//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: October 11-18, It's About Time // Story: Yet Another Human In Equestria Story 2: Season of Chaos // by Bardic_Knowledge //------------------------------// YAHES 2: Season of Chaos By: Bardic Knowledge Chapter 5: October 11-18, It's About Time My entertainment centre's development was going slowly. I had managed to bring a few engineers and scientists into my Warlock's Generator project, which caused a great deal of commotion. Apparently, no one had ever considered trying to use rune-magic in the creation of technology. So, it seemed I really had set off a revolution, though the first thing all of them started working on was limiting the drain to purely ambient magic, as it was otherwise impossible to use magic on the Generator. Anyways, I'd had to give up on the lightbulb part of the experiment, but my patent (pending) on the device meant that if it went into full production, I'd get the credit and the cash. I also had an electrical engineer coming by in a week or so to talk about wiring up the centre. I had just copied down the centre's blueprints to a sheet of parchment when a flash of purple light heralded Twilight's arrival at my side. She looked a bit panicked about something. I only had to wait a moment to find out what. “Joe! I'm pretty sure you know what's going to happen, you've gotta help!” I raised an eyebrow. “Okay... Mind explaining further?” Twilight blushed and coughed into a hoof. “Um, yes. I was just visited by, um, myself?” Well. That was far earlier than I expected. Twilight continued. “She- I- she-.” Well, tried to anyways. “I generally refer to any other of myself as me. Mostly for our own amusement.” “Right. Anyways, I didn't look good. Eyepatch, bad hair-” “Scar, and spysuit.” We finished together. I continued. “Yes. It's About Time.” “I'm sorry?” I snickered. I hadn't meant to make that pun. “Sorry myself. I accidentally made a pun. The episode name is 'It's About Time' and I was making a comment about the event involving time.” “Oh.” “Anyways, I'm sure that things aren't going to be precisely as I remember. Mind showing me what happened?” Twilight nodded, and cast a quick illusion, replaying the scene from her perspective on an illusory screen in the air. She'd gotten a lot better at those since Trixie became her student. “-that could leave me a half-hour scheduling window!” The air in the room started to pick up. “Huh?” With a flash and a crackle of lightning, a Twilight Sparkle appeared before Twilight. She looked exactly the same was as in the future-historical records. “What's going on?” shouted perspective-Twilight. Future!Twi rushed forward. “Twilight, you've got to listen to me!” “Who are you?” Twilight asked, before declaring her future self scientifically impossible. I held up a hand and she paused the video. “First, a joke: 'says the magic unicorn.' Second, 'There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' Shakespeare. Finally, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.” A duplicate of myself appeared, waved, and disappeared. “Continue.” Twilight glowered a moment before rolling her eyes and picking up where she left off. ”Twilight, please!” pleaded Future!Twi. “I have a very important message for you from the future!” “You're from the future?!” asked Twilight excitedly. (To be honest, I'd be excited too) ”That's right. Now listen.” “What happened to you? The future must be awful.” Past!Twi's hoof temporarily appeared in the field of vision as she tapped on her cheek. “I should have listened to him in the first place.” Future!Twi muttered. “Look, I don't have much time.” “Is there some kind of epic pony war in the future or something?” “No! I'm from next Tuesday morning! Listen to me!” “I can't believe time travel's possible! How'd you- I- figure it out?” “Canterlot archives,” growled Future!Twi, obviously getting annoyed by all the interruptions. “Starswirl the Bearded wing.” “Does time travel hurt? All that electricity looked like it-” Future!Twi plugged Past!Twi's mouth with a hoof. “Ugh. I have a very important message, and I don't have a whole lot of time! Listen to me! When it comes to the future, don't-” Future!Twi disappeared. “Well?” asked Present!Twi. Okay, dropping the gag. “The future itself is always murky, even when we have my advantage,” I began, taking an authoritative tone and lecturing pose. “That being said, there's a good deal of good things that come out of this.” “Like what?” “Well, what's the first thing you'd do if I wasn't here to give you advice?” “Well, whatever it was had to happen within a week... But we don't know what kind of disaster it could be. So... Disaster-proof Equestria?” “That's something likely to help regardless of whether Future-Twilight appeared, wouldn't it?” Twilight looked contemplative. “I guess... But that really doesn't answer my question.” “Let's put it this way.” I cleared my throat, then adjusted my voice and quoted. “'People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.'” I smiled and dropped David Tennant's voice. “In other words, time is complicated. Because answer me this: where are the time travel spells?” “In the Starswirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot archives.” “How do you know that?” “My future self... told... me...” A look of dawning comprehension appeared on her face. “Correct. Basically, we've entered Ontological Paradox territory. Also called a 'Bootstrap Paradox' or 'Stable Time Loop,' the outcome must remain the same as the instigating event.” I sighed. “Which means I can't really help. As much as I'd like to.” I raised my eyebrows. “That being said, there's a couple points in your visitation that have definitely changed from what I know.” “Really? What points?” “Future you was far more abrupt, but the main point was the phrase 'I should have listened to him in the first place.'” I shrugged. “I