Gilda turned to Pinkie and snorted, visibly annoyed. "Look honey muffin, for the last time I'm not gonna start saying 'everypony' because I’m not a pony. I don't even get that phrase anyway! There are cows, there are buffalo, there are dragons, sea monsters, and griffons, so why is the phrase everypony?"
Pinkie scrunched her face up against her fiance's, bringing them eye to eye and beak to nose, this was obviously a source of contention between the two.
"BECAUSE lovey beak I already told you, we're in pony ville. It’s a literal ville… full of ponies. We say everypony because were mostly ponies. Wouldn't you say everygriffon in Griffsdale?"
"No sugar lumps, you would say everyone so everyone around, no matter the creature, would feel included."
"But I’m not a one, I’m a pony! Animals aren't numbers, duh!"
“Ladies…"Rarity sighed, pushing between the two feuding feather brains "This is all very..... pointless and all, but you still have the little matter of the venue to decide. I mean why just have it at sugarcube corner dears? We have more than enough room here! And since I am the most elegant pony here I would definitely be the right person to plan the affair as well.”
“Umm… hello! I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm the prevalent purveyor of pony parties! If anybody is gonna be planning the super ultimate party, it should be me.”
“But it’s YOUR party dear. Planning parties is your job. It’s something you work very hard on. A wedding is a time for you and the one you love to enjoy a day and spend time together. So you are not allowed to raise a single hoof. Now we are going to get the details of the party settled and I shall take care of everything myself.”
“Oh Rarity, your such a good friend!”
“I know dear. And as it were, I’ve been meaning to put my hat into the ring to host more elegant events. Fluttershy and Macintosh had such a quiet and modest affair. Ever since I did the decorating for the summer sun celebration I’ve been meaning to plan an extravagant spectacular affair of my own…or… for a friend of course.” She smiled sheepishly at this mistake.
The interior of her boutique was currently filled to the brim for the occasion. Elegant fabric swatches in every color were lined up on a cork board with notes as to which would look good for table dressings, which for chairs, and various other little notes. There were sketches of Gummy's tuxedo blown up several hundred sizes to be able to fit Gilda’s larger frame, and a few different ideas of dresses for Pinkie pinned to it, each with its own swatch of color to make the white of a wedding dress look as vibrant and joyful as its wearer. This was only their second session consulting with the dressmaker but she was already working diligently on getting things done. At this rate everything would be ready within a couple of weeks.
Rarity scuffled about the mess looking for something, and when she found it she seated herself on a chaise lounge that appeared out of nowhere, smiling at them expectantly. "So what would you like to see ladies?” Rarity asked, a notepad and quill magically floating over to her.
"Well I want the wedding to be really shiny, and pretty, and fancy like the gala!" Pinkie declared joyously as she hopped up and down. Gilda merely nodded in complacence. Whatever her Pinkie wanted, her Pinkie would get.
"Yes darling, but any specifics?"
"Ooh you remember all those shiny glittery chandeliers on the ceilings at the gala? I want those!"
Rarity nodded jotting this down.
"Ooh and you remember those huge pretty bouquets of every kind of flower that were there? I want those!"
Rarity smiled at her excitement and continued scribbling. "Anything else?"
"Ooh and you remember all that fancy super expensive richy rich pony food that was there?"
"You want those?" Rarity answered.
"No I hate that crap. But the plates and silverware were mega super duper cute! I want those!"
“Miss Gilda, you’ve been awfully quiet. Is there anything you would like?”
“Well…. I mean the griffon family crest should be on some of the decorations. It would really make my mom proud to see us represent it.”
Pinkie and Rarity were both beaming at her, their excited gazes digging into her like diamond dogs. A family crest. She had never really mentioned her family to Pinkie before or talked about them much in therapy. For the first time in days she was beginning to let more walls down.
“Anything else? Anything else!?!?” they squealed in unison.
“Oh uh….could we have corn dogs? They’re my favorite food but I know they aren't fancy or…”
“Anything you want!” Rarity gasped scribbling down the words “10lbs of corn dogs.”
“Oh, and could we have lots of gold stuff? That seems fancy and it’s a really cool color…. If it’s not too much trouble.” She mumbled, blushing.
Pinkie kissed her on the cheek and held her close. “Nothing is too much trouble to do for you sweetie. Not ever. So don't be afraid to ask for things if you want them, ok?”
“I don't want to get too bossy again. Fluttershy taught me that I need to think about other creatures feelings first if I want to be able to talk to them without blowing up again. I guess some of her personality is starting to rub off on me.”
“Miss Gilda, I have an idea” Rarity piped up, putting away her notepad. “Sweetie Bell and the other crusaders are having a slumber party tonight. How about they have it at your place so I can get started on your tuxedo? It’s my experience that being a babysitter is a fantastic exercise in compromise, command, and control, and you’ll get an excellent lesson in teamwork.”
