As I walked out into the schoolyard and warm sunlight just after three, I found the usual group of parents and guardians gathered outside. With the bell still ringing shrilly, the foals all scampered off to their families. As a teacher, you naturally get to know pretty much all the parents, and a fair bit of the local gossip too. At this point, I know pretty much all of them by sight and could rattle off a few little facts and the odd rumour about each.
However, today there was an exception. Typically, Apple Bloom gets picked up by her big sister, Applejack, or occasionally Granny Smith. Today it was neither of them that I saw waiting patiently outside. Instead it was Big Macintosh, or Big Mac as most ponies call him.
He’s a pretty large, deep red, or maroon coloured earth pony, with a small orange coloured mane and tail. His cutie mark is that of a large green apple. And while Applejack has her trademark Stetson hat, Big Mac almost never seems to go anywhere without the large yoke he has draped around his neck.
I’ll say that I know of him. I’ve met him a few times when he was running the Apple’s stand at the market, and of course, I know he and Cheerilee have an on again off again relationship. However, I can’t say that I know him particularly well. He’s quite a quiet fellow; doesn’t really say too much when I talk to him, maybe a little shy too. Still, he’s a decent enough pony. He’s Applejack’s older brother by a few years and, with the exception of the princesses, one of the largest ponies I’ve come across. He’s actually almost eye level with me and stands far above most ponies’ heads, even topping the likes of Shining Armor. Little Apple Bloom looked even smaller than usual as she bounded up to him.
Between you and me though, I can guess why he might be quiet from time to time. After all, for a fair while he had to do practically all the work of the farm himself. And that was in addition to looking after both his little sisters. He is nothing if not a hard worker and known for his exceptional strength, even by the standards of earth ponies.
But for all his labours and triumphs in the face of adversity, the poor stallion does at times get overshadowed by his little sister, Applejack. After all, along with Twilight, she’s saved Equestria from certain destruction more than once. She helped free Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon, defeated Discord, helped defend both Canterlot and the Crystal Empire when they were attacked, and was even partly responsible for Tirek’s re imprisonment. Perhaps understandably then, Apple Bloom looks up to her older sister more than she does her older brother. And then there’s my own son too, who seems to always take on some paternal characteristics around her. In short, the quiet red stallion rarely finds himself in the limelight.
“Hey, big brother!” Apple Bloom greeted as she bounded up to him. The gentle giant leaned down to softly nuzzle her. I walked over to the pair.
“Hello there, Big Mac,” I greeted kindly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Usually it’s Applejack who picks Apple Bloom up. Is she busy at the farm or something?”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac replied. While I know he is quite intelligent and in some areas a damn sight smarter than Applejack, he tends to stick to a somewhat limited vocabulary unless pushed. At times he can be like Father Stone. I then turned to Apple Bloom.
“Oh, Apple Bloom, I almost forgot,” I said, remembering the small flyer in my hand. “I meant to give you a sign-up sheet for the Sisterhooves Social next week. I’m guessing you and Applejack will be competing again?” Apple Bloom grinned excitedly and took the flyer from me.
“You bet, Mrs. Owen,” she replied. “Me and AJ are gonna take home first this year for sure!”
I almost missed the expression that briefly passed across Big Mac’s face, being too focused on the little filly. It only appeared for a moment; something like a mix of annoyance and regret. Still, as I’ve already shown, the stallion is hardly one to speak his mind. I let the pair go and headed off to hand out flyers to other parents and foals.
Ah, yes, the Sisterhooves Social. It’s sort of like a little sports day, but only for sisters, as the name implies. Applejack and Apple Bloom take part; it was actually hosted on the farm last time, so do Rarity and Sweetie Belle, along with Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash. The rule about both competitors being sisters is somewhat loose as I understand it.
I wouldn’t mind trying it with Lizzie if I were a bit younger. Hell, if Bones was a girl it would be a good opportunity for them to bond without killing each other. In that way I suppose, it is a little bit excluding. But it’s all in good fun really, and the event always draws a sizeable crowd. I’d certainly be heading to watch it all when it rolled around. Cheerilee and I had even volunteered to help set things up at the course.
