//------------------------------// // Fun and Games // Story: Spike's Doom and/or Destiny // by terrycloth //------------------------------// The journey west was long and tiring, mostly because Obvious Trader wouldn’t let them stop to rest nearly as often as they’d like, but it wasn’t particularly dangerous. There was the occasional encounter, but it was mostly with ill-equipped bandits or evil chickens. “Are we there yet?” Spike asked. Obvious Trader looked around, confused. “Do you see a mountain? Or did you perhaps think that our goal was an invisible mountain? I assure you that it is in fact quite visible.” “There’s some mountains on the horizon,” Derpy said. “Way to the south.” “Those are not the mountains we want,” Obvious Trader replied. “Death waits to the west. Which is why we’ve been going west.” Derpy flew up a little higher, to see if that would let her see farther. “Hey!” she said, “There’s a desert to the north!” “Is it full of pyramids?” Spike shouted back. “No, but I think there’s a town!” she flew back down so that she could talk at a normal volume. “Can we go check it out?” “Might be worthwhile,” Bon Bon said. “We’ve got some golz to spend from the bandits we’ve been fighting.” “Good luck convincing our taskmaster,” Moondancer grumbled. She’d been suffering the worst from the lack of rest stops. Obvious Trader paused. “Actually,” he said, rubbing his hooves together. “A stopover in Arena Town would be an excellent idea.” “Yay!” Derpy cheered. “Arena Town is a marvelous place for you to all rest in peace,” Obvious Trader said, grinning. “But we’ll have to push on twice as hard afterwards, of course.” “Yay,” Moondancer deadpanned. === Arena Town was a tiny place, but crowded. It was built on the shore of an oasis, with a few scattered palm trees for shade. The buildings were made of hardened mud, but seemed sturdy enough – but only a few shops had permanent buildings, along with the arena itself of course. Most of the population seemed to be living out of tents. There was a giant floating crystal for public use in the main square, right next to the arena entrance. “Ah, you look like warriors. Are you here to sign up for the fights?” asked a large burly earth pony, sitting at a desk near the door. “The entry fee is 500 golz for the team, but if you stick it out you can win some pretty nice prizes. You get more Arena Tickets for each battle you survive!” “What sort of prizes?” Bon Bon asked. “If you’d like, you can visit the Arena Shop and check them out yourselves.” He motioned to one of the larger buildings, with multiple floors. There was no reason not to check it out. Unless, of course, they’d been planning not to fight. === Derpy dashed ahead of the group, hooves on the counter, leaning towards the display on the back wall. Spike and Moondancer shared a look as they walked up and stood to either side of the enraptured pegasus. “I think she found something she wants,” Spike said. “A Dwarven Gonne?” Moondancer read from the plaque. “It’s a little miniature cannon!” Derpy squeaked. “Oh, I have to have it!” Moondancer looked down at the price tag. “It says 24 arena tickets. That sounds like a lot.” “It seems to be about middle of the road,” Bon Bon said. “I like the look of that belt, too. It’s supposed to increase strength and protect from status effects. Only 10 tickets.” “So I guess we’re fighting, then?” Spike asked. “Might as well,” Bon Bon said. “I’m guessing they have progressively harder fights, so we should be able to stop before we’re in serious danger. Or we could just press our luck since the Crystal is right there outside the door.” Moondancer frowned. “I don’t know. I’ve gotten used to not being stabbed.” “Don’t worry,” Spike said. “I’ll protect you!” She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Derpy seems to really want that Gonne.” === So they paid the entrance fee, and made sure to tap the crystal before heading into the arena. Bon Bon stopped before stepping through the gates. “What happened to the guide?” “Obvious snuck off right after we got into town,” Spike said. “I figured he had some of his own business to take care of.” “Maybe he’s sweet on somepony that lives here?” Derpy asked. “Hmm,” Bon Bon said, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll catch us and force us to head out long before we’re ready to leave,” Moondancer said. “Come on, let’s get this over with.” The arena looked a lot larger from the inside, although it might have just been the looming ranks of seats, most of them occupied, that created that illusion. An announcer stood on a high podium, and his magically amplified voice cut through the cheers of the crowd, “Wow, that sure was a bloody finish, wasn’t it folks?” The crowd cheered louder. “Now let’s greet our next victims – I mean, contestants,” he paused to read the name off a card, “The Heroes of Destiny!” “BOOOO!” “GO HOME!” “FREAKING POSERS!” “BOOO!” “Uh…” Spike said. “Huh,” Bon Bon said. “Not really the reaction I was expecting.” “And now we’re going to die,” Moondancer said. The Announcer blew a shrill whistle, to quiet the crowd. “Let the battles begin. Unleash the