Gilda could hear knocking.
Slowly sitting up, it took Gilda several seconds to realize it was too early. She checked her alarm clock and found, to her surprise, it was six in the morning.
She always woke up at six-thirty. Dawn.
Why was it before dawn?
The knocking returned. Swearing profusely as she stood, Gilda stumbled from towards the entrance to the system of caverns she and her detestable roommates inhabited. Arriving at the front door she took a second to check herself as the knocking continued. Flattening her feathers and tucking her wings, she let out a breath and opened the door.
“ IT IS SIX IN THE DISCORD-DAMNED MORNING!” she screamed, her voice shaking dirt from the ceiling. In the distance animals panicked, waking and fleeing for their half-conscious lives. And the grey mail pegasus that had been knocking was sent flying back against the ground, dropping the package she had been holding. “ Oh, oh, sorry.” said Gilda, realizing what she’d yelled at. “ Sorry, it’s just kinda early.”
“ Um....okay.” said the mail-mare, sitting up. Her eyes were rolling around in their sockets like she’d taken a blow to the brain and there was a blush on her cheeks. “ Ooh, wow, my heart is beating - you were so loud my whole body was vibrating!.”
“ Uh, yeah, sorry.” said Gilda, slapping her wings tight against her back. The little mailmare was lying sprawled out, her wings flared and throat defenseless as she tried to recover and -
Gilda desperately thought of the most unsexy earth pony she’d ever seen. The last thing she wanted to do was become aroused and get a wingboner in front of the mailmare....
“ Okay, um, right, I had a package for you, Ms. Griffon! I, um, kinda lost it - oop! There it is!”
She got up and trotted over, then bent over to pick it up. A bead of sweat ran down Gilda’s cheek as her eyes scoured every inch of that luscious flank and those downy, downy wings.....
“ So, I’ll just need you to sign right here!” The mailmare had a wide smile on her face as she trotted over and set the package in front of Gilda, the produced a clipboard. WHen she looked to Gilda, her eyes went wide.
“ Sorry, sorry, morning wings.” said Gilda, blushing as she slapped her wings down. “ Um, do you have a pen?”
“ Y-yes!” said the mailmare, blushing as she reached into her pouch and drew out a pen with her mouth. And then turned to Gilda held it out cutely, her eyes wide and blush on her cheeks.
Gilda had to be dreaming. She saw a twitch in the mailmares wings, only reinforcing the belief - but she couldn’t risk it. She slowly extended her neck and took the other end of the pen in her beak. The mailmare gently let go. Gilda hastily sighed the form - it was hard to write with her beak, but she did - and reached back out with the pen.
“ So, if you two kiss, won’t the pen be in the way?”
Gilda shrieked. The mailmare jumped backwards, noting the presence of the three Diamond Dogs at the same time Gilda did.
“ Naw, that’d be stupid - she’ll spit it out and they’ll start tonguing.” said Spot, eating some popcorn. “ Oh, and thanks for getting a microwave, Gilda.”
“ YOU’RE WELCOME.” said Gilda, her face livid but voice torrential. “ DON’T YOU THREE HAVE SOMEWHERE ELSE TO BE?”
“ Nope.” said Fido, lying on his tummy with his head held in his hands, like a young filly watching a romantic movie. “ So what’s with your wings?”
“ I-I’ll just go now.” said the mailmare, quickly taking the clipboard and pen back. “ Uh, um, see you next week at class!”
“ W-wait!” said Gilda, turning and reaching out. But the mailmare was gone, flapping off above the trees.
“ Aww.” sighed Fido, looking disappointed. “ I wanted to see them get lovey-dovey.”
Gilda’s head turned one hundred and eighty degrees to face them. Her eyes were bloodshot.
“ I am going to murder every one of you.”
====================
Two hours of pummeling, scratching, biting, and competitive bitch-tossing later, Gilda sat down in the living room. The Diamond Dogs were, tragically, stout creatures. This had let her vent a little more than average but denied her the catharsis of homicide. Steven Magnet was seeing to their wounds, putting band-aids on the scratches and kissing their boo-boos.
Whatever. Gilda had more important things on her mind.
