"And Then Rainbow Dash Was a Colt," and Ten Other Really Awkward Stories

by Piquo Pie


Chapter 9: Confessions, Realizations, and Child Defenestrations

Scootaloo took several calming breaths as she raised a tentative forehoof. Just do it Scootaloo, you know what you need to do. You did it before for yourself, and now you just have to do it again, for her. Her eyes opened. It's for Dash. This one, is for Dash.

Slowly her hoof inched forward, egged on by the love she held for the older mare.
 
Just stop thinking and do it, Scootaloo. DO IT!
 


 
"Hey Twilight," called Spike as he set down a cup of tea for the librarian pony, "any luck yet?"
 
"A little,” responded Twilight while trotting down the stairs. “Zecora's notes seem to suggest a combination of zebra, unicorn, pegasus, and even terrestrial magics, most likely earth pony. They each seem to provide something specific to the magical foundation for this matrix of spells leading to the conclusion that this must have been an intentional spell, but perhaps not the intended effect."
 
"What do you mean?" asked Spike as he began clearing a space for Twilight to set her inevitable walls of books.
 
"I think... I think this was a love spell," said Twilight. "Not like the love poison that the crusaders used on Big Macintosh and Cheerilee, but more of a spell to influence a pony." Looking over, Twilight caught Spike's confused look.
 
Twilight momentarily tapped a hoof to her chin. "Let's put it this way: you like Rarity and Rarity at least likes you as a friend, and maybe someday something more."
 
Spike beamed. "You really think she might?"
 
"Someday, perhaps, but regardless, if you were impatient and could move things along, would you?"
 
"I—" Spike stopped a moment in thought before sighing. "Probably not. I mean doing something nice for her sure, but I wouldn't want to use magic or anything, especially after the crusaders had to move that house all the way across town. Boy was that fun to watch though," giggled Spike.
 
Twilight shared a giggle. "But somepony else might not be as smart as you," said Twilight, bopping him lovingly on the nose before turning back to her notes
 
"So what? You said it wasn't like the poison."
 
"Exactly! Maybe they didn't want to force love, but they could use magic to make a pony… more receptive. Actually, they didn't even need to use magic, simple knowledge of some roots and plants could have helped, and may have even been used, but I think they chose to combine some different types of subtle magic to increase the chance of the desired outcome. The zebra magic used reminded Zecora of a way to link a pony to a receptor." Twilight turned to Spike. "Much like a voodoo doll in one of your comics."
 
"Oh, that makes sense I guess. Hey, how did you know about—”
 
"But," interrupted Twilight, "there is also terrestrial magic, similar to how an earth pony can accelerate plant growth. Still, there is also some unicorn magic. I guess it was an attempt to tie everything together, but the work is quite amateur despite an odd power signature. It's like two unicorns added to the spell, but the significantly less powerful one was in control. It might be the use of an enhanced gem as well, not that anypony uses those anymore, given the inherent dangers, but maybe somepony bought one of Rarity’s new designs."
 
"Oh yeah, man can that mare cook a gem!" said Spike before seeing Twilight's eyes go wide. "What?"
 
"Please tell me you aren’t eating her experiments, Spike, that's really dangerous even for a dragon."
 
"No no. After she checks them for radiation, she sometimes asks me to check them for damage."
 
Twilight raised a questioning eyebrow.
 
"Rarity has gorgeous eyes, uh, for gems, but I have the nose that knows, ya know," said a smiling Spike.
 
"I... guess that's okay. What happens to the damaged gems?"
 
"Well, sometimes they leak magic. Not the dangerous kind, that’s what Rarity is so careful about. But sometimes there is this, I guess I would call it a magical con-con… con-den-sation in the gems from other sources. I can smell it, but Rarity hasn’t—" said Spike before a knock at the library door drew their attention.
 
"Can you get that, Spike?" asked Twilight. "I need to go read up on Granite Grazer’s Geological Guidelines for Geniuses. You may have just given me the lead of the day. It’s not like anypony else would just walk in with new information.” Twilight paused with a glowing horn. “Just remember to stay safe and don't eat anything that Rarity has magicked, okay?"
 
"Ok, Twilight, glad I could help."
 
"You’re always a big help, Spike," said Twilight. "Don't forget that. I'll be in my room if you need me."
 
He smiled as he headed for the door, faintly registering the pop of a teleportation spell.
 
"Welcome to— Hey Scootaloo. What brings you to the library?" asked Spike as he pushed the door closed behind the filly.
 
"Oh, I, uh... actually had a question for Twilight," said Scootaloo hesitantly.
 
"Oh," said Spike, looking down. "I think she's kinda busy right now but she should have time." He smiled politely before turning to get Twilight.
 
