When he returned to the castle, Celestia and Luna were waiting for him, stern expressions on their faces.
“What’s wrong?” Miracle asked, as soon as he caught sight of them.
“You left without any Guard accompaniment,” Celestia chided.
“What if something had happened to you?” Luna worried.
Miracle scoffed. “Like what, Lord Tirek? Relax, I’m fine,” he dismissed.
Luna shot him a stern glare. “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence,” she reminded him.
Miracle chuckled at the joke. “Okay, you’re right, I shouldn’t assume things. If it helps, I was out in the main district of Canterlot buying stuff, in full view of several ponies.” Technically he was lying by omission, by leaving out the part with the changelings, but Miracle didn't particularly care at the moment.
Luna’s stern, motherly gaze shifted to one of friendly curiosity. “What stuff?” she asked, and Celestia slapped a hoof to her forehead.
“Luna…” she groaned.
“What? We already scolded him, there is no sense in pressing the matter further now we know he is safe,” Luna defended, poking through his bags inquisitively.
Celestia sighed, rolling her eyes. “As you wish,” she finally conceded.
“Did something happen while I was out?” Miracle asked curiously.
“Well, er… yes,” Luna hesitantly confirmed. “It wasn’t something bad, but… we’d like to talk about it with both you and Clockwork, which is why we had to wait until your return.
“Oh. Alrighty then, let’s go talk about it,” Miracle agreed.
Celestia and Luna shared a worried glance, which Miracle returned with a confused one of his one. Without another word, they led him silently towards his room.
Clockwork was inside, not listening to music as he normally did and instead looking rather anxious. “There you are!” he fretted as Miracle stepped inside. “You’ve been gone for hours, you only said fifteen minutes!”
Miracle shrugged. “Fifteen minutes, assuming I didn’t decide to wander around. Which, upon seeing how interesting Canterlot is, I promptly did.” He took a seat by Clockwork, lounging on the floor, and Clockwork punched him gently on the withers, huffing angrily.
“Now, Clockwork. He returned safe, and that is all that matters,” Celestia rebuked, Luna and Miracle looking at her strangely.
“What’s going on?” Miracle asked Clockwork, who shrugged helplessly.
“I dunno, I just asked them who our dad was. You know, since we’re ‘brothers’ and all? Or half-brothers, at the very least.”
Luna sighed, closing the door behind him and lighting her horn. All background noise died down, even the humming of their laptops falling silent as the two royal sisters took seats in front of them. “Well, you’re… not quite correct,” Luna began.
“What do you mean?” Clockwork asked.
“Am I going to turn out to be adopted? Again?” Miracle joked, and Luna stifled a guilty smile.
“No, you truly are our biological offspring,” she reassured them.
“So… who was our dad, then?” Clockwork asked again.
Celestia sighed, a stressed look on her face. “You must understand… A thousand years ago, we were worried about if something happened to us. The world was a terrible place back then, fraught with dangers and enemies that sought to dispel the light and harmony we brought. If something were to happen to us, we needed alicorns to replace us.”
Miracle nodded slowly. “But alicorns can’t be born through natural means, right? Flurry Heart was an anomaly,” he countered.
Luna shook her head. “That is a story we tell the public. In truth, alicorns can be born naturally, as naturally as any other phenotype of pony. At the time of your birth, we did not know of the required spells to transform a pony into an alicorn, and because we were so desperate to bear foals, we resorted to…” she trailed off.
“We…” Luna tried again weakly.
“We impregnated each other,” Celestia answered quietly.
There was a moment of silence, and Miracle glanced at Clockwork. His own expression was impassive, but Clockwork’s was screaming gross gross OH GOD WHY with all the subtlety of several bricks to the face.
“Are you alright, Clockwork?” Celestia asked, picking up on his facial expression.
“Y…yep! No problem here, that’s… fine and dandy…” Clockwork trailed off, looking slightly green.
“Miracle? You seem rather… calm about this,” Luna observed.
Miracle shrugged. “As soon as you told me the two of us were brothers, and never mentioned a father figure… I put two and two together.”
Luna’s eyes widened. “You mean you knew the whole time?” she queried disbelievingly.
Miracle shrugged. “I had a guess. I wasn’t going to say it out loud.”
Princess Celestia weakly chuckled. “So, um… that’s the truth. We are both your mothers and your fathers. I… I am sorry to have to tell you this way, but… I felt you were old enough to know the truth.”
Miracle snorted in amusement. “So, when you wanted foals so badly, how much of that was political reasoning?” he wondered out loud.
Celestia appeared hurt, her ears splaying back. “I assure you, we had you because we wanted you!” she replied. Miracle appeared unconvinced.
“I was against the idea, at first,” Luna spoke up. “But when I saw other ponies, laughing and playing with their foals… I wanted to give it a try. My reasoning was not political in the slightest.”
Celestia looked down at the floor. “I will admit that mine was, to an extent. But ultimately, if I had not wanted a foal to rear of my own, I would not have made my decision so.” She looked up at the two of them hesitantly. “Can you forgive me?” she whispered.
Clockwork immediately made to comfort her, launching himself into a hug with his much taller mother, and Miracle followed shortly after, patting her on the back as she hugged Clockwork for dear life.
“I guess I don’t really care about your reasoning then. I care about your reasoning now… and you’ve proven that you care about us a lot,” Miracle reassured her.
“Still… there wasn’t anyone else? Couldn’t you have, I dunno, gotten one of the Royal Guards to do it?” Clockwork asked.
Celestia chuckled weakly. “Believe me, we tried. No such luck.”
Miracle finally remembered to drop his bag of glassware and chemicals by his bed, the clink of glass snapping Celestia and Clockwork out of their hug. “So, uh. I guess I’ll ask. Is incest… legal here?” Miracle wondered.
Luna shook her head. “We found very long ago that it had deleterious effects on the population. Less capacity for magic, among other things,” she explained. “We only resorted to this because we were truly desperate to bear children.”
Miracle looked at her, expressionless. “And then your children were stolen from you… wow. That’s kind of sad,” he noted, with as little emotion in his voice as if he were discussing the weather.
