Brian Lutstine woke and turned on the TV.... He looked as it turned on... It wasn't his? His white blond hair and unshaven but boyish face flashing in the darkness.
He looked around and discovered himself in strange bedroom with a the pony named Ashcloud from last night, he was about to scream when the phone rang, he answered, "Dad could this wait..."
His dad ask, "What is going?"
He said, "I really don't know?"
"Why were you smoking a Mary Jane with ponies?"
"Mary Jane!" There was a text and picture of him smoking the world's largest Dope Bong on the Cover of the Daily Mail with the words "PONIES ERODING OUR MORALITY!"
He asked, "What the hell..?"
"That is what I am asking... First you're afraid of them then your having a drug filled party with them?"
"Dad I need to ask someone something."
The Pony had it's hoof in a sock over him. "Ashcloud..?"
The Pony stirred awake, "Yes?"
Brian asked, "What did we do last night Ashcloud?"
Ashcloud looked, "We snuggled and kissed but no sex due to I am an old fashioned pony and only do that a few dates in."
Suddenly a naked red manned, pink furred pony came in. "PANCAKES!"
Ashcloud said, "Mom I am in bed with a man and I have at least underware on unlike you!"
Brian whimpered...
Cherry Bubble as little did Brian know she was called closed the door...
Ashcloud said, "I bet you hate to eat at a pony's house?"
Brian said, "I don't hate you I am just afraid of you..."
Ashcloud said, "Why?"
Brian told, "One of you did something to my mom..."
Ashcloud told him, "Sorry but it is not my fault?"
Brian told him, "I know that I didn't say I blamed you!"
Ashcloud looked, "You wanna be my boyfriend?"
Brian looked and told him, "Sure..."
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Over the next few days Ashcloud and Brian Lutstine became the office talk.
They were both except for being different species a perfect gay couple... But Brian seemed incredibly avoidant of the other Ponies in the Office.
Ashcloud was working when a Yellow and blue Pony asked him, "What is up with your boyfriend... He won't talk to any of us and he gets nervous when we try..." He replied, "Something happened with his mother?"
***********************************************************************************************************************
"So Dr. Claw..."
"Yes..."
"I am dating one of them now?"
"One of whom?"
"A pony..."
"That is a big step for someone who went catatonic when he saw them?"
"I know...."
"How did this happen?"
"Well I kinda accidentally asked him out on a date and he said yes, so I discovered after trying hard to get him to leave me that he was nice guy?"
"So can you use this to bridge yourself with other ponies..."
"I think he is enough for... It is gonna look weird if we do it..."
"Yeah biped/quadruped do look weird... I had another client who dated a pony and man did I have to give the weirdest sex advice? Of course that nothing compared to ponies or humans dating us Griffons. The Anatomy is much different on the genitals. At least ponies have familiar ground. Did I tell you ever my wife is a pony?"
"Woah erm no..."
"Must have been because I wanted you not to think I was unsympathetic. I lived in the Griffon district in my youth in Cloud's Dale. Most ponies wouldn't talk to me. But she would... When we were teenagers we fell madly in love. By the time we were adults and and had been world swapped we decided to tie the knot and found a human religious center which would perform the ritual. Now that I have received an honorary degree in Psychology for my thesis on sentient species child development."
"Tell me what are ponies mostly like? I know they like to walk around naked but I basically don't know much else?"
"Well they have lower Cognitive Empathy then most humans and they have Greater Emotional Empathy. They do kill things don't get me wrong and they can actually be more intolerant of other species then even the Chinese. But they show their intolerance not through violence but by legally encouraging others to be like them. Very pushy but not right out violently. When I was a kid I had restrictions on how much meat I could eat due to the ponies thought it was uncivilized to eat the flesh of animals."
"So I am right to be afraid of them?"
"No my wife is one of the nicest gentlest people I know of?"
"Well then explain..."
"Normally if a pony meets you all it's wants to do is be your friend. Not that some can't be bullies or even violent. But this pony obviously decided to be your friend and trust me he will give you a fulfilling friendship. But don't expect all ponies to just end wanting to be your friend. Ponies are just like humans. Very able to make up their minds negatively about people they don't even know.”