Scootaloo managed to hold her convincing smile until the little dragon ascended the stairs, after which she collapsed behind the couch and closed her eyes, quiet except for a few sniffles.
 
A few moments later a small cry of surprise brought Scootaloo to her senses followed by faint exclamations. “I tol- you n-t to sneak up on -e -ike that Spike!
 
Get it together. Scootaloo had wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up as a sharp pop signaled the primary obstacle between Scootaloo and fixing her mistake.
 


 
Twilight sighed deeply before teleporting down to Scootaloo. "Okay, Scootaloo. What can I help you with, school report or crusading?"
 
"Oh, uh, crusading I guess?" Scootaloo said before looking down. "Actually it's more about fixing some damage we caused during a crusade."
 
"Okay..." encouraged Twilight with some trepidation. “Well, what happened?"
 
"Oh, uh, we... me and the girls that is," said Scootaloo as Twilight raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "We were experimenting with magic, to see if maybe Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom were any good at that sort of thing."
 
"Wait, Applebloom?"
 
"Yeah, hehe...heh," chuckled Scootaloo who stole a quick glance toward the door. Twilight narrowed her eyes noticing something was afoot.

Whatever a foot was. Damnit! Why did I ever read that book of puns, did I just want to punish... never mind. I need to keep focused here, Scootaloo might — neigh; she knows something.
Twilight realized that Scootaloo had begun to sweat at the silence. "Yes. What type of magic were you experimenting with?"
 
"Oh, uh, I think Applebloom was trying to grow some plants, and I think Sweetie was trying to make a light and a sound at the same time; she said it's hard to link two spells together so if she could do that she would get a cutie mark for sure."
 
Twilight blinked as a small smile crept onto her face. "So, Applebloom was trying to use growth magic, and Sweetie Belle was trying to link several spells together. Where did the zebra magic come into play?"
 
"Oh the zebra... um, I d-didn't say anything about, the zebra magic… eh-he." Scootaloo began fanning herself with her feathers as small beads of sweat began to build on her forehead.
 
"Oh, sorry. I thought you had said something about zebra magic," said Twilight as she slowly began to circle the squeamish filly.
 
Darn darn darn. Gosh darn sun of a hoof-less mare. All or nothing I guess.
 
"Nope! No zebra magic here… there… unless..." Scootaloo began before turning around to look at Twilight.
 
"Maybe, maybe Applebloom was trying to use a potion to help her, or something. You know how she looks up to Zecora and everything."
 
"Yes, that filly does have an odd fascination with zebra magic. Not that I blame her, it's fascinating. I've been working with Zecora a lot recently in fact."
 
Scootaloo gulped. "Y-you have. Whatever for?"
 
"Well," said Twilight levitating a kettle and some cups from the kitchen, "Something very strange has happened to Rainbow Dash recently. Has she told you about it?”
 
I’m as good as a cooked chicken, doomed. And now I’m thinking in AB’s voice.
 
Scootaloo's heart slowed to an occasional, but powerful, beat as her pupils dilated, unseen by the unicorn warming two tea cups behind her. "W-well, yeah. She got turned in-into, a t-totally awesome stallion. It, it kind of freaked me out a-at first to be honest, but she, he's still as awesome as ever," Scootaloo said honestly as Twilight sat a tea cup down in front of the filly while simultaneously sipping her own cup. "She even gave me the talk, she said it was the important talk, cause it's not like my—"
 
Scootaloo was cut off as Twilight's magical hold on her tea cup flared and flung the steaming mug away from her open mouth as steaming liquid spewed forth. "Ow!"
 
Scootaloo flinched at the sound. "Are, are you okay, Twilight?"
 
A bright flash from Twilight’s horn echoed from within her mouth. "Ow, yes Scoot-Scootaloo. I just, Dash isn't exactly the most informed pony concerning anatomy or the reproductive process," said Twilight, blushing. "I was just so stunned I stopped mid drink and... Oh shoot, I threw it all over my first edition of Magical Mayhem and Maladies of the Middle Magician's Era." Again Twilight's horn flared, followed by a rising, glowing globe of still-steaming liquid from the book.
 
"Well, at least the book’s okay," said Scootaloo with a shrug.
 
Twilight floated the freshly opened book. "Not really. You see here, Scootaloo, the liquid caused the ink to run. I can remove the tea, I can dry and repair the paper, but without knowing exactly what was in the book, I cannot fix the knowledge that this tome held. It's a problem that many magicians have tried to solve over the years but nopony has ever figured out how to repair the damage to ink on a piece of paper without knowing what was supposed to be there in the first place. Ink is not like a wall where you can put it back and just have the cells within wood connect again. It doesn't fit back together like puzzle pieces. It's just not possible to repair the damage."
 