Luna sighed. “It was, yes,” she agreed forlornly. But her face brightened a moment later. “But now, you have returned! So there is no reason to dwell on it further,” she proclaimed.
Celestia sat down with a thump, and Miracle was surprised to see that she was shaking slightly. “I, um… I’m glad you took this so well,” the Princess of the Sun complimented faintly.
“You okay, mom?” Clockwork asked, worried.
“I just… sorry, I’ve been stressing about this for a while, and…” Celestia was cut off as Miracle tore the bedsheets off his mattress, placing the pillow off to Celestia’s side and laying her down on it. He threw the blanket over her, carefully tucking it in so that she was secure inside it.
“Lay down, breathe, and relax a little,” he commanded.
“Thank you…” Celestia trailed off, eyes closing.
“She’s going to need a glass of water when she gets up,” Miracle noted as Celestia curled inward, passing out.
“You sound experienced in these matters,” Luna commented, looking at him.
“I’ve fainted from stress a few times before, and so have a few of my friends. I got pretty good at treating it,” Miracle explained. He put a hoof to Celestia’s forehead, noting with satisfaction that she seemed to be mostly normal.
They spent a moment just sitting there in silence, Miracle occasionally rubbing Celestia’s stomach to quiet her discomforted murmurings as Clockwork awkwardly flicked his gaze between Miracle and Luna.
“So… uh…” the Prince of Time finally attempted to speak after a while.
“Yeah, I know, it’s weird and gross,” Miracle immediately answered. Luna blushed and looked away.
“No, it’s not-! I just meant – dammit!” Clockwork cried, stomping a hoof in irritation.
Miracle stopped his ministrations to gaze at his brother seriously. “You’re feeling conflicted because all of our human cultural values tell us this is a horrible, wrong, evil thing to do,” he pointed out. “However, you can’t say that, because that implies that your parents, that is, you,” he nodded at Luna, “have done something of such a tremendously sinful nature. Your emotional conflict is normal, but keep in mind that most of our mythology relies on similarly odd ways of birthing gods and goddesses, and some of them are considerably weirder. Any questions?” he finished, leaving both Clockwork and Luna to stare at him, openmouthed.
“That was…” Luna started.
“Incredibly logical,” Clockwork finished, laughing slightly. “Try to put some more emotion into it!” he chided.
Miracle chuckled. “Nah,” he dismissed. “As we all know, I’m too cool to feel more emotion than the average rock.” Luna giggled at the joke, and Clockwork rolled his eyes, smirking.
“Okay… I mean, I guess you have a point, assuming you’re mostly talking about the Greek or Nordic gods. But still… I’m sorry, it’s just a little weird,” he muttered, looking at Luna guiltily.
Luna sighed. “Imagine our shock when, of all things, that was the only one that worked,” she replied, gazing off into the distance. “We had to invent a cover story at the time, so we claimed that the two of you had been sent to us by the very magic of the world itself… I think. Celestia probably remembers whatever we made up better than I do,” Luna considered.
“So… wait. Does this mean that Flurry Heart is actually the child of Princess Cadance and Twilight?” Clockwork asked, a half-incredulous smile coming to his lips.
Luna laughed heartily. “No, we most assuredly confirmed that Shining Armor is her genetic father. We are unsure how that happened, but we suspect it may have something to do with Cadance's aspect of love. Twilight Sparkle, impregnating her foalsitter – the very idea!” she chortled.
“What’s so funny, Lulu?” Celestia inquired, somehow having managed to wake up without any of them noticing.
Luna immediately stopped laughing. “N-nothing,” she denied, still grinning.
“Is this about Twilight’s sex life? Honestly, you really need to stop, Twilight’s going to hear you one of these days,” Celestia chided, pushing herself into a sitting position.
“…How are you feeling?” Miracle eventually asked, electing to ignore the conversation that had just taken place.
Clockwork, however, was not so stoic, falling over in a fit of the giggles as he blushed crimson red.
Celestia, upon realizing that he was there, immediately blushed as well. “Oh-! I… forgot you two… um…” she trailed off, quickly turning to Miracle. “A bit dazed, but I’m fine,” the Princess of the Sun hurriedly answered.
“Are you sure? You seem a bit… candid at the moment,” Miracle deviously remarked, and Celestia hid her face behind her wings.
“Anyway… Um. Wow. I’m genuinely not sure where we go from here,” Clockwork remarked, looking awkwardly around the room.
“Wanna just pretend it never happened?” Miracle suggested.
“Miracle!” Luna objected.
“Whaat? I was joking,” Miracle defended.
“Even so,” Luna grumbled.
“Well… this doesn’t really change much in our relationship,” Clockwork mused. “It just means we won’t have a masculine father figure to look up to.”
Miracle snorted. “There’s always Discord,” he pointed out.
Celestia and Luna immediately cringed, expecting Discord to appear on the scene. To their surprise, he didn’t, causing everyone to look around in confusion.
“Darn… that normally works,” Miracle noted curiously.
“…At any rate… it is almost time for bed. Do you two need anything?” Celestia asked.
“…No, I think we’re good,” Clockwork replied after a moment.
“Very well. Good night, you two! I love you both,” Celestia concluded, warmly nuzzling the two of them. Clockwork giggled as she did so, and Miracle cringed slightly despite the grin on his face.
“Gonna have to learn how to do that, huh?” Miracle noted.
“You don’t know how to nuzzle?” Luna queried incredulously. “That’s – how do you humans function?”
Clockwork burst into laughter. “Clearly, with great difficulty,” he returned.
Luna firmly nuzzled the pair of them, and bid them adieu as well, leaving Miracle and Clockwork alone. Miracle promptly began unpacking his bags, while Clockwork elected to lay on his bed and stare at the ceiling.
“So, that happened,” Miracle prompted after a moment.
“Yeah… our moms are weird. What else is new?” Clockwork sighed.
Meanwhile, just outside the room, Chrysalis sat, stunned at the revelations she had overheard. Indeed, if anyone could have seen her expression, they might have said that all the secrets of the universe had been laid bare before her, and her fragile mind was too weak to comprehend all that had just transpired. They might also have said that she was rather heavily blushing.