monsters!” A gate at the far end of the arena slowly creaked open, and out flew a flock of evil chickens. There were a lot of them – maybe a dozen? – but they were still just chickens. “I’m not sure whether to be relieved or insulted,” Moondancer said, pulling out a fire-pot and tossing it at the flock. The burning flames splashed across the poultry, setting them on fire, and the rest of the fight was just Spike pushing the burning chickens away with his shield if their panicked running happened to take them towards the heroes. “Well,” the announcer said, “I guess that was good for a warm up!” He paused awkwardly, but nopony laughed. “Right! Time for round two. Release the hounds!” The ‘hounds’ turned out to be pack of wolves, so it was more of a fight, in that it was an actual fight. It wasn’t a hard fight. Spike got their attention with a loud roar, then held them off with his shield while his friends picked them off one by one. None of the smaller wolves lived long enough, when focused, to get pulled away from the well-armored dragon’s menacing stance, which let Spike mostly concentrate on wearing down the biggest one, bleeding it with a dozen small cuts. There was one moment when the crowd cheered, as the Alpha Wolf, seeing that all the rest of its pack were dead, flew into a rage and picked Spike up in its mouth, shaking him around like a chew toy… but Moondancer hit it in the head with a rock – sorry, a ‘magic missile’ – and its eyes rolled up into its head as it collapsed. “I’m okay,” Spike said, prying himself out of the jaws, and waving. “A little slimy, though.” The unconscious Alpha Wolf was large enough that there was a slight pause while some janitors cleared the arena, sweeping all the dead bodies into a trench along the sides and dragging the still-breathing Alpha back underground. While that was happening, a pegasus dressed as an arena official flew up to them, a nervous look on his face. “Um… don’t take this the wrong way,” he said, “but there’s a slight problem with the Giant Floating Crystal.” “What sort of problem?” Bon Bon asked. “It… broke,” he said. “Shattered into a million pieces. We don’t think it’s going to actually bring anyone back in that state.” “So the fight’s cancelled?” Moondancer asked. “Oh, no, we couldn’t do that!” the pegasus said, with a shaky grin. “Do you know how much golz we’d lose if we had to refund all these tickets? No, we’ll have a priest standing by to raise the losers. We just needed to tell you not to kill them again after that happens, because resurrection is expensive and we don’t want to have to do it twice. Also, try to avoid beheading anybody? The crowd loves it, but it’ll probably mean that whoever you beheaded will stay dead. And absolutely no disintegrations.” “Got it,” Spike said. “We’ll stick to stab wounds and fire.” “If we stopped now, how many tickets would we get?” Bon Bon asked. “If you lose the next fight you’ll get two,” said the pegasus. “You can’t just quit, though. The crowd really wants to see you die!” “What do you mean we can’t –” Moondancer started, but the pegasus wasn’t listening, and she trailed off as her question was drowned out by the announcer introducing the next round. “Up next to face our… ‘Heroes’… the masters of mangling, the princes of pain, the dukes of decapitation themselves, let’s hear it for – the Executioners!” The crowd cheered as a trio of large orcs wearing black hoods and carrying halberds emerged from the dark gate. “Heh, the joke’s on them,” Spike said. “If they’re not allowed to behead us, those weapons are just going to be really awkward spears.” Unfortunately, it seemed that the arena staff had neglected to inform the orcish executioners of the new rules, because while one of them charged forwards to duel with Spike, the other two held their pole-axes out at arm’s length and started spinning around wildly, like giant whirling sawblades meandering in the general direction of the party. They had enough reach that there was really nowhere safe to run. Bon Bon managed to duck underneath the whirling blades, but Moondancer wasn’t as quick and took a solid blow to the side of her neck, sending her head flying across the arena to crack against the side wall. Fortunately, due to the skin-tight force field spell she’d learned and the uncuttable strands of her battle harness, the rest of her body was still attached, and she staggered back to her hooves, gobbling down a healing muffin that Derpy summoned for her. Bon Bon’s lasso lashed out and entangled one of the whirling orcs, tying his ankles together. He had time for a brief look of surprise before losing control and toppling over – then the butt of his halberd dug into the dirt and he lost his grip on the weapon, which started spinning on its own and sunk its axe-head into the small of his back with a loud ‘thwack’ as he faceplanted into the bloody dirt. Moondancer held her scythe out vertically, trying to parry the whirling orc, only for the halberd to chop right through the haft as if it wasn’t even there. Panicked, she dropped the two halves of her weapon and put up a bubble. The orc’s blade rebounded off the