//------------------------------// // Chapter 10: And Then Big Macintosh was Gay. // Story: "And Then Rainbow Dash Was a Colt," and Ten Other Really Awkward Stories // by Piquo Pie //------------------------------// "Good day Twilight, I'm glad to see, a solution has come to thee," rhymed Zecora as she entered the Library. Twilight smiled as she closed the door behind her friend. "Yes, well, after Scootaloo figured out that she's as bad at lying as she is at magic and flying, it became a lot easier," Twilight casually stated as she moved toward the basement. "I'm just glad she took such meticulous notes. I was actually kind of surprised. Usually the crusaders jump into things haphazardly but Scootaloo really put in a lot of studying. Too bad she's not a unicorn, I'm always keeping an eye out for diligent pupils.” Twilight's smile faltered as she opened the basement door and gestured for Zecora to enter. Zecora raised a questioning eyebrow. Twilight sighed as she shook her head, "Ponyville isn't known for its unicorn population." Zecora smiled as she laid a comforting hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Ah, I see. Low reproductively." They giggled morosely at their shared isolation. Twilight lit several candles as she entered after Zecora. The zebra could only stand motionless in awe. Before her, where normally a medium-sized circular room held a number of electronic machines and magical supplies were stored, was a pentagon-shaped room the size of Ponyville town hall. On the floor was an almost normal focusing circle with a number of pentagrams inside other pentagrams. It was a more intricate magic circle than anything Zecora had ever seen. "Impressive," stated the zebra. Twilight blushed. "It's really just a lot of work. I've had to isolate all the random and static variables of the spell, and break it down into several parts. Any spell that is cast, activated, or dismissed within the outermost pentagram should remain isolated for disposal in the receptacles I'm getting from Rarity later today. However I know little about the zebra magic used to link the maliation with the spell's host, so we may need to improvise." Twilight began to dance from hoof to hoof as she finished. "I'm kind of excited. This is going to be hard to pull off but I just can't keep the anticipation in. We're going to be combining long-forgotten magic with a modern scientific approach to dissect a multitiered miscast spell with five unique aspects from five, five, different types of magic. Did you bring what we need?" Zecora put a hoof on Twilight' shoulder before calmingly addressing the hyperactive mare. "Twilight, calm down, do you realize how you sound?" Twilight blushed as she brought her energy under control. Zecora nodded with a smile. "A host I brought, but care is needed. Chaos can be wrought if neglect is heeded." "Understood," said Twilight smiling. "I won't let my excitement get ahead of me. We're all mature mares here right?" asked Twilight rhetorically as she smiled at the quietly snickering zebra. "Um, where is the host?" Zecora smiled before pulling out two bags from behind her mane. One bag held an almost perfectly round, moist piece of fluorescent moss covering a piece of sodalite, almost the same shade as the magic dust Zecora had in the other bag. "Where would you like the host, my host?" Twilight smiled like a filly. "Over here out of the way. I want to learn about it before we do anything." I really should go talk to Rainbow. The thought permeated Big Macintoshe’s mind from the cry of the first cock to unto the last of his chores. Not even lunch with Caramel could dissuade him from his quandary. As he finished slopping the pigs, he finally decided. AJ don't know everything. Sometimes a stallion has got to do what a stallion has got to do. Big Macintosh looked up at the barn. And ain't nothin' going to get in my way. It's about time I stand up fer myself and take what I want, just like pause to say. I'm going to be my own stallion. I'm going to go get my dream mare! Mac immediately became aware of a yellow hoof prodding his side. "Hey, Mac, you okay? Y'all been staring at yer barn pretty intensely fer the past couple minutes or so," asked Caramel with a touch of concern. "Eeyup." Caramel turned to stare at the barn. A few minutes passed before the yellow stallion turned to walk away. "Well, if ya'll need to talk, you know where to find me. I’m always here for you." "Second road on the right, straight on till music," replied Big Macintosh with a smile. "Yes sir." "Twilight, something has my attention. What's the fifth source of magic that you mentioned?" asked Zecora with a frown. Twilight looked up from her calculations with a smile and a gleam in her eye. "I don't know. Apple Bloom used her earth pony magic, Scootaloo added a feather, they used some of your magic floral ingredients, and Sweetie tied it all together with a crystal from Rarity which added two sources of Unicorn magic, one of which was slightly magically radioactive. But I have absolutely no idea what the fifth source of magic is. Isn't that exciting?" Zecora frowned. "Then how will you isolate magic, without risking something tragic?" Twilight puffed out her chest and thrust her proud chin into the air. "I isolated the magical frequency. It's something that I believe zebras aren't able to do." Twilight paused to look for confirmation. Zecora nodded to continue. "The forms of most magic cast from a being are tied to a magical frequency that can manifest in many ways. It’s why a unicorn's horn glows a specific color that can change over a pony’s life. The frequency slowly changes as the pony grows old. It's also why your powder is such a distinctive color. The plants you use have short lives in a controlled environment, leading to a near identical color. Dash's rainbow trail is another example, as is the distinctive sound of each earth pony's attempt to buck a