//------------------------------//
// A tangled web of feelings. 
// Story: A Game of Homes. 
// by Lethrael 
//------------------------------//

A tangled web of feelings.

Scootaloo squeezed her eyes shut and fought back every single tear. She was getting more and more in the mood of talking.
“I...I mean, Mum had said, that she took just one day to check around shortly.
But now she wrote me...”
She spoke louder and louder and stood up.
“That she just could come to Ponyville now and then.
And she has cancelled her first visit, because...”
The filly trudged through the room, trampled headless over the carpets, rumbled over the wooden floor aside them 	and raised her tone in an angry way. The little wings on her back buzzed and wind blew through an open window behind her. The wind brought in a smell of clouds and a sparkling sound.
“But I can't be angry with her because of that, or can I?
She didn't become ill on purpose I think and...”
Scootaloo lowered her voice, sneaked to the window and took a short glance outside. Her wings flattered for the last time and started to tremble again.
“But I am disappointed and...”
A whisper interrupted Scootaloo's very fast avowal. A gentle fluttering sound filled the air and a warm hoof placed itself around the filly.
“Hurt?
I truly understand that.”
The little pegasus squirmed herself out of the touching hoof and flinched a few steps away. Fluttershy sighed, but nodded. Scootaloo couldn't face either one of the mare, she searched for a spot in one corner of the room and looked down on it, as it would be the most interesting point in the whole village.
“But...that isn't what I really feel.
I'm...am...am... I just don't know.”
She couldn't let her face stayed on the boring corner much longer and faced Twilight instead. The mare tried to calm herself with her waving tail. She looked up to the ceiling and searched something there, words, or a safety spot. She didn't get anything. The fluttering sound returned behind Scootaloo, but this time nopony touched or hugged her. Fluttershy stepped in the line of sight between Twilight and Scootaloo instead, shielded both from the other one and kneeled down in front of the filly. The yellow mare pressed her wings gently against her body and tried to calm down her own trembling. She avoided to look into Scootaloo's face, but as she spoke again her line of sight changed. She looked over the filly's nostril and stayed on her wings finally .
“You're hurt. When you're mad or sad about it, it will be okay.
You should simply know...”
Scootaloo stomped her hoof on the ground and flapped her wings once.
“I'm not mad.
I just don't know what I suppose to be.”
Twilight sighed and sneaked aside Fluttershy. She kneeled down too and smiled hesitantly to the little filly. Her tail didn't stop to wave and her front hoof drew two lines on the ground.
“You're feeling lonely, lost and...”
Scootaloo drooped her head slowly and started to breathe in and out heavily. A blast flew over her and the mare and she raised  encouraged her head again.
“I'm not feeling lonely.
I'm definitely not homesick.
I want...I just want...”
A sob burst out of her, but she still fought back the tears. Fluttershy raised slowly and tried to touch her with one hoof. Scootaloo flinched away much faster and glared at her.
“I mean...Sweetie Belle is right, but...how can I be homesick?”
Twilight looked at her very confused and shook her head a little bit.
“But I thought, you aren't homesick.
Spike had said...”
The filly stared shortly to the unicorn and nodded weakly, as she answered with another thump of her hoof.
“Spike is right, too.
I'm sad.
But this isn't...”
Fluttershy breathed in deeply and came closer to Scootaloo. She lifted her head with one hoof and smiled gently in her face.
“I...I...I'm so sorry.
I have seen myself in you and thought, what I would feel in yours stead, 
would be obviously the problem you struggled with.”
Flutterrshy's look trailed to the ceiling and her hoof trembled shortly. But it changed quickly. She smiled very gently and tried to catch the filly with one wing.
“C'mon...c'mon please sit down and I will listen to you, if you like...
Please tell me from the start on...”
Scootaloo flinched away, the last smile was just like one of her mum and an undesired memory found it's way in her head.

“Mummy, uhm...the other fillies in the foggarden are calling me Wingloo and didn't want to play with me.”
She had hemmed and hawed around and thought for a long time, if she should tell her mum that. But she felt safe and loved, as she snuggled aside her Mum's flank and her wing warmed her like a fluffy blanket. So she couldn't help but to whisper. The answer sounded silently in her ears, as she began to fall asleep.
“I'm sure they will stop this soon. I'll speak with...”

