Applejack’s walk back to the farm took much less time than usual, or so it seemed.
“Appaloosan Waffles, why can’t I get Rainbow out of my head.” Grumbled Applejack, as she went back to buck’n her beloved trees. Soon Applejack began to feel more relaxed. Her beloved apple trees were always there for her to work off some of the tension.
“I should probably go tell her she’s gonna have ta stay here a while.”
“Who’d ya say is staying here AJ?” asked Big Mac curiously from behind Applejack.
“Oh… uh Rainbows having some troubles and is going to be staying in our barn, fer a while...” replied Applejack with a shifty eyed blush.
“Oh, that’s nice.” said Big Mac with an honest grin. “But what seems to be the problem?” It must be a serious problem. Applejack never lets anypony inta her barn.
“It’s… um… marbles. You don’t really want to know, and to be frank, I wish I didn’t.” replied Applejack with her head hanging low, wobbling too and fro.
“Oh, that’s too bad, maybe I should go check on her. Where is she?” asked Big Mac with concern. How do marbles force a pony out of their house?
“NO, I mean... no she’s fine but it will be a' couple a’ days till she can go home.” explained Applejack poorly.
Big Mac raised a knowing eyebrow backed by a lifetime of brotherly experience, and a trace of confusion. She doesn’t know, does she.
“Look,” Applejack asserted, “she is having a problem right now and just needs ta crash in our barn and have some privacy fer a few days till it gets sorted out. I'm also not one ta blab.”
“You know I fancy her right?” Mac persisted, “Ifn’ there’s anything I can do to help I'd like to give it a shot.” And that way she'd owe me one.
Applejack's eyes shrunk momentarily while she tried to form a coherent thought. “Then definitely don't go in there. And don't ask any more questions. And trust me this is fer the best, I know I can't look at Rainbow the same way. Her mare troubles are way out of my league.” Applejack lied obviously.
Big Mac ignored the obvious lie, passing it off as nervousness about something. Oohhhhh mare troubles. I thought we were talking about marbles... “Oohhhhh!” that’s a little wild fer my tastes, but if marbles make her happy then whatever.
“Mac?” asked Applejack with a concerned expression, “You OK? Ya' seem to have one of those far off looks in your eye.”
“Eeup.” said Big Mac, back in the moment. “Just trying to figure out how marbles fit into all this. Hidin’ in our barn seems a bit extreme but whatever floats her boat, I guess.” Ya know, I’ve never been on a boat before, I wonder if’n they are romantic?
“Mac, I know you live on the farm but I woulda' thought you knew marbles was one of them euphemism thingies for mare troubles.” explained Applejack.
Huh, so (Mare troubles - e trou = marbles) I’ll remember that. What would stallion troubles be?
“So, would that make stallion troubles, stables?” asked Big Mac.
“I don’t rightly know Big Brother. Marbles is kinda’ mare slang. Ya know, gossip talk.” Applejack said. “If you’re curious then why don’t ya ask Rarity? I’m sure if anypony would know it would be that galloping gossip.”
Big Mac nodded, “Yeah, maybe I will, I know she wanted to have me model for a new tux design this week.”
Applejack's eyes shrunk momentarily while she tried to form a coherent thought. “You, modeling for Rarity? What brought ya round to that fascistnista?”
“Well,” said Bic Mac casually, “she said that a lot of stallions in Canterlot are larger than most Ponyville stallions. Since she is a rising star or some such in Canterlot she needs to work on her stallion designs. She offered to pay for a trip to the spa if I helped her work on designs that fit a larger build as it were.”
“A trip to the spa? As in my big brother, the biggest hardest working farm stallion, was bribed into modeling for fancy outfits for the rich and famous, by a trip to the spa?” questioned Applejack in dumbfounded apprehension.
“First off sis,” said big mac as he closed his sister’s mouth, “we don’t want birds nestin’ in yer mouth. Secondly, yes. I enjoy a good spa treatment now and again. Hard workers like me and you could always go fer a massage to keep us loose and our muscles from crampin' up. I’ll even admit to liking a steam and a mud bath.”
“Do ya ever, you know, get a facial or a hoofacure?” asked applejack dismissively twirling a hoof in the air.
Big Mac turned his head away with a blush. “Only when I feel I deserve it.” He said with a straight face that blushed under Applejack’s scrutiny.
Applejack suddenly smiled playfully. “Well that figures I guess.”
“How so?” said a wary Big Mac.
“I mean ya never been able to beat me in a rodeo, wrestling match, or applebucking contest.” smiled applejack with profane intent. “Maybe you’re the mare in this here familial unit.”
Big Macintosh stared straight at Applejack. Don’t make me do it AJ. I will if it’ll put you in your place but I’m begin you, don't call me on this. “Y’all wana put you bits where your mouth is?” asked Big Macintosh with his best poker face.
“Name it!”
Dang it!
“We each name the stakes. You name the contest BUT," emphasized Applejack, prodding Big Mac in the chest, "it has to be something stallions actually compete in." Applejack grinned cockily. “If I win you have to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the family and Rainbow Dash, take over my chores during the next bull fights so I can go to Las Pegasus, AND give Applebloom the birds and the bee’s talk. She can still come to me with questions if she wants but ain't no good with this sort of thing."
Big Macintosh grinned. If she wants to do this the hard way, then fine! “Fine! If I win you have to go over to Rarity’s, ask for her to join you for a day at the spa on you, get a full treatment, and NEVER EVER challenge my stallionhood again! Oh and you have ta give Bloom the talk."
“Deal!” declared Applejack spitting into her hoof. Big Macintosh did the same before they slammer their hoofs together.
“Now, what’s the contest I’m going to best you at!”
“We are going to see who’s is bigger!” stated Big Mac straight faced.
“Come again?” said Applejack confused.
“Males,” explained Bic Mac in his standard matter of fact tone, “like to see who is the bigger stallion. Often this is done when we are young or drunk but we can skip the drinking.”
Applejack spent a full 20 seconds looking at her brother in abject horror before looking down in defeat. “You win. I think it was a dirty trick but I’ll hold my end of the bargain.”
“AJ!” exclaimed Big Macintosh with mock surprise. “Are you saying you give up, you’re not even going to try?”
“Mac, you know darn well I can’t compete with you in that sorta’ competition. AND ya know stallion's... well little stallion, freak me out. There's no reason you have to be a bad sport about it.”
“Really?” Inquired Big Mac with a raised eyebrow. “After all your hussin’ and fussin’ over the years about winning almost every competition we have ever had you think I’m going to just let this opportunity slide?”
Applejack grimaced, admitting to herself she had this coming according to the Apple Family sibling code of honor.
“Cause you’d be right… I apologize for my behavior. I guess I got caught up in the moment.”
“Say what now?” asked a confused Applejack.
“Well after all I am the bigger stallion.”