The previous night, just after ruining the life of one pink-colored earth mare, she’d been given a tutorial on claw-craft knitted creations. Spike had been a surprisingly skilled knitter, but had explained as a cold blooded creature, it was a survival skill for him. He’d shown her how to use her claws as needles, building around the largest and moving outwards, and then how to use her hindclaws to aid in the process. It wasn’t the most dignified technique - to use all four limbs one had to lay on their back and hold the yarn above them.
When Spike had demonstrated, even Gilda had admitted he was cute - he was like a cat playing with string. But then he’d fashioned a scarf in three minutes. Gilda knew it would be a while until she got that good, but knew it’d be worth it.
This was only partially because she was part-feline and found playing with string fun. But it was admittedly a part.
Sitting on her sofa, Gilda started with only two paws. She was going to try the most simple exercise from the class first - a little single-strand bracelet. She began, immediately finding the success that had eluded her the previous afternoon. Her first loop was flawless and the second came quickly. Her mouth twitched to a smile despite herself.
She started to imagine flying around the Everfree, a scarf flying in the wind as she chased the winds. Eventually, more interesting prey caught her eye - a pretty pegasus, her blonde tail flowing like the air as she flew around a hillside. She dived, soundlessly drifting above the mare. With a sudden movement she caught her and spun her, the helpless ponies face lit with surprise as Gilda aerialy pounced her, but her features softened as she recognized and submitted to Gilda, letting herself be drawn into a deep kiss - OW.
Shaking out of her fantasy and fanning herself with her wings a few times, as it’d become a little warm in the cave, she found she’d tangled her claws while her train of thought drifted. Her work had been getting steadily sloppier too - the last five loops were practically a squiggle.
Sighing, she unraveled a short distance and set back to work.
She tried to imagine something else, thinking of the gloves she was going to work on. She imagined them as black, with a red ring at the end of each finger where she left a hole for her claws. That would hide any blood drops that splashed on while hunting. She wondered if that would work, or if she’d have to take the gloved off every time she plucked a fish from a river or gave a mailmares flank a pinch -
“ Thats it, this isn’t going to work.” she sighed, putting down the nearly completed bracelet. Her libido was out of control and she needed to work off some energy before she could focus. “ Hey, touch my yarn and I’ll gut you.” she said to the Diamond Dogs, who glared at her as she stalked out of the cave.
A few moments after she was gone, they looked to each other.
“ So, who’s gonna pee on it?”
=============
Gilda dove, streaking towards the earth. She pulled up at the last second, skimming along the surface of the Everfree river, the specks of freezing water biting against her feathers as she went. She pulled up and flapped hard, regaining altitude as the cold wind buffeted her.
She felt great.
She’d been flying for an hour, giving herself the best workout she could. She’d found her energy seemingly limitless today, her muscles taunt and wings tireless. She slowed, going into a stall and letting gravity take her for a second. The wind died as she entered that state between flight and falling and she let out a contented groan.
As she fell she flapped again, then burst though a cloudbank into the oncoming afternoon weather.
She’d pay for this later. Her muscles were going to ache, but it was a good ache. She skimmed the white clouds, tracing them with her frigid claws, the the golden light of the sun dancing off the silver mists. She needed the ache, the feeling of exhaustion, the feeling of having used every ounce of her being.
Or, she’d needed a pegasus and a cigarette. But that plan had been foiled.
She couldn’t help but think back to that mailmare. She’d been interested in Gilda - flattered, even, if Gilda knew how to read ponies. Surprised that someone was interested in her - it had been written in the blush and in her eyes. She was a little past her youth, definitely Christmas Cake, but not old enough to be without options.
Gilda regretted her shout, hoping that it hadn’t hurt her chances.
Gilda knew she had a problem. She’d known since she was a cub - pegaphilia wasn’t a unheard of thing for griffons. But for most it was a fetish or a phase. Gilda had it bad. She wasn’t very interested in other griffons. She liked her species, but it was as family and friend - and griffons, being apex predators, tended to live a long way from each other. About the only times they met in more than small groups were for mating seasons and the Equestria Beakball Cup.
Both times were basically the same two weeks. Gilda smirked a little - even she admitted it was a heck of a party.
Gilda began to glide back towards the surface. There was a certain loneliness to being a pegaphile. Most pegasi were, predictably, only interested in other ponies. Gilda understood that. But it didn’t change the fact that Gilda lusted for them and she could only rarely find one even interested in a date.
As she came upon a large, soft looking cloud, Gilda sighed. She supposed it was her own fault. It wasn’t like every cloud had a pegasi preening themselves on it, who would look up with dew eyes and speak her name with a quavering voice.....
