//------------------------------// // Chapter 30: I couldn't think of a title. // Story: From the isles of Avalon // by The Drifting Bard //------------------------------// and now for something completely different "So how long are you staying in Canterlot, Twilight?" Nightlight asked. Twilight simply glanced over to me, seeing a look of confusion on my face. "I think he's still wondering where that cake went" Twilight giggled. "Note to self, never tell spike to pick up something" I finally spoke. Twilight then bopped me over the back of the head. I simply chuckled. "probably a few days, he's never been here before so I figured I could show him around" Twilight smiled at me, I shrugged and kissed her there and then. "so, onwards, Mademoiselle?" Starshine's jaw dropped. "he speaks Prench?" I chuckled. "A little bit, I speak...what was it?... Ancient draconic as well" I grinned. "later you two" NightLight called out as we left. I looked over to Twilight, she was smiling peacefully. but soon her smile dropped. "Oh great, her" She huffed. I raised an eyebrow as the woman in question walked past. "Do I even want to know?" thats when the woman turned around to look at me. "Not really but..." as Twilight said this, the woman in question turned around and began flirting with me. "Hello stud, I couldn't help notice you staring, Oh hey Twilight... had any more failures recently?" I looked over to Twilight, who looked slightly annoyed. "So, you with all those muscles and me with all these curves... what's first?" the woman continued. "er... thats easy... You go play on the railway lines while I take my Girlfriend here on another adventure" I kissed Twilight then and there. the woman walked off in a huff. "so... first of all, where's the nearest Cafe... I got a shit ton o bits burning a hole in my pocket and I'd like a cuppa tea" I chuckled. Twilight then proceeded to drag me off. "Come on then loverboy..." she began to smile again. Sitting down at the cafe, we waited for our order of tea, I then Looked at Twilight for a moment. "So... who was that anyway?" she simply sighed and looked over to me. "well, that was...uh.... an old friend turned...bitch really" "stole your old boyfriend?" she simply nodded. "well she ain't gettin her filthy paws on me" I chuckled. Twilight simply smiled half-heartedly. But that was when I heard it... Dubstep... hell not just any dubstep. "Vinyl scratch!" i waved for a moment, as she took off her head phones. "hey Alan, hey... woman i've never met" She grinned her trademark grin. I simply gave a chuckle. "so what's a DJ like yourself doing in a small cafe like this" I asked. she simply smiled and blushed, considering it was vinyl... something was going on. "soo?... whats her name?" Vinyl almost fell out of her seat. "O-octavia" Twilight's jaw dropped, Not only was I right, but it was her favorite musician too. As Octavia sat down the tension in the air could be cut with a knife, so I did what any other self-respecting hero would do. I belched and Derped at the same time. "HNERP!" the tension was broken. I then gave a triumphant shout of "CRISIS AVERTED!" Vinyl burst out laughing. as the waitress came to the table with our orders Octavia shot me a look. "so... there are Two Vinyls on this planet?" I grasped the sides of my head. "too much fuck for one mind to handle, Nice to meet you by the way" "Like wise, Mr Knight" I face-palmed. Vinyl just laughed. "for goddess' sake, Call me Alan" She blinked twice. "Very well then Alan, may I ask... who is this?" I introduced Twilight to the both of them, She simply blushed. "I wouldn't go that far Alan" As Octavia and Twilight had an... intellectual conversation, I opted to have a comedic conversation involving bad jokes. However, one of my outbursts of laughter had caused the two chatting women to pause. "well how about this, the only time it's okay to shout i have diarrhea is when your playing Scrabble cause its worth a shitload of points" For a moment, you could hear a pin drop. until the entire Cafe roared with laughter. Vinyl managed to squeak a few words. "it's funny cause it's true" even Octavia was laughing, which surprised me, when she came out with this little number. "My girlfriend hates it when I go clubbing, She loves seals" I deadpanned for a moment... "You too?" and more laughter followed. however, vinyl simply grinned and said "If you got all the veins, arteries and capillaries from your body and layed them out end to end............... You'd die" I chuckled, but the others didn't. Twilight recovered and began to tell a very longwinded joke. One I was sure I had heard before. "A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look" nothing could brace me for the sheer... confusion of it all. Silence. that was all that could be heard. "For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!" Twilight had finished her joke... well more of a monologue really. I finally looked over to her. "well... I don't know whether to be disgusted or turned on..." Within a few seconds, I locked lips with Twilight just to stop her telling that joke again. Vinyl had begun laughing like crazy, grabbed Octavia and then disappeared. after breaking the almost-too-hot-for-tv kiss, I simply chuckled. "I think the owner of the place wants us to leave now" "ya think?" Twilight deadpanned. Needless to say, we ran for it.