The following day, Miracle and Clockwork awoke to find Celestia and Luna waiting there, expectant smiles on both their faces.
“Alright, what’s with the faces?” Miracle drawled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
“Court is closed on the weekends,” Luna began.
“Which means we have the entire day to enjoy with you!” Celestia finished, beaming excitedly.
“Neat. What are we doing?” Miracle asked.
“I was thinking we could visit a wonderful mineral museum in downtown Canterlot, followed by a massage for the four of us at the royal spa and lunch. After that, we could attend a performance of the Canterlot Orchestral Symphony this evening,” Celestia offered.
Miracle and Clockwork looked at each other. “Sounds good,” Miracle agreed. “When do we leave?”
Luna hopped excitedly. “As soon as you get yourselves out of bed! Come on, let’s go!” she enthused.
A few minutes later, the four of them were walking through Canterlot, Miracle looking around interestedly at the shops as Clockwork stumbled after them, slowly waking up from the fresh breeze that circled around them.
“So, how do you feel about being Princes so far?” Celestia asked as they walked.
Miracle immediately glared off into the distance. Here we go again, he thought. If we say ‘good,’ she’ll assume that that’s justification to get into the bad parts of it without our approval. If we say ‘bad,’ she’ll act all hurt or whatever and use that to make us feel bad. Part of him argued against this train of thought. What if she just wants to make sure we’re happy? Haven’t we proven she really does care? it spoke up. Not enough evidence, his other side argued back.
“Miracle?” Celestia asked, snapping him out of his train of thought.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. Uh… good, I guess,” Miracle answered.
“You ‘guess?’ Is something wrong?” Celestia worried.
“Nah, nothing’s wrong. And… this is… more fun than I’ve had in a long time,” Miracle admitted.
Celestia smiled at him, clearly pleased. “Glad to hear it,” she agreed.
“Yeah, I… I mean, this is all really weird, but… I like it? It’s definitely better than going to college for a lame degree,” Clockwork spoke up.
“A ‘lame’ degree? I do not understand,” Luna queried.
“Lame now means uncool or boring, rather than lacking extremities,” Miracle explained.
“Ah, that makes sense… I think,” Luna replied uncertainly.
Miracle shrugged. “Most slang I hear nowadays is either a synonym for ‘cool’ or ‘uncool,’” he added.
“I see,” Luna murmured.
They arrived at the mineral museum, where Miracle promptly glued his eyes to the windows. “Come on, there’s cooler stuff inside,” Clockwork groaned, dragging Miracle by a hoof.
“But I want to see the stuff out here first! There’s citrine! And apophyllite! And is that a lump of peridot?!” Miracle whined, reluctantly allowing himself to be taken away from the pony-sized lump of gemstone.
Celestia and Luna exchanged knowing looks with each other, smirking at their children’s antics.
For the next hour, Miracle was lost in a sea of sparkling, shining gemstones, eyes flicking all around as he tried to take it all in. The Canterlot Museum of Mineralogy proclaimed it was “the best in all Equestria,” and so far it lived up to the title. There were native elements, precious metals, meteorites, small cut gems, larger natural gems, perfect crystals, and so much more. Luna looked fondly at the section entitled “Rocks and Gems from the Moon!” and Miracle wondered how there could possibly be gemstones on the Moon before he remembered that it was Anima’s Moon, not Earth’s Moon. That said, he studied the ‘Lunite’ with interest, noting its pale blue coloration and slight translucency.
“How did they even get this?” he wondered.
“I donated these samples,” Luna explained. “T’was a simple matter to teleport to my Moon, gather some, and bring them back.”
Miracle examined the gemstone with renewed interest. “What’s its chemical formula?” he asked.
Luna thought for a while. “It contains calcium and silicates, that much the museum has determined. There is another element in there that we have yet to name… or isolate. Tis’ most stubborn.”
Miracle considered this – he suspected yttrium, from his knowledge of Earth’s Moon’s chemical composition, but it could be a number of other things. Rare earths, maybe?
They finished the tour of the museum, and Miracle immediately made a beeline for the gift shop. “Pick one, Mirry,” Luna called out, giggling at his antics as he perused the miniature gem shop that the museum hosted.
“Aww,” Miracle whined. “Alright.” He examined the rows of polished gems carefully, finally selecting a blue and green, opaque stone.
“Chrysocolla?” Luna asked curiously, and Miracle shrugged.
“Only one of the copper minerals I don’t have yet.”
Luna remained silent for a moment, before giving him a small smile. “If you say so,” she agreed, trotting up to the counter to purchase it.
“Hey, can I get one too?” Clockwork asked.
“Sure,” Celestia agreed.
“Miracle, any suggestions?” Clockwork asked.
“Depends. If you want rarity, they’ve got some small diamonds. For looks, I would go for the emeralds, they’re a really nice shade of green. Definitely don’t get the amethyst,” Miracle suggested.
“Why not?” Celestia wondered. “Amethyst is the most common gemstone – or at least, it was back on Earth. It’s a variety of quartz with iron impurities, both of which are everywhere on the planet,” Miracle scoffed.
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “And yet, it is one of the rarest varieties of gems here on Anima. Hence why it is my preferred crown jewel,” she countered.
Miracle snorted, looking slightly apologetic. “Whoops. Sorry, didn’t mean to insult your jewelry preferences. Uh… I guess it’s up to you, then,” Miracle finished, looking at Clockwork expectantly.
“You know what? I’m going to get this sapphire,” Clockwork chose, holding up a deep blue, perfectly transparent sapphire.
“…Wow, way to ignore my advice,” Miracle ribbed, pretending to turn his nose up. Clockwork laughed, bumping him in the shoulder as he levitated the sapphire over to Celestia.
“Hey, when did you learn levitation?” Miracle asked curiously.
“Celestia taught me on the train here. You were asleep again,” Clockwork answered.
“Huh. That reminds me, we still have to go about learning how to magic sometime,” Miracle remembered.
“Don’t worry, we have a lesson plan ready,” Luna joined in, having finished her purchases.
“Huh, already? At least you’re on top of things. So… what are we doing next, again?” Miracle asked.
