What?
It couldn’t be true.
Sterling, dead?
My father was dead?
Questions whirled through my mind, and it felt as if the world had stopped. No longer did I hear my mother’s crying, Topaz’s tearful hiccups, or the twin’s wailing. All that I knew was that the sergeant major was standing in front of me, and that he’d said that Sterling Silver was dead.
Suddenly, everything came back to reality.
“What do you mean he’s dead? Sterling Silver is too damn stubborn and resilient to up and die on us!” I stomped my hoof and stepped towards Comet Walker. Mother and Topaz were no longer loudly bawling, only holding each other as tears flowed down their cheeks.
Comet stepped inside the apartment, forcing me to take a few steps back as he shut the door.
“I understand that you’re in shock—”
“I’m NOT in shock,” I denied, shaking my head. My bangs flipped over my eyes and I lifted a hoof to brush them away. My hoof came away wet. Why in Celestia’s name was I crying?
“Colonel Sterling Silver was found in his office last night when he didn’t report to a meeting. He was slumped over his desk, the coroner believes it was a heart attack,” Comet continued, ignoring my outburst. My face and stance hardened, as my temper began to flare.
“Topaz, help Mother to our room and get her to lie down, maybe fix some tea,” I said slowly.
“But Aggie—” Topaz started.
“Now, Topaz.”
I waited until my mother and sister were gone before I addressed the sergeant major.
“You’re not telling the entire story, are you, Sergeant Major?”
“I’m not following,” he replied.
“My father was the epitome of health. He’s never been sick, he’s never been injured on the job. Neither he nor my mother ever brought up any health issues in my sisters’ or my presence. I know my mother well enough to know she wouldn’t hide something like that from us, and I, surprisingly, know Sterling well enough to know that he wouldn’t hide something like that from his wife.”
“I only know what was told to me, Agate. Your father was a friend and fellow soldier,” The sergeant major turned to open the door and stepped through.
“I truly am sorry for your family’s loss,” Comet Walker said, turning away from the apartment. “If you ever need anything, I’m here for you and your family.” I waited until he was down the hallway before slamming the door. As soon as it shut, my tough exterior cracked and I slumped down on the floor. I didn’t cry, but I really wanted to. Slowly, I rose to my hooves and made my way to my mother and sisters. They needed me and I was going to be there for them.
________________________________________________________________________
Family members, friends, and my father’s fellow soldiers stood in the large area surrounding Sterling Silver’s casket. The wind blew softly through the trees, and birds chirped as they flew through the air.
Mother had rarely stopped crying since Sergeant Major Comet Walker’s visit to us in Manehattan. That night, she had cried herself to sleep, Topaz and Penny doing much of the same.
I barely paid attention as the priest spoke. Between Boulder Moss cooing, blowing bubbles and wiggling in my arms and my whirling thoughts, it was amazing that I even caught one out of every twenty words the priest said.
The service finally ended, though not soon enough, and slowly all the attending ponies left, leaving only us standing by Sterling’s grave. Mother’s red eyes welled up once more, as she leaned into Gypsy’s embrace. Topaz and Penny held each other throughout most of the funeral and they were still attached to one another. Anvil and Shift stood stoically beside their wives, each holding their daughters.
Eventually, we made our way home. Food from neighbors and friends sat on the kitchen counters and table, though none of us felt like eating a bite.
Mother staggered up the stairs and turned towards Gypsy and Penny’s old room. She had not been able to bear being in her and Sterling’s room since we arrived from Manehattan.
Penelope sat down on the couch and I gave Moss to her, while Anvil sat beside her with Glory in hoof. Gypsy sat in Mother’s sewing chair and put Primrose on floor, who toddled over to Topaz to sit on her lap. Wind Shift stood beside Gypsy and nuzzled her cheek.
I stood in the doorway, looking at my sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephew. I swayed on my hooves as a sudden spell of dizziness overtook me. I knew I needed to tell them what I had done, but I wasn’t ready for the repercussions that were guaranteed to come the moment I opened my mouth.
“I’m going to be leaving soon,” I said finally.
“What do you mean you’re leaving? Now of all times?!” Gypsy jerked her head towards me, mouth agape.
“I joined the Royal Guard,” I declared. The room was still in stunned silence. Topaz stared at me, mouth agape. Anvil and Shift glanced at each other, looking as if they knew where this was going and were ready to make a hasty escape with their foals in tow.
