Oh, hey! Sorry, almost didn't see you there. Been having too much fun running around killing these weird freaky maggot monsters, you know? Man, this is WAY more fun than the shit I usually deal with! Even though they don't cut so easily. But that just makes it more fun when I make these fuckers bleed, am I right?
So yeah, anyway. I'm...not actually supposed to be in this story, I guess? And that's cool I guess. That's cool. I mean sure it's A WHOLE LOT OF FUN HERE, but, you know, whatever. Guy behind the keyboard doesn't want me here, I can dig it. I can dig it.
Which totally SUCKS by the way, because it's not even just about the killing, have you seen these candy colored horse girls? Man! I want some of that. Especially that pink chick, I bet we could paint the town red and fuck each other raw AT THE SAME TIME, but this whole place is like, one step above Disney, so maybe she's not so into that UNLESS...
...yeesh, no, sorry, bad thought. That Cupcakes shit is too messed up even for ME. Uhh...where was I? Oh yeah, horse girl pussy. And speaking of, that Sunset Shimmer...UNFF...11/10 would hit. But then again, I hear she's into like, massive horse cock, and, welllllll...teeeeeeeeeeeeeny inadequacy issues there, maybe.
But yeah, man, I love crossovers. Holy shit, is this ever the crossover to end all crossovers, I mean, I thought being in those Capcom games was, but MAN, this place! I mean you've got your Hasbro and your Disney and your FUCKING POWER RANGERS and Pokemon and DBZ and MEGA MAN and, I mean really, it's just...oh wow, you wouldn't believe the stuff you haven't even seen yet, it's just incredible! But I guess I'm not supposed to talk about that stuff LIKE THAT COULD EVER STOP ME!! Because I'm—
Wait, is that a masked wrestler over there? Oh, sweet! Love me some lucha! Yeah, think I'm gonna grab some nachos, sit on the sidelines, enjoy the show, then pop on out of here and head back to my own universe.
Oh, don't give me that "you're stuck here because of Discord's left nut" crap. You think a little thing like that is gonna keep me from going wherever the fuck I want?
I'm Deadpool, son.
...What, did you think I was Mexican Santa Claus because of that fucking Feliz Navidad song? Nah, I've just had it stuck in my head for like, the last six weeks.
It had been thirty minutes since their plane landed. Sweetie Belle, her parents, and Hotaru fidgeted restlessly, as did the other passengers.
"When are they gonna let us off this plane?"
"What's the holdup?"
Variations of the same question rippled throughout the cabin.
A flight attendant scrambled into the front of the cabin and grabbed the public address microphone. She took a moment to collect herself, then said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the inconvenience, but there is a situation on the tarmac and—"
An earthshaking roar from outside the plane interrupted her. Even muffled though it was by the plane's hull, it startled the passengers with its ferocity.
The attendant coughed. "Our flight landed before we received the advisory, so we've been forced to taxi away from the terminal at this time. Other flights were diverted away. I'm afraid we won't be able to approach the gate for disembarking until the emergency situation can be—"
Something hit the plane with a solid *THUNK*. Several passengers screamed.
Sweetie Belle and Hotaru scrambled to look out the plane's small windows. What they saw outside made Hotaru gasp and Sweetie Belle shriek in fright.
An enormous, muscular beast was prowling the tarmac. It looked like a humanoid tiger with red and black fur; its arms, legs, and tail were striped, while most of its torso had solid black fur with darker black markings along its rippling abs. The black fur on its otherwise red head was arranged in such a way that it almost resembled a mask or cowl; its red eyebrows joined a red stripe down the center of its head to form a vaguely anchor-shaped crest. A wide orange belt sculpted to look like dancing flames circled its waist. Each of its massive paws boasted thick, sharp claws. Its green-on-yellow eyes burned with feral intensity above a maw full of wicked fangs.
"Not another monster!" Sweetie Belle whimpered.
Hotaru frowned. "This one feels...different somehow," she said. "I'm getting a different sense from—"
The tiger monster let out a roar to the heavens, and a broad spray of flames erupted from its belt. The half dozen or so airport security officers who had been approaching it hastily backed away, guns drawn and trained.
"I should get out there," Hotaru said firmly. "I could—"
And then a yellow blur came out of nowhere and slammed into the monster.
* * * * *
Incineroar picked itself up with a grunt, clutching its spinning head, and turned around to roar a challenge at whatever had dared to attack it.
