//------------------------------// // Unsure // Story: Hard To Find The Right Words // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// *Door opening click* “Yes?” “It’s me, Common Crest.” “And still as backed up as the last time we saw each other… or you saw me.” “Two seconds.” “What?” “The time you needed to make me want to go away and let you wither in here.” “I’ll note it as my personal best. Anyway, if you’re here to threaten me then don’t even bother.” “To be honest, I’m happy nopony got seriously hurt. I don’t really want to ruin my mood by thinking about who caused it and how.” “You can go on and punch me like the bat did, I won’t resist… nor really care..” “Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m here. No matter what happened, Bladehoof should have controlled herself better. Hitting a harmless prisoner is against the regulations.” “Calling me harmless hurts more than any beating I could go through, and, honestly, if you’re more mad at her than at me then you are crazy.” “It might be surprising to you, but I am. You see, she’s supposed ot adhere to a strict moral code unlike you. Being angry that you did what you were expected to is a waste of time and emotions.” “Is that all? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still quite enjoying your distraction from the voices in my head reminding me I am now completely worthless to anyone.” “Which brings me to the second reason for coming.” “Because you didn’t last night?” “I choose to ignore that comment about my not entirely successful love life.” “That completely accurate comment.” “Look, do you want to go outside for a while or not?!” “Is there an ‘I don’t care either way’ option? Whether you impale me on a pike in the garden or let me sit here until mold grows on my chitin, it doesn’t matter to me.” *Sigh* “You’re testing me, changeling. Puff came to my office and begged me to take you outside so that you’re not super gloomy anymore. His words, not mine. And you just can’t say no to that guy when he does the puppy eyes.” “...yeah, he got me even without those...” “What did you just mutter?” “That I’d need some heavy drugs from your Palisade pony’s stash to celebrate my incoming death- HEY! What do you think you’re doing?” “Unlocking the shackles. I’m sure you know the next step.” “Hmph, you’re getting better at carrying a limp mare on your back. Training for the inevitable time when you slip some pills into a mare’s drink in horny desperation?” “...” “Okay, keep that furious breathing to yourself, I was kidding… mostly.” “I would NEVER do that, changeling. I don’t know what you think about ponies, but forcing myself on somepony is something I’ll never stoop to. EVER. No matter what.” “Gee, I struck a nerve there. Guess you’ll be needing the sunlight a lot more than I now.” “...a changeling putting my morals into question...” “Alright, I’m sorry. Aaaand I almost fell down with that sharp stop. Did I piss you off even more?” “Did you just say ‘sorry’?” “No. Keep going. I’m sliding down from your back because you decided to stop on the stairs.” “I’m pretty sure I heard-” “Nothing. Keep going or I’ll bite you and make you.” “I would have never guessed that a word like that would be in your- ouch!” “Which part of ‘there is a changeling on your back with her maw next to your neck’ did you not understand? Now shut up and keep going.” “ Yes… I am walking now. Dizzy...” “Oh it was just a little bit of venom. Stop being a larva.” “Huh? I feel weird… but hey, I’m still me. I BEAT CHANGELING MIND CONTROL! Suck it, Palisade!” “She did, very much so.” “You’re a female. Wrong choice of words.” “You have no idea.” “I cherish my ignorance on that subject.” “If I wasn’t a pile of broken chitin, I would gladly enlighten you. I think you’d look great with a belly full of eggs.” “Last time you promised some brain egg injection thing.” “I’m not in any condition to hit a target of that size.” “You’re just sour I’m not your obedient toy like Palisade.” “You’re not obeying my every command only because I didn’t bother biting you hard enough, and you know why? Because I stand to gain nothing. I got all the love I could drain from the earthpony and I still couldn’t use it. My body is broken beyond repair no matter how much love I pour into it. My. Existence. Is. Over.” “You could have ordered me to go on a killing spree just for revenge.” “Don’t tempt me.” “Why didn’t you?” “Because I didn’t want to lie on the floor while you ran around seeing red and frothing.” “We’re heading through the main lobby now.” “I don’t give a-” “Hello again, miss angry. Hello again, mister Crest.” “Hi, Puff. Done cleaning?” “I’ve just put everything away. Unless you really need something, I’ll be going back for my training