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// 46 - California Here We Come 
// Story: Perchance to Dream 
// by David Silver 
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When we officially entered the state, it wasn't nearly as spectacular as some immature part of my brain required. There was a border to cross at least. A friendly-enough guard was there to make sure we weren't bringing any pests or other invasive species into California. All three of us were wise enough to not mention the most foreign of species we had with us.

He inspected and searched and even scrutinized, but we weren't carrying much that fell into the living or edible categories, and he found nothing alarming. "Nothing personal," he assured. "California's a heavy agriculture state, we don't need new pests tearing through things. You look good. Enjoy your stay!"

"We're here for keeps," assured Kevin as we pulled away with friendly waves.

Starlight gave a little shrug. "Boring, but straightforward. I thought you said I should be concerned about the attention of law-enforcement here?"

I glanced at the rear-view mirror and the shrinking image of the inspection station. "He was looking for bad food, plants, and things like that. They don't train him to look for aliens. Most aren't. So long as we don't do anything really ill-advised, we're fine. The biggest problem would be if he asked for your identification."

Starlight put a hand on her chest. "I am Starlight Glimmer. That's not so hard."

Kevin snorted in a fit of laughter. "They'd want more than the name you gave." He reached into a pocket, the other keeping the van moving straight. He produced his ID and handed it to Starlight. "Here."

She held it up curiously, felt it with her fingers, then flipped it over. "Everyone has one of these? This wouldn't be too... hard." She flipped it back over and held it up. "Give me an hour, tops, when I have my horn and we'll have this settled."

I did not like the sound of that. "Even if you imitate it perfectly, on the physical level, the numbers it shows are all stored elsewhere and whatever ones you make up won't stand up to scrutiny."

She extended a finger upwards. "Be that as it may, I don't plan to be under scrutiny, and having one of these that can pass casual inspection is a step towards that. We won't give them a reason to look harder."

Kevin seemed impressed. "You are a little too good at this."

Starlight smiled, pleased with herself. "Wherever you are, there are rules to the game. If you don't like them, you change them. The trick is in doing that without causing a commotion. I'm not likely to get a real one of these." She waved the card lightly. "So this is the next best thing."

I wanted that card, but I wasn't a unicorn, so it didn't just float over to me. "Be careful with that. We'll have to get new ones for California, but until we do, that's what we have, and getting started without that is a pain in the butt."

Starlight gave a soft noise. "So this isn't valid for here?"

Kevin lifted his shoulders. "It works fine, but if you're not just visiting, you're expected to get a local version."

"Well, I am just visiting, am I not? I'll use this one. It will match better with our cover story. I'll be an alien, just not that much of an alien." She flipped the card over, then tucked it into a pocket. "I'll return it once I've made my copy."

My phone suddenly began ringing with the melodic little jingle I had selected. Starlight looked curious, but was quiet as I fished it out and swiped to answer. It was my boss, I could see that before I did so, but that was auto-pilot. It was only after the call connected that my thinking brain realized who I was speaking to.

"Linda? What's your ETA? Everything going smoothly?"

"Hey Boss," called out Kevin.

"That Kevin? Am I on speaker phone? Nevermind, I guess that means things are alright?"

"Everything is alright," I assured. "We are officially in California. We could make it to the new house if we do a marathon drive today, which I'm seriously considering to get it over with."

"Fantastic idea. I want you in on the office tomorrow. We need to hit the ground running. I know you're both curious about what you've been hauled across the country for, and tomorrow is the big reveal, so get to your house, settle in, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Well... crap. He didn't wait for a reply. The call was ended.

Starlight saw my discomfort. "Not as you planned?"

"Not even slightly," I sighed out. "GPS says we'll get there late at night, then we'll get not enough sleep and be right at work the next day. Far from what I had in mind, but I don't get to say no on this one." I tossed the phone onto the dashboard. "Let's focus on getting there and get what little rest we can."

"Sorry." Kevin tapped at the steering wheel as he went, looking quite sheepish. "I guess maybe I should have let you fly."

"I'm a big girl," I assured. "I can make my own decisions. Besides, the trip was great." I put a hand on Starlight's shoulder. "We got to show our magical guest around, see all kinds of interesting things along the way, and even get to know each other a little better. I'm not going to let work retroactively make it a bad decision at the last minute. We'll keep our eyes on the road and push on."

Starlight's eyes wandered towards the steering wheel. "I could drive for a while, to give you two--"

"No, thanks." Kevin smiled nervously. "If anything happened, that would be an immediate cause to check your identity thoroughly. Not to mention you don't know how to drive."

