Spike enjoyed hanging out with all of his friends, and he cherished their time together greatly. That being said, every now and then, Spike needed a bit of time to himself, like today.
Twilight and Starlight had a spa session with Rarity and Fluttershy, so Spike had elected to stay home and catch up on his comics.
Lounging in a beanbag chair with a Power Ponies comic in one hand and another hand reaching into a bowl of gems, Spike was all set for a day of relaxation.
“You won’t get away with this, Mane-iac,” Spike read Masked Matter-Horn’s lines out loud. A piece of amethyst was sticking out of his mouth as he sucked on it like a lollipop. “We got a secret weapon this time! We got…” He hastily turned the page. “A conga line!”
The amethyst fell out of Spike’s wide mouth. “Wait, what?”
Spike quickly sat up, gripping the comic with both of his hands and hastily flipping the page. Sure enough, Spike saw that the Power Ponies were now on their hind legs with their forehooves on each others' flanks. Masked Matter-Horn was in the lead, leading the Power Ponies’ conga line as they strutted around the Mane-iac and her henchponies.
“What the hay is going on?!” Spike muttered, the next pages revealing that the Mane-iac and her henchponies had joined the conga line.
A few pages later, the entire city of Maretropolis seemed to have joined the conga line that spanned at least several city blocks. Ponies that were not in the conga line followed alongside the train of ponies and were shaking what seemed to be cotton candy maracas. Many ponies were also donning all sorts of stuff on their heads ranging from simple party hats to scuba diver helmets. With all the festivities and action going on, it was hard to make out what exactly was going on. It was chaos.
As Spike stared in disbelief at the bizarre scene, his eyes suddenly narrowed when he spotted something, or rather somepony, that stood out.
“Discord!” Spike yelled at the draconequus figure that was hiding away in the back of the conga line.
The comic book promptly leapt out of Spike’s hands and landed on the floor with its pages still open. There was a flash of light, and Discord emerged out of the pages, spinning around while he shook a pair of cotton candy maracas in his hands.
“Why hello there, Spikey Wikey,” Discord greeted, bending over backwards to shove his upside-down face uncomfortably close to Spike.
“You ruined my comic, Discord!” Spike immediately blamed.
“Ruined? Don’t you mean improved?” Discord stood back up and gave another shake of his maracas. “Your Power Ponies always end up winning the day, so I thought I could spice things up a bit.”
“But I like the Power Ponies just the way they are! Change them back!”
“And why would I want to do that?”
“Because I’m the dungeon master for our next Ogres and Oubliettes session.”
“So?”
Spike grinned evilly. “So it would be a shame if Captain Wuzz stumbled upon a pack of rust monsters all by himself.”
Discord’s smirk was wiped clean off his face. After slapping a new, frowning mouth on his face, he let out a huge gasp. “You wouldn’t!”
Spike folded his arms across his chest and looked up at Discord. “Oh, I would.”
“But I just got my daggers enchanted!”
“I’m sure they will make a great snack.”
“But… But…” Seeing that Spike was refusing to budge, Discord sighed and snapped his fingers, causing the Power Ponies comic to flash briefly. “There, your precious comic is back to the way it was.”
Spike picked up his comic. Quickly flipping through the pages, he was happy to see that there was no more conga line. “Thanks for fixing it… even though you were the one who messed it up.”
Discord plucked the comic from Spike’s hands and flung it aside.
“Hey!”
“Fun time is over. Time to get down to business.”
Spike’s eyebrow rose. “Business? What business?”
“You remember Smooze, right?”
Spike stare flattened. “Big green blob that you brought to the last Grand Galloping Gala that almost drowned everypony in its ooze? Yeah, the name sort of rings a bell,” he said with so much sarcasm that would make Twilight proud.
“And one of my good friends!” Discord promptly added.
“Right… So what about him?”
Discord reached around his back with one hand. When his hand came back into view, it was holding a glass jar with a green blob inside it.
Spike’s eyes widened. “Whoa? Is that really him?” At the Grand Galloping Gala, Smooze was roughly the size of Celestia, excluding the period of time when he grew so big that he flooded the whole ballroom. Now, he was the size of Discord’s hand with a tiny, red bow to go along with his reduced stature.
“Indeed it is! Now don’t be rude, Spike. At least say hello to him.”
“Uh, right, sorry.” Spike waved at the miniature slime. “Hey there, Smooze.”
Smooze returned a smile of his own while he bobbed up and down.
“So why is he like this?”
