before they knew each other and then Luna lost her hat and Sparkleworks had it or something?
Wait, no, that happened with Sunny Daze. She really is an idiot. 
Still, at least she didn't introduce me as the nerd. Because I'm not a nerd. Scientifically speaking, 'nerd' is an insult that some ponies have chosen to embrace, and therefore whether or not I am one is based entirely in opinion and mostly relies on whether or not I choose to identify as one.
Scientifically speaking, I'm not a nerd.