can only guess what that's about, but I get the feeling the 'him' you were talking about was me. Could be wrong, though.” “So, you really can't help? You can't tell me what the disaster is?” “I can't. You'll have to figure out how to stop worrying and love time travel all on your own.” Twilight began walking away dejectedly. “That being said,” I continued, stopping her. “Anything in the here and now? I'll gladly give you a hand.” I lifted off the ground and floated beside her, summoning spheres of light in each hand just to look flashy. “So you just tell me what you want me to do for my part in disaster-proofing the country.” Twilight smiled. --- It was kinda surprising how much sway Twilight held in Equestria that we managed to get practically everypony (and other species) in the country in on the disaster-proofing session. Which meant that everything was as done as possible in about a day. Which was honestly kind of ridiculous. Even so, nobody but me (and Trixie, because I warned her; the Ursa left its mark on her psyche when it came to gigantic creatures) expected Cerberus to just charge into town and start chewing on things. As Pinkie panicked for the fun of it (again), and many Ponyvillians panicked for real, Fluttershy immediately calmed the three-headed canine down without any issues. When Twilight got an emergency ball from Pinkie and prepared to head off, I shrugged and moved to follow, creating a kage bunshin to inform Trixie. Along the way to the Gates of Tartarus, I had a conversation with Twilight about the parallels in Greek Mythology and Equestrian Ecology. Hydrae, Cerberus, Tartarus, unicorns, pegasi (though there was but one Pegasus in mythology), etc. and so forth. I even started in on a lecture about the history of the Greek pantheon, starting with the Protogenoi. The Gates of Tartarus themselves didn't look like a gateway at all. Rather, in the shadow of the Canterlot mountain range, there rose a monolith almost completely like the Space Odyssey one. However, I wouldn't call it black. The monolithic gateway was an unlight source that hurt to look at, the area surrounding it almost completely as dark as the Everfree Forest's depths despite the stars and full moon shining down. I was mildly surprised to discover that Twilight hadn't been there before, until she explained that such a prison was even less likely to have escapees if no one knew where it was, and she was the Princess' Prized Pupil and couldn't leave Canterlot without an escort during her learning years (not that she left it much anyways). Cerberus snuffled around the area, growling softly at one point, before sitting down in front of the Gate. Twilight left the ball with him as we left, after I pat all three heads, scratched them behind the ears and informed the giant dog that he was, in fact, a good boy. We travelled back to Ponyville on a conjured non-sapient flying carpet, since Twilight was tired from walking. As we flew low to the ground, Twilight explained to me that the Gates serve a double purpose. Not only are they nigh impossible to open from either side, requiring massive amounts of power equal to an alicorn, but if anything were to pass through without a specific item every speck of magic in them would be instantly drained completely. And in such a magic-saturated world as Equestria, few are the beings that could possibly handle losing all their magic in such a fashion, let alone doing so and having to contend with Cerberus on the other side of the door. We theorized that I could probably make it, though I would not have been able to open the Gates. We speculated on what could possibly have pulled Cerberus from his duties, but the magical beast was so well-disciplined that pretty much nothing we'd come up with or joked about was likely to do it. A mystery for the Royal Guard and Celestia, I suppose. The next morning, I separated from Twilight at the edge of Ponyville to go home and sleep. It would be another three days before Twilight was seen in public again. Not counting her trip to “Madam Pinkie's” while I was asleep. --- As it so happens, I was in stopping by the library at the same time Pinkie passed by, having just finished my latest stack of borrowed books. As I should have known, I was greeted by the sight of Twilight flitting between telescopes and making feverish notes on all sorts of esoteric data. “Twilight's really serious about finding out about that cool birthday present, isn't she?” asked Pinkie, looking at Spike. “Who cares?” retorted Spike, eating from a carton of partially-melted ice cream. “As long as I can keep eating ice cream. Sorry, future Spike.” I sighed. “Twilight-” I started. “Ah, good, I'm glad you're here,” babbled Twilight. “Can you calibrate-” followed by some technical jargon I probably could have puzzled out if she hadn't been slurring slightly from the lack of rest. “Twilight-” I tried again. “I've been thinking since Madam Pinkie and the flowerpot – see the bandage? Same one!” “Nice!” cheered Pinkie. “I had an epiphany, you see, if doing something didn't change the future, and not doing anything didn't do it either, then the only recourse left to me is obvious!” She grabbed me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes with her own bloodshot orbs. “Monitor everything,” I said with her, though I was markedly less enthusiastic about it than she was. “Twilight, I thought I-” “That way,” she interrupted, “no matter-” This time, fed up, I pinched my fingers together, willing my magic into holding her lips shut. “Stop.” I growled. “Interrupting. Me.” After a moment to regain my composure, I continued. “Twilight. I told you, when this whole thing began, that we were in the middle of an Ontological Paradox. You cannot change the outcome of this week. It is impossible scientifically, metaphysically, and mystically. This week ends, with you in the Starswirl the