And then she saw it. The mailmare from earlier, her satchel discarded nearby, lying on her side on the cloud, her muzzle buried in one wing as she tenderly nipped at the feathers, moaning as she pulled the loose down from them. She sighed and leaned back, her freshly-tended wings flared. Her eyes opened as she looked up, going wide and focusing as she saw the stunned Gilda.
“ M-Ms. G-griffon.” she said.
It wasn't her name, but it was close enough.
======================
“ Woo.”
Gilda took a puff on the cigar the mailmare had given her as she lounged on the cloud, luxuriating in the moment as the pegaus curled against her, radiating warmth.
“ Woo, that was....that was that.” sighed the mailmare, her tone as unfocused as her eyes. “ It’s....been a while.”
“ I could tell - we were both pretty hard up.” said Gilda with a chuckle. “ Couldn’t help but notice you’re a mother.”
“ O-oh.” said the mailmare, blushing. Gilda found it adorable. “ I-I guess you were...pretty...um....”
“ Thorough.” chuckled Gilda, scratching the mare on the cheek. She shuddered at the touch - Gilda was wondering if she could get a third go. The mailmare had seemed like puddle of jelly after the first time, but a few well placed scratched and a little nip to the ear.... “ Not been dating much since then?”
“ It’s been a long couple of years, but I thought I’d focus on my little filly.” said the mailmare. “ But it’s been a little too long. I needed....someone. I-I don’t know if this...if I can make this more than just a one time thing....”
“ Don’t worry.” said Gilda, holding the mare close. She almost laughed evilly as she felt the mare melt again. “ Your little filly won’t ever know this happened and I’m sure she wouldn’t want mommy to be unhappy.”
“ Ooh, thank you, my big sweet birdy.” giggled the mailmare. “ Dinky’s the sweetest little thing and the light of my life, but sometimes, I need a little vacation. Just the other day she was practicing some basic spells - “
Gilda’s eyes went wide.
“ - and she tried levitating one of the dressers. I knew it was too much and tried to stop her, but I couldn’t before - “
“ Hold on, magic?” asked Gilda, pulling away from the mailmare. “ Your foals a unicorn?”
“ Um, yes.” said the mailmare, looking confused. “ It was a surprise to me too! Her poppa was an earth pony-”
Gilda glanced to the mailmares flank. She’d been beak deep in that flank. So had the genitalia of a earth pony. She felt herself began to hyperventilate as her stomach churned.
“ Sorrygottago!” she shrieked, turning and racing off the side of the cloud. Gilda didn’t stop until she cannonballed back into her cave, racing past the guilty looking Diamond Dogs. She raced into the bathroom and found Trixe was drying her mane - one good toss and the enraged unicorn had been thrown outside. Gilda dove into the shower and turned it on, then curled into a little ball.
She’d had her mouth where an earth ponies wing-wang had been.
She didn’t think she’d ever feel clean again.
==================
Four hours of showering and scrubbing later, Gilda threw back her eighth shot of whiskey, the liquid burn doing her two favors - disinfecting any leftover earth pony cooties and numbing her throat.
She then sat back on the couch, her body screaming at her.
It’d been a long day. She’d beat herself up exercising and used everything she had left to use a mailmare most grievously - then done it again at double the pace. She was spent, physically and mentally. She needed to relax.
She had the perfect thing for it.
As she picked up the yarn and already-started bracelet, she set to knitting. This time, there were no distractions. There was nothing holding her back - in fact, her body and her mind were pushing her to focus. Soon, the yarn was pushing everything out of her mind.
She was knitting. Loop. Loop. Loop. And done. She snipped the yarn off and tied the end, finishing her bracelet.
She looked at it with widening eyes.
For the first time this whole plan didn’t seem like a waste of time. Some of the endorphins she hadn’t used up carnally leaked into her brain, eliciting a milder, but still fulfilling joy. She put the bracelet on, admiring it - it was a simple purple ring, but it was the first thing that wasn’t a meat-based meal that she’d made in ages.
And then she heard the Diamond Dogs laughing.
“....you peed on my stuff, didn’t you.” she sighed. Rovers laughs got louder, signifying she was right. “ Fine, whatever, good one. Rents due a week early this month.”
They stopped laughing pretty quickly.