“The spa, I think,” Clockwork remembered.
“Indeed,” Luna agreed. “We have visited before, and found it very relaxing. Miracle, are you ready to leave?” she asked.
Miracle looked around. “Not nearly,” he decided, “but I guess I can leave for now.”
Luna stifled a giggle, and Miracle caught a smile on the nearby museum staffer’s face as the four of them exited the museum.
As they walked through the Canterlot streets towards the spa, Miracle realized they were passing right by the same alleyway that he had been in a short while ago. He looked at it, thoroughly searching it for any sign of changelings, but it seemed like a normal alley. Maybe they had all transformed into inanimate objects? Strange. Miracle looked forward again, and realized he had fallen behind the others, quickening his pace to catch up.
The spa itself was elegant and luxurious, that much was evident by the way the building itself was designed. Even in autumn, gouts of water still streamed out of holes in the building wall, where they were collected by pools underneath. Miracle could tell just by looking that the water in question was hot water, the shimmer of heat waves giving it away against the slightly chilly autumn air.
“Isn’t that a waste of hot water?” he wondered, pointing it out to Luna.
She looked at the jets of water curiously, horn lighting for a moment as she cast an unseen spell. “They are enchanted to remain at a constant temperature, drawing energy from a magical crystal inside the building. At the rate the crystal is being drained, the spa could continue these bursts of water for another hundred years, at least,” she determined.
“A hundred years? That’s a pretty good battery,” Miracle commented, looking at Clockwork as Celestia walked into the building, leaving the three of them outside as she went to confirm their reservation.
“Battery?” Luna asked, tilting her head slightly in confusion.
“It’s like a… well, like a magical crystal, I guess. Batteries power most of the handheld technology back on Earth. They’re little electrochemical cells, designed to turn the potential difference between two chemical reactions into usable electrical power,” Miracle explained.
Luna nodded, interested. “I believe Cloudsdale has done some research into this matter. They stacked hundreds of plates of copper and zinc on top of another, with sheets of soaked seawater in between, and managed to produce a very weak lightning bolt.”
Miracle smirked at the reference to Voltaire’s work on Earth. “They did, huh? Maybe I should go up there and show them a thing or two,” he joked.
Luna laughed, nodding. “Why not? I would love to see what the Cloudsdale weather scientists could come up with if they had access to Earth’s inventions,” she mused.
Miracle chuckled good-naturedly. “I’d have to introduce them to solid-state electronics first. Can’t wait to see what Equestria’s reaction to a nonmagical laser will be like,” he snarked.
Clockwork slapped a hoof to his forehead. “Try to save your plans for world domination for later, Josh,” he chimed in.
“World domination?” Luna asked, confused.
“It’s a joke,” Miracle quickly explained. “Lasers can be used as weapons if they’re powerful enough, and Ben and I used to joke that I was going to be a mad scientist who took over the world one day.”
Luna laughed again, this time with a tinge of unease. “I see…” she trailed off.
Miracle rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m not actually interested in conquering stuff, nor am I going to be some insane scientist performing unethical experiments. It’s just a joke, Mom.”
Luna gave him an uncertain smile. “Perhaps… refrain from making those kinds of jokes in the future,” she suggested. “Some ponies may take that the wrong way, given that you’re my son, and I…”
Miracle quickly realized what she was talking about. “Hey, it’s alright! If it makes you feel better, we won’t joke about that stuff anymore,” he soothed.
“Thank you,” Luna agreed, sounding relieved.
Just then, a burst of green fire zoomed down the street, a rippling disturbance in the air washing over them as it passed by, slipping through the spa’s door.
“Princess Twilight must have sent a letter,” Luna realized.
“Huh. That’s… a little more dramatic than I remember,” Clockwork muttered to Miracle, who chuckled as he pushed open the spa door to investigate.
He found Celestia anxiously reading over the letter Twilight had sent, muttering to herself as her eyes scanned each line of script with a practiced rigor.
“Mom? You alright?” Clockwork asked, snapping Celestia out of her trance.
“Oh! Yes, yes, of course. Nothing to worry about,” Celestia hastily soothed, teleporting the letter away with a flash of her horn. Miracle and Clockwork glanced at each other, unconvinced. “Anyway, our appointment is just about ready to start. Are you two ready?” Celestia asked.
The two brothers shrugged in unison. “Yeah, sure,” Miracle answered for the two of them.
“Then follow me, your Majesties,” a unicorn spa attendant chimed in, leading them through a set of ornate double doors.
An hour later, the four of them exited the spa, shivering slightly from the chilly air compared to the warm, steamy interior of the building they had just been in.
“Wow, that was… really good, actually. I haven’t felt this good in years,” Clockwork complimented, stretching his joints in satisfaction.
“How about you, Miracle?” Luna asked, with a knowing smirk.
“Yeah, it was… yeah,” Miracle replied dazedly, a dopey smile still on his face.
Luna giggled. “Glad to hear it.”
Meanwhile, ‘Jade Heart’ watched them exit, paying careful attention to the Princes’ expressions.
“Massages, gems, hot baths, what else…” she muttered, her lime-green magic levitating a quill as she wrote her thoughts down. She had a drone inside that very spa, and it seemed they would have to teach her a few things. Ordinarily she would scoff at the very notion of learning something from an inferior drone, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She would do this right this time. No more mistakes.
They stopped outside a restaurant, with a title Miracle couldn’t even pronounce.
“What’s this restaurant?” Clockwork asked curiously.
“It’s one of the least fancy restaurants in Canterlot,” Celestia answered. “It’s little more than a simple fast food joint, but they made everything look fancy in order to keep the customers coming.”
Miracle raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Fast food, huh? What exactly is fast food in Equestria?” he asked.
“Mushroom burgers, hay fries, things like that. I don’t eat them often, due to the public scandal it caused last time…” Celestia grumbled.
Luna chuckled, elbowing her sister. “Remember the last time an advisor ‘advised’ you to lay off the calories?” she ribbed.
Celestia’s eyes smoldered slightly. “And to this day, there is one less royal family in Canterlot,” she muttered.
Clockwork looked at her in alarm. “What’d you do to them?” he worried.