Penelope smiled. “Aggie, that’s–”
Gypsy jumped up, causing Penny to pause and look up at our sister.
“YOU WHAT?! Of all things you could possibly do with your life, you join the freaking military. And on the day of our father’s funeral?!” Gypsy stomped back and forth. The others in the room stayed back, eyes wide, as the crazy mare practically sputtered and spit at me.
“Actually, I sent papers the day Sergeant Major Comet Walker brought the news,” I knew that would send my eldest sister into a frenzy.
“THAT’S EVEN WORSE! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE TO JOIN THE MILITARY WHEN YOUR MOTHER NEEDS YOU!” she shouted.
“SHE’S YOUR MOTHER, TOO!” I shouted back.
“I HAVE A FAMILY NOW!” Gypsy fumed.
“Then what are we?” Penelope asked, I hadn’t seen her get off the couch. She now stood behind Gypsy, a scowl burning in her eyes.
“If Aggie wants to join the Royal Guard, that is her choice. She’s stayed home longer than you and I combined. For six years, she’s stayed with them, putting up with Sterling all the while. Agate is twenty-one years old, Gypsy. She’s an adult, just like us,” Penelope glanced at me and smiled.
“So, you’re choosing her side,” Gypsy pushed, anger and a bit of betrayal in her eyes.
“I’m not choosing anypony’s side,” Penelope said gently. She looked at Gypsy a look of pity, “What’s happened to you, Gypsy?”
Gypsy took a step back and looked at Penny and I. Between the two of us, her eyes radiated with hurt and anger. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, as if to contemplate what to say next. Finally, she spoke,
“Shift, get Prim. We’re leaving,” Gypsy turned, only to run right into Mother.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?” Mother asked, a tinge of sadness in her voice.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Gypsy went to hug Mother, only to be pushed away.
“I won’t have sisters turned against each other in my house,” the yellow mare spoke, “As Penelope said, Fire Agate is an adult, which is more than what I can say for you right now. I believed I had raised you better than this,”
“Mom, you of all ponies should know that it isn’t a mare’s place—”
“ENOUGH, daughter. I’ve been married to that ideology for nearly thirty years. It died with your father. I loved him and Celestia knows I miss him so much it hurts my heart, but his thinking was old fashioned. These are modern times, I recommend that you get with it.
“As much as it pains me to say this, Gypsy, I agree that it would be best for you to leave,”
Mother’s words seemed to have struck deep in Gypsy’s soul. She looked at our mother, her eyes wide with surprise and hurt, she quickly opened the door and ran out.
Wind Shift carried Primrose over to the front door. Before following his wife, he turned to Mother.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Sunflower,” my brother-in-law sighed.
“It’s not your fault, son. Once my daughter sets her mind to a certain way of thinking, it’s hard to get her out of it,” Mother replied as she tickled Primrose’s muzzle.
After Wind Shift left, the house was filled with silent anticipation. Topaz sat on the floor, as still as a mouse with a cat after it. Anvil sat on the couch in a similar manner.
I let my hindquarters slip to the floor, as I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion.
“I think we should leave as well,” Penelope said finally. “Topaz, go get a few of your things, please. I think it would be best if you spent the night at the inn with Anvil and I,”
“Okay,” our little sister stood and went upstairs, pausing for a few seconds to hug Mother, who followed after saying her goodbyes to Penny and Anvil.
“I’ll be outside with the twins,” Anvil said as he placed a kiss on Penny’s cheek.
“We’ll be right out,” she smiled gently up her husband.
Once the door closed, I broke down. Tears fell and splattered on the hardwood floors. Penny sat down beside me, placing a hoof over my shoulder as she pulled me close. She waited patiently as every tear that I’d kept back over the past days, months, and even years were finally let loose. I cried for my father, weeping for my failure to make amends. I regretted every horrible thing I’d said to him and wished that things had been better between us.
“I don’t know what to do, Penny,” I hiccuped. My sister hugged me tighter, and laid her head over mine.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Aggie. That’s for you to figure out, but I can tell you one thing, and that is that I will always be here for you. No matter what happens, no matter how much you fail or succeed, because you’re my little sister, and I love you. You’re smart, brave, and stronger than the rest of us. Our father might have been the soldier, but you are the warrior. You’re going to do great things with your life, I know it.”