Scootaloo shook away the following memories and looked down to the ground. Her tail scared a few other feelings away and her wings trembled in a failed attempt to calm herself.
“I just don't know how often I must tell this and it changes nothing...
I just don't want to.”
The last words fled her mouth, but another sub followed and her eyes were filling up with tears again. Fluttershy turned over to her chair, sat down and looked back to Scootaloo.
“You don't have to, if you don't want to.
I will wait and when you're ready you can tell me.”
Scootaloo looked up and faced the yellow pegasi in confusion. She chewed on her lips shortly and turned over to the door. The bunny stand there, folded his arms around his small chest and shook his head. Before the filly was able to take one step further, he jumped at the key and locked the door. Before he could pull the key out of the lock a purple light levitated him and the key.
“No, no no, Angel, when she wanted to go, we won't stop her.”
Scootaloo skulked slowly to the door, raised one hoof to push it open, but she trembled more and more by every step. She bit her lips again and closed her eyes shut to fight back more tears. Her wings stopped mid air,  as she spoke and was forming new clouds with every sentence.
“I want to change.
I want to be like Rainbow Dash.
As brave and as fearless as she is.
I just don't want to be...me.”
She mumbled, before she...turned over again, went slowly back to the couch and snuggled into one corner. Twilight stood up and looked out for another seating. She sat down on a chair and levitated the cup of tea to herself. Fluttershy took a sip on her own, pushed a plate with cookies closer to Scootaloo and wiped over her mane with the same hoof. The filly needed time to fight back her feelings and both mares looked at her trembling body in silence, as Scootaloo managed to fight her feelings down again and started to tell everything so far in a silent tone.
“..then Twilight had brought me here, because she thought, that you were able to help me.”
Fluttershy blushed slightly and bit her lips. She stopped quickly and whispered something.
“Do you think, Sweetie Belle was right and you are actually homesick?”
Scootaloo opened her mouth, closed it, pondered and repeated it again and again.  Finally she knew what to answer.
“No, yes, I think...Oh I don''t know. 
It doesn't feel like homesickness. 
There is much more.”
Twilight interrupted her with a single question.
“Are you feeling lone...”
Fluttershy's faced the other mare and stared at her. She stopped quickly and looked down at her cup again. No matter how soft Fluttershy usually was, her glance was surprisingly firm. This couldn't stop Scootaloo from thinking about the question for a long time and finally answering with a similar sentence.
“Yes, no, it...it is here.”
She laid a hoof against her head and clinched her teeth. Fluttershy answered with an understanding smile, flew on the couch and opened her wing. She cocked her head though and searched for the filly's eyes.
“You're feeling all of this, don't you?
You can't tell what you're solely feeling, 
because every feeling is tangled with so many others, right?
Everyone of us had seen one side and tried to calm it down.
Spike had tried to appease your sadness and wanted to help you with friendship.
Sweetie Belle had seen your homesickness, but she couldn't help you, or could she?
Twilight thought, that you're feeling lonely and tried to help.”
The unicorn nodded and sighed silently. She whispered.
“I thought, that a book could help me, but I've underestimated those feelings.”
Fluttershy nodded too and smiled down at Scootaloo.
“And your aunt wanted to support you and tried to ease your guilt.
But there is more, right?
It's a mess of feelings like anger, fear and lost, isn't it?
The feelings are turning and wanted in way too many directions at once, am I right?”
Scootaloo raised her head, stared at the smiling pegasus with an open mouth and half open wings. Finally she nodded with tears in her eyes. She sobbed and with a gentle grip of her wings, the yellow mare pulled Scootaloo at her chest and covered the filly with one wing. The warmth and the silence, but in particular the yellow light, that felt through the feathers reminded Scootaloo of her mum and no matter how good she had tamed her feelings till this point, her strength faded. A voice sounded dump on her ears.
“I'm sorry Twilight.
I think you've to set aside your assistant for a while.”
The wing wiped softly over her head and this was the last blow to take away her resistance and Scootaloo snuggled closer into the coat of the hardly known, 	but also strangely familiar and friendly pegasus mare. She cried into her coat and sobbed loudly.
“Sh, it is okay, Scootaloo. It will be alright.”