Noticing his expression, Celestia instantly looked guilty. “Nothing terrible! I just stripped him of his title. He’s still in Canterlot, and still quite wealthy.”
Miracle laughed. “Honestly, why would anyone ever call you fat? If anything, I always wondered why you were so thin. You’re like Clockwork, you’re both skin and bones.”
Celestia blushed slightly. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all year! Thank you, sweetie, you’re too kind.”
Luna looked at Miracle curiously. “What about me?” she asked.
Miracle leveled his gaze at her. “Luna. You need. To gain weight,” he intoned, and Luna burst out laughing, her mirth echoing through the streets as passersby turned in surprise.
The restaurant was cozy on the inside, with a roaring fireplace wiping away the autumn chill as the four royals took their seats.
“Oh! Princess Celestia!” the maître d’ called out as soon as he spotted the form of them.
“Hello again, Swift Service,” Celestia greeted amicably.
“Your favorite table is open and ready for you right now, go on in!” Swift encouraged.
Celestia happily led the other three to a spot right next to the fireplace, the heat washing over them as they took their seats. A waitress quickly came up with glasses of water and menus, which they politely accepted and began leafing through.
“Shame we can’t eat meat anymore,” Miracle mentioned offhandedly.
Celestia and Luna fidgeted uncomfortably. “Oh… right…” Luna muttered, looking around to see if they had been overheard.
“Perhaps it is not wise to mention that in public,” Celestia murmured to them, looking around as well.
“Oh… is that taboo here?” Clockwork asked, exchanging a worried look with Miracle.
Celestia tugged at her peytral. “Not… exactly… but ponies do not consume meat, having no need or reason. We are just worried of the scandal it could raise if somepony decides to make an issue of it.”
Miracle sighed, irritated. “Can’t you arrest Blueblood for… I dunno, extortion?”
Celestia gave him a sigh of her own. “I cannot exercise my power in such a way. Even if I believe it is justified, I am not going to be that kind of princess.”
Luna snorted. “You might get away with it. Ever since my return, ponies have been wondering what it would take for you to banish some poor sap to the moon for their crimes.” Celestia winced.
“That’s a common trope in… well, our version of the story as well,” Miracle added. “Some assumed you were some kind of tyrant who delighted in the suffering of her subjects, much like Discord used to.”
Luna and Celestia quickly looked around, but Discord was nowhere to be found, strangely.
“Why did they assume that? Did I do something wrong?” Celestia asked sadly.
“Not really,” Miracle answered indifferently. “There was that thing where you sent Twilight only two tickets to the Gala, knowing that she had six friends. Then, something about that phoenix of yours and Fluttershy, I forget the details.”
Celestia looked at him in consternation. “Philomena? What happened with her?” she asked.
“I think people were annoyed you didn’t step in earlier and tell Fluttershy that phoenixes die a lot? No idea,” Miracle admitted.
Celestia was about to reply, but a waiter had just appeared at their table, smiling patiently. “Are you ready to order?” she asked politely.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I’ll have the… lasagna,” Miracle quickly decided.
“Same,” Clockwork added.
“In fact, why not a large one for all four of us?” Celestia offered, Luna nodding in agreement.
“Good choice!” the waiter agreed, bowing slightly as she took their menus and trotting off to inform the chefs.
“So… am I a bad princess?” Celestia asked quietly, as soon as the waiter was out of earshot.
Miracle snorted. “Hardly,” he dismissed. “It’s not you, it’s everyone else’s reaction to you. In case you haven’t noticed, mom, most ponies seem to deify you to a degree rarely seen outside of totalitarian regimes and dictatorships back home – which is why some made that comparison. Whether you actually exhibit that behavior in the ‘show’ is yet to be determined, because you appear so rarely. There is little point worrying about it, anyway – why should you care about the opinions of a planet so far removed from yours?” Miracle pointed out.
Celestia and Luna stared at him, and Clockwork chuckled slightly.
“What?” Miracle asked, looking at them.
“Meanwhile, you debate so rarely, we forget that you’re actually super good at it,” Clockwork ribbed.
Miracle chuckled. “I’m used to having to prove my arguments empirically. It’s not easy, so I rarely bother to argue with anypony. Too much work,” he scoffed, lazily leaning back.
“Princesses Celestia and Luna?” a voice called out in surprise, and all four of them looked over. To their surprise, the dragoness Ember had just entered the restaurant, her aquamarine scales quite out-of-place amidst the cozy interior atmosphere.
“Dragon Lady Ember? What are you doing here?” Celestia called over, and Ember took an uncomfortable seat next to Clockwork.
“I… well, I was going to schedule a meeting with you, but I don’t know how ponies schedule meetings. You don’t have some kind of Bloodstone Scepter of your own, do you?” Ember questioned.
Celestia laughed politely. “Sadly, we do not. Most of our subjects request a meeting through our subordinates, known as ‘secretaries,’ who can be found in the throne room next to the throne at most times.”
Ember nodded. “Ah. Should I go and find them, then?” she wondered.
Celestia considered it a moment, then shook her head. “No, if you are already here, sending you off somewhere else would be a waste of both of our time. Is what you wish to talk about lengthy, or can it be done here?” Celestia asked.
Ember looked around. “Well, it’s not lengthy, but…” she trailed off, looking at Clockwork and Miracle. “I… I’ll go find those ‘secretaries,’” Ember announced, taking flight and speeding off through the doorway to the restaurant, knocking over a nearby unicorn in her haste.
Celestia watched her go, confused. “What was that about?” she wondered.
“Guess you’ll find out later,” Miracle shrugged. He had his own suspicions, but given what happened the last time he’d voiced his theories aloud, he was going to keep silent this time.
They finished the lasagna at a leisurely pace, Miracle being the first to finish as usual. With nothing else to do, he stared around at the restaurant, wishing he had remembered to bring his phone.
“Say, when are we going to learn how to fly?” Clockwork asked in between bites of lasagna.
“Soon, I would think. Your wings are already fully developed, though I am unsure if they received proper pre-adolescent care, on account of… well, your transformation,” Celestia wondered.