“To make it easier to travel around with him, of course!” Discord answered. “After that whole shindig at the Grand Galloping Gala, I’ve started hanging out with old Smoozie here. I take him to all sorts of places so that we can check out the sights and engage in all sorts of wild fun!” Discord cupped the jar in two hands and brought it up to his face so that he could rub it with his cheek. “Isn’t that right, Smoozie?”
In response, Smooze kissed the glass where Discord’s cheek was.
“Well, glad that you’re making friends. So you just brought Smoozie here to intro—er, reintroduce him to me?”
“Oh, it goes beyond that, my little dragon. You get the honor of hanging out with our pal Smoozie!” Discord proclaimed. With a snap of his fingers, a banner unfurled above him that depicted a crude drawing of Spike and Smooze holding hands, or rather hand and gooey appendage.
Spike blinked. “Say what?”
“You see, Smooze and I were going to spend time together today, but old sunbutt Celestia has asked me to do a job for her. She’s making me go to the somewhere and do the thingy that might or might not mess with the fabric of reality and blah blah blah…” At some point, a sock puppet that looked like Celestia had popped onto Discord’s free hand as he continuously moved its mouth.
Discord took off the sock Celestia and tossed it aside, where it began crawling away on its own. “Anyway, I would have asked Fluttershy to spend time with Smooze in my place, but she’s off on her spa day. Since we’re O&O buddies, you were naturally my second pick.”
Spike scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know, Discord…”
“Need I also remind you that I helped you get into the whole cuddling thing?”
“To be fair, you actually tricked me into it.”
“It’s all about the results.”
Spike sighed. “Look, Discord, I’m just not sure if I’m right for the job. I know that Smooze gets bigger when he eats shiny things, and if you haven’t noticed, this whole castle is made of crystal. I guess I could take him outside, but there’s plenty of stuff out there for him to eat as well. What’s stopping him from making another Grand Galloping Gala incident?”
“Don’t worry about that. Smooze has a lovely suit that he is trying to squeeze into, so he is watching his weight. He shouldn’t be snacking on anything while he’s with you.”
“Uh, really?”
Discord held up the bottle while Smooze made a nodding motion with its whole body.
“Well, I guess that makes things a lot easier. Maybe I could…” Spike paused. “Wait, how long are you going to be gone?”
“Not long. I am the master of chaos and a professional. Do I look like the type of draconequus who would lollygag and get sidetracked?”
“Yes… Yes you do,” Spike flatly answered right away.
“And you would be right!” Discord gleefully pulled out a map that completely hid him from view. “Oooh, I can go there, and there, and there, and can’t miss that, and—”
Spike loudly cleared his throat and shot a glare where Discord was hiding behind the map.
Discord’s head peeked over the top of the map with a bored look. “Party pooper,” he uttered before receding back behind the map. “Oh very well then, I guess I can cut out the side stuff. Let’s see… I guess I could skip that… Go through there… Blow that up… Go down here…” The center of the map opened up like a door as Discord walked through it. “I should be gone for around an hour. Two hours tops.”
“Oh, that’s not too long,” Spike remarked with a nod. “I guess I should be able to watch over Smooze during that time.”
“Splendid!” Discord tossed the jar at Spike, who barely caught it in his hands before it shattered on the floor. “Make sure to take good care of him!”
“I will.”
“Then I’ll see you two later!” With a snap of his fingers, Discord was now wearing a brown aviator jacket with flight goggles on his head. At the same time, the large map rapidly folded itself into a paper airplane.
Getting into his paper aircraft, Discord waved goodbye as the plane took off and somehow squeezed through the window that was smaller than him. “Too doo loo!”
With Discord gone, Spike raised the glass jar to his face and smiled at his guest. “Well then, Smooze, I guess we’re going to be buddies for a bit, huh?”
Smooze bobbed up and down excitedly.
Discord suddenly popped into existence right in front of Spike. “Oh, I forgot one more thing.” He snatched the jar from Spike’s hands, unscrewed the lid, and flipped it over, dropping Smooze onto the floor. “Smooze also needs to stretch his slimy appendages.”
Spike’s eyes bulged as Smooze started to rapidly grow. “W-wait, Discord! I didn’t sign up for this!”
Discord grinned, and his parting words right before he disappeared again chilled Spike right to the core. “No backsies!”
Spike hastily retreated to the wall, keeping a wary eye on Smooze. It did not take long for Smooze to become the same size he was at the Grand Galloping Gala, and Spike was thankful the growth stopped there. He was still worried about the presence of normal-sized Smooze, but at least the castle was not being flooded by green slime.