The two exchanged uneasy looks. Something about the way Rarity said that sounded…desperate.
“Are you really sure about that Rarity?”
“Why yes dear” She said smiling, already beginning to gather some of her sisters toys. “It’s worked absolute wonders for me and I'm sure it will do the same for you. Just look after them dutifully and I'm positive you’ll be a better couple for it.”
“Rarity can I have some chocolate milk?” A small voice called from upstairs.
“Shut up you ratty little cur! Go do your homework!” She screamed, shoving an overnight bag at the confounded couple and pushing them out the door. “Oh don't worry dears. One night with that little angel and your relationship will be stronger than ever. I’ll send the girls by your place around six. Trust me, you won’t regret this.” Her left eye twitched in demented repression as she slammed the door in their faces.
They listened at the door for a moment still worried about what could come of this. There was a torrent of squabbling voices rising inside, with the angry pounding of hooves stomping upstairs shaking the boutique. The words “Kiss my flank” were just barely audible and punctuated with a slam of a door and the piercing raucous of breaking glass. A torrent swearing that was definitely Rarity’s bounded back down the stairs and through another door. Weather they agreed with the situation or not, they didn’t have much of a choice.
***
Rainbow dash had bid farewell to Applejack and volunteered to walk Spike home. The little dragon was racing headlong into puberty and if he pinched any more flanks this week he would likely end up on a wanted poster. They walked silently through Ponyville enjoying the calm summer afternoon, watching the other ponies go about their daily business. They waved at Ditzy Doo as she delivered the mail, helped Granny smith with her groceries as she tottered down the street, and almost got bowled over by Doctor Hooves as he raced past, ranting about things called Cybermares and waving around a screwdriver. Rainbow Dash noticed Spike stopping to gaze at Bon Bon’s flank as she trotted past him and decided this would be a good time to pick up some conversation.
“So Spike, got any fillies you plan on asking to the wedding yet?”
He grimaced and kicked a pebble out of the way “Nah. They all respond the same way you and AJ did so I think I might just give up. You get sick of being kicked after the 14th time or so.” He slumped against a street light, letting himself slide to the ground in despair. “I mean what’s the point anyway? Since Rarity started dating that Pokey guy I’ve lost the love of my life. I might as well run away to live on a rock farm for the rest of my days.”
Rainbow sighed, wrapping a wing around the little dragon and pulling him into a hug. He snuggled against her side sniffling. He cried a lot since he saw Rarity and Pokey Pierce kiss at Fluttershy’s wedding and he had never experienced that kind of heartbreak before. “Listen kiddo, if anypony can understand your heart break it’s me. I'm the coolest pony in all of equestrian and even I got my heart broken. You think I liked seeing Pinkie and Gilda all loved up back there?”
He shook his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I guess not…”
“Your damn right I didn’t. I met Gilda when I was about your age and we dated all through flight camp. She was my first girlfriend ever. Sure I’ve had crushes since then, but when she and I got in that fight at Pinkies party it really hurt me.”
“So how did you get over it?”
“I….well I…I don't know.” She muttered in realization, slumping to sit beside the dragon. “I guess I'm really still not over her.”
“Well that’s comforting.” He grumbled, crossing his arms “Now I know I’ll grow up to be sane, well-adjusted individual.”
“HEY!” She exclaimed, eliciting stares from passing ponies. “I am not some kinda sad sack who just gives up when she has a problem. Gilda and I broke up long before she came back to Ponyville. She was a loud jerk who was always playing mean pranks on people and calling them names. She didn’t just magically turn into a jerk when she got here. Wait a sec… Spike I think I have an Idea.”
“Yes let’s forget about my deep emotionally scarring problems and focus on yours.”
“Believe me Spike, I have a solution to your problem too, but first I think I know how to stop this wedding from happening.”
“You’re gonna keep talking, even if I really don't care what your plan is wont you?”
As if answering she pulled him into an even tighter hug, crushing his spines against her side. “You and I are gonna spy on Pinkie and Gilda and see if Gilda is still a jerk in private. Just because she isn’t evil in front of everypony doesn’t mean she isn’t evil at all.”
“I don't know Rainbow dash… I get into enough trouble for peeping as it is. Besides Gilda’s beak is really sharp. I don't know if I wanna do anything to make her mad.”
“Aaah don't worry kid” She giggled, ruffling his spikes “If she eats you, that’s just proof that she’s is still a jerk and it’s a win win.”
“What!?”
“Nothing.” She leapt on top of the street pole and posed majestically letting the breeze catch her wings and fan them out like a flag. “Now come on. We’re gonna sneak over there tonight and see what she’s up to. It is my job as a loyal friend to Pinkie to keep her from marrying that crazed up cornflake. By the honor of Celestia, I shall cease this wedding!”
“Uh huh… you still didn’t apologize for kicking me in the face earlier.”