“Aren’t we also going to have to learn how to preen and stuff?” Miracle remembered.
Luna nodded. “It is a very important part of wing care, rather equivalent to brushing one’s teeth. You must do it every night and every morning, to ensure your feathers are appropriately cleaned and straightened.
Clockwork winced. “Is preening painful?” he asked.
Celestia and Luna looked at him strangely. “Of course not! It feels quite pleasurable, so long as you don’t preen so viciously you pull a feather. And even then, that is not very painful,” Luna dismissed.
“That reminds me. It is time for you two to begin your magical education. Ordinarily I would hire a tutor to perform this duty, but… well, Twilight Sparkle is not available, and besides her only myself and Luna have enough magical knowledge to teach you properly. Therefore, I will be in charge of your education. Is that alright?” Celestia asked.
“What about your School for Gifted Unicorns?” Miracle asked, raising an eyebrow.
Celestia snorted. “That school has an age range of seven to fifteen years old. You attending would raise some very awkward questions.”
Miracle shrugged in agreement.
“So, wait. You’re going to be our teacher? Giving us assignments, and stuff? But you’re also our mom, so you’d be helping us with those assignments. How would that even work?” Clockwork asked, bewildered.
“Why would it not?” Celestia replied, equally confused. “I would merely be providing you more aid than another teacher could in understanding the concepts.”
Miracle snorted in amusement. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about grades, Clockwork. The Equestrian education model is probably very different than what we’re used to.”
Clockwork shrugged, taking another bite of his lasagna. “I guess… Hey… does this lasagna taste weirdly metallic to you?” Clockwork asked.
“No…” Luna replied, and suddenly Miracle was very alert.
“Weird. There's some kind of white powder in here-“ Clockwork began, but was cut off by Miracle standing up.
“Get him to the hospital,” he ordered Celestia and Luna.
“What?” Luna asked, confused and dismayed.
“Hospital. Arsenic poisoning. Now,” Miracle ordered, in a tone that brooked no argument and caused nearby restaurant patrons to look over in concern.
Frightened, Luna nodded before teleporting herself and Clockwork away. As soon as they disappeared, Miracle checked the lasagna slice Clockwork had just been eating, confirming his suspicions. Someone had slipped what appeared to be a ball of a powdery white substance into the food, and Clockwork had bitten into it.
“Arsenic trioxide,” he muttered to Celestia. “It’s a classic poison.”
Celestia turned pale, an impressive feat considering she was already bright white. “Is he going to be okay?” she demanded.
“Depends. They’ll need a chelating agent, something like dimercaprol. Has Equestria invented this yet?” Miracle demanded.
“I don’t… know…” Celestia stammered.
Miracle snorted, infuriated. “I don’t have time for this!” he yelled, and teleported away with a flash of light, leaving Celestia alone in the restaurant. She looked around, eyes as wide as the ponies who were staring at her, and then teleported herself.
Miracle did not know how he had spontaneously learned to teleport. Had he been consciously aware, he might have commented how ridiculous it was that he was suddenly learning a difficult unicorn spell, and what effect this might have on his status as an overpowered alicorn OC. However, the real Miracle was buried beneath layers of long-unused adrenaline and panic. As he blinked into existence in the hospital, nurses and patients diving out of the way for the second time that afternoon, he immediately made a beeline for the emergency room.
“Sir, you can’t go-“ a nurse tried, but was promptly ignored.
So too was the door, as Miracle phased through it as though it had little more substance than the air around it. Doctors scattered as Miracle galloped through the room, heading in a straight line for room sixteen with little thought to anything in the way. As soon as he reached his destination, a muted conversation between a nurse and Princess Luna could be heard.
“-is no cure! We haven’t had to treat arsenic poisoning in centuries, and they never found a cure then!”
This was all Miracle needed to know. The air shimmered around him, oxygen and nitrogen transmuting and letting off a storm of deadly neutrons as they changed to carbon, hydrogen and sulfur. The excess neutrons were quickly disposed of, leaving a transparent liquid floating in the air as Miracle charged into the room. With a flash of copper-orange light, the liquid disappeared, one of Clockwork’s veins bulging for a moment as he heaved and convulsed. As the medicine took effect, Clockwork gave a rattling sigh, and was finally still.
“Miracle?!” Luna cried, evidently shocked by his appearance.
Miracle looked at her through blank, widely staring eyes, the adrenaline of just a few seconds ago catching up with him. Without another word, he fell to the floor, out cold.
Miracle woke up what felt like just a few seconds later to find Celestia and Luna staring at him, concern etched into their eyes.
“I’m fine,” Miracle immediately headed off. “How is he?”
His two new parents shared a look. “Clockwork is… well, I don’t quite know what you did to him, but he’s in very bad shape. The doctors claim he should be by all rights dead, though, so I am not sure what to think,” Celestia murmured, sounding exhausted.
“Vomiting and gastrointestinal distress?” Miracle guessed.
“Yes, actually. My son… what did you infuse him with?” Luna asked, sounding half curious and half terrified.
“Dimercaptosuccinic acid, known as succimer. A poison in its own right, but much more mild than arsenic trioxide. It chelates arsenic in the body, binding it and preventing it from interacting with and killing the body’s vital organs. I think I gave him enough of a dose to last him a while… not enough to kill him. I don’t remember much, honestly,” Miracle muttered.
Luna sighed, evidently only slightly less confused than Celestia. “So… will he be okay?” Celestia weakly pleaded.
“He’ll need more of that stuff, which means he’ll be poisoned for a while longer. What you see now is what he’ll be like for about twenty days. By then, the arsenic concentration in his body should have passed below safe limits,” Miracle explained.
“I… I still don’t understand. You captured the poison with a different poison?” Celestia continued.
“Yeah. It’s a fairly common technique for acute poisoning,” Miracle answered. He could have continued at length about the usage of different medical treatments throughout history, but he sensed Celestia was very close to snapping as it was. “He’ll be in great pain for a while… but I promise he’ll live.”
Celestia stared at him a moment longer, before her shoulders slumped and she fell to the floor in relief. “Thank you…” she sobbed, tears flooding down her face as pent-up emotion and stress finally found their release.
