//------------------------------// // 3. Express(o) Yourself // Story: Her Royal Morning Coffee // by Georg //------------------------------// Her Royal Morning Coffee Express(o) Yourself One of the advantages of express pegasus letter delivery was the ability to get a response to a letter back the same day, even if it was not quite the answer Dry Roast was looking for. Perky, See you tomorrow mid morning Bud Needless to say, his sleep that afternoon was fitful, with the strange sense of being watched, even after he got up in the middle of the night to lock the front door.  After all, Rain Check was not due back from training for a day or two, and worst case, his little brother could just fly in through his own bedroom window.  It seemed like forever before his alarm went off and his day could start with at least a semblance of normality.  Routine relaxed him a tiny bit, and after a quick shower, he took his morning walk across town with a brisk stride. A brisk walk next to the Everfree Forest took all that warm sense of relaxation away very quickly. It felt a little as if the watching eyes all belonged to monsters who were deciding just exactly where to have their nighttime picnic, and which haunch of pony they were going to get.  At least when Dry Roast got to his coffee shop, the sensation of being on the menu faded into the background, drowned out by the happy sound of the roaster roasting, the water boiling, and the first set of pastries sliding into the oven. Unfortunately, the sensation was replaced by a much more powerful sense of looming dread, and showed itself by a guilty twitch in the direction of the closed front door with every noise or imagined noise.  He could not even open a book or polish the equipment while waiting for the other shoe to drop, and by the time the front door dinged with Applejack’s entry, Dry Roast was a poorly concealed nervous wreck. Of course, the way she entered the building did not help. The door only cracked open far enough for the bell to quietly ding before Applejack poked her nose in the narrow opening with her hat held over her eyes as if to prevent seeing some indiscreet princess-on-percolator-pony action. “Psst,” she hissed.  “You alone, Dry?” “Of course I’m alone,” snapped Dry Roast, yanking a large foam cup off the stack with his magic. “Just didn’t want to interrupt you an’ Twi,” she explained, taking a quick peek around the concealing hat to make sure there were no princesses hiding in plain sight despite Dry’s assurances. “Coffee,” simmered Dry as he poured, not even bothering to put the surreptitious half-squirt of apple syrup into the bottom of the foam cup as he had been doing for several weeks now.  “Black.” “Thought I might try somethin’ a little different today.”  The apple farmer fidgeted, much like a foal who needed to use the bathroom before something terrible happened.  She looked around, up at the menu and over the equipment, never once meeting Dry Roast’s irritated gaze.  “Like one of them Prench coffees you done made for Twilight.” Dry Roast sat the brimming cup of black coffee on the counter and put the lid on it while trying to control his temper.  “AJ, why are you doing this?  You aren’t any good at lying.” Applejack let out her breath in a huff and grabbed the coffee, sitting right down on the floor and poking in the little plastic cutout so she could blow on the contents to cool them rather than talk.  In contrast, Dry Roast simply stood behind the counter and glared, fully aware that Applejack was not about to leave without paying for her purchase.  The standoff lasted far longer than he expected, until Applejack’s patience broke like a dry twig. “Dagnabbit, Dry!  This is got me all twisted up inside.  If’n you been sneaking around with Twilight, it’s not too bad a thing, since you seem to be an alright colt and all that, particularly with the checking that Rarity done did on… Nevermind.  Anyhow, Twi’s a grown princess now, and if she wants to see you, that’s all right with me, but the two of you sneaking around in the dark like this still ain’t right.” “We’re not sneaking—” The bell above the door rang again and Dry nearly jumped out of his shoes, hyperventilating until he managed to look at his newest non-royal customer.  “Rarity!  Thank heavens.” Applejack scrambled to her hooves, still holding onto her untasted coffee.  “Hiya, Rares.  Dry and I was just talking about Twi.” Rarity, who was completely done up without a hair out of place, raised one perfect eyebrow.  “Really?”  She glided to the counter, put in her normal order for a half-sweet white mocha frappuccino, and placed a small pile of bits in front of her while Dry Roast worked the coffee equipment. “Mister Roast,” she stated in an apologetic tone, “I would like to beg your forgiveness for insinuating that you were engaged in some sort of illicit romantic relationship with my friend, Princess Twilight.  