with mister Trail.” “...you’ll be much better off if you don’t learn anything from that crazy fanatic...” “I can hear you mumbling, changeling.” “I can feel your wings brushing against my thighs.” “That’s for support.” “Ooof course it is.” “Miss angry is already a lot more chatty than before. See? She’ll feel much better in the garden.” “Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it.” “...I can still be very unfriendly, pegasus...” “Off we go! Have fun, Puff.” “Bye.” “That was far more effective than I hoped.” “A mind-controlling creature whispering threats into my ear about forcing me to go berserk and kill my friends is not something I can just ignore.” “Now that’s the kind of respect I… don’t deserve anymore.” “Come on, if you hang your head in complete defeat like that it makes me feel bad for some reason.” “Perhaps I should have stayed with the paladin. It’d have been quicker and less annoying than this.” “We’re just trying to be accommodating.” “Why- aah?!” “Ow, my flank...” “Screw your flank, I thought I couldn’t feel my legs, but this hurt...” “It’s the damn safety door, it-” “Closes really quickly, I know, the bat told me.” “Hmm, now where to put you so that you’re out of sight?” “Just shove me into some tool shed or something.” “Don’t be like that or I’ll bring Puff to cheer you up again.” “I’ll bite you and make you fly into the sturdiest wall!” “That’s more like it. You mind lying on the lawn? I can bring a deck chair if it’s a problem.” “...somepony please grab a rock and bash my head in...” “Lawn it is then. Now if I just keep the wings up and bend at the knees, you might roll off of my back without too much- oops, sorry.” “No problem, I like the taste of dirt and… that’s not grass.” “Flowerbed. Some purple things with long leaves. Palisade planted then, I honestly know nothing about plants. “Great, when am I going to start seeing rainbow dragons?” “She’s not that one-dimensional. She likes normal flowers a lot for such a big and buff mare. Honestly, I would have expected swords and such to be her hobby, but no, it’s flowers. I guess it’s an earthpony thing.” “And that concludes the next edition of facts I couldn’t care less about. See you next week with ‘how much coffee does a batpony need to drink to stay awake for hundred and twenty hours straight’.” “I get it, you want to be left alone. Ah hah- there it is! I should have guessed Puff would put it away.” “I’m sure I’ll regret asking, but what are you talking about?” “This!” “Ah yes, I can hear the triumph in your voice and the desire to share this moment of minor victory with me, I can even imagine you holding up the sought object in your hoof for the world to know, but you might have forgotten I can’t see shit.” “It’s a dog leash.” “You exist to disappoint me, pegasus.” “No, you see,  I can’t just leave you here, but there’s a pole in the middle of the garden to which this can be attached.” “You think a dog leash would be enough in case this really was some elaborate ruse of mine to escape? You’re literally the worst police pony e- what the actual freaking kind of dog was this for?!” “The previous police chief owned a hellhound.” “This chain could hold an anchor!” “Ever seen a hellhound?” “No.” “Let’s just say the dog is responsible for my recent promotion and the sudden need for a new police crew for Riverside.” “There are spikes on this thing.” “He called the hellhound Fluffy.” “How did you ponies make it out of the stone age?” “Raw luck, according to our historians. Anyway, now that you can’t easily run off-” “I have a collar the weight of an anvil around my neck and I can’t move on my own. On top of that, if I believe in your ability to fasten a chain to a pole made for it, which is a big if at this point, I’m tied down harder than a ship in a harbor. You’re almost making me feel like a real threat again.” “See? Puff was right about you feeling better.” “...I hate all of you...” “So, as I was saying, I’ve got some work to do. I’ll come back to check on you in an hour or two.” “Good, I can still hope the sun moves enough for me to fry.” “An hour it is then. See you later.” “Don’t let the-” “OW- freaking, stupid murder door!” “Moron.” … “Finally, some peace and quiet.” “Kinda boring. The muffled town noises are no replacement for-” “Wait, did I just admit I miss their irritating yammering?” “I see, lost, alone and broken… I’m just going crazy, that’s all. If I could, I would facehoof.” “It… moved? Yes, here it is again. An inch, but my fetlock moved.” “Meh, may as well keep trying.” “Do or die, and I honestly don’t care which.” “Who am I kidding? I know the best shape I can ever get into again is a limping, blind cripple.” “Alright, do or die it is. And let’s hope for the latter.”