After a trip to the garbage to throw away her yarns - she couldn’t trust any of them now - and a trip to her restroom to disinfect her arms again, Gilda couldn’t help but yawn. She was tired. She’d been through the gamut today and her body demanded that she collapse.
Deciding it would be silly to fight her own bodies advice, she stumbled into her cave and slammed herself into bed, falling asleep within seconds and dreaming of mailmares that were pure as the driven snow.
=====================
Dinky was in shock.
When she’d arrived home from school, she’d imagined that her mother might still be a little upset about the levitation accident from the previous day, but nothing more. She’d trotted in, ready to talk about her day and then go to dinner with her moms friends like they usually did.
Instead, she found her mother in the kitchen, a half-drained bottle of the “adult grape juice” next to her while she sobbed into her hooves. She’d tried to comfort her mother, by she’d said “ Sometimes mommy needs to cry, muffin. Sometimes mommy needs to cry.” She looked strange - her mane was messy and there were a few scratches on her neck and flank, like she’d been attacked by a hawk while flying - that had happened before, but not put her into such a state.
She finally accepted that her mother needed to be alone and went upstairs to her room. She got almost all the way up when a figure burst from the darkness.
“ Ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhssshshhh.” whispered a mares voice. Dinky found that the pink-coated mare from the local candy shop was standing there, a hoof pressed to Dinky’s mouth so she couldn’t talk. “ Don’t say a word. Don’t even think a word. The police are looking for me - they might notice if you’ve been talking or thinking to me.”
Dinky noticed that, unlike when she usually saw this mare, there was a crazy gleam to her eyes. Her mane was strangely limp and she had a cackle to her voice.
“ See, I know who hurt your mommy.” said the mare. Dinky gasped, but she was still silenced. “ That big baddie-waddie hurt me too. And she hurt poor little Spikey-wikey. Don’t think! I’ll think for you. I’m going to get this baddie-waddie back, but I need some help. Will you do what I want? When I want it? Will you do whatever I tell you to?”
Dinky’s eyes went wide.
==================
“ Thats a fine daughter you’ve got there.” said the Captain of the Equestrian Guard, nodding to where Dinky Doo sat talking with a psychologist. He, the foals mother, and several other guards were outside of the Doo residence where a dangerous mental patient had just been apprehended. “ Most foals don’t realize when they need to turn to an adult.”
“ My little muffin’s wonderful.” said the tired looking mare, the smell of wine still evident on her breath. “ I didn’t even know she’d mastered the hog-tying spell! She’s such a smart little filly.”
“ Mrs. Doo, I have to ask.” said the Captain, looking over the scratches on the pegaus. “ Did....were you attacked? Before your daughter came downstairs and woke you?”
“ N-no.” said the mare, shrinking a little. “ I-I...um....” Her voice lowered and she leaned over towards the guard. “ I...I had....a-an encounter....with a griffon today.”
The Captain’s eyes went wide.
“ Um, Mrs. Doo, I should let you know.” said the Captain, leading her a short way from Dinky so they wouldn’t be overheard. “ If you were...if you are having relations with this griffon - “
“ It was a one time thing.” said the mare quickly. “ I-it just sort of happened.”
“ Well, the mental patient that we apprehended....she’s obsessed over a griffon. We think she might be stalking the griffon and those who know her as part of some sort of wacky revenge scheme.”
“ O-oh!” said the mailmares askance eyes, lighting up with realization. ‘ S-she had a reaction to earth ponies! I-I mentioned one and she fled for her life!”
“....this might be worse than we thought.” said the Captain with a sigh. “ It sounds like the griffons been attacked. Who knows how long this has been going - you wouldn’t happen to know where we can find her?”
“ I know exactly! I delivered a package to her this morning!”
The Captain smiled. “ Well, ma’am, we’ll be back in the morning. Now that we’ve got the prisoner in custody there’s no hurry, but we’d like you to take us to see this griffon tomorrow - so we can get the full story. Will you and your daughter need anything tonight?”
Glancing over to her daughter, the mare smiled. “ No, we’ll be fine.”
Smiling now that his duty was done, the Captain of the Guard turned to walk the mailmare back to her home. It filled him with pride to know that even in a world with monsters like Pinkamena Diane Pie, the good creatures of Equestria could band together to help each other.
========
For reasons Gilda didn’t know, she began to chuckle in her sleep.