I took a single hair out of place and built an entire fantasy world out of it.  Can you ever forgive me?” A wave of relief washed over Dry Roast at the thought of being able to emerge from this disaster unscathed.  “Of course!” he babbled.  “It could happen to anypony.” “You’re not angry with me?”  Rarity batted her eyelashes, making Dry Roast’s heart give a little flutter and his babbling continued. “No, of course not.  It was a harmless mistake.  No harm at all.” “Oh, I’m so relieved,” said Rarity with a deep sigh.  “I’m going to go up to the castle and apologize to Twilight right away.  Could you mix me up a coffee for her too?” “Sure!”  The familiar motions of blending Twilight’s most common order flowed along with his growing sense of released tension, culminating in the moment he placed the immense foam container next to the considerably smaller frappuccino and looked up into Rarity’s smiling face. He froze, much the same as a rabbit would freeze when the shadow of a hawk swept over it. “That’s durned sneaky, Rares.”  Applejack was trying her best to look insulted at the implied lie and failing badly, but Rarity continued her look of guileless innocence while placing a second larger pile of bits down on the counter. “I have no idea what you could possibly mean, darling.  Ta!”  She strolled out of the coffee shop with the two mismatched foam cups floating beside her, leaving behind a significant silence, which took Applejack nearly a minute to break. “So?” Dry Roast swallowed once to wet his parched throat and tried his best to look Applejack in the eyes.  “I have the right to remain silent.” Applejack shook her head.  “But apparently not the ability.” ~ ~ ☕ ~ ~ The rest of the morning was pure torture, one drip of coffee at a time.  Every time the bell over the door rang, he twitched, sometimes waking up from a startlingly realistic daydream of just exactly what was going to happen when the metaphorical water hit the hot plate.  Once, he even jerked into full wakefulness with the sudden certainty that Princess Celestia had just walked through the front door, but it was just Derpy caught in somepony’s clothesline again and covered with colorful socks. Even though the morning temp employees were taking up the slack, Dry Roast was a nervous wreck by the time his big brother came sauntering through the front door of the coffee shop.  Two shots of hazelnut and a dollop of creme on a plain coffee later, he had the little earth pony tucked away into a side booth, as far away from any other customer as possible. “Hey, Stringbean.”  Balanced Budget took a long sip of his coffee and eyed his little brother from top to bottom.  “No hoofcuffs, I see.  Probation or work release?” “Get serious, Bud,” hissed Dry Roast as quiet as he could.  “Please.” The guileless expression on the undersized earth pony only made his older brother look more like an innocent little teenager than ever.  Over the years, it had led to more than a few attempts by larger ponies to take advantage of his supposed naivete while getting properly fleeced in return.  Some had even thanked him for the lesson later.  Now that he was a lawyer, they paid him out the nose for the privilege.  “I’m always serious,” protested Balanced Budget with one hoof held across his chest. “You put a frog down the back of your wife’s dress during your wedding,” countered Dry Roast. “She was being too serious.”  Balanced Budget pushed his coffee to one side and leaned both forelegs against the table, much like a little colt who needed a booster seat to bring him up higher.  “Now tell me what’s up or I’ll go get a frog.” “Just what I told you in the letter.”  Dry Roast took a deep breath, feeling oddly comforted by his older brother’s presence even though he was only half his size.  “I think I’m going to be arrested for assault.  I think.  I don’t know.” The carefree smile vanished from Bud’s face.  “You are serious.  I thought this was some weird way of telling me you were getting married.” “No!” yelped Dry Roast with a panicked look around the coffee shop.  Lowering his voice again, he added, “Heavens, I hope not.  I’m in danger of being accused of assault, and I need a lawyer.  You.” Bud frowned.  “Look, I’m a financial specialist.  There’s gotta be a better criminal lawyer to represent you around town somewhere.” “Ponyville is a very small town.  It has one legal representative other than Princess Twilight.” “Great.”  Balanced Budget cheered up.  “She’s a princess.  She’s perfect for your defense.  Juries love a princess.” “No!” hissed Dry Roast again.  “Are you crazy?” Bud shrugged.  “Well, use the other pony, then.” Dry Roast closed his eyes and took a breath to calm down.  “Jailbird is currently serving a sentence in the Ponyville jail.  He gets out every day on work release, but I’m not sure I want him as a lawyer.  He likes it in jail.”  