Caramel was walking down the street, looking around to make sure nopony saw where he was going.
He was going to meet somepony who could help him in his situation, the one with the taxes - wait a second I mean the one where his wife is trying to get a divorce from him and is currently having an affair with a fucking dj.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
He stopped walking when he reached his destination, a dark alleyway, where he saw a silhouette of a stallion.
“You there?” Caramel asked hesitantly, feeling spicy.
And no, that’s not a mistake, he literally felt spicy.
Nah, just pranking y’all. He felt like his stomach was about to do 27 summer sults, exit through his throat, come back, beat the shit out of his insides like a professional sumo wrestler, and then throw up.
“Yeh, now what you want, Earthy?” The stallion asked, his voice sounding deep and scratchy.
“Uh. . . I - I want you to get rid of Vinyl Scratch!” Caramel finally said through his nervous stuttering, sounding a little too loud in the end and flinching back in fear.
The stallion chuckled darkly, and sighing.
“Ah, so you think it’s smart to kill a famous dj who is currently dating your wife and how recently you filed a report against her.”
“I - I don’t care! I just want her away from my wife!” Caramel yelled.
“... Nah.”
“WHAT?!” Caramel screamed.
“BECAUSE I AIN’T EVEN A CANON CHARACTER IN DIS STORY BITCH!” Moonshine yelled as she jumped into the light, scaring the daylights out of Caramel.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Caramel ejactulated, screaming like a girl and fainting.
“Oh shit, uhhhhh, gotta hide the body!” Moonshine yelled, using her magic to lift Caramel off the ground and teleported him to a river, where the water was MORE THAN WILLING to take Caramel away with absolute GLEE.
And not the show Glee, it sucks.
Moonshine then wiped her hooves off like she got into dirty work even though she didn’t really do anything besides making Caramel ejaculate, scream like a girl, faint, and toss him into a river.
“MOONSHINE!” Gamertag yelled as she galloped to her.
“Oh, hey Ch - I MEAN GAMERTAG,” Moonshine yelled.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY STORY??” Gamertag yelled, fisting Moonshine.
“I was bored, lol,” Moonshine casually snored, leaning against the wall behind her.
“OH MY GOSH YOU ARE AS BAD AS MOONSHINE!”
“I am Moonshine.”
“I MEAN THE FUCKING DRINK.”
“You cannot deny da Moonshine, lady.” Moonshine hummed.
“Oh God please don’t tell me we’re in a shitty fanfic,” John groaned as he is essentially dragging by his tail by Kiara, who is jumping around happily towards Gamertag and Moonshine.
“GAMERTAG, MOONSHINE~” Kiara called out happily.
“I thought I told you to stay inside the house until we get out of my book!” Gamertag climaxed, breathing heavily in anger.
“I know, I thought I should tell you that Divina kind of flipped and jumped out the window to kill Caramel.” Kiara sing songed, skipping around John, who is still lying on the ground.
“John, get the fuck off the ground,” Gamertag whined, train railing into him.
“I may be a part of your mind, but I am my own pony now!” John fadoodled his noodle.
“John, stop riding the dragon, you know you cannot deny the Kiara.” Moonshine avolated.
“OH SNAPPLE!” Kiara yelled.
“LE CRAPPLE!” John followed.
“HEY, THAT’S MY CATCHPHRASE!” Gamertag yelled.
“GAMERTAG, DIVINA ESCAPED AND KIARA IS HIGH ON ACID!” Game Shard screamed as she ran to Gamertag and entrapped her into a loving embrace that is inescapable on top of John.
Moonshine smirked. “Kiara will never be as high as my dick is.”
“Well, you’re Moonshine, so…” Game Shard said matter of factly as if it was a scientifically proven fact.
“Are you coming or what??” Blaze yelled at Sound Blast.
“I’m not but I am breathing hard,” Sound Blast, called out, breathing heavily.
“I’m always coming,” Moonshine said seductively, winking at Blaze. “If ya know what I mean.”
“Ya’ll are weirdly dirty minded today,” Skyler noted, raising an eyebrow at everypony.
Nopony ever knew how she got there but fuck it.
“Well, Skyler, let’s unzip our genes and mix code together, if you know what I mean, giddity giddity.” Moonshine flirted as she teleported behind Skyler.
“Can we, like, find Divina or something instead of say a bunch of random sexual innuendos and shitty pick up lines?” Gamertag asked as she roughly pushed Game Shard off of her #ForeverAlone and got off of John.
Morbidly Artistic than showed up and started singing “Shape of You” By Ed Sheeran and sounded really good.
“MA, why are you singing that song?” Gamertag asked.
“Because I’m in love with the shape of you,” Morbidly Artistic sang, licking Gamertag's cheek seductively.
“... Let’s find Divina!” Gamertag yelled.
“Ok,” Moonshine said, teleporting everypony to a dark room.
“... Why are we in a dark room from Life Is Strange?” John asked as he FINALLY GOT OFF HIS LAZY ASS and walked around.
“Because I like Life Is Strange!” Moonshine sobbed, feeling discriminated.
“Don’t worry baby, I like LIS too,” Morbidly Artistic cooed.
“I SHIP IT!” Kiara screamed like a dying cat, soundly close to Nepeta.
John rolled his eyes. “You ship everything.”