Bearded Wing, casting a time travel spell on yourself to talk to yourself, starting this whole chain of events. END OF LINE.” After a moment, I released my hold on her. She sat, stunned, for a few moments before sighing. “But, how will I know what went wrong so I can fix it if...” She trailed off. This time, I sighed and sat down beside her. “Twilight, I get where you're coming from. If this universe wasn't apparently run with an Immutable Fate type of time travel, I'd be right by you in trying to avert a disaster. But, at this time there's only one thing we can do: close the loop.” I looked at the stunned-silent Pinkie and Spike. “Pinkie, mind getting out an emergency eyepatch?” “Sure,” said Pinkie, zipping over to the fireplace. “But why? No one needs it.” “Because the future me had one,” said Twilight, rather morose, before she perked up. “Wait, why did you say 'Immutable Fate type.' There are multiple kinds of time travel?” “I've actually been writing some stuff on that lately,” I admitted, as Twilight put on her eyepatch. “Going over the various forms of fictional time travel I've read about, I've come up with a list dealing with such things. I'll tell you all about it on the way to Canterlot.” “Ooh! Can I come, too?” asked Pinkie, eagerly bouncing in place. “Sure. Spike needs to come with as well.” I stood up and dusted myself off, once again manifesting a kage bunshin to explain things to Trixie. “Now. We've got a train to catch.” --- Suffice to say, we made it to Canterlot really late, and by the time we reached the Starswirl Wing it was around four in the morning. I circumvented a good deal of the ridiculousness by straight-u pasking the patrolling guard for permission to enter, which he only gave after Twilight stepped out of the shadows, as well. We hunted around the stacks for a good hour and a half, the sun rising just before Pinkie managed to uncover the scroll. I greeted the Princess as she walked through the gardens just outside the window (she had no reason to be in a restricted section of the archives at that hour), and she in turn complimented Twilight on her post-apocalypse chic. As predicted, Twilight realized what a massive idiot she had been over the last few days (sleep deprivation can do that to a person), and gingerly took the old scroll from Pinkie before casting the time travel spell. As Twilight disappeared into the past, finalizing her Stable Time Loop, I grabbed the scroll the spell was on. There were two spells on the scroll, the first was the one-use-only time travel spell, which could also only target your personal timeline, so you'd appear for a short time in the vicinity of your past self before being rubber-banded back to your present. The other was a single-use reality transfer spell. I had a ticket back to Earth, but it was one way. And I couldn't do that. Not to my pony friends, and especially not to Trixie. Why were both of them only one-use, though? And how'd the writer know that if they weren't designed that way? With a gust of wind and a flash of light, Twilight returned from the past. “-Waste your time worrying... about...” she face-hoofed. “I can't believe I just did that!” “Did you tell her about the cool birthday present?” asked Pinkie. Must be good, considering how insistent she is. “No,” I replied. “She just closed a Stable Time Loop.” “Huh?” The others glanced at me. “And a good thing, too. Remember, you told yourself that the spell to take you back in time was here. If you hadn't done that, you would never have known to find it and go back in time to tell you how to find it. Oh, and you never would have caused yourself to go mad with worry and come here in the first place. Major paradox.” Twilight sighed, “And now I'm going to spend the past week freaking out about a disaster that's never going to exist! And you even warned me that things weren't as bad as they seemed.” “Which is precisely how you learned to not worry,” I countered, smirking, “and learned to love time travel. Let the past worry about the past, the present worry about the present, and the future worry about the future.” Twilight shot me a glare and opened her mouth to say something. “Urrrgh,” groaned Spike, his spoon clattering to the floor. “My stomach! It must have been all the ice cream. I thought the stomach-ache would be Future Spike's problem, but now I am Future Spike.” “Someday, I really need to talk temporal mechanics with someone,” I muttered as the others laughed and prepared to leave. I held up the scroll. “Just a sec, guys. There's something else on this scroll.” I explained about the reality transfer spell, and the issue with using it. “Let me see that again,” asked Pinkie. I handed it over and she hmmed, before looking at Twilight. “Hey, Twilight, what do you think would happen if you sent Joe back in time to before he arrived in Equestria?” I froze as Twilight contemplated the question. “Well,” she said, “it would either fizzle out, since it wouldn't work past universal barriers, or...” “Or it could send me to Earth before I got here, and then I could cast the reality spell on my past self, closing my own Stable Time Loop!” I finished, eyes wide. “This explains how I got here! I sent myself!” “Why didn't you tell yourself that?” “I fell asleep almost the instant the marathon had finished, I never would have seen myself to explain. Twi, if you can cast that time travel spell on me later, I'm going to write a note first and leave it for my family to find, along with something that had to have come from here and nowhere else. That way, they won't worry so badly.” “How about a picture?” asked Pinkie, holding up a random camera. “Wouldn't work, Pinks. Photoshop, remember? Let's just head back home. I'll think of something eventually.” With a snap, the scroll's text was duplicated onto a spare in my pocket and all the various books and papers were returned to their shelves.