//------------------------------//
// Farewells and Schemes 
// Story: The Chaotic Three: A Zany Story 
// by LunaJack 
//------------------------------//

The express train to Canterlot chugged into the Ponyville station right on time.   Jewel, for one, would not have minded it being late.  Rarity, Fancy Pants and Gemstone took turns hugging her goodbye.
“I love you, my darling,” said Rarity with tears in her voice.  “Please, take care.”
“I will,” she promised.
“My little filly,” said Fancy Pants, sniffing.  “We'll see you at the Gala!  Try to save a dance for your old father.”
“Of course, Daddy.” Her bottom lip trembled.
“I'll miss you, little sister,” said Gemstone, holding her tight.  She turned her head to kiss her cheek then placed her mouth close to her ear.  
“Zany told me to give you a message,” she whispered.
“What is it?”
Gemstone chuckled.  “He said to be sure to look out the window as you leave Ponyville.  That's all.”
Jewel nodded, wondering what the self-proclaimed Crown Prince of Chaos was planning to do.
“Miss Jewel?” A large black unicorn with a short cropped silver mane stood looking down at her.  “You need to get on board now if you want to make that dinner in Canterlot.  There will be photographers when we get there, of course, so you must look your best.  Your beautician and dresser are waiting for you in the car.  In Celestia's name!  You didn't go off your diet, did you?  That dress will never fit if you did!”
“It's all right, Goodnight,” said Jewel, smiling her most winning smile.  “Everything is fine.  May I introduce you to my family?”
The unicorn stallion snorted.  “We don't have time for this! Now, get on board.  Hup! Hup!”  Jewel squeaked in embarrassment as he nudged her rudely in the cutie mark.
“I beg your pardon!” said Fancy Pants stepping forward angrily.  “No pony mare-handles my daughter like that!”
Goodnight glared down at the white unicorn stallion.  He was bigger than Fancy Pants but he noticed the white unicorn's horn was already charged and ready to fight.  
“I apologize,” he said with a little ironic bow.  “But we are late.  Good day!” With that, he spun around and followed Jewel into the train car.
Fancy Pants glared after him, his teeth bared  and his horn glowing brighter every second.  Rarity stared.  Never had she seen her urbane husband so enraged.  
“Darling?” she said quietly, placing a hoof on his shoulder.  Fancy Pants startled at her touch.  Some of the anger left his eyes and his horn slowly powered down.
“Oh, Rarity,” he said, dropping his head.  “What have we allowed our daughter to get into?”



	

“Soooo, how was your visit?” asked a buff colored earth pony as she wet and shampooed Jewel's mane.  “You get to see those friends of yours?  The dragon pony and the dracon...uh...the one with the crazy magic.”
Jewel smiled.  “Oh, yes.  It was like old times.  Only we're not foals anymore.  Zany has grown into a dashing young colt.  And Applespike...” her smile wavered a little.  “Is as sweet and wonderful as ever.”
“You get into any mischief?” asked a cream colored unicorn filly as she levitated three different outfits for Jewel's perusal.  
“Maybe,” she chuckled.  “Where is Goodnight?”
“In the dining car, talking to some muckity-mucks from the fashion scene.  So, spill it!  What did you and your friends do this time?” 
Jewel told them all about the dinner party, the enchanted spoons, the multicolored bubbles, and the beating poor Zany had received at the hooves of the sweet Cinnamon Roll.  The two mares almost rolled with laughter.    
“You have some crazy friends,” said the buff colored mare, wiping her eyes.  “I wish Picture Perfect would let you visit Ponyville more often.  You look so much happier.”
“Yes,” said Jewel quietly.  “So do I.”
“Hey!  What's that?”
Jewel lifted her soapy head from the basin and looked.  Both mares were staring out the window at a gray colt with a pink mane who was flying right next to the train.  Jewel shouted and waved.  Zany smiled, flashing his fang.  He was wearing flight goggles and a harness with a long rope trailing behind him.  
“What is that crazy colt doing?” the unicorn mare wondered.   Jewel wondered the same thing.   Zany pointed to her with his hoof then pointed behind him.  Jewel looked and let out a gasp.  A huge bird shaped kite hung in the air several feet above the train.  Tied to it was a thoroughly frightened but very determined light brown pony with a green mane and dragon's tail.
“Applespike!” Jewel shrieked, waving to him.  The dragon pony waved back, a sick smile plastered on his face.   The two older mares, who of course had never seen either pony before, stared in wide-eyed surprise.
“Celestia on her throne!” breathed the earth pony.  “And I was starting to think they were just some tall-tale you invented!”
