//------------------------------// // 15 - This Heart, Trapped in Chitin // Story: The Bug in the Herd // by Skijarama //------------------------------// When Chrysalis awoke the following morning, she found herself refusing to open her eyes for several minutes, wishing with everything in her that she was back on Tone’s couch or that hotel in Baltimare. She didn’t want to open her eyes and see the cave she had hidden herself away in. She didn’t want to remember how her own cowardice and stupidity had gotten Tone Shift hurt. She didn’t want to face the day that could possibly bring her news that he hadn’t made it. A draft passed through the cave at about the same time a drop of moisture fell from the top of the cave and hit her on her neck. With a tired sigh, she opened her eyes and got up. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, painting the world in a soft orange glow that was magnified slightly by a thin cloud of mist blanketing the area. This weather wouldn’t be the same in Ponyville, she knew. She hadn’t noticed the small stream running by the entrance of the cave, trickling and flowing gently downhill towards one of the small lakes or ponds around Ponyville. Stepping toward it hesitantly, she gazed into her reflection. Even as broken up by the ripples as it was, the despair and exhaustion on her face was apparent in the water. She closed her eyes to think. “Tone Shift was hurt because I chose to run away from him… from my fear.” she opened her eyes, a new resolve appearing in them. “I won’t run anymore. If the cost of cowardice is so high, then I won’t pay again.” She turned a hard look in the direction she knew Ponyville to be and set off, shifting into the form of some random pegasus stallion. She could cover more ground and hopefully evade suspicion this way. With a scowl, Chrysalis lifted into the air on her fake wings and set off as fast they could carry her for Ponyville. *        *        *        *        *        *        * Upon her arrival, Chrysalis had been rather surprised to see everything so calm. Twilight had no doubt let everypony know that the former Changeling Queen was in the area, and yet the town seemed as tranquil and peaceful as ever. She didn’t let her guard down, though, moving casually through the streets while keeping her wits about her until Tone’s house came into view. A pang of guilt shot through her, but she ignored it for now. She hid next to the house, waiting for anypony in the area to be out of earshot or eyeshot. When she was sure she was safe, she slid back into the disguise of Wildwood Luster and teleported into Tone’s house. As the reverberations of the spell’s sound faded into the silence within the residence, Chrysalis stood still, eyes turned down. With a wince, she shifted back into her true self before looking around. It was almost exactly the same as it had been when she left. Almost nothing was disturbed… Save for the photograph on the floor, looking like it had been dropped unceremoniously, the note she had left for Tone Shift on the floor next to it. Levitating the note to her face, Chrysalis felt a rush of first guilt and then anger, her face twisting into a self depreciating scowl as the letter burned into cinders in an instant. “Fool…” she snarled at herself before turning her gaze to the photo. In her magic, she slowly brought it up to her face, her anger swiftly giving way to remorse. She had looked so happy, even though she had been forcing her smile that day. Tone was truly happy in the picture anypony could see that. Wth a shudder, Chrysalis replaced the photo on the table exactly where it should be before lifting a hoof to touch her chest, feeling her heart beating underneath. “...If this heart trapped in chitin could not feel love for so long, then why now? Why him?” Chrysalis whispered to herself, hoping for something to answer her in a way that made sense. “What was it about him that makes me feel so terrible for getting him hurt? What was it that made me want him safe?” She pulled her hoof away from her chest and gazed at it as if she no longer knew who she was. Truthfully, she was beginning to wonder if she even could recognize herself at all. “And what was it about me that made him care so much? What was it that made him fall in love with me before he even knew it?!” her voice began to rise in volume, shaking more and more as she continued before falling silent. “...What made me return the feeling?” she whispered before sitting down on her haunches, closing her eyes and trying to think. It seemed like hours she spent in her own mind, trying to piece together a puzzle with no pieces and no consistent logic. Finally, though, as she began to give up on figuring it out, it just… clicked. Her eyes snapped open as she let out a small, quiet gasp. How naive was she? She had lived for centuries and fed on love for her entire life. She was sustained by it and yet she understood it only as food. She didn’t ever look at it as an emotion or a feeling beyond a satisfying decrease in hunger. She had fed on the emotion for hundreds of years. And now she understood. Love didn’t subscribe to logic or common sense. It was one of, if not the most powerful emotion ponies can feel. It drives ponies to do things that would otherwise be seen as insane or stupid for the pony they loved. It was the reason Cadance and Shining Armor had been able to restore their own magic so easily and blast Chrysalis and her entire army out of Canterlot. Now that she felt it, she understood why. It didn’t have to make sense; it simply was. “...Fine.” Chrysalis said with half a smirk starting to appear on her face. “I don’t need to understand. Not right now.” She turned for the door and changed back into Luster, her face turning to a frown as she steeled herself. This was going to be the most insane thing she ever tried to do. With