//------------------------------// // ...and when issues crop up, ya try ta keep a level head... // Story: Pest Control // by Masterweaver //------------------------------// The farmer let out an exasperated sigh as she walked out the door and beheld the array of friends, family, hired staff, and media reporters surrounding the building. She didn't really mind--weddings, in her mind, were important and worth celebrating--but even with something that could reasonably be argued to be an extremely important occurrence, she couldn't help but think that maybe some people were blowing this a touch out of proportion. Rolling up her metaphorical sleeves, Applejack started pushing through the milling crowd. "Scuse me. Pardon me. Just gonna do a thang, won't be a moment. Scuse--" "Saint Applejack! Why are you leaving?" Applejack paused, turning to the bespectacled little girl in a tiara that was staring up at her with weepy aquamarine eyes. "Aw, shucks, Ah ain't leavin'. Ah just gotta... handle a lil' problem that cropped up. Ah'll be right back for the wedding, promise." "Really?" "Really really." She glanced about. "Um... are ya'll alone here?" "Oh no. Daddy and father are... somewhere..." She frowned, a bow of light extending from her neck as she rose to look around. "I don't know where they are, though." Normally Applejack would have offered to look after the girl herself until her parents could be found, but she wanted to get the thing with the weevil over and done with as soon as possible. "Oooookay. They're probably inside, then, why don't ya'll head thar and--" "Did you really defeat the shadow-weaver of the dark crystal?" "...whut?" "A lot of people said the dark crystal that attacked Canterlot High brought a shadow-weaver," the little girl explained. "And you're the seer of truth, you had to have done it right?" "Um." Applejack looked at the little girl's pale, eager face. "Ah... guess you could say Ah knocked her out, yeah--" "That's so cool!" the little girl screamed, her lightbow practically buzzing with excitement. "Yeah, cool." Green eyes went to the mountains as she started pushing through the crowd again. "Look, Ah really have ta--" "You're the bestest saint!" "...The bestest, huh?" "Well yeah." The little girl buzzed after her as she continued on her way. "Daddy says everyone is the bestest at something, and all the other saints are the bestest at being things that aren't saintiness. Saint Dash is the bestest at awesome, Saint Rarity is the bestest at pretty, Saint Pinkie is the bestest at... silly, I think? But you are the bestest at saintiness." "Bestest at saintiness." Applejack chuckled. "Quite tha glowin' review, miss...?" "Oh! I'm Zipporwhill, Zipporwhill Acapella Nightjar-Robin-Starchild nee Wastebasket." "...Wastebasket." "On account of the person who brought me to the orphanage found me in a dumpster." Zipporwhill shrugged. "I think I was thrown away cause of my condition, which means whoever made me aren't good parents at all, but I've gotten over it." Applejack looked at her askance. "Yer... condition?" "My body doesn't make chromelanin," the little girl explained. "Isn't it obvious?" "...Huh. Funny story." Applejack gestured at herself. "When Ah was a lil' girl, mah parents went through some hard financial times and got me a bit o' super cheap soap. Didn't realize that it had hydroquinbione in it, washed the chromelanin right outta me." Zipporwhill gasped. "Really?" "Eeyup. Used ta be orange as... an orange. Now Ah'm pale and proud o' it." "Wow. I've never met anyone else who didn't have chromelanin! I thought I was the only one in the city!" "Heh. Maybe we should start a lil' club fer us none-rainbowy kinds." "Ohmygosh a club with you and me and anyone else like us?!" Zipporwhill squealed. "That would be so sweet we could ask daddy to host it at his mansion and I could show you my puppy she's just the cutest little brown yorkie and why are we not in the crowd anymore?" "Cause you were followin' me and Ah have ta deal with somethin' outside tha weddin'." Applejack turned to the girl. "Why don't you stay put right here? Or maybe go inside ta look fer yer pas, Ah'm sure they--" "What are you dealing with anyway? Is something wrong with the wedding? Is it a top secret saint mission? Is it some family issue that I shouldn't be asking about? Does it have anything to do with the giant bug that's crawling over the mountains?" Applejack sighed. "Yes, it's the giant bug. Ah'm just gonna--" "Oh, right, you're a farmer! You know a lot about bugs, so Sunset Shimmer must have asked you to handle it real quick!" "...That is... technically true," Applejack allowed, "which is why Ah really--" "You really are the bestest at saintiness! Can I watch, can I can I please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeease?" "...Zipporwhill, Ah'm gonna be fightin' a giant bug. Puttin' aside how weird that is--and Ah know, it ain't as weird as it could be--it's goin' ta be mighty dangerous fer anyone who sticks around!" "I'll stay back from the big fighting I super promise I'll just keep out of the way I'm super small and I can fly also and I can keep people from panicking and anyway if I'm near you when you're fighting the giant bug not in combat near but like off to the side near then daddy and father can find me quicker and I'll do whatever you say I super duper promise pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Applejack took a long look at her. "....You're gonna follow me no matter what Ah say, ain'tcha." "Yep!" "See, this is tha problem with havin' so many world-threatenin' events, survival instincts go straight out tha window... fahn, but you have to PROMISE ta keep away from the whole shebang by ten meters, at tha least!" "Oh, yes of course Saint Applejack!" Zipporwhil filpped in midair. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee this is going to be super duper crazy awesome!" "Come on, mah truck's over thar...."