“That gray one is flying without wings!" cried the unicorn mare.  "How is he doing it?"
"Chaotic magic," answered Jewel with a shrug.
"Wow!  I've never seen a pony who could do magic without a horn!"
“What is the meaning of this!”  All three jumped as Goodnight burst through the door. “I have a train car full of the most prestigious ponies in the fashion world and there's a blinking freak show going on outside!”
“They're not freaks!” said Jewel angrily.  “They're just my friends seeing me off.”
“Well that is just what we do not need,” said Goodnight, glaring out the window.  His horn glowed bright yellow.  Jewel watched as the rope connecting Zany to the kite suddenly burst into the flames.  They all heard a far away cry of fear as the rope turned to ash and the kite nosedived towards the earth.
“No!” Jewel screamed, banging her hooves against the glass.
Zany did a neat u-turn  and zoomed toward his friend.  
“He'll never make it!” cried the unicorn mare, covering her face with her hooves.
POOF!  A giant marshmallow appeared under the falling pony.  Applespike belly flopped safely into the soft stuff and lay still, too shocked at his sudden brush with death to move.
Jewel went weak with relief.
“Now, the show is over you can get back to work,” Goodnight snapped at the two mares.  He used his magic to yank Jewel away from the window and place her back in the beautician's chair.  “Get that soap out her mane and condition it well.  I won't have it looking like she's been living on a farm.  And make sure her hooves are presentable.”  He turned on the unicorn mare.  “Use that lavender dress with the diamond shaped jewels.  And make sure it is pressed and ready to go.  And pick out a hat.  The bigger the better.  You know how they are in  Canterlot...”
“You!” Jewel shouted, rising from the chair.  “My friend could have been killed!  What were you thinking?”
“Thinking about your image, my dear,” said Goodnight over his shoulder.  “And what Picture Perfect would say if he knew about this.”  His horn glowed again and Jewel was forced back into the beautician's chair.  “I'm sure you wouldn't want that.”
Jewel quietly laid back and let the buff pony rinse her hair.  With all the water splashing her face, no one noticed her tears.





"Marshmallow.  Of all the things, it had to be a marshmallow."
"It was the first soft thing I could think of," said Zany, clenching his teeth as he concentrated on levitating Applespike out of the sticky confection. He could have just banished the marshmallow, but he didn't want to risk accidentally banishing his best friend.   He gave an extra hard pull and the dragon pony slowly emerged, covered head to hoof in blobs of melted marshmallow.         
"Now I know what a s'more feels like," Applespike grumbled.  
"Hey, it's not my fault you belched fire when you landed!" said Zany, grinning.  He conjured a box of graham crackers and a pack of Horshey's chocolate bars.  "Want some?"
"Sure."  Applespike shrugged.  Zany scraped some of the melted marshmallow from his friend's back and slapped it on two squares of crackers and chocolate.  They ate their s'mores in silence, watching as the train disappeared over the hills towards Canterlot.
"By the way," said Applespike after a while.  "What the hay happened to the rope?  I was scared half out of mind up there, but I don't think I breathed any fire."
"You didn't," said Zany, frowning furiously.  "It was that big unicorn stallion in the car with Jewel.  I saw his horn light up right before the rope caught fire."
Applespike's jaw dropped open in shock.  "You...you mean he did it on purpose?  Holy smokes!  I could been killed!"  His reptilian eyes turned a brighter shade of green.  Little tongues of flame darted between his clenched teeth.  "Wait till I get my hooves on him!"
"Stand in line," growled Zany, smoke billowing from his ears.  "No one endangers my friends or ruins one of my stunts and gets away with it!"
"I didn't even get to show Jewel my banner," Applespike added, pulling a long, bedraggled piece of cloth from the mess.  
JEWEL, WILL YOU DANCE WITH ME AT THE GALA?  It read.
Zany patted his friend comfortingly on the back.  "That's okay.  You'll still have a chance to ask her at the Gala.  And I'll have a chance to get even with that unicorn stallion.  I've got to think up something extra special for him."
Applespike grinned.  "Like a little...FIRE?"
Zany gave a wicked laugh.  "My friend, I like how you think!"     





“And it was the most outrageous behavior I have ever seen in my life,” Rarity declared angrily.  She, Twilight,  Applejack, and Fluttershy sat in the sauna with Twinkle, Cinnamon Roll, and Gemstone.  All seven lounged on the benches wearing white robes, their manes wrapped in turbans.
“My goodness, that's awful!” said Fluttershy.  “What did you do?”