Scootaloo's mouth dropped with the realization that Twilight had just lost a precious one-of-a-kind tome. "Oh no Twilight, I'm so sorry I—"
 
Twilight put a hoof over Scootaloo's mouth and winked. "It's okay, I can't fix it, but I can replace it."
 
"But, you said it was first edition? Aren’t those hard to find?"
 
"Yes," stated Twilight confidently, "But I am not replacing the book, Scootaloo, Remember I just need the information.” Scootaloo scratched her head with a hoof. “Here, let me show you."
 
Twilight's horn flared as a dark purple rose quartz popped into existence. "I store this in a secret fire and magic-proof safe. Unless you know the magical combination, even Discord wouldn't be able to harm it." Twilight floated the ball in front of Scootaloo. "Go on, take a look."
 
Scootaloo picked the ball out of the air with a hoof and placed it in front of her. A few pokes only managed to roll the ball languidly around in a little circle. "I don't get it."
 
Twilight smiled. "Here." Twilight shot a small lavender beam at the ball from her horn, and an image appeared in the ball.
 
Scootaloo's mouth dropped. "That's a, ah, uh, ugh... a list?"
 
"Right,” said Twilight beaming. “It's a list of all the books whose information I have stored in this special crystal," said Twilight with a smile. "I was inspired by Rarity's work with gem magic and came up with this practical little device. I call it a compiler, because it’s a giant compilation of whatever you put into it. Here.” Twilight pushed the ball under Scootaloo.
 
To Scootaloo, the image blurred momentarily before she was looking at a title page of sorts.
 
Compiler: Golden Oaks Library
 
Index:
A Guide to Getting Guys
An Animal in All (1st edition)
Anomalous Animals of the Arid Andes (circa 1772)
Aphrodisiac Zebrambabwean Aphids and You

 
The image suddenly began to move as Twilight rotated the ball away from Scootaloo. The text began to move up before disappearing to be replaced by new titles, all in alphabetical order. Just when the image showed, 'Magical Mayhem and Maladies of the Middle Magician's Era', Twilight angled the ball back to its original position before the list changed. She then rotated it again so the top was to the right and the image changed to the cover of the now useless book.
 
"It's basically a perfect copy of the book. I can use this to restore the text." Twilight beamed. "It will revolutionize not only the care of ancient books, but can be used to record a magical imprint of locations which will advance the care of archeology and construction as well. I'm hoping it will be nominated for a Neigh Bell Prize in magical science, though Rarity might give me a run for my bits. But at least they take into consideration all advances over the past couple decades, so perhaps we'll both win. Are you okay Scootaloo, you mouth is hanging open. Is something wrong with my ball?" asked Twilight as she moved to look directly down at the image. "Oh, it's turning blue, that just means I need to put it in the sun to recharge," said Twilight, levitating the ball into the light.
 
Scootaloo looked at Twilight. "If you have that, then why do you need to fix the book? It's obvious that you're magical ball is way more efficient than storing all these," said Scootaloo, gesturing around the room with her hoof.
 
Twilight looked aghast. "Why would I ever replace these books? They are much easier to read, and you can just turn to the page you want without having to scroll around. While my magical balls may be more efficient than books for storage, they are not practical for reading. The image is static and you have to stay in a specific spot to read which can cause cramping… as I have learned. It would also cost at least ten times the cost and time to produce a Compiler compared to a book."
 
"Yeah, but you're storing at least a hundred books on that—"
 
"97! But it can probably store twice that."
 
"Whatever. Look, can we just get back to Rainbow Dash's problem; I need to fix my mistake before her life is ruined forever!"
 
Twilight stared. After a moment Scootaloo began to blush with embarrassment and quickly hid her head beneath her hooves.
 
"Sweetie?"
 
"Scootaloo, but... yeah."
 
"What do you mean fix your mistake?"
 
Scootaloo's pupils shrank but remained safely hidden behind her hooves. "I, um, hurt Dash's feelings... On accident, and I, um... wanted to try and fix her, or the... er, magic affecting her. I figured we, me and the girls, heh, could try to get our cutie marks in, um, magical something-or-other... heh."
 
Twilight leaned down and placed her mouth right next to Scootaloo’s ear. “You will tell me everything. Do you understand?”
 
Scootaloo nodded slowly, closing her hidden, tearing, eyes.
 
“I want to hear you say 'yes ma’am.' Scootaloo, I know you made a honest mistake, but I need you to buckle up so we can get through this together. Can you do that for me?"
 
“Y-yes, ma'am."
 
"That's a good girl."