beep…
Huh?
beep...
What?
beep…
That’s getting annoying. As the constant beeping I heard I decided to mull over my day. ”Okay so I managed to kill a Neoshadow and a Guard Armor, then have obvious bad guys telling me ‘oh hey I’m just gonna be a puppet master cause I’m a dick’ and then got shot by an asshole and flung on top of a carriage…” I think to myself while opening my eyes blearily, a dull pain still coursing through me. ”Sounds like a good a start as any.” I mentally sigh out, slowly putting a hand over my eyes to get the damned light away as I looked around for something noticeable.
And just my luck I’m in a hospital, the heart monitor, the chairs, the constant background noise of either people moaning and groaning about their pain, doctors and nurses talking to each other or to their patients, and I’m just sitting here feeling like I got hit by a truck. “H-hello?” I try to call out, my voice sounding raspy and the obvious sign of a dry throat making itself known as my throat started to hurt. And much to my luck I thankfully got a nurse to appear with, strangely enough, a visitor.
“How are you feeling?” The nurse says simply, the grey mare having honest concern written on her face at seeing me.
“Dry throat, getting shot in my legs, shoulders and arm, and the dull pain of getting hit by a truck….I’d say I’m doing fine.” I explain before coughing in pain, regretting my decision of trying to explain it in a smarmy way.
The nurse looked at me with an unamused look. “Well, it seems other than your attitude everything else seems fine. You really are lucky to be alive. The bullets that shot you were a .50 caliber, who ever shot you either wasn’t aiming to kill or was a terrible shot as they missed your bones, just grazing them by less than a millimeter.”
“Wait...how do you know about that?” I ask curiously, kind of thinking that ponies were still in the medieval period in tech when it came to weapons.
“Bit of a gun nut personally. Those griffins really know how to use them, but the minotaurs made them long ago. Though, how did that happen, you were shot eight times.”
“Let’s just say a masked man’s friend didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.”
“I think the news reports did have some photos with two people like that… Well, anyway, don’t worry about any bills, the crown is paying for this service.”
“How, why, and where the hell is my cloak?” I ask, just now noticing I wasn’t wearing my cloak.
“It’s being washed. Somehow it didn’t have any holes or tears, but it was soaked in blood. As for… well… your body seems similar to ours, are you a race from another land?”
“You could...say that.” I say slowly, not entirely a hundred percent sure I should just out and out say where I really came from. “But why is the crown paying for this? I thought royalty were supposed to be greedy assholes?” I ask, pretending to think that Celestia and Luna were stuck up and terrible.
“Well, if you didn’t destroy that monster Princess Celestia’s student and her friend might have gotten hurt. You were on top of the carriage they were in when paramedics got there and those two were trying to tend to your wounds.”
My jaw dropped, not believing that Twilight and one of her friends were there ever so conveniently. “Um...is one of them here?” I ask honestly, keeping down my inner fanboy at meeting one of my favorite characters.
“Twilight is, she says she saw when you got shot and has rarely left your side over the last two days.”
“Two things…” I start before coughing again. “Okay three things. One can I get a glass of water? Two, why would a Princess’s personal student be near me when I’m just...me.” I say, my tone shifting to a sadder note considering ‘me’ is just a sassy asshole that thinks he’ll just be alone forever. “And three...two days? Really?”
“Yes, two days. Second, you saved her, and a lot of ponies when you killed those creatures. They’ve been terrorizing everywhere from Canterlot to the Zebra lands, I think you have some fans… just look at all the gift baskets to your left. And third, I’ll be back with that water.” She left the room.
When the nurse left I decided to do just that to see these gift baskets, and holy damn were there quite a bit of them. Quite a few were filled with food ranging from carrots, apples, candy and baked goods, all of them had cards giving thanks, ‘get well soon’ and…”Oh my god why?” I ask myself, seeing a few cards that had ‘special picture inside’ and my mind raced to an immediate ‘perv zone’ and thought of fangirls sending nudes. “Why...just...why?” I mutter, my entire face having turned the brightest shade of red ever.
The door to the room opened and I placed the nudes back into the basket and dropped them off the side of my bed. Even though she was anthro, I recognized that purple coat and mane anywhere… Twilight… “Oh, you’re finally awake.” She said as she took a seat at the foot of my bed.