"It doesn't look terribly complicated." Starlight crossed her arms. "You just keep that pedal down there pressed to go faster, and use the wheel here to tell the wagon which way to go. Done."

I felt an easily avoidable bad end coming on. "Starlight, I know you could do it. You're a smart woman, clever and adaptable. Neither of us doubt you. You could do it, just, please, don't. We'll make it, and thank you for offering, that was nice of you."

Kevin quickly agreed, "Bet you'd have this thing under control in no time, but let's not risk drawing the wrong kind of attention. Even the smallest deviation while driving one of these things can get you the wrong kind of attention, and they will check that ID, and fake ones will not cut it, period."

The traffic began to get thicker as we pressed into the state. The hazards that we had been instructed to avoid were starting to crop up. It was another world, full of drivers that seemed to live under their own rules. We played it safe as we adapted and sweated out the few close calls we had. None of them were actual accidents, just moments of heart-pounding nervousness.

I had been hoping to take a nap or two on the way, but I was too worked up.

For lunch, we gave Starlight a break and we all had a big salad of various types and dressings. She didn't say so, but I was pretty sure she was happy with a meal that didn't test her resolve. She still ordered a batch of fries to go with it. A guilty pleasure? Either way, we ate up and got right back on the road.

Though more populated, the stretches between cities weren't that different. Long reaches of roads with little too special to see on either side.

Kevin sighed from the passenger seat. "If we weren't suddenly in a hurry, there's a thousand interesting things to see on the way."

"Don't worry about that." I smiled as I kept things straight. "We live here now. We'll have time to go see things."

Starlight suddenly got a sly look. "Because you two are going to become special someponies."

Oh god. "Now isn't the--"

"--There is never a 'good' time," countered Starlight before I finished. "This is a time. Tr--Linda. Do you like Kevin?"

Ugh. I was being relationshipped by a magical horse lady. I could have tried to deflect her some more, but she would be there. He would be there. She wasn't wrong. There was no 'right' time for that kind of chat.

I sighed. "Yes. Kevin is a very nice person."

Starlight's brows lifted together. "Nice is one thing. Do you find him physically attractive?"

Kevin looked quite awkward at that, even if I could only see him out of the corner of an eye. Still... "Yes... I always thought he was a looker, long before we ever got to know each other."

Starlight got quite the grin. "Then I see no reason for you not to proceed. You are both mature adults. If it doesn't work out, deal with that like adults, instead of hiding from the possibility." She leaned closer. "Like foals afraid to try a new food."

The sublime burn of her statement made me grip the wheel of the van in a deathly vice. I wanted to lash out at her, but that was an immature desire. I stomped on it, mentally. She wasn't wrong, just being a bit acidic in the delivery. I counted to ten in my head, perhaps 3 or 4 times before things started to settle. "Thank you, Starlight."

"My pleasure." She tapped Kevin on the shoulder. "Your turn."

He let out a little laugh. "You still owe me that flower-tasting date."

Starlight blinked. "What?"

"I said you'd get to watch me struggle with pony foods."

Another blink. "Huh, so you did... When Twilight gets that portal up and going, I'll give you a tour." She peeked over at me. "This brings up another topic I know you'd rather avoid."

"Can we not do two in a row?"

"Afraid not." Starlight shook her head. "Kevin, Linda here leads two lives, which you are aware of, yes?"

"Yeah?" he asked uncertainly. "What about it?"

I knew where this was headed. "What Starlight said is right. I have two lives. I go to sleep, on to life two. I wake up, back to life one. Kevin, I am currently romancing Celestia." There, I said it. If he hated it, our 'thing' would be over before it even began. That would be neater than a sloppy breakup for sure.

There was quiet in the car.

"Really?" he finally asked. "I understand you're a stallion in there, but Celestia? How'd you pull that off?"

That was not the question I expected. "You're not jealous, disgusted, offended?" Or a thousand other words.

"Jealous, yes, a little. I mean, I'm not, god..." He put a hand behind his head. "I'm not sexually attracted to horses. But if you are one..." He squirmed to a new position. "I'd take the chance if I had it. I'd be lying if I said not."

"Right, so... you're alright with a potential girlfriend who is very much a male sometimes and might be doing depraved things with a magical pony princess?"

"Good luck?" he said awkwardly. "Let's put it this way. Those are your dreams. If you get angry at someone for what they dream, that's pretty messed up. So long as you keep things straight between us and aren't sneaking smooches while you're in the same reality as me, we're cool."