Twilight Sparkle watched the seemingly endless rain wash down the window that looked over her balcony. Few ponies wanted to go out in the rain, let alone to the underused library, so Twilight found the time to indulge in her favorite rainy-day pastime of watching the rain, drinking tea, and reading a technical book about rain. At Rainbow Dash’s suggestion, she had chosen Cloudsdale’s Cumulus Combine: The Fact-finders Friend for Fabulous Factory Facts (or, as Rainbow had put it, “I dunno what you should read. Maybe something about the weather factory?”) Having toured the facility herself, Twilight took great interest at learning its history, giggling softly whenever she came across a picture of something she had seen firsthoof. She had just gotten to a page regarding the invention of the hailstone layering process when she was interrupted by a knock at the door.
Twilight headed down the stairs, knowing that her cold-blooded dragon was up in their bedroom sleeping under a thick pile of blankets. Not wanting to keep a patron waiting in the rain, opened the door magically. Fluttershy was waiting, and took no time stepping in.
“Hello Fluttershy!” Twilight smiled, happy to see her friend. “Please come in! Take off that soaking raincoat.”
Fluttershy started to do so, but then remembered the main reason for having it on. “Oh... um… Twilight?” she mumbled, “would… I mean, if it’s alright with you… may I keep it on… for a while?”
Twilight thought nothing of the request other than to offer Fluttershy a spot in the warmest part of the interior. “So,” she inquired, “what brings you out here in this weather?”
“Well…” Fluttershy began, in a characteristic stumbling over her own words, “I… wanted to talk to you about something.”
Twilight may have spent most of her life caring more about studying than relationships, but she could tell something was troubling her friend. “Well, don’t worry, I’m here for you. You can tell me.”
Fluttershy relaxed a little. “Well… um… I don’t know how to start… have I ever told you… I like mares?”
Twilight cocked her head. “You mean, you’re attracted to mares… physically? I don’t think you have.”
“Oh… I’m sorry…” Fluttershy shrunk back.
“Have I ever told you I like stallions?”
“Well…” Fluttershy thought seriously about this. “No, I guess you haven’t.”
“Then you’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I can understand wanting to keep your romantic feelings private.” A quiet moment passed. “So, is this about me?”
“Oh, no, not that you aren’t attractive and a wonderful mare and would make a good marefriend, but…”
Twilight tried to help Fluttershy along. “It’s okay, I promise I won’t tell anyone without your consent.”
Fluttershy shivered a bit, hoping Twilight would assume it was from the cold rain. “Well, I’ve had a crush… on Rainbow Dash… for a long time now. It started back when we were in flight school.”
“I see,” Twilight nodded, confirming in her head all the times Rainbow had made a racy comment about a stallion. Fluttershy probably didn’t know, though, judging by the way her friends treated her when it came to more vulgar concepts. “So, have you talked to Rainbow Dash about this?”
Fluttershy nodded and whimpered.
“Is that why you came to see me?”
Fluttershy curled into herself, but nodded again.
“Because she doesn’t like mares like you do.”
A tear rolled down Fluttershy’s cheek in response.
“Oh, Fluttershy, you must feel terrible. I’m so sorry for you.” Twilight gave her friend a close hug.
Fluttershy nuzzled her thankfully, but stood and said, “There’s… a little more to it.”
“Oh?”
Fluttershy unbuttoned her jacket and let it fall off her legs. Twilight glanced at her, realizing this was supposed to be an explanation. When her gaze came to the cuts in her friend’s leg, she gasped. “Oh, Fluttershy, are you okay? Did you do that to yourself?”
Fluttershy looked down for a moment, away from the wound, and nodded slowly.
“Have you told anyone else?”
Fluttershy shut her eyes tight. “I don’t want the world to see me… not like this.”
“Not even any of our friends?”
“I just don’t think that they’d understand.”
Twilight realized why her friend came to her. She wanted help. Psychology is a basis of the Magic of Friendship, so Twilight knew a great deal about mental illness. Of course, as far as she knew, Fluttershy was a pony in her right mind, but she still checked off a few things from her mental checklist.
“Have you ever cut yourself before?”
Fluttershy shook her head no.
“Have you ever done something, even something small, to hurt yourself?”
Fluttershy winced. “Every once in a while, I try to stop eating… I just think… I don’t deserve food. It’s never lasted a whole two days.”
Twilight nodded. “Did you cut yourself because you feel you deserved the pain?”
“No, I just felt… like it didn’t matter. Like… nothing lasts, so… when everything’s meant to be broken… what does it matter?”
“Have you ever wanted to hurt someone else?”
Fluttershy looked up and gave a firm “No.”
Twilight tried to be soft with her, “Do you hear voices telling you to hurt yourself, or things that make you feel bad about yourself?”
Fluttershy turned back, “You think I’m crazy.”
Twilight rushed forward and hugged her friend tight. “I don’t, Fluttershy. It’s just hard to take this in, so I’m processing it through analysis. It’s how I cope. Please, I promise this is the last question.”
Fluttershy nodded in understanding, not breaking the hug. “No, I don’t hear voices. I don’t know why I thought of this – though when I was talking it out with Angel, I said it may stem from my wanting to be a tree.”
In a moment of relief, they both giggled softly at the pun. Twilight leaned in. “Oh Fluttershy, I know you know cutting yourself is not something you should do. I mean, you’re a doctor. You took an oath to ‘first, do no harm.’ It’s okay to feel sad.”
Fluttershy nuzzled into her unicorn friend. “Thank you, Twilight. I am glad you understand.” She giggled a little. “Although veterinarians usually don’t take the Androcratic Oath.”
Twilight tilted her neck in a pony shrug. “Would you believe I’ve never studied that?”
Fluttershy giggled a little more. “Still, I think I’ll be fine. It is nice to talk to someone about this. All of this, these things I kept to myself… it’s good to let them out. I just want you to know who I am.”
She broke their embrace, but kept her hooves on her friend’s shoulders. “I am glad you told me. Still, you should tell someone else.” Twilight saw the fear building in her friend’s eyes. “Not Rainbow Dash, you’ve admitted to her that you have feelings for her, she’s got enough on her plate. Pinkie Pie is good for keeping secrets, but we know she deals with depression hard too. Plus, she’d throw you a coming out party before you could stop her.”
The two mares giggled. “Yeah,” Fluttershy said, “I’m not quite ready for that much attention yet.”
Twilight nodded. “I would say the same about Rarity and depression, but for one, I think most of it is an act. She just thinks damsels should be distressed. Helping a friend through real depression might help her to feel better. Plus, I don’t think she’d miss that during a spa day.”
Fluttershy winced. “Yeah, I guess I can only wear sweaters for so long.”
Twilight added, “But being out of town, it’s probably a good idea if you told Applejack. At least about the cutting, I don’t know how her country morals would view your sexual preference. So keep the sweater on until you’re ready for that.”
Fluttershy nodded. “There’s… one more friend I would like to tell about it, Twilight, but… I sort of… need your help.”
Twilight looked at her inquisitively. “Oh? Who’s that?”
Fluttershy drew a small circle in the floor with her hoof. “I know… I know now, through you, that Princess Celestia isn’t some omniscient, all-powerful being. But she still is an ancient and wise pony, plus, she is our close friend. I guess… it would make me feel better if we told her, as part of a friendship report.”
Twilight nodded. “She may not be a goddess in the sense of the old views revered her, but she does care deeply for all her subjects, especially us. I think it’s a wonderful idea.”
And so Twilight picked up a quill with her magic, and the two went off to write.