And that was when Smooze’s attention turned to the bowl of gems on the floor that Spike had been snacking on earlier. With Smooze standing right between him and the gems, Spike watched in horror as the blob inched closer to the bowl and looked down at it. Spike was just about to run out the door when he saw Smooze nudge the bowl away instead.
“Guess Discord was at least right about your diet, huh?” Spike said with a relieved sigh. He promptly clapped a hand over his mouth. “Er, not that I’m saying anything about your weight or anything because you look great… really great. In fact, you’re in terrific shape, or at least, that’s what I assume. I honestly don’t know what a great shape is for an amorphous blob…”
The Smooze stared at Spike, its upper body cocking slightly to the side as though he was saying “What?”
Spike facepalmed. “Yeah, I’m not sure where I was going with that either. Anyway, how about we figure out what we can do for fun while you’re here?”
Smooze immediately perked up with a wide smile.
“But, uh, let’s go to another room. This place is kind of cramped,” Spike urged, hurrying to the door and beckoning Smooze to follow him. It was true that Smooze’s bigger size did make the room a bit cramped, but Spike mainly wanted to keep his stuff slime-free. Even as they moved out of his room, Spike grimaced at the slime trail Smooze left behind.
Spike led Smooze to the entry foyer. He figured that there would be plenty of room for them to do whatever they came up with, and there were not many stuff lying around that could be broken or slimed. As a bonus, if things started to go south, the exit was right there.
‘So, uh, I’m not sure what interests you have,” Spike said to his guest. “Do you have anything in mind? I’ll do whatever you want to do.”
Smooze nodded and moved toward Spike.
“H-hey, getting a bit close there, big guy,” Spike warned, slowly backing away. Seeing that Smooze was still coming at him, Spike whipped around and tried to run.
Spike barely made it a few steps before slime enveloped his back, and he let out a yelp when he was pulled backwards. Ooze crawled across his scales, making him shudder as he was drawn into Smooze.
By the time Spike noticed that he was no longer sinking into Smooze, his entire backside was inside the slime. His ends of his arms and legs were also submerged, barely able to move them. He was trapped in Smooze.
“Come on, Smooze, this isn’t funny,” Spike said with annoyance as he continued to try and struggle out of his gooey prison. Given how he saw Smooze act at the Grand Galloping Gala, he was not too worried. He knew that Smooze was not malicious, and he was also somewhat sure that Discord would not purposely put him in any real danger. “You can let me go now.”
Smooze responded by growing two thick tentacles on its sides and gently lay them across the dragon’s front. The tentacles slid up and down Spike’s belly in a slow, gentle manner.
It took a few moments before something clicked in Spike’s mind. “Wait, are you hugging me?” He could feel Smooze nod in response. “Huh… Well, I guess that’s alright. Just be careful, okay?”
Despite the precarious situation he was in, Spike had to admit that he was not in any actual discomfort. Smooze’s slime was actually around room temperature and it did not stick to his scales. It almost felt like floating in water, except with thicker liquid.
I knew Smooze was pretty handsy, but I never would’ve guessed he’s a hugger, Spike thought as he relaxed into Smooze’s embrace. Wait, is the word handsy or hoovsy? Maybe slimsy for him?
As Spike thought about his vocabulary, he did not notice that he was sinking even further into Smooze until slime began to creep over his vision.
“Wait, don’t—Ack!”
Spike’s world was filled with green when he was pushed into the center of Smooze. He started to frantically struggle out of fear that he would drown, but he stopped when he realized that he was somehow able to breathe inside the slime. He was even more surprised when he realized that the ooze was not going into his mouth or nose. Smooze’s slime either was magical, or it had some sort of air-giving chemicals in it. Either way, it was weird.
“Hello?” Spike uttered, testing to see if he could also talk. His voice sounded heavily muffled in his ears, but apparently Smooze heard him when he hunched over to look at his captive. “You know, you could have at least let me know what you were doing.”
Smooze gave Spike a sheepish smile, and he hunched slightly in a sheepish manner.
“Well, at least I’m safe in here, right?”
Smooze nodded.
“And this is like some sort of Smoozy hug from you?”
A second nod from Smooze.
“And you’re going to keep me here until you had your fill?”
Smooze nodded once again.
Spike tried to shrug, but it was difficult to move inside the slime. “Well, I guess I did say I would do whatever you want to do, so go ahead.”