That weekend found me fairly busy helping to set up the course. It was actually quite a complex thing, being a load of different competitions all thrown together in one big race. I was busy helping out at home believe it or not. One of the little contests was a pie eating one, in addition to refreshments for the spectators, and I was pitching in, alongside Granny Smith and Pinkie Pie, and had spent all the morning baking pies in batches.
I pride myself on being a good cook, at least when it comes to cakes, pies and the like. After all, as my mother once told me ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to appear on Bake-off or anything, but I can hold my own. At this point, all the kitchen worktops were either covered by cooling pies, fresh ingredients, or just flour to stop the pastry from sticking. It was pretty warm too. I’d got all the windows open, but since Equestria has yet to develop an extractor fan, it was still plenty hot. But above it all was the smell of freshly baked pies. It was quite a pleasant smell, and at least one other pony seemed to agree. Having apparently picked up the scent through the open window, I’d earlier discovered a light blue pegasus stallion sitting outside my kitchen window salivating like nobody’s business. I ended up having to chase him off with a broom.
By early afternoon, I’d done more than my fair share, and headed out to take them all to Sugarcube Corner. They’d be stored there until the next day in the Cakes larger store rooms and fridges. I planned to take them along in small batches, but as I stepped outside with the first lot, I spotted a potential ally.
“Blade Star!” I called out to my son, catching his attention.
Like me, he looked to be helping out setting things up for the Sisterhooves Social. Behind him, he was hauling a small wagon filled with hay bales, presumably to line the course. He looked a little down, but perked up when he heard me call out.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” he replied, stopping on his way. “You helpin’ out with the Sisterhooves Social too?” Grabbing a few of the pies I walked over to him.
“Yes, Pinkie’s had me cooking all morning for the pie eating contest.” At this, he laughed.
“I heard from RD that you had to chase Soarin off.” My brain sparked.
“Soarin?” I exclaimed. “As in the Wonderbolt? He was that pegasus drooling in my front garden?” It did seem a little far-fetched that I had something of a celebrity at my door. This just made Blade Star laugh again.
“Hah, yeah, it was accordin’ to Rainbow. The guy’s crazy over pies; swings by Sweet Apple Acres almost every month. Ah guess y’all might be takin’ our business.” He then gestured to the wagon he was pulling.
“C’mon, throw a few of those pies on the hay bales. Ah’m headin’ past Sugarcube Corner anyways.” I did as he suggested, and grabbed a few more myself and the two of us set off together.
“So are Applejack and Apple Bloom practicing for tomorrow then?” I asked as we walked. At this, Bones frowned again and shook his head.
“No, there’s a mite bit of bad news ‘bout that,” he replied. “’Bout twenty minutes ago, AJ’s cutie mark started glowin’. She and Rarity have had to head up to Manehatten for somethin’; friendship problem. So AB’s gonna have to sit this one out, Sweetie Belle too.”
“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that.” I said. Apple Bloom had been looking forward to it. She always seems to enjoy spending time with her big sister, given how much she looks up to her.
“So what’s happening now then,” I asked. “You and Big Mac left to hold the fort?” Again Bones nodded.
“Say, speaking off Big Macintosh, ya ain’t seen him have ya?” I shook my head.
“No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday at the school. Why?”
“It’s the strangest thing,” he replied. “AB got mighty upset when Applejack had to leave, but Mac just headed off, didn’t tell me where he was goin’ neither.” That did sound out of character for Big Mac. Usually, he was the protective and caring older brother, and it was odd that he should make Bones step up to the plate.
“Well, if I see him I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.” I said as we came up to Sugarcube Corner.
“Thanks, Mom,” Bones replied. “Ah’m just a little worried ‘bout him is all. He’s been awful quiet these past couple days; more so than usual.”