“Okay...”
They looked at each others drawings. Ashcloud commented on the drawing of Doom Guy blowing the heads off of ponies, “It is colorful...”
Brian said, “I am sorry? Yours seem to be erm... Erotic a little in nature...”
Ashcloud said, “They are meant to be like Aubrey Beardsley?”
They were basically ponies reclining nude with their goodies showing....
Brian asked, “Do Ponies have bigotry back were they came from?”
Ashcloud told, “I think yes... As my parents discribe tons of beings which could talk... Yet they only socialized with other ponies primarily.”
Brian asked, “Are ponies ever going home...?”
Ashcloud told, “Not my home I was born here... Maybe DJ Pon3 but she has a wife back home?”
Brian was driving... His nice little Jaguar was basically puttering and he had no idea were he was. He stopped in the middle a slum district. He didn't recognize it till a pony walked up to him and asked, “Would you like to ride me baby!”
He looked at the pony... It was dressed like a prostitute with a japeness school girl outfit with way too short a skirt.
Another one came up and told, “OHH SEX WITH ME IS SOO AMAZING!”
And then another and another....
He told them, “List-Listen I am not interested in sex... I am gay anyway....?”
One of the Ponies told him, “Well your in luck. Cuz we aren't girls... we are femboys.”
They all turned around and grabbed their panty and he saw it...
He started screaming and crying and running away without his expensive car.
Ashcloud was trying to get a nap in when the phone rang. He put on his assistance pen and answered, “Hello...”
Brian yelled, “COCK AND BALLS!”
Ashcould told him, “Next time...”
Brian just kept yelling, “COCK AND BALLS! COCK AND BALLS!”
“Give me your location...”
Brian yelled, “Outside the Pony Public Housing District...”
Brian watched as Ashcloud flew into view. A police officer was beside Brian. The Pony landed.... The Officer asked, “Is this your friend....”
Ashcloud told him, “Yes?”
The Officer ask, “Did you know he has been shouting, 'Cock and Balls' in the middle of a school zone during hours?”
Ashcloud said, “Listen he is a little nutty.”
The Officer said, “Keep him under control...” and walked off...
Ashcloud asked Brian, “What's wrong?”
“Huge cocks and balls...”
“Well aren't you gay...”
“Pony Cock and Balls!”
“Well I would like to keep that for next date...”
“No a bunch of Pony Prostitutes came and surrounded my car...”
“Okay.... So you need help....?”
“Yes!”
In the Pony Public Housing District …
“You know they are probably just confused because most of the humans who come into this district are looking for sex. Mom back when we lived here would tell me not to accept candy from humans. That was back when I was 6.”
Brian asked, “How old are you anyway/”
Ashcloud told him, “24...”
Brian told him, “So you were born here?”
Ashcloud told him, “Yes...”
They came across a group of pony prostitutes....
Ashcloud walked out towards the group and told them, “Hey listen you scared my friend....”
The lead pony prostitute yelled, “Get off our turf!”
Ashcloud looked, “I am a not a sex....”
The Pony Prostitute, “Screamed it's a human Pimp... The humans who come out here normally don't have that nice of cars!”
Ashcloud walked further up... “Listen...”
Suddenly Ashcloud got hoof smacked.... “BITCH!”
In few minutes Brian and Ashcloud were fighting for their lives... One unicorn Prostitute tried to ram Brian but he managed to punch him/her...
Punching and beating and craziness ensued for ten Minutes as Prostitutes flew left and right from Ashcloud's hooves and Brian's fist …
“Okay so yesterday... Why were you beating up sex workers in the Pony Public Housing District?”
The boss was looking at them accusingly.
Brian proceeded to ask, “Why weren't you?”
The Boss slapped his own face.... “Don't do it again...”
They walked into the office.... Ashcloud laughed, “'Why weren't you?' Were did you get that....”
Brian said, “Family guy!”
Ashcloud screamed, “My God you are crazy!”
Brian said, “Seriously if they hadn't bitch slapped you, I would have just walked away?”
Ashcloud and put out his hoof.... Brian slapped it... Ashcloud yelled, “Right on!”
End of Chapter