“Uh...hello.” I say nervously, my mind running a mile a minute at seeing Twilight in the flesh, and the fact that quite a bit of mares sent me nude pictures to their hero.
“I saw a lot of what happened… even heard what you were talking about with those two… so the kingdom you come from is called earth? I’ve never heard of it before. Is it far away?”
“Far away doesn’t begin to describe it.” I say with a little chuckle.
“I’ve never seen weapons like what you used before, those magic crossbows and that giant key, what are those? Does your kingdom make them?”
“They wish.” I say, a little bit of pride entering my voice. “But...it’s hard to explain where I come from and...honestly…” I say before thoughts of my family and what little friends filled my mind. “Oh no…”
“Did something happen to your kingdom?”
“I could care less about my kingdom...just...thought about my family…” I sigh out sadly, knowing that I’ll probably never get to see them again.
“Oh.... did the monsters like from a few days ago…”
“Do you want me to explain what happened truthfully, or do you want me to just completely lie about it?” I ask simply, wondering if she’ll even believe my ramblings.
“... I can see it’s touchy… alright then, subject change. So what are those weapons you used called?”
“Well… those ‘crossbows’ are called, if memory serves, ‘Gun Arrows’. Yes bland ass name I know. But the key? Um...not entirely sure if I should explain that because way too much to explain and something bad might happen if I do.” I say, knowing that talking about a Keyblade could cause her to search for answers or learn certain things she shouldn’t know.
“I guess it’s just some kinda powerful magic item. When you used it to kill that creature, it released something… what was it?”
“That I can explain.” I say with a little nod. “Okay so, those monsters...there called Heartless, beings of darkness that steal a person’s heart to become what they are. The thing I killed was called a ‘Guard Armor’, and before you ask, the ‘Heart’ in this scenario is kind of like your soul in a sense, not your actual beating heart right now but...something even more.”
“I guess I shouldn’t ask about how you know this, guessing it relates to your kingdom in some way? Well, that aside, a few people said they saw you in the public library before the… Heartless… appeared. You like books?”
“Two things, one I had nothing to do with the heartless appearing just so you know so let’s get that out of the way, and about the books? Well...libraries and books were basically the number one things in my life, ever since I could read.” I say with a kind smile.
“Heh, same. I studied so much in my youth I didn’t make friends until just a few years ago really… So you have a place to stay?”
“Nope.” I state. “Nowhere to go, nowhere to stay...just the loner I’ve always been.”
She laughed. “Well ‘loner’ since you like books, you can move in with me, I literally live in a library and an unused guest bed… my assistent likes to sleep in a large basket for some reason?”
“Where have you been all my life?” I ask, slapping a hand over my mouth at my own stupid words.
“Parden?”
“N-nothing!” I say suddenly, my face beat red. “So uh...oh! What’s your name, I was only told by the nurse your name was...Twilight I presume?” I ask, hoping this will work to change the subject.
“Yeah, that’s me. Most ponies get the wrong idea about me since the Princess taught me personally. So, I’m guessing your name isn’t what ponies have been calling you, White Knight?”
I chuckled at hearing that. “Listen ma’am, I’m no ‘white knight’, even if I am awesome.” I say with a cheeky smile. “But...the names Bexn, or just Ben if you want.”
“Alright then, Ben. The doctors said it will be a few more days til you’re good enough to leave, and I think someone is gonna come by a little later to ask you some more… direct questions.”
“Listen I only ask direct questions after the first date.” I say with growing smile.
Twilight chuckled. “Then I guess Princess Luna and I are gonna have no other choice in the matter, you seem to have won her over when word reached her.”
“Wait wha?” I ask, my jaw dropping at hearing that I just won Luna, the princess of the moon, over with my little act of being a hero. “Uh...wai...wha……huh!?”
“Let’s just say Princess Luna has a type, that type being anyone who can single handedly kill monsters. You are literally the first person in thousands of years to do that. Speaking of which, she should be here already? I’ll go check real quick.” Twilight left the room, leaving me all alone to fan out.