The two of us parted as we reached Sugarcube Corner, with me going inside to see Pinkie Pie, and my son heading on to the course.
Heading inside, I saw Pinkie working behind the counter. She literally bounced up to me as I walked in.
“Hey there, Margaret,” she greeted, taking a few of the pies off me. “Ooh, they're super delicious!”
“Hi Pinkie,” I replied. “I sure hope so. As much as I enjoy cooking I don’t fancy cooking up another batch today.” At this, Pinkie grinned.
“Well, there’s one way to find out for sure.” And without another word, she dived headfirst into one of the pies, emerging not ten seconds later, with pie crumbs and filling all over her face, and the plate clean as a whistle.
“Yep, they’re definitely delicious.” she declared. I shook my head, chalking it up to Pinkie’s naturally eccentric nature.
The two of us headed into the kitchen behind the front of the shop, which was filling up fast with pies from the Cakes’ own oven. Combined with all the ones I’d spent the morning cooking, there had to be around two dozen all together.
“Goodness, do we really need all these pies, Pinkie?” I asked, surprised. Pinkie nodded.
“Uh huh,” she accented. We need pies for the contest, refreshments for everypony, and the decoy pies.”
“Er…decoy pies?” I asked rather curiously. Pinkie nodded again.
“Yeah, otherwise Soarin eats all of them.” she answered, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. I’d just figured that was a one off. I changed the subject.
“Say Pinkie, you haven’t seen Big Mac around today have you?” I asked. “I ran into Blade Star earlier, and he was looking for him.” Pinkie paused in her work and thought, putting and a hoof to her chin and drew a bubble pipe from somewhere, setting it in her mouth, all with a very serious and thoughtful look on her face.
“Hmm, I do remember seeing him a little earlier,” she said. “I think he was going into that fancy dress shop off Stirrup Street.”
That sounded a little odd. Nightmare Night was still a ways off yet. And why else would a pony like Big Macintosh need to go into a fancy dress shop? Bones was right; that pony was acting very strangely.
Still, there wasn’t much I could do about it right now. So, thanking Pinkie for her help, I headed back to fetch the other batches of my ‘decoy’ pies.
The day for the Sisterhooves Social soon rolled around, and I found myself sitting in the stands with Roger as well as Lizzie. She’d spent most of yesterday working with Rainbow and the other members of the Weather Patrol to ensure that the weather was clear today. It would do nopony any good if the whole thing got rained on after all.
The teams had all been milling around the crowd since things got underway. And I was surprised to see Apple Bloom’s name on the teams’ sign-up sheet. After all, hadn’t Blade Star told me that Applejack had been sent off to Manehatten for a day or two? Who could she be racing with?
Glancing around, I soon picked out the large pink ribbon that the filly was almost always wearing. She was surrounded by a small knot of chattering ponies, along with Bones and what seemed to be a mare I didn’t recognise.
“Say, who’s that with Apple Bloom?” I asked my daughter. Lizzie shook her head.
“I don’t know, Mam.” she replied, seeming to be just as perplexed as I was. I tried my husband.
“Roger, do you know?” He shook his head.
“Not a clue, darling.” I frowned and, getting up from my spot in the stands, made my way back down to go and mingle among the crowd. I was rather curious to see just who Apple Bloom had got. Did she have some other sister I didn’t know about? Or perhaps she had a step-sister or half-sister. I wasn’t prepared for what I found.
Making my way through the crowd, I came across a decidedly uncomfortably looking Bones. His cheeks were blushing furiously, his eyes were nervous, and hit hat was pulled down low. All in all, he looked pretty shocked about something.
“Are you okay, lad?” I asked, startling him and causing him to let out a whiney. Which is absolutely adorable by the way. He quickly fixed his eyes on me, looking more nervous and unsettled than ever.
“Oh, mom, it’s you,” he replied hesitantly. “Yeah, Ah’m fine, just a little…concerned is all.”
“Concerned?” I repeated. “About what?” Swallowing for a moment, he began.