“So… how long have I been out?” Miracle asked.
“Just a few hours. You collapsed from magical exhaustion after… well, after all that,” Luna explained.
“Magical exhaustion? What exactly did I do?” Miracle wondered, slightly dismayed.
“While we were waiting for you to wake up, we think we figured out most of it. One teleportation, several intangibility spells, and one extremely potent transmutation spell, the likes of which we have never seen before,” Luna listed out.
“Are those… difficult?” Miracle asked blankly.
“Teleportation can be done by unicorns in a panicked state, that is well documented. It is still a difficult spell, but adrenaline compensates the loss of energy. Intangibility depends on how long the subject is in contact with anything that should not be occupying that space, the shorter the better. Transmutation is very difficult, requiring a very experienced unicorn to even pull off the regular variety on a very short quantity of material,” Luna replied, sounding almost glad for the distraction.
“…What was the difference between my spell and the ‘regular’ variety?” Miracle asked, scientific curiosity taking over now that he was certain he was out of trouble.
“Well, the first transmutation spell was developed by Clover the Clever, Star Swirl’s apprentice, and has not been modified since,” Luna began. “It only works if all atoms present in the target substance are also present in the initial substance to be modified. It also only works if the target substance’s structure and properties are completely understood by the caster, in that organic, complex substances such as food or drink must have their structures and correct behavior memorized by the caster. Since Clover’s time, only Twilight Sparkle has been able to pull off this spell flawlessly, and even then only because she studied her target substances intensely,” she continued.
“The molecular structure of succimer isn’t terribly complex…” Miracle weakly countered.
“And yet, I assume it contained carbon atoms, as well as other minor organic components?” Luna rebutted imperiously, looking at him for a response.
“…Sulfur,” Miracle muttered.
Luna nodded. “Neither sulfur nor carbon nor hydrogen were present in enough amounts to make the amount of 'succimer' you were seen with. That, then, implies that you changed those atoms present in the air to the atoms you desired, which, according to most theoretical mages, would take more energy than we use to move the sun and moon for a century. That’s a lot, by the way,” she remarked.
“Nuclear transmutation… wow. Seems like I have some explaining to do,” Miracle sighed.
Luna snorted in amusement. “Indeed you do. I’ve had half the mages from the Theoretical Magic and Science Committee demanding to know how you performed this feat in front of an entire emergency room of eyewitnesses.”
Miracle rolled his eyes, though an unmistakable smile was present on his face. “Well, as for the energy involved, I’m not sure what to tell you. I don’t know a whole lot about how magical energy production works. But the transmutation itself is well studied by human physicists.”
Luna cocked her head. “Physicists? But surely this is a magical phenomenon?” she asked.
Miracle noticed Celestia switching her head between the two of them, as if watching a tennis rally. Her expression spoke of not even a gram of understanding of what the two of them were talking about. “In humanity’s case, no. We achieved the required energy to split and fuse atoms through some very specific, well-machined conditions – and even then we used amounts of as small as one or two atoms at a time,” Miracle began.
“But… how could you see them?” Luna wondered. “We didn’t, at least, not directly. What we did see was the effects of their collision. We built very sensitive measuring instruments, which were able to map the path of the atoms once they collided. According to our research, for some of the experiments, the results told us quite conclusively that most of the atoms had stuck together upon colliding, smaller particles flying away as the new, larger nucleus continued on its path. That was nuclear fusion.”
Luna nodded, her eyes wide.
“But before that, there were experiments in fission, or the splitting of an atom to form smaller ones. A lot of energy is released during fission, because the nuclear strong force binds protons and neutrons so closely. During the time this research took place, it was the height of World War Two.”
Luna raised her hoof, and Miracle paused. “World War Two? A conflict where the entire world fought… for the second time?” she asked incredulously.
Miracle tilted his head from side to side in a ‘so-so’ motion. “Not quite. All the major powers fought. Lines were drawn, and everybody who was anybody picked a side. Very few larger countries managed to stay out of the war entirely. The point is, our side, the United Nations, and more specifically my old country the United States, were working on a superweapon that could end the war for good. Something that could instantly and forever change the game.” Here Miracle paused again, a look of slight regret in his eye.
“We got what we wished for.”
“Like I said, the splitting of one atom releases a lot of energy. It also releases tiny amounts of other atoms, fragments of the larger nucleus. In uranium’s case, these were an atom of barium and an atom of krypton. In this case, their chemical properties are largely unimportant. Think of them as two smaller atoms that, upon fission, start moving very fast,” he added to Luna’s uncomprehending look. She nodded, gesturing for him to continue. “What we discovered is that if we concentrated an amount of fissile uranium – uranium that could undergo this fission reaction, as opposed to uranium that could not – we found that we could start a fission chain reaction. Every pair of atoms produced by a splitting uranium atom smacked into two nearby uranium atoms, splitting them too. And so on, and so forth, until the whole sample had exploded in a colossal release of energy and radioactive particles. This was the birth of the nuclear bomb.”
Luna swallowed nervously. “How powerful were these ‘nuclear bombs’?” she wondered.
Miracle sighed. “We didn’t know. We knew so little about the monster we had created, only that it blew up things just like we wanted it to. So, after some deliberation, we decided to test it out. We dropped two bombs, just two, on the Japanese cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima.”
“The death toll was in the hundreds of thousands.”
Celestia and Luna clapped their hooves to their mouths, shocked, but Miracle went on relentlessly. “Of course, that was only the immediate death toll. Those that died instantly were just the lucky ones. The energy released was in the form of gamma radiation, a high-power form of light. This light can penetrate everything short of thick lead barriers, so the concrete-and-steel buildings of Japan didn’t stand a chance. Those who were caught in the blast radius were vaporized immediately. Those that were just outside suffered a much worse fate. Their skin melted together, blistering and cauterizing as the intense radiation damaged their internal structures beyond any repair. Some died, others managed to just barely survive. What remained of those cities, humans and buildings alike, could best be described as ‘post-apocalyptic.’”
Luna made a dry heaving sound.
“Wh-why are you telling us this?” Celestia asked tearfully.