A powerfully-built man stood nearby, chest heaving as he planted his booted feet in a wide, strong stance. He wore dark blue tights, black boots, and white wristbands. His upper body was entirely bare, displaying heavy, sculpted muscles and a thick, corded neck. His face was covered by a mask fashioned to look like a fierce Bengal tiger.
"Shikkarishiro, TaigaaZaDaaku!" Tiger Mask shouted.
Incineroar snarled at him. "Roar, CIN! CINEROAR!"
Tiger Mask took a step back, eyes wide. "You...you're not Tiger The Dark...!" He shook his head. "You're not...you're not human, are you?"
"ROOOOOOOAR!" Incineroar charged, outstretched claws glowing black; Tiger Mask ate asphalt as Incineroar slammed into him with the most devastating lariat he'd ever taken. Incineroar's clawed foot slammed into his back once, twice, a third time...
Tiger Mask rolled over before the foot could come down again, launching himself upward in an impossible vertical double heel press that slammed into Incineroar's jaw, staggering it. Seizing the opening, Tiger Mask got to his feet, grabbed Incineroar's face, and headbutted it viciously, then drove it back with a mighty kick to the chest.
"Cin..." Incineroar growled, clutching its chest. It glowered furiously at Tiger Mask, its tail lashing. "Cin cine ROAR cin CINEROAR!" It charged forward; man and beast grappled, arms locked in a power struggle, eyes locked in a battle for mental dominance.
Tiger Mask felt the heat building, but had no time to react; flames shot from Incineroar's belt, catching him in the abdomen and staggering him. He let out a strangled scream of pain as he patted down his singed, smoking abs. He glared at Incineroar with the fury of a jungle beast.
"For opponents who resort to dirty tricks, I show neither forgiveness nor mercy!" With that, he charged forward, launching into a rising knee which was met and countered by another Darkest Lariat. Grunting with the effort, Tiger Mask took the attack to his shins but grabbed hold of Incineroar's arm and flipped forward, jerking Incineroar off its feet and throwing it to the ground. Dashing over to a nearby stair truck, Tiger Mask climbed to the top of it and launched himself at Incineroar, which was just starting to rise to its knees. Incineroar had only a moment to look up with wide eyes at Tiger Mask slammed into it with a devastating moonsault. Incineroar grunted as it was slammed back to the tarmac; Tiger Mask locked the beast into an arm bar and pressed one knee into its spine. "Yield!" he yelled.
"ROAR!" Incineroar grunted. Flames burst from beneath it, flinging both fighters into the air. Incineroar used the surprise and momentum to break the arm bar and grab Tiger Mask by the shoulders; it savagely bit the wrestler's masked face, then flipped him upside down and piledrived him into the asphalt. Blood splattered on the tarmac as Tiger Mask cried out in pain, but he braced himself and planted his hands, using all the strength of his massive arms and powerful thighs to grab Incineroar in a scissor hold and reverse-suplex it to the ground. He then collapsed next to the beast, groaning and holding his head.
"B-both of you! Stay on the ground!" Tiger Mask looked up, his blurred vision swimming; as his vision cleared, he saw a half dozen uniformed security officers standing around him, guns drawn but shaking. "J-just...stay down, you're under arrest!"
"This match...isn't over yet," Tiger Mask grunted, rising to his knees and ignoring the chorus of clicks. Beside him, Incineroar jumped up, tail swinging furiously, and snarled a warning at the guards. As they tensed to fire, Incineroar charged, arms glowing black as it struck all the guards in one fell swoop, sending their guns clattering to the ground.
Tiger Mask seized Incineroar by the tail and swung it like a hammer, sending it sailing into the stair truck; Incineroar snarled in pain as it crashed skull-first into the hard metal steps. Incineroar staggered away, clutching its head, and glared hatefully at Tiger Mask, who staggered forward, bleeding freely from a head wound. They stalked toward each other, wary and cautious; with the distance between them less than five feet, they charged and locked up again, nose to nose, teeth bared; their muscles rippled and bulged as they struggled with everything they had left for dominance.
"Well, isn't this interesting."
The tarmac shook.
Both warriors looked to a massive form that had just appeared. "N-nani kore?!" Tiger Mask whispered.
"Ciiiiiiin," Incineroar hissed.
