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// One Night in the country 
// Story: Cave in the Cake 
// by Xx soul sorrow xX 
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One night........ it was a silent night........ a holy night..... Mrs Cake got kicked out of the house again because she ate all the Fritos. "GOD DANG IT" yelled Mr. Cak. Then he slam the door and smack her out into the night sto sleep in the barn.
The Fritos..... Sweet, sweet Fritos.
Ms. Cake was dreaming about something. What could it be? She toss and turn in the hay pile. She woked up with a startle and saw the family horse Ol Richard. He was there staring..... staring like a parparazzi. Mrs Cake scream at him: "GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!! YOU FILTH BAG!" She always hated that horse, and now he's waking her up in the first restful night of her middle-aged, middle-class life. Ol Richard cried a single tear, but she knew it was only for affect... He wasn't really feeling sorry....
Mrs Cake couldb't take it any more. She grabbed her lipstick and her pantyhose and she ran outside into the night, crying beautiful tears.... It was like that night at the salmon farm all over again..... She sat down and looked at the star. it was her special wishing star. "O star light, start bright, make my morning feel alright..." she said. "Amen, sister." She said to herself. Then she laughed because it was a funny joke. I'm talking a real knee-slapper. You should've been there.
Then somehow, somewhere, she fell asleep. In the morning she woke up. The sun was bright and burning hot like the gasoline-drenched meatballs she used to light and throw at oncoming cars as a kid. Mrs. Cake licked her lips. She was hungry. She knew she had to eat something, but the hungry feeling was really a guilty feeling. The guilt was because she had a secret she was keeping from Mr. Cake and her dear sweetest stepdaughter Pinkie Pie.......... The secret ate at her troubled soul, gnawing at her heart like a timberwolf... It was what really kept her awake that faithful night.
At that moment Mrs Cake didn't realize that it was really guilt that was gettin' her goat. So, she walked around and tried to find a food. Then she had a revelation and laughed at her silly self out loud. "Just eat the grass!" she said to herself. She found a nice juicy grass patch on the dirty barn floor. She picked up a bite and chewed it thoughtfully. She tried to enjoy the flavor, but all she was craving was a 19 ounce bag of Fritos and a nice refreshing espresso. She spit up the grass and the vomit was green because grass. She started crying and then she was desperate. She grabbed her lipstick and took a big old bite. It didn't taste too bad!!! She ate the whole lip stick and then she was feeling better. But what was this feeling still inside? It was like a deep crevice into the unknown, infecting her soul with madness...
The next day Mrs. Cake thought she heard something. She spent the day in deep thought so she was tired. What she thought she heard was the voice of her husband Mr. Cake. "Come back home," he said. Mrs. Cake heard the voice, but she didn't listen. She went back to sleep in the dirt pile outside the barn.
When Mrs Cake woke up again, it was 3 in the PM. She was hungry again. "Hm.... what can I eat?" she said. Then she had a daring plan. She thought it up really quickly like The Grinch. She snuck over to the farm house. She snuck up to the house and grabbed a pie on the windowsill sneakily. Mr cake has just made a pie..... hmmmm..... mulberry...... She ran away laughing like "heh heh heh heh heh." Then when she got back to her dirt pile she ate it in two swift bites. Her stomach was bloated like when she was pregant. She smiled at it and remembered the delicacy of the pie.
A few weeks passed and Mr. Cake was too stupid to notice the stolen foods. He called out to his wife every night, but she thought she was just hallucinating him. She slept in the dirt pile and was happy to be away from the guilt of her terrible secret (she realized what the guilt feeling really was already.)
One day, everything changed. It was Pinkie Pie, and she was out for revenge. She came up to Mrs. Cake one night. She scared her to death. Mrs Cake screamed and swung at Pinkie with a knife. Pinkie Pie avoided it. She asked Mrs Cake: "why did you do it?"
Mrs Cake started crying. "I didn't mean to eat all the Fritos." Her face got sinister. "But I don't regret it!"
Pinkie Pie punched Mrs Cake. "Pull yourself to gether!" she screamed in her face. Mrs. Cake glared at Pinkie Pie. "Fine, I'll go back home, but I'm not telling you or that man or anyone else my secret."
So Pinkie Pue and Mrs Cake went to the little farm house. Mr Cake saw that Mrs. Cake was back and got happy. Mrs. Cake had other plans.
That night, Mrs. Cake wrote a letter. It said her terrible secret. She left it on her pillow next to a box of Eggos, quietly packed up her things, and boarded the next train to Worms, Germaney.
When Mr Cake woke up, he saw the Eggos. "Oh boy, I love Eggos," he yelled. He ate them without even toasting them. Then he saw the note and he was frozen with fear... He read it and started crying.... Mrs. Cake was gone forever.... all because of a secret....
The scret was like a consuming cave inside of Mrs. Cake. Now it was free... She shed a tear as the train left...