I snorted. "Goddess?" I began, "Hardly. I prefer Gadget."
"OH, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, O' GREAT GADGET OF THE HEAVENS ABOVE!"
"Helloooo?" I asked, knocking my hoof on his head, "Anybody home?"
"ALL YE WHO SHAN'T REPENT SHALL BE BURNT IN THE PIT OF DOOM!"
Yeah, he's a goner. I wonder when the paramedics will arrive to take him to the crazy house? After all, he went from this big ol' Macho Guy type of person, who wanted to rape me, to this quivering pile of flesh that's currently worshipping me as their new goddess.
I grinned. "Tell me," I said, "Where is your god now?"
The man sniffed, wiping the wet streaks from his face. "Y-you, O' Great One."
I shrugged. "Wrong!" I answered, pointing directly at his chest, "You have control over yourself. You are the one who makes all your decisions."
"So... I am god?" he stammered weakly, still kneeling before me.
I shrugged again. "Beats me. If you're a god, then why am I holding you in your own basement?"
"Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh..."
"Exactly. Now, tell me what you were planning to do to me when you first saw me?"
"I don't believe that you'd like to hear, O' Great One."
Fair enough. I already know that this guy wanted to *ahem* raise my tail and all. But to be fair, I did lure him in a way. But technically, this just counts as being an undercover cop to catch all the bad guys!
The man stood back up, still visibly shaken from the whole 'I'm actually a phoenix' gag that I pulled off earlier. Now that I think of it, it's starting to get a bit tiring keeping this get-up running smoothly. What should I do next?... Meh, I'll just be myself... wait, I did that already.
Ooh! I'll just be him!
Poof!
"Ayyyyyy" I hollered, raising my now visibly gruff arms, "Huggies!"
I began to advance towards him, watching as his eyes grew to pinpricks as he attempted to squirm his way out of the situation.
"P-please! No!" He wailed as he backed into the stairwell door, "Forgive me!"
Even though it was pretty awkward for me, and terrifying for him, I proceeded to hug him, and using my 'magic', I squeezed him in a bear hug until the police came.
Wheeee! Back to the lab in the party bus!