Beer and a Knife Fight 3: Beer Hard With a Vengeance
by Present Perfect
Epilogue: "Ponies! Make Wa'r!"
At Ma Hooffield's exclamation, the crowd of assembled would-be revolutionaries rose to do battle. Ponies rolled birds (and Filthy Rich) in magazine pages as fast as their hooves would allow. Torches and pitchforks sprang up like so many trees. A pair of brothers from Appleloosa looked at each other, destiny shining in their eyes. Property rights be darned, their time was at hoof! They would retake the Ponyville Line!
That is, until Applejack rushed into the center of their group, waving her hooves like a madmare. "Stop, stop! What're y'all doin'? I thought we gave up an' were marchin' home now!"
A stallion pointed at Ma Hooffield. "She said we could make war!"
Applejack rolled her eyes and let out the biggest groan, you guys.
"Land's sakes, that ain't what she said a'tall! She said 'make water'!"
"Wadder we doin' again?" asked a pony.
Applejack face-hoofed. "Wah-tur!"
Ma nodded sternly. "I dunno 'bout all y'all, but after drinkin' all that tea, I could out-piss a camel! So if'n ya gotta piddle, I figger right here's the best place for it. Stallions go that-a-way, and fillies this'n!" So saying, she trotted off the path to the trees on the left, grumbling, "Honestly, y'all gotta learn to speak Equestrian."
The pitchforks and torches were lowered sullenly. The brothers from Appleloosa shared a defeated hug, swearing that next time would be their time. But as the group of ponies surveyed the woods around them, they had to agree, it was a fairly nice spot, worth stopping in for any reason. The wind rustled the treetops gently, carrying soft birdsong through the peaceful wooded meadow.
It was pastoral panoramas like this that they were fighting for: the true beauty and majesty of South Equestria. Try finding a place like this in Canterlot! You couldn't. Some ponies even began to weep openly at the sight, so filled were they with patriotic splendor. If revolution was not to be for a day, a year, or a century, they would keep this feeling close to their hearts, and live the true Equestrian life their ancestors dreamed of.
Then they were all eaten by bears or sharks or something.
THE COMPLETE AND FINAL END