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// At Least It Wasn't Aid For Tax Issues! 
// Story: I'm Not A God! 
// by jwizard 
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Oh, you’re still here huh? Thought you might have left while I was busy in the village.

So, where were we? Princesses, right?

Let’s see here; we’ve covered where I first met them, and the first time I helped Celestia. That leaves Luna, Cadance, Twilight, Twilight again, and Sunset Shimmer.

*snickers*

That look on your face; Priceless!

But it’s not a joke; there are actually two alicorn Twilights. Granted, the one only has her wings when she visits Sunset in Equus, but she’s still an alicorn.

How did she and Sunset ascend? Well, you’ve seen the movies, right? Well, there ya go.

Specifics? Aw, you’re no fun!

Alright already!

*sigh*

Sunset’s transformation into Daylight Shimmer was an ascension. When she crossed over to Equestria, her reunion with Celestia actually took place in the Astral Plane.

As for Sci-Twi, her’s is both because of what happened at Camp Everfree, and because she’s Twilight’s alternate.

So what Sunset saw in the Mirror was true; she was destined to be an alicorn.

Anyway, let’s get back to Luna.





Of all the alicorn princesses I’ve helped, the one I’ve helped the most would have to be Luna. She’s the one that has had the hardest adjustment; plus, some of the tasks appointed to her by Equestria’s government were ones that she was woefully unprepared for.

The first time she and I met was shortly after that first Nightmare Night. I’d spent that day waiting for whatever it was I was supposed to do; I’d once again woke up as an alicorn.

While tending to my garden, I heard a series of clopping hooves on the cobblestones behind me. Turning around, I saw a midnight-blue alicorn mare standing there, looking both bashful and vulnerable.

“H-Hello, Keeper,” she said softly. “M-Mine sister tells Us-- er, tells me, that is --that you can provide help in exchange for payment.” I nodded, causing her to smile shyly.

“Well, it is like this; the Equestrian Council- Damn them to Tartarus -hast given me a sundry list of tasks on top of mine duties. This is in addition to what I need to do in order to better acclimate myself to these modern times.” She scowled. “While I most certainly have no need to bow to them, it would be political suicide to refuse.”

I made a face. “You’re not suggesting that you want help with taxes or some such nonsense, are you? I’ve just had to deal with all of that myself, and would rather not have to do more.” She made a face at that.

“Neigh, that is my sister’s concern at the moment, for which I am glad.” Luna sat down and pulled a scroll and several small books from her saddlebags. “No, what I need is advice on whether what I have here is right or not.” She levitated the scroll over to me.

I took it in my own field and unrolled it. Frowning, I could see that it was a royal proclamation concerning Night Court. I looked at Luna with a raised brow. “Where did you get the idea that I could provide any help with something like this?” She scoffed.

“Oh please; it’s well known that you were skilled in such matters, King Able Hooves,” she said in a teasing manner. I blushed.

“W-well, that was a long time ago, but I can still do my best.” She smiled prettily at me, then opened the first of her books.

For the next couple of hours, I used both my knowledge of Equestria’s current nobles and my experience as a ruler to help Luna choose members for her court. Most of those were easy to settle; however, the position of Court Secretary was troublesome.

“None of the ones listed in these books are at all suitable! And I cannot wait for any graduates; mine Court must be formed before the Winter Equinox!” Luna stomped her hoof. “Stuck on the same point!”


While she pouted, I went over my mental list of those young nobles that could fill in until a more suitable pony was available. One stuck out; I started to grin, as I was pretty sure Luna wouldn’t agree with me. “Well, you could always go with the Undersecretary of Foreign Affairs; his job is relatively undemanding, and I’m sure he’d be more than happy to help a relative.”

Luna looked confused for a moment, then started to scowl. “What, your not suggesting that pompous ass of a nephew, Prince Blueblood, are you?! Mine sister gave the same suggestion! Hel will freeze over before I work with him in any kind of professional capacity!” She stomped her hoof. “The way that he treated the Bearer of Generosity this past Gala was atrocious; that is no way for an heir to the Platinum line to act!”

“Which is precisely the reason why he acts that way Princess! That is what it is, an act; designed to foil the machinations of society leeches like Rarity, who only care about image!” I raised my hoof. “Yes I know; there’s more to her than that, but you can’t deny that she focuses way too much on superficial things. Even she admits it; reluctantly, when pressed.” I teleported a scroll from my bedchambers. “This scroll contains listings of major revisions to many of Equestria’s more sordid laws; many of which were changed or made better due to Bluey’s efforts. He is the best- not one of, but the best -administrator par excellence in the last century. Plus, his topographical-charting talents were instrumental in stopping a border dispute that could have brought war to Equestria’s borders.”

Luna ran a hoof down her muzzle in frustration. “I know all of this, Able Hooves! However, the way he treated one that I have come to know as a good friend is reprehensible! To even be cordial with him, he needs to tender an apology to Dame Rarity; elsewise, I will have nothing to do with him, nephew or not.”

“He already tried Luna; three times! Two written ones, and one where she slammed the door of her Boutique in his muzzle!” I glared at the Moon Princess. “I consider Rarity to be one of my best pony friends-- she’s always been a favorite of mine. That makes it all the more easier to see that she’s being inordinately stubborn in this instance, especially since Bluey is being the bigger pony here in trying to admit he acted the boor!” I stomped my hoof. ‘Besides, if I allowed personal dislike to get in the way of business, I’d never get anything done; at least three of the managers I work with on a weekly basis are people I heartily despise. I still work with them because they happen to be good at their jobs.”

Luna frowned thoughtfully. “As much as I hate it, you’re right; there are a number of other nobles that have done worse that I work with.” She sighed. “It’s just; the way he treated her was the same way that a pompous ass of a noble treated all but my sister ages ago. He was one of those that pushed me further down the path that mine addiction to Dark magic started me on.” She sighed. “I can also see where you say that Rarity was at fault as well.”

I shrugged. “It’s often hard for us to see the faults in those we admire.” Luna nodded.

Luna gathered all of her things before finishing up her cup of tea. “Well, I think that I will go with your recommendation, Keeper.” She levitated a crystalline bulb from within her saddlebags. “Here is mine payment; a Crystal Moonrose bulb from mine own Garden.” She floated it off to me and trotted off with a saucy swish of her tail.

After setting it aside, I went to take a cold shower; both her and her sister are horrible flirts.