Dry paused for a moment to think.  “Besides, I’m not sure he even passed the bar.” “Oh.  Well, has the victim sworn out a statement as to…”  Bud stopped as if a critical flaw in the plan had become obvious.  “Wait a second.  What did you actually do, anyway?” Dry Roast cringed, looking all around the coffee shop to make sure he was not being eavesdropped on.  He lowered his voice to a bare whisper and leaned close to his big brother.  “Kissing.” “Kissing?” “Yes.” Bud waited for a short period before asking, “And that’s all?” Dry Roast lowered his head until he could touch the table with his horn.  “Yes.” There was a quiet slurp while Balanced Budget took a drink of coffee.  “So you kissed this mare—” “Actually, she kissed me.” “Really?”  There was a note of unwelcome levity in Bud’s voice, making Dry Roast give him a suspicious glare from his position on the table, and glare even harder when he asked, “How many times?” “Um…  Several times.”  Dry searched his brain for a number that would not sound guilty by association, and finally admitted, “I lost count.” “Uh-huh.”  Balanced Budget took another, much longer drink of coffee.  “So this mare… It was a mare, right?”  At Dry Roast’s acidic glare, he continued, “So this mare actually kissed my little brother.  Repeatedly.  Any other signs of insanity we can use in the trial?” “She’s not crazy,” said Dry, even while thinking of several incidents around town that might counter that assertion.  “She’s….focused.  Really focused.” “And she focused on you.”  Bud shook his head.  “Hm.  That’s as far as it went though, right?” Dry nodded. “Good,” murmured Bud.  “So when did this happen?” “Um… A couple of times this month.  Four times in the month before that.  About eighteen or nineteen before that, but it was a fairly stressful month, I suppose.  Skipped most of the month before that except for weekends, and—” “Okay, okay.”  Bud waved a hoof and frowned.  “Slow down, Cassa Nova.  When did this smooching start?” “The kissing?  A little over a year ago, but she’s been coming by the shop for coffee over two years now.  It’s been getting more… intense lately, I suppose.  Practice, I guess.  And… um… other things,” added Dry, trying not to mention Tirek and the giant crater outside of town that had been dubbed Lake Don’t Mess With Twilight. “A year.”  Bud let out a deep sigh and dug a notebook out of his saddlebag.  After writing notes for a while, he looked up.  “Any witnesses to any of the events?” Dry shook his head. “So he said, she said, and consensual for over a year,” he muttered around the pencil while writing.  “You don’t have anything to worry about, bro.” “Yes I do,” hissed Dry Roast, looking around the room again.  “She’s… important.” Bud chuckled around his pencil.  “Important, in Ponyville?  Right.  Who did you assault, Princess Twilight?” There was a very long silence, broken when the pencil fell out of Bud’s mouth. “No,” he said. “No!” hissed Dry Roast, before swallowing once and adding, “Not really?” There was a very long silence, but at least Balanced Budget looked like he was taking the situation seriously for once in his life.  Unfortunately, he looked as if he were taking it seriously enough to leave Equestria and change his name. Finally, Bud moved.  He scooped up his notepad, dropped it into his saddlebag, and drained his coffee in one gulp.  “Let’s go.  If we take the next train to Canterlot and you fling yourself down in front of Princess Celestia’s hooves to beg for mercy, she may just throw you into prison for the rest of your life.” “I don’t know.”  Dry Roast stayed put, although he picked up his brother’s empty foam cup and started to wipe down the table with his towel.  “I had this horrible feeling that she was going to come by the store this morning, maybe have a sunflower spice latte or something.”  He paused, tapping the empty cup against the table.  “She’s got to know.  She knows everything, and she comes by Ponyville a lot.  She could—” The bell over the front door dinged and Dry Roast nearly broke his neck whirling to look at the incoming customer, who thankfully for his heart, was just an ordinary pegasus mare with a pink mane. “Don’t sweat it,” said Bud in a casual manner that did not quite conceal his own worry.  “That’s just something she does.  She can’t possibly know.  Heck, you just barely know.  I don’t even know, and I’ve been sitting here with you for ten minutes now.” “Accessory after the fact,” said Dry, much the same way he had attempted to blame his brother when they were much younger. Bud held a hoof across his chest.  “Lawyer.  Anything you’ve told me is strictly confidential under lawyer-client privilege.”  He paused for a moment, suddenly looking less confident.  “I’ll go buy your train ticket to Canterlot.  You better go by yourself.” “Chicken.” “Heck, yes,” admitted Bud.  “A couple of the guys in the firm have met Princess Celestia before.  