Morbidly Artistic made her way over to John and draped her arm over his shoulders and whispered: “If you were a drum, I’d bang you all night~”
John’s facial expression turned from a look of boredom to a look of disgust in a matter of seconds.
“WHAT?!?” He yelped. He quickly ran into the darkest corner of the room, which wasn’t very hard seeing as how it was a dark room.
“HEY!” A voice yelled.
Gamertag cocked her head to the side, a look of confusion on her face. “Vinyl?”
“EXCUSE ME, ME AND MY MAREFRIEND ARE TRYING TO HAVE SEXY TIMES IN THE SHOWER!” Vinyl yelled, Octavia hiding behind the shower curtain.
“VINYL, COVER YOURSELF!” Octavia ejactulated.
“WE DON’T EVEN WEAR CLOTHES WE’RE GODDAMN PONIES!” Vinyl climaxed.
“WE’RE NOT IN THE DARK ROOM IN LIFE IS STRANGE, WE’RE IN A GENERALLY DARK ROOM WITH A SHOWER.” Rift Raft exclaimed.
“Where the fuck did you even come from?” John asked.
“Who are you?” Morbidly Artistic asked foolishly.
“And you,” She added, pointing to Shooting Star.
“I AM THE INTELLIGENT FUCKING SHOOTING STAR!” Shooting Star exasperated.
“You’re fucking a shooting star? Damn, that’s so intense on so many levels.” Moonshine complimented.
“And I am Rift Raft.” Rift Raft said blankly.
“She’s really competitive.” Shooting Star said.
“AM NOT!”
Shooting Star and Rift Raft then started to have an intense makeout session and fall on the floor.
“Where are we though, exactly?” Gamertag asked.
“We’re at Vinyl’s apartment, duh, you wrote this story.” Moonshine insulted.
“WELL SORRY I DIDN’T GIVE MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THE SURROUNDINGS IN MY STORY BESIDES GENERALIZATIONS AND SHIT.”
“Jeez gurl, calm yo tits,” Divina said.
“WHY IS EVERYONE TAKING MY CATCHPHRASES I WILL SUE YOU ALL - DIVINA!” Gamertag yelled as she ran to Divina.
“Well, Moonshine did take us to Div,” Game Shard shrugged.
“Where were you?? And did you do anything to Caramel??” Gamertag asked fearfully.
“Well…” Divina started.
~~~
“Hello, mother fucker,” Divina hissed seductively, keeping Caramel in a dominatrix style room, and Caramel himself duct taped to a wooden chair.
“Wha - SOMEPONY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!” Caramel climaxed, screaming like a girl.
“This,” Divina said as she looked to the readers - yes, YOU, you dumb - stating “is for you, GT’s blood lusting Caramel haters,” Divina then grabbed a chainsaw, and started it up, Caramel still screaming like a girl.
“PLEASE HAVE MERCY, I HAVE A FAMILY!” Caramel cried.
“No, you don’t. Not.” She said slowly, bringing the chainsaw close to his side. ‘Any.” She inched the swivelling blade closer. “More.” She whispered.
~~~
“And?” Kiara asked.
“That’s it.” Divina said.
“WHAT?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??” John yelled.
“Well, I can say I’m not the only one who loves a good cliffhanger ~ or at least tease the readers into thinking they’re getting what they want when really it’s a troll.”
“I have raised you well, my student.” Gamertag calmly said as both her and Divina bowed to each other, animoo style.
“... I hate everyone.” John said, leaving the apartment.
“LET’S GO HAVE AN ADVENTURE!” Gamertag yelled in a husky anime boy style voice while pointing her hoof to the ceiling.
“Sure, why the hell not.” Morbidly Artistic said.
“Eh, I’m single and bored, sure.” Divina said, grabbing onto MA’s and GT’s hooves as they fly up, crashing through the ceiling.
“MY CEILING!!!!” Vinyl ejactulated as she ran outside the shower, still soaking wet.
“Eh, it’s ok, we break a lot of stuff.” Moonshine said, juggling a bunch of items, like a lamp, a computer, a couch, etc.
Vinyl screamed like a child was going through her and also doing the macarena.
~~~
“Wow, why is this my life?” John asked as he drank a hardcore moonshine.
~~~
“Happy April Fools Day, everyone!” Divina said as she popped up from a black void.
Morbidly Artistic smiled without the slightest hint of sexual tension for the first time ever. “Happy April Fool’s Day. My new album will be coming out soon!”
Which really means never but who cares GO ALONG WITH IT SHE’S MY SIDE HO YOU READERS. It’s hella kinky.
“Anyway, we would like to say before you have any weird speculations, these characters are from a story Gamertag wrote before Refound Love, check it out, it’s really funny ^^.” It’s called Why Is This My Life? Also none of the characters are canon to this story. Duh.
Ending Credits; We promise no roof-chans were injured, and unfortunately Caramel is not injured. *dabs*. Also there were a few references to things, find them!
P.s. The amazing, wonderful, and lovely Gamertag, the obvious author of Refound Love, had no part at all as to what the hell is going on, this was a fucking April Fool’s Day joke if you didn’t get it by this point.
P.p.s. Buffered is best pony.
P.p.p.s. Moonshine is on all the drugs
P.p.p.p.s. Lucky Streak is my husband - Divina
P.p.p.p.p.s. Divina is now a dangerous combination of Morbidly Artistic and Gamertag
P.p.p.p.p.p.s. This is the end of the p.s’s *dabs*