Easily nine feet tall, the massive creature's muscles made the two wrestlers look like pipe cleaners. His tree-like legs ended in two-toed feet, while each of his four immense arms sported three-fingered hands with thick knuckles. His stern, imposing face was twisted into a superior sneer; his blood red eyes glittering with dark amusement. A long dark ponytail whipped about behind his otherwise bald head. He wore a broad studded leather belt, a blood red loincloth that draped between his thighs, spiked shinguards, and studded leather bracers on each of his four wrists.
In a deep, bass voice, he rumbled, "I am searching for a worthy challenger. Perhaps I will permit you the honor of painting this ground red with your blood."
Tiger Mask and Incineroar disengaged from one another, staring at the mountain of a creature. "Incin, roar, roar cin."
Tiger Mask looked from Goro to Incineroar. He clenched his jaw. He held out his hand to Incineroar. "Fight with me...brother."
Incineroar held his gaze for a long moment. Then, with a nod of respect, it clasped his hand firmly. "Roar."
Tiger Mask nodded, then turned to the new arrival. "I am Tiger Mask!"
Incineroar also faced the newcomer. "Incineroar!"
The newcomer nodded respectfully. "It is an honor to know the names of the next two opponents I will destroy. I am Goro, Prince of the Shokan, descended from dragons!"
Tiger Mask gave a grim chuckle. "A dragon...and we are tigers. Then this battle is destined."
"Indeed," Goro rumbled. "Then let the battle be joined." And with that, Goro launched himself high into the air and came down impossibly fast, like a meteor, right between the two Tigers, who leapt to evade his powerful leaping stomp. Tiger Mask grabbed Incineroar by the ankles and hurled it high like a missile; Incineroar charged dark power around its arms and landed a high corkscrew lariat which drove Goro back as he blocked with his left arms. With his right arms, he grabbed Incineroar and threw it to the ground, then stomped its head with a massive foot.
Tiger Mask bellowed a battle cry and launched himself at Goro, delivering a punishing double knee that he chained into a somersault and a double heel kick to Goro's unprotected chin. Goro stepped back, and Incineroar stood, bleeding from one eye; it bellowed an enraged challenge as its entire body burst into flames. "Incine...ROOOOOOOOOOOAR!" It tackled the staggering Goro to the ground, clawing and biting as the flames wreathing its body flashed out and engulfed Goro. After some struggling, Goro peeled the burning Incineroar off him and slammed it to the tarmac. Without giving Goro a chance to recover and heedless of the flames, Tiger Mask dropped an elbow on Goro's thick neck, then staggered to his feet and stomped hard on Goro's broad chest once, twice, and a third time.
Goro grabbed his ankle on the third stomp and slammed him headfirst to the tarmac, then stood up, the flames gradually guttering out. He watched his opponents warily, gesturing for them to attack. Tiger Mask and Incineroar stood, shaking and off-balance.
"Is that all you've got?" Goro rumbled. "Disappointing. Show me the true fighting spirit of a tiger!"
Sweat and blood streaming from under his mask, across which dark stains spread uncontrollably, Tiger Mask's gaze burned into Goro as his chest heaved. "I will show you a fighting spirit that even the Devil himself cannot destroy!"
Goro sneered. "I am the Devil."
Tiger Mask snorted. "You are a dress rehearsal for when I destroy the Devil with my own two hands."
He felt a paw on his shoulder. "Roar. Cineroar." Tiger Mask looked to his partner and nodded.
Incineroar climbed up onto Tiger Mask's shoulders, its body burning with a black flame aura that, incredibly, didn't burn Tiger Mask in the slightest—in fact, it felt warm and soothing, invigorating. With a roar, Incineroar launched itself from Tiger Mask's shoulders in a corkscrew four-fifty splash, body wreathed in black flames as it sailed toward Goro's throat. Sensing his partner's intentions, Tiger Mask charged in low, throwing all his weight and all his strength into the strongest kick to Goro's right knee he could manage.
Goro's knee buckled.
Incineroar broke through his guard and slammed into his throat.
Goro went down.
Looking at each other and nodding, Tiger Mask and Incineroar grabbed the stunned Goro by his arms, each seizing the two on a side, and hauled him over to the stair truck. Grunting and straining with the effort of lifting the massive monster, they repeatedly slammed the back of his skull into the hard metal stairs until his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell still.
The last of their strength used, Tiger Mask and Incineroar dropped Goro to the ground and slumped against the stair truck. They looked at each other, grunted, and shared a tired fist bump, then passed out to either side of their defeated opponent.