“Well, ya remember how Ah told ya that AJ had been called away to Manehatten.” I nodded. “And how Big Mac got all quiet and went off somewhere.” Again I nodded. He mopped his forehead now.
“Well, Ah found out this mornin’ just what he was up to, and so did AB. Ya can take a look for yourself.” He indicated where he had just come from, where Apple Bloom and the mare were standing, talking to ponies.
Still puzzled, I went over to see what was what. Pushing through the crowd, I found Apple Bloom. She quickly spotted me and bounded over.
“Hey, Mrs. Owen,” she greeted happily. “Guess what? Ah’m still gonna get to compete!” Well, at least that confirmed one bit of good news.
“With who though?” I asked. “I thought Applejack had been called away to Manehatten.” Apple Bloom turned and indicated the mare behind her, who until that moment, I hadn’t really taken much notice of. I turned to see who it was.
“This is my cousin Orchard Blossom.” Apple Bloom claimed.
I blinked. Evidently my eyes were playing up.
Oh…I guess not.
Standing before me was Big Mac.
In drag.
Complete with disguised voice.
Well, I guess that explained Bones’ thousand yard stare.
I had to stop myself from blurting out what should have been painfully obvious to anypony. But ponies do sometimes seem to miss things, I find. After all, I remember one time when Milano and I were out at the local watering hole, I had to stop Berry Punch from serving what was quite clearly three young colts stacked on top of each other under a trench coat. But I did stop myself. After all, Apple Bloom seemed happy as could be and nopony else seemed to have picked up on it.
But honestly, there was no way that dress, wig, and far too much makeup was fooling anypony. Big Mac would have made a terrible changeling. His talent for disguises was about the same as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a polar bears only golf club. Extending my hand, I managed to stammer out a few words.
“Oh er, how do you do, Orchard Blossom?”
While I think the English language has more than enough suitable descriptors in it, there are some instances where I find myself at a loss for words. I’m sure there’s some German term for what I felt next. But the closest English term that came to mind was ‘secondary embarrassment’.
“Why it is such a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Owen. Ah’ve heard so much about you humans from little Apple Bloom.”
The voice was a high sour thing and, to me, was like nails on a chalkboard. Mac is the only guy in his family, well, immediate family. How can he possibly think that that is how a girl speaks? It was the most cringe worthy attempt at a southerner’s accent that I’d ever heard, and coming from a native speaker too. I had to struggle to avoid gagging and just simply calling the fool out.
Still, I did my best to force my way through the conversation that followed, and before long, I was able to excuse myself without trouble and headed back to the stand where Bones had now joined Roger and Lizzie, that same look in his eye of some unspeakable terror still in his eyes.
I imagine my expression was no different.
I sat myself down next to my son, who’d taken my own spot. The race would be starting any time now. Roger quickly saw that something was amiss with me.
“Are…are you alright, darling?” he asked, sounding concerned. “You look almost as pale as Bones does here.” He gestured to a sickly looking Blade Star. I turned to the one pony who seemed to be in on things.
“How long has he been like that?” I enquired. Bones kept looking forward, his expression unchanging.
“Since this mornin’. Ah came downstairs and found him out in the yard with AB. His heart’s in the right place, but Ah worry that he’s gonna make a fool of himself when he gets found out.”
Well, there was little either of us could do about that. I have no doubt that Bones had already tried, and failed, to talk Big Mac out of his hare-brained scheme. I just wondered what it was that had made him do something so drastic. I mean, sure, Apple Bloom would be disappointed if she missed today, but it wasn’t like it was the end of the world for her. I suppose in a peculiar way, he was being a very nice big brother. Still, I couldn’t look at that outfit or him for more than a few moments.
There was little to be done and, despite my misgivings, I agreed with Bones to allow events to run their course. He even speculated that this might all build up to a friendship lesson at some point, and he has always counselled Roger, Lizzie, and I to always keep out of the way of those; something about affecting the series continuity, whatever that means.