They say it’s like being dosed with Truth Serum and shoved into a clothes wringer.  If you’ve been—” Bud lowered his voice and looked around “—playing tonsil hockey with the newest princess…”  The short earth pony cut off with a perplexed expression.  “Wait a minute.  If you two have been playing kissy-face, discounting how my squirrely little brother managed to get Royal face time, why are you so worried?” Dry Roast took a long, slow breath. “Do you remember how I used to sleepwalk when I was a colt?” “Yeah.”  Bud paused, looking pensive.  “Wait a sec.  You’re trying to tell me that you’ve been sleepwalking into her castle bedroom?” “Yes.  Wait, NO!” added Dry in a rush.  “Oh, heavens no I hope not oh fudge I’m going to have to hoofcuff myself to the bed now.” Patient as ever, Bud waited until his little brother ran out of steam.  “So you expect me to believe Princess Twilight Sparkle sleepwalks into your store?” Dry Roast nodded. “Kisses you.” Dry nodded again, only slower, and added, “Sometimes.” “And only kisses you,” clarified Balanced Budget. “Absolutely,” said Dry.  “No more.  Nothing else.  Nothing.  Other than coffee.” “And she doesn’t remember?” It was an important point, and although the possibility existed, it seemed highly unlikely, particularly after Twilight Sparkle’s visit to the coffee shop yesterday.  “I don’t think she does,” he hedged. It took a while for Bud to think, but in the end, he gave a reassuring nod.  “Okay, if what you said is true, even though it sounds impossible, legally, you’re fine.” A wave of stress flowed off Dry Roast’s shoulders, and he gave out a relieved, “Whew.” “And royally screwed,” continued Bud. “What?” “Do I need to write you a brief?  Remember when you were sleepwalking as a colt?  Something inside your pea-like brain wanted to go out and play in the sandbox.  I caught you a few times wandering around the house.  You used to talk while you were staggering around, even though you made no sense at all.  A sliver of your brain was functioning and driving you toward something you wanted, but the rest was shut down.  If Princess Twilight is staggering into your store to kiss you—” “She also buys coffee during every trip,” added Dry Roast quickly.  “Always.  Every time.” “Okay, to buy coffee and kiss you. Something in her brain wants both of those things.” “She always buys coffee,” repeated Dry in an attempt to drive away unwelcome thoughts of prison and chains.  “The kiss is optional.”  He paused, counting in his head.  “Until lately.”  After another pause to consider the words, he added, “So her brain wants me?” Bud settled back down on his chair and shook his head.  “Ten thousand eligible mares in the world, all of them smarter than my brother, and one of them smarter than him even when she’s asleep.  Look.  There are four adult alicorns in the world.  One is taken, two have the sex lives of monks, and Twilight Sparkle.  The application line even to date her stretches around the block, and rumor has it Princess Celestia has a golden stamp labeled ‘Not Nearly Good Enough’ to hammer down on every application or applicant who comes into the castle.  Princess Celestia loves her like a daughter, Princess Luna was saved from Nightmare Moon by her, Princess Cadence used to fillysit her, for crying out loud.  Not to mention her overprotective big brother.  Anypony with a male chromosome who even talks to her gets a little visit from the Royal Guard to check out their background and any unpaid tax bills they might have.” “You know this how?” asked Dry.  The list seemed far longer than the one he had developed in his own mind, and a little more specific than expected. Bud shrugged again.  “Remember the junior partner in the firm I told you about?  The real stallion about town?  Guess who thought he would send in a dating application on a whim?  Got the whole firm audited, spent two weeks talking to Royal Guards, and that’s not counting the physical exam.  A complete physical exam.”  Bud rubbed his hornless forehead.  “The smartest thing you could do right now is to march right up to Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle and confess.  No, scratch that idea.  The whole town would see you and might get ideas.” “The whole town knows already, courtesy of Pinkie Pie.”  Dry Roast licked his lips and chose his words with care.  “What I really need is a messenger of some sort, like a lawyer.” “Oh, no.”  Bud recoiled and eyed the door as if he would have fled if not for his larger little brother in the way.  “I diapered your buns when you were little, and I’m not picking up your poop anymore.” As much as Dry did not want to admit it, his big brother had a point.  “How about if I send you as a messenger to get a messenger?” ~ ~ ☕ ~ ~ “Let me get this straight,” said Rarity.  