resilient force field, flew out of the orc’s hands, and spun around in the opposite direction, neatly beheading the orc and leaving his headless corpse to collapse in front of her as the head went sailing into the crowd. She held the bubble until the spinning halberd had come to a complete and final stop. Spike, for his part, had no trouble blocking the orc’s clumsy blows with his shield, and just stabbed him again and again until he died. He wiped off his sword on the executioner’s hood. “Sorry, girls, I couldn’t keep their attention this time… are you okay?” Moondancer rubbed the side of her neck, which still ached despite multiple healing muffins. “No. I think I’m ready to quit.” There was another long pause, and then the clean-up crew eventually arrived to drag the orcs’ bodies into the trench. The pegasus from before returned. “Wow! That was some fight. Are you ready for round four?” “We quit,” Moondancer said. “Get us out of here. “You can’t quit now! It’s just getting good!” Moondancer grabbed the pegasus by the throat and dragged him closer. “Who’s going to stop us?” “The… ballistae…” he croaked, motioning with his wings. Moondancer and the others looked up where he’d pointed, and saw a dozen ballistae pointing right at them, crewed by steely-eyed pegasi with their hooves on the trigger. She let him go. He rubbed his throat. “Don’t worry, you can quit after he next match,” he said. “And, heh heh, don’t worry about beheading that orc. It turned out it didn’t matter anyway.” “The crystal is working after all?” Spike asked. “Not exactly,” the pegasus said. “It’s just that our priest is having, um, technical difficulties.” “What kind of difficulties,” Bon Bon asked. “Technically, a priest has to be alive to bring someone back from the dead,” the pegasus said. “And somebody stabbed him.” “So you want us to fight without a safety net,” Bon Bon said. “And you’re not letting us say no.” “I’m sure you can win!” the pegasus said, patting her on the head. “We’re not going to risk any of our normal round-four opponents without a crystal or a priest, so you’ll just be up against another group of adventurers. It’s a completely fair fight!” Bon Bon lunged at him, but he was far enough out of reach to stay out of her grasp. “Good luck!” === The other group of adventurers being forced into the arena didn’t look any happier to be there than the heroes were. The two groups approached each other, staring each other down. They had a large armored earth pony in the lead, two pegasi with crossbows as backup, and a unicorn in the back, wearing wizard’s robes. “So… um…” Spike said. “Any chance we can pull our punches, and you can take a dive? Nopony has to die today.” “Any chance you could take a dive?” the earth pony retorted. “Rock paper scissors?” Spike suggested, holding up a fist. The pony nodded, and on the count of three, Spike held out his claw flat. “Paper.” The pony held up his hoof. “Rock. Damn it, I always lose that game.” === “That last fight was certainly… uh… something,” the announcer said, as the ‘unconscious’ ponies in the other adventuring party were poked back to consciousness and trudged through the gate. “But the ‘Heroes of Destiny’ win again! So… ‘Heroes’… do you have what it takes to face the ultimate challenge? For the greatest reward, are you brave enough to face the Master of the Arena himself?” “NO!” shouted all four of them in unison. “Let us out of here!” Moondancer added. “Alright then. You heard it folks, the little babies are going to take their toys and go home.” Everypony in the arena booed. “So much for them being ‘heroes’, right?” The boos got louder. Spike and the others didn’t even pause. “Just ignore them,” Moondancer said, as Derpy looked like she was about to cry. “I guess they need to go home to their mommies and suck on a pacifier!” Shouted the announcer after them, as they left through the door. It slammed shut. Obvious Trader was waiting for them, standing among the glittering shards of the Giant Floating Crystal. “Still alive, I see,” he said. “No thanks to the incompetent idiots running the arena,” Moondancer said. “Then let us be off!” he said. “We still have many miles to go if you are to arrive at your final destination.” “We need to collect our winnings,” Bon Bon said. “And rest,” Moondancer added. firmly. “No time, no time,” Obvious Trader said, looking around nervously. “No,” Derpy said, pressing her forehead up against his and glaring at him with her unpatched eye. “Time.” “For surviving four rounds… twenty-four tickets,” said the agent at the desk. Derpy snatched them out of his hooves with a high-pitched squeal, and flew off towards the Arena Shop. “So…” Bon Bon said, while they waited for her to return. “Trader. Do any good trading while you were in town?” “Yes… trading. That is what I was doing,” he said. “Since it’s in my name and everything. I was trading.” “How’d you do?” Spike asked. “Make a good profit?” “It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped,” he said, flattening his ears. The he gave a wide grin, showing his teeth. “But many more chances remain to accomplish my goals for this journey.”