“Too be honest, I was too shocked to do anything, Darling,” said Rarity.  “I mean the brute just poked her in the flank like she was a sheep or something!  Thank goodness Fancy Pants was there to defend Jewel from that ruffian.  He was so angry, I thought they might duel right there on the platform!”
“Fancy Pants?  Really?” said Applejack, trying not to laugh.  “Oh, come on, Rarity.  You exaggerate a lot, but Fancy Pants dueling?  That's just too much.”
“I am not exaggerating!” said Rarity indignantly.  “I promise, you would not have recognized him.  He was that angry.”
“It's the truth,” said Gemstone nodding.  “I've never seen Daddy like this before.  He was in that stallion's face, his horn lit up and everything!  He made that nasty stallion back down and apologize...though I think the brute was being sarcastic when he did it.”
“Well, I'm not surprised at how Fancy Pants behaved,” said Fluttershy, placing a hoof on Rarity's shoulder.  “That is his daughter and a good father will always defend his little girl.  Discord always defended Screwy, and still does.”
“Thank you, Fluttershy,” said Rarity, giving her friend a nuzzle.  “I know Fancy Pants was unhappy that we were only able to see Jewel for a day.  How I wish we had never allowed her to sign that contract with Picture Perfect!”
“How did that come about again?” asked Twilight.  “Didn't Jewel meet him at the School for Gifted Unicorns?”
“Yes.  He was in Canterlot 'scouting for a new face', he said.  He discovered her when he was touring the school.” Rarity smiled sadly.  “I was so happy for her.  She wasn't doing as well at the school as she had hoped, so this seemed like a good opportunity for her.  We never dreamed that contract she signed would be so exacting!”
“Oh!  Is that why she hasn't been back to Ponyville in three years?” asked Fluttershy.
Rarity nodded.  “I don't know what Picture Perfect has against Ponyville.  I mean he's taken her to Appleloosa, and that's much more back woods than here!”
“Hey!  That's my family you're talking about there,” said Applejack, frowning.  
“I mean no offense, Darling,” said Rarity soothingly.  “But it is smaller than Ponyville and they don't have any boutiques, spas, or anything that would interest a pony like him.  Yet, he had no problem taking her there for a photo shoot with Stud Muffin.”
Only Cinnamon Roll noticed her mother stiffening at the mention of the stallion model. 
“They're quite the pair, ain't they?” said Applejack with a forced smile.  “Always going to parties and events together.  She must really be keen on him.”
“She hasn't spoken to us much about him, but according to the magazines, it's a real romance.  The handsome star stallion and his flawless filly.  I'm quoting the magazine, of course	, but it is a rather flattering description.”
“Yeah,” said Applejack under her breath.  “Nice.”
The Southern pony was truthful, but that didn't mean she would share her thoughts and fears.  Especially not with Rarity.  She would never want the unicorn to know that Applespike, the offspring of Spike, was desperately in love with her daughter.  Or that she feared that Jewel was playing with her son's affections.
“Getting back to the contract,” said Twilight.  “How much longer does Jewel have before it ends?”
Rarity sighed.  “Three more years.”  There was a gasp from the other mares.  Twinkle Sparkle, who had almost dozed off listening to the banter, suddenly snapped to attention.
“Three years?  You mean she signed a six year contract?”
“Yes, dear.  Picture Perfect insisted on it.”
“Oh, my,” said Fluttershy, looking distressed.  “The contract I had with Photo Finish was no where near that long!”
“He said that's the way it's done now,” said Rarity, sighing again.  “Six years and she has to do as he says.  Meetings, photo shoots, special diets.  It's ridiculous!  Jewel's always been a healthy weight!”
“I thought she looked kinda skinny,” said Cinnamon Roll.  “She sure tucked into that food last night.  I hope she doesn't get in trouble for it.”
“Oh, I'm sure it will be all right,” said Rarity, shrugging.  “It will take more than one little dalliance to affect her dress size.”
The mares continued their conversation but Twinkle Sparkle did not join in.  Something Rarity had said about the contract bothered her.  She wasn't sure what it was, but she believed she could figure it out once she got back to school.   The school itself was closed until after the Grand Galloping Gala, but she would still be able to get into her room and access her books.  	She glanced guiltily at her mother.  Twilight was enjoying her visit, and would be very disappointed if she cut it short.  Oh, well.  It wasn't that urgent. 
“Twinkle?” The little alicorn jumped as Twilight nudged her.  “Are you dozing off again?  Rarity asked you a question.”
“Oh, I'm sorry, Aunt Rarity!  What did you ask?”
“I just wanted to know if you had a colt friend lined up for the Gala, Darling” said Rarity smiling, slyly.  “Jewel will be with Stud Muffin.  Gemstone will be attending with a friend from Canterlot...”
