\\**//CLICK\\**//
\\**//FEEDBACK\\**//
\\**//STATIC\\**//
**bang**bang**pish**spish**bzzt**bzzt**
Gah! **inequine wail**
**thud**thud**sliding hoofsteps**
**panting breath**
**cough**
This might be a bad time to mention I hate guns. This wasn’t the–
**bang**bang**bang**bang**pish**spish**pish**spish**
–thing I wanted to talk about. I was trotting along about to just make a recording to update my progress when.
**bzzt**bzzt**bzzt**bzzt****bang**bang**bang**bang**pish**spish**pish**spish**
That began to happen.
(Unknown pony) **at a distance** Did you get it?
(Unknown pony 2) **at a distance** I don’t know. Those zombie things freak me the fuck out. What the hey are they?
(Unknown pony) **at a distance** Star Paladin String Bean says they are an after effect of the megaspell. Either way they are abominations that need to be put down. We have to keep this place no matter what.
I’m not a Zombie! I’m just a mare looking for her sister!
(Unknown pony) **at a distance** What? It speaks?! The others didn’t speak!
(Unknown pony 2) **at a distance** It doesn't matter, Star Paladin's orders! And your sister isn’t here.
I just need a pipbuck! I don’t want to fight.
(unknown pony 2) **at a distance** Not gonna happen zombie! Time for the bigger guns.
**click**click**click**clunk**
I JUST WANT MY TO FIND MY SISTER **voice breaks into an inequine wail**sound of a rush of gas being released**
(unknown pony and unknown pony 2) **at a distance** **pained yells quickly changing to gargled bubbles**
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
What?
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
What just happened?
I–
I just breathed out that pink littlehorn stuff. That shouldn’t be possible. Should it?
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
**deep breath in**deep breath out**
Um, well, whatever it was I can’t do it again. Not sure if that is good or bad. **sigh** well let's get that pipbuck.
\\**//STATIC\\**//
\\**//FEEDBACK\\**//
\\**//STATIC\\**//
Well, this is an interesting change of pace. I get to head any specialized test I want. I should have done away with Cortex weeks ago. Well, that wasn’t my intent of the test of Luna’s Tears, I’d have preferred it been a successful test.
Anyways, I’ve had some tests run on Screwy-brain after she withstood a mega dose of Celestia’s Tears. I found a strange hormone in her blood. My scientists say it it chemically similar to Green-Med’s failed drug Cortexaphan. I’ve elected to call it Cortexamine. They say it somehow accelerates her body's natural healing. If we could replicate the effect it–
(Unknown pony) **a distance away and moving closer** Miss Pie, you can’t go back there.
(Pinkie Pie) **a distance away and moving closer*** Oh can’t I? I am a ministry mare. There are bad ponies here!
(Unknown pony) We don’t have a warrant!
(Pinkie Pie) I don’t need a warrant when there are bad ponies ahoof. I am the Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Moral!
(Unknown pony) Miss Pie, please. Not when you're on your **clears throat** medication.
(Pinkie Pie) I don’t need a foal sitter! I am a foal sitter, I’m good at it too. Ask Pound and Pumpkin.
Can I help you Ministry Mare?
(Pinkie Pie) Yes, you are a bad pony. Denying Shoeshine visitation!
Miss Ministry Mare, I assure you I did nothing of the sort.
(Pinkie Pie) You gave her barely 10 min. And refused to give her more!
We are a mental institution, as Screwloose’s doctor I thought it unwise to have much exposure to her sister until treatment was done.
(Pinkie Pie) Liar! **stomp** GAaaaah! Achy tooth! That’s a new one. Screwloose? Give me that!
(Vial) Wha–hey! Give that back! Is she sane, you do know this is a mental hospital. We’d be more than happy to take in a ministry mare. Discreetly of course.
(Unknown pony) Believe me, I wish you could, but Luna would have my head.
Shshshshshsh I need to have a conversation here.
(Vial) With my recorder?
Yes, shshsh. No, no, no! This part plays while she is unconscious. Wait a second.
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
(in the present, Screwloose) What is equestria? Who is unconscious?
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) You silly, though this clip does play twice so this is likely time 2 for you.
(in the present, Screwloose) Uuuh. Are we actually talking to each other?
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) Yes.
(in the present, Screwloose) But isn't this a native recording?
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) Yes. You ask a lot of questions. I’m here talking to a recorder, you are also there talking to the same recorder in the future. It is just busted enough to allow a conversation.
(in the present, Screwloose) This a natural occurrence?
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) For me, yeah it happens when I take Mint-als.
(in the past, Unknown Pony) Well the cat's out of the bag now.
(in the past, Vial) Well now isn’t that interesting.
(in the present, Screwloose) Wait, I could tell you what happens, you could stop the meg–
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) Ah ah ah **bad Braytten accent** spoilers. **regular voice** There are things beyond my control.
(in the present, Screwloose) Wait, you sent Minuette to meet me in Canterlot?
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) I did? Oh, I guess I will. Gah! Oh no, I’m sorry for what you’ll have to do when you return to her. **sniffle** I’ll be sure a pipbuck is available for you in Manehattan.
(in the present, Screwloose) What will I have to do? Pinkie?
(in the past, Pinkie Pie) You just need to stay strong Screwy. You and your sister will meet again. I know it. Just hang in there.
(in the present, Screwloose) Could you at least arrest Vial and stop my suffering back then?
\\**//SILENCE\\**//
(Unknown pony) Dr. Vail, was it?
(Vial) Uh, yes.
(Unknown pony) I’d appreciate if you’d keep a lid on Miss Pie’s drug usage.
(Vial) Why of course, as long as I can continue doing what I’m doing here. Unimpeded by the MoM.
(Unknown pony) **sigh** You’ll have nothing to worry about. Pinkie, give the nice doctor back his recorder.
Like I said Screwy, there are things out of my control. I’m sorry. I wish I could do more, but my hooves are tied. He has to keep this recording too, no deleting it.
(Vial) Wouldn't dream of it, Miss Ministry Mare.
**receding footsteps**
(Pinkie Pie) **a distance away** When we get back, have my memory of this visit erased, but first give the following orders to Minny. **voice fades**
\\**//STATIC\\**//
\\**//FEEDBACK\\**//
\\**//STATIC\\**//
What just happened?
\\**//FEEDBACK\\**//
\\**//CLICK\\**//