tree. "Ahh, I see. And with this frequency you can isolate the magic to study." Zecora smiled, pleased with the explanation. "But that seems simple, to isolate magic from you or me." Twilight shook her head. "If I was just filtering out a single known energy that I had a sample of then it wouldn’t be that hard. But to isolate a unknown magic interwoven into a complex spell matrix...” Twilight sighed. “Normally there is too much magical interference to truly isolate an unknown variable from ambient magical signatures that occur all around us. It has to be done under completely controlled conditions. Light from the sun, for instance, carries Celestia's essence. If you are in contact with the earth, you pick up on ambient energy dispersed from any nearby earth pony. Even this tree gives off a unique magic aura. However in complete darkness within a non-permeable magic barrier, one can cut down on the ambient magic by 80%. In this case that was enough for me to isolate the frequency with ease because it was so unique. It's a very old type of magic. And as soon as Rarity comes with the receptacles, we can start isolating the different spell components. In the meantime I think you can start teaching me about the Zebra hosts. Zecora smiled as she began to mold a burlap cloth around the solidate. Okay, Mac. She's just a mare. All you need to do is... is... check the window to make sure she's there. Yes. Then you can make your move. Big Macintosh switched the wheat to the left side of his mouth as he moved to the window in time to witness a flash of light from within. "What in the—" "And that's all that's needed to alter the host?" asked Twilight in awe. "Yes. A recent true memory to forge, and a false one to digress," replied Zecora. "May I?" pleaded Twilight with her best attempt to recreate Scootaloo's pleading face from the previous night. Zecora nodded. Twilight took the now Rainbow-shaped host in her hooves, careful not to contaminate it with her magic. She turned it over in her hoof. "Is, is that anatomically correct?" Zecora blushed. "It is." "Wow, it's so lifelike. I mean it has hair and everything. It even matches the color of her, sorry, his mane." Zecora nodded. “That it true, see what else it can do.” “So. Just alter the spell like–” Twilight's brow focused as she concentrated. With an audible pop, the figure transformed. “That?” Huh, Ah coulda sworn she just had a... Nah, couldn’ uh been. She’s just glowin’ fer some reason. Pro’bly cause she’s so B.E.A.Utiful. Okay, that didn’t even sound good in mah head. Come on Mac; you can do this. As soon as she wakes up I’ll go in and tell her how I feel. Big Macintosh slowly swiveled his head left and right. Okay, maybe Ah shouldn't wait around the window like this. Ah might give the wrong impression if’n she were to wake up. “Good work, Twilight, I think you got it down right,” said Zecora. “Thanks,” panted Twilight lightly. “You said you could change other things too?” Huh, now she done gone and started glowin’ again. Maybe it’s just somethin’ pegasi do? A loud pop echoed from the barn. “Whaaaaahhhh?” “Ohhh, a seapony!” exclaimed Twilight. “I’ve never even seen a sea pony before. This is so cool! May I try something?” Zecora nodded. “Uh,” mumbled Rainbow. “Why am I so dry? Gah, bright, why am I so bright? Huh, well that’s a thing.” Dash yawned. “Hmmm, tired. Mmmm, straw, you so cushy.” “A filly?” inquired Zecora. “Why not.” It’s not like the host is magically active. Can it even change Rainbow into all these things?” “Not really, that would be silly. Innate magic stays the same; otherwise we could accidentally cause great shame.” “Really?” asked Twilight. “Really really,” said Zecora with a smile. “So if we changed her into an alicorn, she would be able to fly but not use magic?” Zecora nodded. Caramel's lonely sigh echoed from next to Mac's quivering form. "C-c-c-cara-mel?" asked Big Mac while looking straight ahead. "Yeah, bud. I'm here for ya." responded Caramel placing a leg over Mac's broad, rippling shoulders. "What was that?" "Oh, that?" asked Caramel pointing up to the window above them. "That's just somethin' that happened to mares about once a month." "Once, once a month?" asked Big Mac shakily. “Yup, pretty harsh." said Caramel with a distinctly deadpanned expression. A scream echoed out of the barn. "That's, that's horrible," said Big Mac looking up. "Should, should we check on her?" "Nah," said Caramel dismissively waving a hoof. Silence reigned for several minutes as the light went dim. "I, I never knew. I mean AJ just, she never, I never noticed anything." "I know, big guy, a lot o' mares hide it well. And sometimes, some mares have it worse than others." Mac thought for a minute. "But, I gave Apple Bloom the talk and now... everything," Big Mac said before trailing off. "Listen," said Caramel turning to Mac. "I've known you Apples pretty much my whole life. You've always had tough mares that could take care of themselves. But if you're worried 'bout your sister, then ask AJ ta give her a talk as well. Explain that it's probably best if she hears it from her sister anyway." "Yeah, I guess you’re right." "Okay," said Twilight. “Now that we got all sorted out, let’s go get something to eat then get Rainbow Dash for some experimentation." Zecora nodded. "Yes." "Come on, Mac, let’s go back to my place and I'll help you through this," said Caramel as he helped Big Mac to his hooves. Big mac nodded solemnly. "Oh come on," encouraged Caramel, "it won't be that bad. A couple of drinks, some nachos, maybe some Caramel Apple?" added Caramel with wiggling eyebrows. "Yeah. Yeah I guess," responded Big Mac with a slight bit of enthusiasm. "That's the spirit," replied Caramel with a mischievous smile. "I'm gonna show you a whole new world." Caramel grinned, quite pleased with himself. Big Mac also smiled, a tinge of confidence creeping into his lip as they walked side by side into the sunset.