Miracle looked at her sternly. “I am warning you, the pair of you. You said scientists wanted to know how I did this. I say that if you and they want the answers, they must have the full story. They cannot afford to repeat our mistakes. Nuclear fusion and fission can be controlled – but only with the utmost safety precautions in place. Redundancy upon redundancy is needed to ensure nothing can go wrong, and even then it’s best to have a backup plan when messing with these reactions. And now that you know the dangers, you and I can help prevent anything like that from happening to our own ponies.”
Luna took a moment to compose herself, still shuddering. “I… I am glad you are concerned about safety, and… thank you for the warning. We will do our best to prevent this outcome.”
Miracle nodded silently. “I only went into detail because I wanted to make sure you understood the consequences for failure. This isn’t some chemical reaction or distillation, where the worst-case scenario involves the loss of a few lives. Poor adherence to safety in nuclear science is a recipe for the death of millions. Which is why I never tried it,” Miracle muttered.
“And yet… you did try it. Just hours ago. And you lived… so it can be done safely,” Celestia noted.
“I still don’t know how I did that. By all accounts, splitting and recombining that many atoms should have blown up the hospital, at the very least. Did the eyewitnesses see anything unusual?” Miracle asked.
Celestia perked up. “They reported a bright blue glow, distinct from the orange color of your magic and noticeably less contained in nature. When you were done transmuting the antidote, the blue glow vanished almost like it was teleported, though our finest mages could not track where it had been sent to or even what it was.”
Miracle thought for a moment. “The blue glow is obviously high-energy neutrons – they ionize the air around them, turning it blue,” he explained. “I might have teleported them somewhere safe, which… is definitely a good thing. Neutrons are equally dangerous in their own right,” he remarked.
“What do they do?” Celestia wondered, wincing already.
“Radiation poisoning, much like that of a nuclear blast but on a less immediate scale. Your hair falls out, your internal organs stop working right, and you’ll probably get cancer,” Miracle listed. “There’s not much of a cure, beyond chemotherapy and the use of certain chemicals in supplements that can soak up radiation into safe forms, but it’s not nearly as instantly lethal as a nuclear explosion. Lead shielding and borated paraffin wax will prevent most of that,” he continued. “But… yeah. Sounds like I just tore the atoms apart, got rid of the excess neutrons, and recombined them into what I needed. Which… again, shouldn’t be possible from an energy standpoint.”
Celestia was deep in thought. “Magical surges during life-threatening situations can happen. It is most commonly seen when parents see their children in danger, allowing them to access significantly larger reserves of magic than they might otherwise be able to use. But they are still limited by what spells those unicorns know, and given that you invented an entirely new transmutation spell… frankly, I am as bewildered as you are,” she mused.
“Hasn’t any unicorn suddenly and surreptitiously knew just what to cast before?” Miracle wondered, recalling the many times the show had introduced a ‘deus ex machina’ in some way.
Celestia shook her head. “The closest occurrence that I can think of is the use of a magical artifact such as the Elements of Harmony. Those have information contained in them, vast quantities of information that we cannot hope to replicate. They are like that because they are directly linked to destiny, and thus know all possible spells that they will ever need to use,” Celestia explained.
“Interesting… and my being the Alicorn of Space wouldn’t account for it in any way?” Miracle asked.
Celestia shook her head. “Though alicorns are extremely powerful, we are not able to simply invent spells to use like that. We must do our research as much as anypony else when it comes to new magic.”
Miracle thought hard. “In that case… I dunno,” he admitted, falling back onto the bed with a sigh. “Maybe we’ll figure it out later.”
Luna appeared to be deep in thought as well. “I believe you are on to something, tying it to your aspect of Space,” she posited. “After all, there is little that has more to do with spatial magic than atomic interactions. Perhaps your special talent ‘kicked in’ somehow?” she wondered, looking over at Celestia.
Curiously, she remained silent.
“…Tia?” Luna asked.
“Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just… thinking,” Celestia muttered, glancing away.
“About what?” Miracle asked.
“It’s just… we had yesterday all planned out. Everything was going to be perfect, you two were going to have the best day we could give you… and then this happened,” Celestia angrily replied, squeezing her eyes shut as she apparently fought to keep herself from crying. “Why do my little ponies do this to me?! I just want you two to be here, happy, with us, and they try to assassinate my son! Why?!” she cried, finally breaking down into tears.
“Oh, sister…” Luna sighed, immediately wrapping a wing around her.
Miracle watched for a while as Luna comforted her older sister, unsure if he should be doing something as well. Should he hug her? She might lash out at him, emotional people did that a lot in his experience. Console her? Any words would sound hollow. Make a practical suggestion as to what to do next? That would just be considered callous. So, Miracle elected to do nothing at all, reasoning that at the very least he could claim he was ‘distracted’ or something. It was only when Luna looked at him and gave a jerk of her head to signify that he join in that Miracle was compelled to rethink this decision. Hesitantly, he got off the bed he had been resting on, trotting over and gently placing a single hoof around Celestia’s barrel as he tried to hug her. She looked down at him, a few tears landing on his head.
“Sorry,” he apologized, pulling away. “I… I’m not very good at…” This was all he could get out before Celestia pulled him into a much tighter hug, smiling even as she wept.
“It’s alright,” she breathed. “You’re still here. You saved Clockwork’s life… everything is alright, as long as you are still here,” she murmured, nuzzling him.
Something stirred inside Miracle at those words, something that had been cold and dead for so long that he hardly knew what to make of it. All he knew was that, for the first time in over a decade, tears were running down his face. He felt… warm. Not just from Celestia’s body heat next to him, it was something more than that. Something that burned through his entire body, suffusing him with a feeling of… of… what? He couldn’t describe it. He couldn’t even describe what it was similar to, because he had no words in his lexicon to explain it. All he knew was that he rather liked the feeling. He wanted more of it.
…He wanted a lot more of it.
Far away, Chrysalis paused. She sniffed the air, confused. “That…” she trailed off.
“Is something wrong, Your Majesty?” a nearby drone whispered.
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, then smiled. “No,” she answered, looking in the direction of Celestia’s palace. “No, it’s not.”
"Everything is going exactly according to plan."