“Green Clover,” said Gemstone quickly.  “He's into lucky charms.”
“So, we were wondering if you had a date, Darling.”  All the mares looked at Twinkle expectantly.  The young alicorn blushed and looked at her hooves.
“No, I don't have anyone lined up.  I wasn't planning on attending but Mom begged me and Princess Luna insisted I go this year.”
“Yeah, Twilight said you were Princess Luna's prized pupil,” said Applejack, patting her heartily on the back.  “That's pretty high honor.  We're all proud of ya.”
“Thanks,” said Twinkle, blushing even harder and hoping they didn't ask any more questions.  “So Cinnamon Roll, do you have a colt friend lined up to dance?”
The little brown filly stared at the group like a deer caught on the railroad tracks with a train fast approaching.  “Uh, yeah.  I have....some...one lined up to dance with me.  If he doesn't change his mind, that is.”
Applejack gazed lovingly at her daughter.  “I'm sure he won't, sugarcube.  Even he does, I'm sure you'll have lots of colts fightin' for the privilege to dance with you.”
Fluttershy giggled.  “Keep cooking like you do, and you'll be married to one before you know it!”
Cinnamon Roll blushed a reddish brown.  “Aunt Fluttershy!  Really!”
Twinkle grinned mischievously at the yellow pegasus.  “I'd like to see what you cooked to snag Uncle Discord!”  Fluttershy blushed as the mares giggled.
“I'll have you know, Twinkle, that my wife is a fine cook.  She makes delicious pies!”
The mares all gasped and turned to a steam-shrouded corner of the sauna where a long, lean figure was lazily reclining. 
“Of course, she could bake a cake using cement and Froggy Bottom mud for icing, and I'd still have married her.”
“Discord!” said Fluttershy, stuck between wanting to chide him for spying and basking in his compliment.  “How long have you been here?”
“Not long,” he said in a bored tone.  “I just thought I'd stop in and see what you gals were up to.  And you were right, Twinkle,” he added winking at the little alicorn.  “They do talk about us!”
“Oh, come off it, Discord!” Applejack snapped.  “We know that you fellas talk about us whenever ya'll get together by yourselves.”     
Discord shrugged.  “Oh, I talk about you all even if I'm by myself.  I'm more free with my comments that way.  Now, Twinkle Sparkle,” he added, looking at her slyly.  “What is this I hear about you not having a date for the Gala?  A lovely filly like yourself could surely find some colt to dance with.  I'll bet Canterlot's just full of them!”
“So is Ponyville, Uncle Discord,” she replied innocently.  Only Discord noticed the sly look on her face that mirrored his own.
“Yesss,” he answered slowly.  “But, there is something you should know about the colts here in Ponyville.”  He leaned in close and spoke in a stage whisper everyone could hear.  “They are ALL highly poisonous!”
Fluttershy rolled her eyes.  The other mares stared at the draconequess in confusion.  What the hay was going on?  Twinkle just giggled and patted his eagle claw.  “Oh, Uncle Discord!  If that were true Dinky would be dead!”
There was a moment of total silence as this sank in then every mare burst out laughing.  Tears rolled down Rarity's cheeks.  Applejack lay helplessly on her back, her legs kicking as she guffawed.  Twilight snorted, pounding the bench with her hooves.  Fluttershy giggled so hard, her  whole body vibrated.  Only Discord remained sober, though Twinkle thought she saw the corner of his mouth twitch.
“Such a little wise pony,” he muttered.  “Must have inherited it from her father's side.”
“That's enough, dear,” said Fluttershy, finally getting control of herself.  “Leave Twinkle alone.”
“My darling,” Discord purred sweetly.  “I am only trying to ascertain that this mischievous little alicorn has no designs on our son.”
“What!”  Twilight's eyes became round as soup bowls.  “My Twinkle and Zany?  Oh, no!  No.  No. No. No. No!” Twinkle squeaked as her mother wrapped her hooves around her neck and pulled her tightly against her.  “There is no way my daughter could possibly have designs on your son.  No offense Fluttershy!  But there is no way, none what-so-ever, that Twinkle would even think of dating Zany!  Isn't that right, Twinkle?” she added, squeezing her daughter harder on every syllable.
Twinkle croaked.  “If I say 'no way' will you let go?”
Twilight quickly released her hold.  “There!  You see?  Nothing!  Ab-so-lute-ly nothing between them.  At all!”
Twinkle looked from her mother's crazily smiling face to Discord's frowning, suspicious  one then looked at the ground.  																																																			                   “Yeah,” she said quietly.  “Nothing at all.”