a deep breath to prepare herself, Chrysalis stepped forward and pushed the door of the house open. Her destination was the hospital, where Tone Shift would be. I’m coming Tone Shift… I will put things right, I swear. *        *        *        *        *        *        * Luster kept her eyes dead ahead as the hospital seemed to get bigger and more intimidating the closer she became. Her fears could go buck themselves. She had a job to do and she was going to do it. With another deep breath to calm her mind, Luster gently pushed open the door to the entrance lobby. The mare behind the receptionist counter glanced up and gave a friendly, practiced smile. “Hello. What can I do for you?” “I’m here to visit somepony.” Luster said simply, coming to a stop at the counter and looking at the mare seriously. “Okay, then. Who are you here to see?” “Tone Shift.” The mare bit her lip as soon as she heard that. “Oh...I’m very sorry, miss, but he’s not receiving visitors right now, and-” “I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s… kinda my fault he's here at all. I have to make up for my mistakes.” Luster said, her eyes lowering and some of her guilt slipping into her voice. The mare looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well… what’s your relation to him?” “I’m... “ Luster looked down for a moment, closing her eyes to say it. “...Just somepony that cares about him more than I thought possible.” “What’s your name?” “Wildwood Luster.” The mare’s ears instantly shot up, her eyes widening for a moment before she cleared her throat. “Oh, really? In that case, follow me. I’ll take you to him.” Luster looked at the mare incredulously. “Huh? Just like that?” “It’s fine, miss. Wildwood Luster is labeled as a pony allowed to see him at any time, so long as the doctors aren’t working on him.” The mare said with an almost knowing smile before stepping out from behind the desk. “Follow me, please.” Luster was understandably confused, instantly raising her guard. She complied, though, following the mare through a set of doors and through the building. They were on the second floor when they came to Tone’s room. The mare paused and put a hoof to Luster’s shoulder before she entered. “I should probably warn you, miss Luster. Tone Shift is… not in good shape. He’s stable, but… well… it’s not a pleasant sight. Brace yourself.” She said gently but firmly, earning a solemn nod from Luster before the mare stepped back to let Luster in. With one last deep breath, Luster placed a hoof on the door and gently pushed it open. The sight that awaited her within was… breathtaking. Tone Shift was covered in countless places by bandages and stitches presumably where the doctors had closed off incisions after opening him up to remove shards and splinters of his broken bones. His foreleg was hooked up to an IV, and numerous other contraptions and devices were hooked up to him and keeping him alive, monitoring his heart rate. His broken hind leg was in a cast and rested at a slight angle above him, held up and tied to hold it still. “Take as long as you need…” The mare said softly, closing the door behind Luster to give her some privacy. Luster didn’t even notice. Her ears were flat against her head, hear breath caught in her throat and her eyes misting up. Wordlessly, she slowly approached the bed, every step of her hooves sounding like a thunderclap in the otherwise mostly silent room. The beeping of the heart monitor was unheard. Tone’s face was scrunched in a look of discomfort, a bandage wrapping over his left eye. Luster sat down next to the bed before shedding her disguise. She didn’t care anymore. Let them see her… “Hi, Tone…” she said weakly in a choked voice, reaching a hoof out to touch his own. “I… I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner… sneaking through ponyville isn’t exactly easy… I made it without problems, though, and now I’m here…” she bit back a sob. “I… I’m so sorry, Tone Shift. I messed up so badly… I got you hurt because I ran away… I was a coward… I should have stayed… but I didn’t, you came after me, you found me fighting that damn Ursa, you gave me strength, but got hurt yourself and now-” she couldn’t keep going. The emotions were becoming too much to talk through. She closed her eyes and sniffled, struggling to hold back her tears. “I’m just so sorry, Tone Shift… I’m so sorry… please forgive me…” she couldn’t take it anymore. Chrysalis rested her face against her forelegs on the side of the bed, crying openly as it all came spilling out. It felt like an eternity that she just sat there, crying helplessly next to him. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at his unmoving form. She sat upright, her face going blank as she focused. “...no more…” Her horn began to glow with magic. “No more hiding.” A soft, green glow began to envelop Tone Shift’s body/ “No more disguises.” The heart monitor began to beep faster as she set her spell into motion. “No more running.” Beneath the bandages and flesh, Chrysalis felt that his bones had been put back into place. They were just waiting for a doctor trained in healing magic, it seemed… “No more lying. No lying to you… no lying to them… and especially no lying to myself.” The spell went off, the room filling with a bright green light, the beeping reaching a climax before starting to return to normal speeds. Chrysalis closed her eyes and alarmed voices could be heard outside the door, drawing closer. “It’s time for me to be honest.” The door clicked and swung open. Chrysalis barely even glanced towards the door, her face unchanging. “Hello… Queen Chrysalis.” The new arrival said, closing the door behind her. Chrysalis didn’t reply as Princess Twilight Sparkle came to stand on the other side of the bed, looking at her in the eye with a serious expression. “We have some things to discuss.”