”HOLY SHIT I’M GONNA MEET PRINCESS LUNA!? WAIT NO I HAVE A CHANCE TO DATE BOTH PRINCESS LUNA AND TWILIGHT! HOLY FUCK THANK YOU GOD!” I mentally fangasm at the thoughts rushing through my head.
“Well you seem happy.” I looked next to me, seeing the person who spoke… it was that masked man. “Have a good rest?”
“Oh come on~.” I whine.
“Relax, I’m not here to do anything other than just check up on you. Good to see you woke up faster than I expected.”
“Glad I made a good first impression.” I say, rolling my eyes. “But glad to hear you’re not as...trigger happy as your gun slinging subordinate.” I say, knowing full well that mister shoots first ask questions later wasn’t the guy in charge.
“He was in charge of his crime family back on earth. Majority of them are working for me now… they are behind a lot of things back on earth, can you name a recent mass murder that took place before you came here?”
“I mean there was that one mass shooting at a school but I doubt it was from a collective of masters, seems to easy.”
“The Greyville City high school shooting?”
“Yes, heard that the kid responsible basically turned himself in with a goddamn smile on his face.”
“Yeah, Greg Ventral. He’s with me to, lot of them have raw power I can use. He broke himself out of juvie and killed the wardens too. He’s a good asset to me, and Josh is the king of them all.”
“And yet scar over his blind eye tells me someone beat him in quite a way.”
“He did that to himself. Punishment for leaving someone alive.”
“Ya know… it sounds silly in context of a professional family of killers to leave someone alive...but oh well, books aren’t always a good thing to base life off of…”
“Truer words have never been spoken. Just stay on your guard, this Equestria has some use to me, and I will consume it… just like the millions before it.”
“Congrats on the Satan impression, mind sounding more cliched than you already are?” I ask sarcastically.
“You got a mouth on you, personally I like it. Just remember this, if there is one thing that will stop me, it isn’t you. I just like to see my opponent’s try to stop me. Zeke already knows how far I will go and how strong I am.”
“Well it wouldn’t be a good story if only one main character didn’t stop all powerful bosses like yourself.” I say honestly. “But again, can’t base stories on real life...even if everyone has their own story.” I say, starting to sound like Auron right now.
“Yeah, all our stories start, but just remember,” He jabbed his hand into my chest. “It can end abruptly.” He vanished into thin air, leaving me clutching my chest.
“G-good talk.” I cough. “Ow…”
The door opened and I sat up as Princess Luna and Twilight entered. “Greetings warrior… Ben… odd name for a warrior.” Luna said.
“Says the princess with a name that explains her job.” I retort. “I mean really, ‘Luna’ is another word for the Moon.”
Luna smiled. “A man unafraid of mine presence. Truly our children will be grand!”
My face turned a bright shade of red. “Whoa whoa whoa! Let me at least take you out on a date first before we talk about that!” I say quickly, starting to get a little frantic at hearing the sudden ‘let’s have kids’ talk.
“Can we at least kiss then?”
”Playitcoolplayitcoolplayitcoolplayitcoolplayitcool.” I think to myself, taking a deep breath before talking. “If it means kissing a beautiful princess such as yourself, it would be the best honor to have.” I say, trying to act like a gentlement. ”Nailed it.” I mentally add.
Luna literally jumped on me, her tongue invading my mouth. “Easy Luna, don’t make his stay any longer than it has to be.” Twilight said.
”AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” I mentally scream while having my first kiss taken by a very energetic Luna as my entire body was stock still as she kissed me.
“Aw, then I shall stay here with you two until his recovery. We will make a proper herd!” Luna states as she presses against me...
“But I like walking…” I whimper a little. “Also Princess...can you get off…” I say nervously, a certain something bumping Luna’s leg with as much subtlety as a truck at a prius convention.
“Oh, so you like me after all?” She says with a sly smile.
“Wh-who else would...be in this herd?” I ask nervously, hoping to have some help and not get molested.
“Sparkle of course!”
“Luna, let’s date him before you try and screw him.” Twilight said.
“W-well...I hope I’m good for you both...also question, don’t you think this is...literally the least ‘princessy’ a princess can ever be?” I ask.
Luna looked at me. “I have been trapped in the moon for a thousand years. Modern years were a quick adjustment, and quite frankly this attitude makes the nobles uneasy, which is fun for me since they’re all asses, and I generally don’t give a damn.” The lunar princess licked my ear. “Plus, I’m horny.”