Smooze made a happy gurgling sound.
Spike relaxed while his body slowly bobbed up and down in the goo. He guessed that Smooze did not really get many hugs, and his cuddling spree had taught him the importance of hugging.
Spike blinked. Wait, is this actually a cuddling? It is, isn’t it?
Relaxing even more, Spike allowed Smooze to have his way with him. It was not as if he was uncomfortable. In fact, it was pretty pleasant being stuck in Smooze. Weird, but enjoyable. He was sitting in a relatively comfortable temperature, and there was no unpleasant sticky sensation on his scales.
Sure, his movements were sluggish, and there were a few odd feelings since he was being cuddled in places that probably should not be cuddled, but for the most part, Spike was having a good enough time.
More notably, the slime constantly shifted all around him. He felt like his entire body was being caressed and rubbed all at the same time. It was a bit of an overload on his senses, but he definitely could feel a pleasant tingle reverberating through him.
Spike was unsure how much time had passed, but Smooze had remained in the entry foyer the entire time, content on giving Spike his slimy cuddling. Eventually, Spike heard hoofsteps coming from the other side of the front doors, and shortly afterwards, the doors opened to reveal Twilight and Starlight.
“Spike?!” Twilight cried out when she laid eyes on her assistant.
“Uh, hey, girls,” Spike greeted, his hand slowly moving up in the goo as he tried to wave. “I’m actually fine in here.”
“I’ll save you, Spike!” Starlight proclaimed, clearly not able to hear Spike through Smooze. Her horn glowed while it readied a spell.
“No, wait, Smooze is resistant to magic,” Twilight informed, placing a hoof on Starlight’s shoulder.
Starlight’s horn stopped glowing. “Smooze? What’s a Smooze?”
“Discord’s friend.” Twilight sighed. “Look, he’s not actually dangerous. More like a messy houseguest. Still, we have to get Spike out of there. I’ll go get Fluttershy. She might know what to do.”
“No need there, Twilight,” Spike heard Discord’s voice right before something clamped down on his head. With one powerful tug, he was lifted upwards and backwards, breaking free of Smooze and left hanging in the air.
After taking a gulp of fresh, slime-free air, Spike’s eyes glanced up to see that a plunger was stuck to his head. The plunger was attached to a fishing pole which was being held by a grinning Discord. Looking over his body, he was surprised to see that he only had a few splotches of slime on him that were easily brushed away.
“So Spike, did you have fun cuddling with Smooze?” Discord asked, making the plunger and fishing pole disappear in a flash of light and dropping Spike to his feet.
Spike glanced at Smooze, and he received a wave from a slimy appendage. He smiled. “It was actually pretty nice. Different, but nice.”
Discord nodded happily. “Good! I’ve been telling Smooze here all about your fondness of cuddling. Now, I admit that I might have embellished things a bit, but Smooze was really taken with the idea. In fact, he wanted to try it out himself.”
“Yeah, I saw and felt that,” Spike dryly replied. “Why not just tell me you were setting me up with a cuddling date? It would’ve made things less awkward.”
Discord’s grin grew even wider. “And where would the fun in that be? Especially when it’s—Drum roll, please.” A second Discord popped up behind him, giving the requested drum roll on a drum set. After a few seconds of anticipation, the main Discord yelled out, “April Fools!”
Spike, Twilight, and Starlight all stared deadpan at the draconequus as a shower of confetti rained down.
“Discord, it’s March thirty-first,” Starlight pointed out, her deadpan face still remaining.
Discord blinked. He pulled out a calculator with one hand and started punching numbers with his other hand. He also counted fingers on a third hand that grew out of his side that had dozens of fingers on it, while a fourth hand was writing stuff down on a floating clipboard. After a few moments of calculating, all of Discord’s props and extra arms disappeared.
“My bad,” Discord uttered, smirking unapologetically.
Spike, Twilight, and Starlight all rolled their eyes.
“Well, now that Smooze has had his fun and Fluttershy is done with her spa, I do believe it’s time for tea!” Discord teleported in front of the door and held it open. “Come along, Smooze!”
Spike sighed as Discord exited the castle with Smooze. “Well, at least Discord won’t be pranking me tomorrow.”
Discord suddenly appeared in front of Spike and patted his head. “Oh, don’t you worry, Spikey Wikey. I already have a new idea waiting for you tomorrow. Ta-ta!” And then Discord was gone again.
“Twilight?”
“Yes, Spike?”
“Can we turn Discord back into a statue?”