//------------------------------// // Slipspace Sucks // Story: Halo: X Team in Equestria // by The Good Dark Lord //------------------------------// The year was 2552 X Team waited in the maintenance hanger of the UNSC cruiser The Red Shirt with a Longsword. They were curently on their way to Reach, which was under attack from Covenant forces to serve as back up. That Longsword? They were gonna fly in and bomb the crap out of the covies. Braden calmly walked up to Richard and Rose, who were examining status reports of the Longsword they were set to use. "Is everything set and ready?" Braden asked. "Yes Colonel." Richard replied. "Rose here says everything is in working order and the bombs are all set to be dropped when we enter combat." "Well, not everything, actually." Rose said. The other two SPARTANS looked at her. "The main computer interface is a little buggy. So much so that I honestly recommend we use a different Longsword. But seeing that this is the only one in a hundred light years, we don't have much choice." Braden gave a sigh. "There's always a catch. Just do your best, alright?" "Yes sir." Just across the hanger, Ashley, James, and Kenny were hanging out by some crates. Ashley was quietly sharpening her combat knife against a piece of scrap metal while sitting cross legged on a crate. James was leaning against a double stack in a bored manner. He looked over to Ashley, then to Kenny. Kenny was watching some show on the inside of his visor. James couldn't identify the show that Kenny was watching, but whatever it was the red armored SPARTAN was enjoying it. Kenny gave a small chuckle. "Watcha watching Kenny?" James asked. Kenny quickly turned his head to James in a manner the latter recognized as nervousness, and turned off whatever he was just watching. "Oh, uh, nothing." "C'mon, what were you watching?" "I... uh..." "You were watching cartoons again, weren't you?" "Please don't tell Braden or Richard." "Heh. No promises." Ashley continued sharpening her knife in silence, only god knowing what was going on in her mind. An intercom speaker turned on. "Attention, all crew members." It was the captain of the ship, Johnson Head. "We are preparing to enter slipspace. Prepare your asses for any last minute bullshit." Sure enough, a Covenant supercarrier convienently appeared out of nowhere right behind The Red Shirt, and began firing. As The Red Shirt began taking damage, it entered slipspace. As the cruiser traveled through the tubular path of trippy colors the injuries it took began becoming larger, and eventually started tearing the ship apart. "Crap!" Richard cursed. "Why the hell can't things ever go as planned in this war? EVER?" "Everyone onto the Longsword!" Braden yelled out. Richard, Ashley, James, Rose, and Kenny sprinted up the lowered ramp and into the Longsword as Braden stayed behind to make sure they all got in before he did. Braden turned to the rest of the hanger and noticed a marine and engineer also making a run for the Longsword. "Come on! You're gonna make it! You're gonna make it!" Braden called out to them. The marine and engineer were just twenty feet away when an explosion ripped through the floor beneath them. Yeah, they're dead. "Dammit!" Braden said. Braden ran up the ramp and punched the close button. He progressed to the cockpit. The rest of the SPARTANS were already there, with Rose in the pilot seat. All six of them looked through the window and saw the walls of The Red Shirt tear away to reveal an open shot into the slipspace stream. "We're taking off! It's our only chance!" Rose said as she ignited the Longsword's engines, and lifted off of what was left of the hanger floor. "Taking off?!" Richard yelled. "Where the hell are we supposed to go?!" "Do you have any better ideas smartass?" "I am going to court martial your ass for insuboridnation when we get to Reach!" "I highly doubt that that will be our concern if we survive." "Lock it down, both of you!" Braden commanded. "We have bigger problems than this! Rose, get us out of here!" "With pleasure." The Longsword flew away from the exploding wreck of The Red Shirt and progressed down the slipspace stream at super speeds. Far behind them what was left of the UNSC cruiser exploded and disappeared into oblivion. "We made it." James quietly said. "Sweet merciful god we made it! Hell yeah!" "We still have to get to Reach." Richard said. "Stay sharp. Getting into orbit without being noticed by Covenant forces isn't going to be easy. Even in this Longsword." "Well so long as we keep a steady pace and our coordinates don't change, we should get there in one piece." Rose casually said. Right after she said that a bolt of energy zipped by the Longsword and ever so slightly brushed against the wing, which was enough to knock the Longsword off course. The SPARTANS were knocked off their feet; except for Rose; and Kenny just so happened to hit the back of his head onto the main computer- drive thingy. A probe/ chip thingy shot out from the computer- drive thingy and stuck itself into Kenny's neural implant thingy. "ACCESSING MEMORY BANKS." a synthetic voice said." SEARCHING FOR NEW COORDINATES." "Wait, WHAT?" Kenny said. The probe/ chip thingy exited his helmet and disappeared back into the rest of the Longsword. "NEW COORDINATES FOUND. VISUALIZING. HAVE A NICE DAY LOSERS." A holographic screen appeared on the main window in front of the SPARTANS and began depicting colorful cartoonish images. A song started playing. My Little Pony My Little Pony Ah- ah- ah- ah My Little Pony! I used to wonder what friendship could be! My Little Pony! Everyone just stared at Kenny in silence. The young SPARTAN let out a nervous chuckle. James broke the silence. "YOU STUPID BRONY YOU JUST SENT US INTO A GODDAM CARTOON YOU STUPID MOTHERFU-" A thin stream of slipspace energy reached out from the wall of trippy colors to the Longsword's left, grabbed onto the Longsword, and pulled it into the wall so that it would be redirected from Reach to its new destination...