I shivered at the touch and hearing her say that only made my fears grow. “Um...I’m not as ‘big’ as ponies...two I’d like to keep my hips from being broken, and three I’d rather get to know my mare before the plowing begins…” I state, hoping to get that across here.
“One, that’s fine, that’s why they made sex spells. And two, fine. But my attitude won’t change. So where are you staying?”
“Um...Twilight offered me a place to stay in her library.”
“Then I shall move in! Canterlot was getting bland anyway.” In a flash of blue magic, luna vanished.
“Um...don’t you think she’s being kind of...quick for all of this?” I ask Twilight. “And not just talking about the...obvious.”
“She still has some mentality from a thousand years ago. Back then ponies would marry at ten, or thirteen, and be parents not long after. She’s adjusted well, but she sticks to some things from back then.” Twilight said. “And honestly, I don’t blame her for wanting to leave Canterlot for a while, though I doubt Celestia will let her escape the paperwork.”
“Well when one princess happens to instantly want to ditch paperwork for someone she loves it makes sense...but why do I have a feeling I’m going to have a very bad tea party after a while?” I ask with a frown.
“Tea party?”
“Does Celestia drink tea?” I deadpan, hoping she would figure out the obvious reason why I said ‘tea party’.
“Not often. She prefers coffee.”
“You’d think she was a morning person. Given that her name is ‘Celestial’ and the sun is a ‘Celestial Body’.” I say, having a feeling I’m going to break my cover on knowing about the show.
“You’d think huh. Well, I guess I’ll call Spike at home, and tell-” Just then the nurse came back in.
“I have your water sir, also, Twilight,” She pulled out a phone. “Someone named Spike is on the line for you… also how did he get my phone number?”
As the nurse gave me the glass of water, Twilight took the phone. “Spike…. Wait, she, yes Spike Luna is moving in.... Yeah, a date she really wants a herd too… You can move into the guest room, that was supposed to be your bedroom anyway….. I know, wait, how many?! I, I don’t even wanna know, just make sure the…. Thanks, alright, also, how did you get this number, this is some ponies personal phone… How did Luna know this number?! … I guess that makes sense…. Alright, see you in a few days. Bye.” Twilight gave the phone back to the nurse who left. “Well that was crazy.”
I thanked the nurse and started drinking the water. “So...what happened?”
“Luna’s moving all her game consoles and ‘special built’ gaming computer into my bedroom, or as she is calling it, our bedroom now. She even got a bigger bed to fit the three of us, and she got you some new clothes. Spike managed to check on the houses circuits and made sure she won’t blackout Ponyville with all those gaming consoles.”
“Ya know…” I start. “Maybe this...will be the first time I’ll be happy.” I smile warmly, tears forming in the corners of my eyes at the rush of joy flowing through me.
To my surprise, Twilight kissed my cheek. “Everyone finds happiness at some point. I just hope Luna plans on paying the electric bill from now on.”
“She’s a princess, she could pay for the entire town and then have enough to build an expansion on the town just for funsies.”
“Fair enough. The only reason I’m not freaking out over this is because, A, I think this might work out… in some crazy way. And B, Luna has become a close friend… and if you didn’t come along she would have started dating only me, and I’m making you my sanity anchor from now on.”
I weigh the pro’s and cons of making a dirty joke at what she just said but shrugged it off. “Well I’m glad to be of service to help make sure you both don’t torture each other...but um...what would my fangirls think?”
“Either they’d keep sending nudes, yeah, I saw, or they’d try and join.”
“Um...I never had a girlfriend to begin with and Luna already took my first kiss so I’m pretty sure I’ll just stick with two…” I say sheepishly. “But...thank you...thank you so very much…”
“Don’t mention it. I’ll be back later. I’m gonna get you some non-hospital food, if Luna appears again while I’m gone, pray.” With that, Twilight left.
And for possibly the first time ever, I did. “God….you are now the bestest friend ever. Thank you.” I say, tears streaming down my face and the biggest smile ever to grace my face appearing as I started crying, not of sadness, but one of the greatest joy I’ve ever felt since ever.
To be continued...