//------------------------------//
// THE LEGEND NEVER DIES! 
// Story: Twisted Jinxing 
// by Foxaholic 
//------------------------------//

Everything was nice and quiet in the land of Equestria. The ponies were all sleeping happily and the nocturnal ones were enjoying their life. The Lunar Princess was watching all her subjects with a smile. Everything was going as nicely as ever, nothing seemed like it could disturb this peace. Too bad that the univers had other plans...

All of a sudden, everypony in Equestria got startled by a loud sound. "DUN DUN DUN" It woke up all those who were sleeping. And it front of everypony's eyes was a black box with the words: 'You have been invaded by 'THE LEGEND'. Nopony knew what that thing was, except two certain princesses.

In the middle of Canterlot castle, in the throne room a red circle appeared on the ground. And from it rose a giant man, with a 'Mask of the Father' and he wore the armor of giants. Big plate armor that nothing in the world could scratch. And with all the poise a man- no, a GOD would ever need! He held a giant sword that created fire from nothing! It had tons of spikes, maces, pickaxes, axes and other swords glued to it. It had 5 crazy scratching goblins. 50 virgins were glued to it. Wings of demons and angels alike. The skulls of all kinds of monsters. And the most dangerous of all, THE SPOON OF DEATH. That, was the legendary 'Zweihander'. He spoke in the manliest voice ever heard in the entire multiverse.

"Guess who's back, bitch?!" The whole castle shook with the manly power of his voice. 

Celestia woke up with fear, just as her sister entered the room. "Sister!" She looked around with fear in her eyes and closed the door. "D-Did you see it too?"

"Y-Yes... First it was that thief Twisted Fate... Now HE is back..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Then the door was smashed open, and HE... The Legend... The one who's name make gods tremble in fear... The almighty... The one who is the reason all the alicorns are dead... Why the world is so weak and peaceful... Why there are no wars... For the fear of HIM coming back... Giant Dad... Has entered the room. "FOUND YOU, SCRUB!"

Both sisters screamed in horror. "KYAAAAAAAAH!" And ran away filled with pure terror.

"RUN! RUN COWARDS! I'M COMING FOR YOU~!" 

The princesses ran as fast as they could. But ended up at a dead end, which had a human skeleton bend over with a sign under it: 'Try tongue, but hole'. Which scared them even more.

They quickly teleported into a volcano where they thought they would be safe. But, yet again, they saw a human skeleton, which, this time, looked like it was trying to get out of the lave, and a sign next to it: 'Don't give up skeleton!'
The moment they finished reading the sign a hand popped out of the lava and THE LEGEND came out of it. "YAH CAN'T RUN FROM MEH YAH BEYATCHES!" And again the princesses screamed and teleported away. Giant Dad wiggled his hands like he was a vegetable with spaghetti hands and made a weird sound as he teleported after them with 'Da Powar' "BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB~"

It seems that if you don't concentrate when you teleport, you seem to end up in pretty weird places. As they ended up on a ship. Which happened to be attacked by pirates... Great...

The princesses were trying to understand what the hell was going on when the pirates jumped on the ship and started attacking the normal sailors. But as both of the alicorns were starting to gather magic in their horns they heard a BOOM and a weird squid like creature with multiple eye patches on it, only having one eye that wasn't covered, the creature being shot from a cannon onto the ship while screaming "I'M IN CHARGE NOW!"

"What in my name is going on here..." Mumbled the sun princess as she saw the squid creature jump around screaming and swinging its sword around like a hyperactive psychopath.

Then out of the water a giant kraken appeared with Giant Dad on top of it "HAHAHAHAHA YA' CAN'T RUN FROM MEH"

When Luna saw him she grabbed the squid thingy with her magic and threw it at Giant Dad, the squid thingy screaming "I'M IN CHARGE NOW!" The moment the pirate squid hit THE LEGEND it just bounced off his armor like it was nothing. 

"WHAT RINGS YOU GOT, BITCH?!" And then the kraken sinked the ship... Along with everyone on it... But somehow the princesses managed to teleport at the last moment.

They were now on an ice mountain... On top of it... Where a giant castle was located... What it was in front of it however... Oh dear...

In front of the castle was Giant Dad sitting on a giant throne of swords with his sword inside a dragon's skull. He was surrounded by small versions of him who all had a high pitched and cartoonish voice.

"Here they are boss!"

"Let's get 'em boss!"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"We got you boss!"

"Ye boss!"

"We'll get em boss!"

"Ye boss! You da best!"

"We'll kill them all boss!"

THE LEGEND pulled his sword and pointed it at them while a blue fire cane out of his mask's eyes. Then the minions attacked. 

"CHAAAAARGE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH"

"LEEEEEROOOOOOOY JEEEEEENKIIIIIINNNNSSS!"

"MRGLAAAAARGH!"

"DEMACIAAAAAA"

"FOR NOXUUUUS!"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The epic battle started. Celestia was disintegrating the Little Giant Dads with the power of the sun, while Luna was shooting moonlight at them and cutting them with a Moonlight Greatsword. Sometime in the fight a man dressed in armor with a helmet that looked like bucket on his head had joined them in 'Jolly Co-Operation' while screaming "Praise the sun!" The minions died easily, but they were just so many!

After 10 days they managed to kill all the Little Giant Dads. Then THE LEGEND stood from his pile of skulls "WELL? WHAT IS IT?!" his voice boomed when he charged. The Sun knight who came to help stood no chance... He had fallen to the stunlock. Celestia and Luna were beaten easily and Giant Dad was about to finish them while screaming "PRINCESSES OF THE EAST?! MORE LIKE PRINCESSES OF THE DECEASED!"

"Stop." A heavenly voice came from the sky. They all stopped and looked with amazement to the voice and saw a giant Tinyfin sitting in the clouds while wearing a monocle, a top hat, a bow tie and a suit. He also had a mustache like no other. "Giant Dad... You cannot exist in this peaceful land... Your power is not made to corrupt this place... LEAVE NOW OR YOU SHALL BE DESTROYED!"

THE LEGEND laughed. "HOW HILARIOUS! DO YOU THINK SOMEONE LIKE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING TO ME?! HA! TRY ME BITCH!"

"As you wish..." The Tinyfin lowered his hand to him and started erasing him with an eraser.

THE LEGEND screamed in agony and pain. But managed to say in the end before disappearing."YOU MIGHT HAVE GOT ME NOW, BUT I WILL BE BACK! THE LEGEND NEVER DIES!"

And so, the land was peaceful again, now that THE LEGEND was erased from the universe.


~Meanwhile in a cave 10.000 km underground~


Tobias and Discord were on the ground laughing their asses off after looking at what happened trough a magic TV.


~THE END~