The race was soon underway. It’s something of an obstacle course, and in places it would put the Royal Guard to shame. There were straight sprints, hurdles, tunnels, mud pits, high walls, all requiring each team of sisters to work together to progress. The same was true for the more complex obstacles like egg balancing and the ridiculous pie eating contest for which I’d spent some time preparing. But as I’ve said before, it’s all in good fun.
If only somepony had told Big Mac, or rather, Orchard Blossom that.
The race started off civilly enough. But not having had too much time to practice, the two Apples’ had a hard time keeping up. As the pair bounded through the obstacles, bit by bit, Big Mac’s disguise was chipped away, both physically and in his manner. About three quarters of the way through, everypony cottoned on to what Bones and I had already worked out. There was a surprised gasp as Big Mac, for it was quite clearly him at this point, came tearing out of one of the obstacles, with Apple Bloom on his back.
He ploughed, quite literally, through the remaining few obstacles leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. It was little surprise then that the stallion with his filly passenger came across the line first to a stunned silence. It was only then that it dawned on the poor lad that his cover was blown.
It all resulted in the pair of them being disqualified, although not for the reason you might expect. I would have thought that the fact that he was her brother, and in disguise would be more than enough to see him kicked out of the contest. But in fact, it was his decidedly unsportsmanlike conduct that had cost the two their first place trophy. In fact, Granny Smith explained that there always been more than a bit of leeway on what precisely constituted sisters, and that, had he simply told them, they would have happily let him compete, rather than make him stoop to subterfuge.
The race then was given to the second place winner; Dinky and her older sister Sparkler if I remember correctly. The little filly was certainly glad for the award, although it would be joining at least a dozen intellectual trophies that adorned her bedroom shelf.
Bones went down from the stands to talk to Big Mac, and I followed, but he was gone before we got down there. Suitably embarrassed, and no doubt feeling like a complete and utter fool, the quiet red stallion had retreated to the family homestead to brood.
I had to admit, I felt bad the big fella. Okay, yes, his plan was ridiculous, and it was no surprise to me that it all came unstuck. But still, his heart was in the right place. He had wanted to do something nice for his little sister. Bones can be just the same at times, although his attempts are often far less well-received by Lizzie. It would be wrong to judge him so harshly, or make too merry over his misfortune.
And after all, the poor stallion does spend an awful lot of time in Applejack’s shadow. For all his skills, intelligence and wit, I know for a fact that, until that day at least, Apple Bloom looked up to her big sister than her big brother.
And, lets’ be honest here, ridiculous or not, it took some balls to do what he did; to go out into a crowd in a wig, dress, and makeup, plus the voice, all to make his little sister smile. It certainly meant swallowing more than a little bit of his pride. So, credit where credit is due. If I were marking all this as a teacher, I’d put ‘good plan, flawed execution’.
The Sisterhooves Social then, came to a surprising end. Mac, Bones and Apple Bloom went back to the farm, and according to my son, this is what happened.
Mac went off to brood for a while, and be alone with his thoughts. Apple Bloom however, went out to talk to him that evening, finding him sitting on a small hill underneath one of the many apple tress that populate the farm. Mac explained his reasons for doing what he did. He wanted the filly to look up to him, but lamented the fact that he’d let his own pride get in the way.
Apple Bloom was quick to cheer him up and the pair reconciled. Bones joined them not long after. He offered up his apologies to the stallion as well. After all, his occasional paternalistic leanings towards Apple Bloom had only further served to exclude Mac at times.
The whole incident left all parties just a little bit wiser and more understanding of each other. And much to Big Mac’s amusement, his much vaunted sister had missed the entire thing! Applejack and Rarity heard quite the interesting tale when they returned from their own adventures in Manehatten.
After that, the whole incident pretty much died away. Small towns like Ponyville may have long memories, but when it comes to gossip, the next piece of juicy news quickly eclipses the last. Still, it made me respect the quiet red stallion just a little bit more. And if I’m honest, I can sort of see why Cheerilee has a thing for him.