She was sitting at the same back table of the coffee house with Dry and Bud now that the lunch rush was in full swing and the temp staff was busy enough not to pay them any attention, but Rarity did not look as pleased as Dry expected.  “My friend has been sleepwalking.” “Yes,” admitted Dry Roast. “To your store.” “Yes.” “And ordering coffee in her sleep.” “Yes.” “And engaging in…affectionate actions afterward.” Dry Roast shuffled uncomfortably.  “Occasionally.”  In the resulting silence, he fidgeted some more before adding, “Yes.  But just kissing.  That’s all.” Rarity leaned forward until their horns nearly touched, her brilliant blue eyes seeming to pin him to the chair.  “And you didn’t tell me?” “Yes.  I mean no.  I mean… what?” Using one hoof to flick a curl of her mane back, Rarity rolled her eyes.  “Yesterday, I went to Twilight’s castle and had the most awkward meeting of my life with my best friend, where I told her I knew about her love affair with a handsome young colt, and proceeded to attempt to wheedle out the naughty details of an affair she doesn’t even know about?”  The perfectly coiffed unicorn huffed in exaggerated aggravation.  “Now you expect me to go back, after I’ve embarrassed myself far more than any time in my life and tell her she doesn’t remember her torrid affair because she’s been sleepwalking?” It seemed to be a question which fairly demanded an answer, so Dry hesitantly put forward, “Yes?” Rarity leaned forward again with a cruel sparkle in her eyes that he did not like, and fairly breathed her next words. “You owe me.” Dry Roast swallowed.  “If you can get me out of this without me getting hung up by my unmentionables, I’ll buy your coffee every single morning for the rest of your life.” The mischievous sparkle in her eyes flattened into a dry glare.  “Unmentionables?” “Errr…”  Dry’s impending panic was calmed by the smooth voice of his big brother stepping in. “Young lady, I would like to extend an apology on behalf of my client and little brother.  He’s an idiot.” Dry Roast nodded. After a long, evaluating pause, Rarity shook her head.  “No, I’m not going to do it.” “What?” wheezed Dry through a suddenly dry throat. “You dug this hole yourself, so you’re going to have to get out of it by yourself.”  Rarity ended her pronouncement with a sharp downward jab of her horn. “But you just said—” “Never mind what I said before.”  Rarity straightened up and attempted to look down her nose at Dry Roast, which did not work very well since he was still taller than she was.  “I shall convince my good friend to visit your establishment this afternoon and sit right where we are now, but you owe a full explanation to her from your own lips.”  She smirked.  “Who knows, maybe she’ll want to try them out when she’s awake.” Bud spoke up abruptly.  “As your legal representative, I would advise you to take this offer, Dry.  That is, unless you like the idea of the Royal Guard dragging you out of your shop by your tail and throwing you in prison.” Rarity seemed to think the idea was humorous, and laughed lightly.  “The Royal Guard would never…  Well, now that Shining Armor is in the Crystal Empire, I don’t think they would…”  She stopped and considered Dry Roast with a contemplative frown.  “Let’s just get Twilight and loverboy here together and see what happens afterward, shall we?” ~ ~ ☕ ~ ~ The afternoon was almost over and closing time for the coffee shop was quite near, but every single seat and bench was filled, with a line of ponies in front of the counter waiting for their turn and several other ponies just standing around with their purchases.  They were all innocent ponies, pretending not to know what each of them was there for and all watching Dry like he was some sort of performing monkey, just waiting for the organ grinder to start the music. Or at least it felt that way to Dry. The cheerful little bell over the door dinged, revealing Rarity and Princess Twilight Sparkle both standing just outside, obviously startled at the size of the crowd. Said crowd looked at the two new customers.  Perhaps a photo or two was taken. Both of the new customers stared back, then the more royal of the two turned on her heel and stalked off in the direction of her castle, with Rarity trotting behind and starting to apologize just as fast as she could talk. Dry Roast glared at all of the suddenly embarrassed customers.  “Out!” he snapped.  “We’re closed.” Lyra held up her foam cup.  “Refill?” “OUT!” he repeated.  “Show’s over.  Out, out, out!” ~ ~ ☕ ~ ~ After a brief store cleaning that was probably more vigorous than necessary, Dry Roast stalked out on the next step of his afternoon routine by taking the few scattered leftover pastries to Sugarcube Corner.  He wanted to stay angry at the way the rest of the town was taking such great entertainment value in his embarrassment, but staying angry when Pinkie Pie bounced into the room was impossible. “Hi, Dry!” announced Pinkie with a giggle.  “That joke never gets old.” “Hi, Pinkie.  Brought over the leftovers.”  He floated over the box and Pinkie Pie looked inside. “Thanks!  Not much today, I guess. We’ll have to use some of our leftover donuts for the Meals on Wheels deliveries tonight. So, how did your makeup makeout session with Twilight go?” “What?” Pinkie Pie bubbled onward regardless of the consequences.  “At the coffee shop, but you know the best makeout sessions don’t happen at the store unless you have your bedroom at the store which I do but I don’t makeout during work but Twilight’s always at work and sometimes we don’t think she makes out at all and is going to wind up an old mare with a bunch of cats or dragons maybe if Spike ever finds his special somedragon or somepony but we’re not supposed to talk about that so what happened with you and Twilight this afternoon?” Dry Roast had to take a moment to translate.  “She stopped by the shop and left.” “I knew that already,” said Pinkie with a giggle.  “What about between?” “There wasn’t a between.”  Dry motioned with a hoof.  “She showed up.  Opened the door.  Looked at all of the ponies crammed into the store until there almost wasn’t enough space to stand.  And left.” “Oopsies!”  Pinkie Pie held a hoof to her mouth.  “I may have possibly told a few ponies about your meeting with Twilight.” If it had been any pony other than Pinkie Pie, Dry Roast would not have put a hoof over his eyes.  It still did not help as much as he thought it would.  “How many ponies in Ponyville did you not tell about our meeting this afternoon, Pinkie?” “That’s easy!” bubbled Pinkie.  “There’s…”  She paused and looked up at the ceiling.  “You.” “Yeah, I thought so.” ~ ~ ☕ ~ ~ Skipping the gym for the second afternoon in a row, Dry Roast saw his older brother off to the train station, picked up his mail, and managed to make it inside his house without interference. And after due consideration, locked the door.  After all, if his younger brother got to their shared home early from his management training seminar, he could fly in through his own bedroom window. After sorting through the box of library books again, Dry picked out a book on corporate mergers under the assumption there would not be any unwelcome company-on-company romantic scenes in it while he was trying to relax and unwind after a very stressful day.  He made a quick sandwich, strolled out onto the balcony, and settled down in his favorite recliner in order to resume his relaxation attempt. Even compared to a normal Ponyville afternoon, it was beautiful outside.  All kinds of birds were chirping in the nearby trees, a few squirrels were playing tag, and butterflies drifted by on the fresh breeze.  Even the insects were not bothering him, which bothered him after a while of listening to the chatter and chirps of nature. Finally, he got up off the recliner and peeked over the edge of the roof, where he found himself looking into the startled teal eyes of Ponyville’s most famous animal caretaker. “Fluttershy,” he started cautiously.  “Really?” As expected, the shy pegasus cringed away, making Dry Roast feel as if he had just committed some terrible crime.  Still, it was his roof, and Dry returned to the recliner and his reading. Now it was too quiet. He went back and peeked back over the roof edge again, only to find that despite her original retreat, Fluttershy had returned to nearly her original observation position. “I’m sorry for shouting at you,” said Dry Roast in just as polite a tone as he could muster. “You didn’t shout,” whispered Fluttershy.  “You just talked.  I’m sorry for intruding—” “But you were just worried about your friend,” finished Dry.  “Yes, I know.  I’ve heard it before.”  He suddenly perked up, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.  “I know what can help.  I need to talk to Twilight somewhere the rest of the town won’t see.  How about if I go to your hou—” “No.”  Fluttershy fidgeted, but looked very sincere despite a growing blush.  “I can’t have you out to my house, because if you’re Twilight’s coltfriend, that could be considered naughty.” After due consideration on how deep a hole he could get into if every critter in Ponyville thought he was doing something bad to Fluttershy, he hesitantly asked, “Is there anywhere else I could go to meet with her on neutral ground?” ~ ~ ☕ ~ ~ “Me and my big mouth.”  Dry Roast looked down the dark path leading into the Everfree Forest and considered just how much he really wanted to have a meeting with Princess Twilight Sparkle to get the situation under control before…  His eyes traveled unconsciously to the side, looking up the towering slopes of Mount Canter and the shining city where Princess Celestia ruled over all of Equestria, including small little shop owners who might possibly cause her former student any mental grief. He walked forward, down the dark trail and on the way to Zecora’s house.