Star Wars: The Snuggle Protocol

by Barrobroadcaster


Bonus Chapter: The Opportunity

A few hours before the party...

The Rebel Alliance Lucrehulk-class carrier, the Investor, was engaging a group of Imperial cruisers. The massive ring-shaped ship moved steadily behind Equestria's moon towards three arrowhead-shaped vessels. Captain Camro Varhom stood at the helm and engaged the forward turbolaser batteries on the Investor. Orange bolts raced through space and blasted the cruisers to pieces.

Nearby was the MC-128-class ship, the Cooperation, a massive Mon Calamari ship shaped like an oblong torpedo with four half-disc like protrusions protruding from its sides giving the ship an x-like shape. Four turbolaser cannon blisters were situated in front, arrayed in an X on the cone-like bow of the vessel. Admiral Brammer Rask, Camro's sharp-bearded commander, directed the fire of his own ship from the bridge command console, leaning over it and guiding both ships at once.

Admiral Rask's ship sped ahead while the Investor broke off to engage more freighters.

"You won't be setting up another blockade while we're around," Camro remarked.

"Captain, sir!" his comm officer said, spinning around in his chair. "Priority message from Equestria, sir!"

"Put it on, ensign."

Princess Luna's image appeared in the holoprojector. "Attention all Alliance personnel! We have reached a cease-fire agreement with Empire. Your orders are to disengage at once and fall back to defensive positions."

"Well, that's convenient," Camro commented. "Ensign, relay back to Princess Luna that the Investor confirms and acknowledges."

"Aye, captain."

"At least we stopped them from setting up another blockade." Camro pulled the Investor around and flew it away from the moon, back into Equestria's orbit. What no one on his ship had noticed was that the Imperial cruisers were actually part of a different Imperial group all together. In front of them were a group of Imperial transports heading for the planet.


At the same time, Bretton Macer and his gunner Gevin Darus were in the middle of a dogfight. Brett's helmet had two green triangles imprinted on either side, a testament to his commitment to protection. Gevin's helmet had a pair of crossed swords on either side, marking his commitment to vigilance. Piloting and gunning their M9 Y-Wing through space high above Equestria, they were giving the new Imperial reinforcements a warm welcome. As Green Leader and Green-Two, they were engaging the TIE Fighters the latest Imperial freighters had deployed when it jumped in.

A trio of TIE Fighters approached them in a vertical-diagonal line. Bret fired the frontal laser cannons and blasted the lead TIE to bits. Behind him, Gevin was already working the topside and underside turrets on the craft to track the other two. He blasted the top TIE with a burst of laser cannon fire while their astromech, W3-4V "Weaver" controlled the under cannon and blasted the the lower TIE. The two ace Rebel pilots then engaged their thrusters, forming up with their wing mates to attack the Imperial freighters.

"Green Squadron, on my wing! Let's show this new ship how we say hello!"

"Copy, Green Leader!"

"Copy, leader!"

Two X-Wings in his squadron formed up on his wing. They closed in on the first freighter, guns hot. Brett and Gev's Y-Wing flew by the freighter, strafing its hull with their underside turret as they made the pass. The X-Wings blasted both the engines of the small freighter, causing both of them to fail.

"Great shot! Get ready, Gev! Let's take out the engines on the next one!" They closed on the next freighter in the formation.

A light beeped on Gev's console. "Cap, we got a call coming in!"

Brett turned his head around. "From who?"

"Oh crap... sir, it's from the higher ups." He put the call through.

"Attention all Rebel fighters! Disengage and return to base at once!" Princess Luna said.

"Oh boy... uh, Green Squadron, disengage!" he ordered. He pulled his Y-Wing up and off its attack vector, leading his squadron away from the freighter. Mysteriously, it didn't fire back at them.

"We have achieved a truce with the Empire. At this moment, a cease fire is in effect. All Rebel forces are to return to base. The Alliance will not break this truce," Luna's message continued.

"What do you think this is about?" Gevin asked.

"I'm not sure," Brett said. "I guess we'll find out soon, though."

Green Squadron's ships turned away from the freighter and flew back to Sigma Base. The Imperial freighters, now unescorted, changed their course and took a different path down to Equestria's surface, one towed the other. On the side of the ships' hulls were two logos: one for Doritos and another for Mountain Dew on each.

At the same time...

Two Imperial AT-ATs were attacking a Rebel outpost. Stormtroopers closed in on the small Alliance storage depot, built out of an Equestrian windmill close to Appleloosa. The huge walkers fired new weapons- lightning lasers at the entrenched Rebels. A twin pair of bolts from the lead walker blasted a speeder, blowing it in half. One of the Rebels tried to fire back with a missile launcher but the rocket didn't even hit it.

The new lightning lasers on the walkers used high-voltage electricity along with the regular blasters to create a beam of coherent heat, light and electricity. The result was a weapon that could pierce through any shield and do massive damage to electronics underneath, even causing power surges in local grids. It was a devastating weapon to add to the Empire's arsenal.

Sergeant TD-725, or Groy Makker, as was his given name, was enjoying the newest Imperial toys. Groy's helmet had a pair of crossed lightning bolts on either side, while his copilot's helmet had the words THIS SIDE UP written on it upside down. He only regretted that the electrical feedback made it so they couldn't use the air conditioning when firing the lasers, so they had to roll the windows down. Although it was a bit dangerous, it was more comfortable than keeping them rolled up, and besides, the Rebels never fired at the vulnerable neck of the walker anyway.

"Hey... hey Groy?"

"What?"

"We got a holocall," his copilot, TD-811 Margus "The Dupe" Dupreegan said.

Groy reached over and turned on the holodisplay. "Attention all Imperial Forces, this is forward command. You are to cease fire and return to base, repeat: cease fire and return to base. Failure to comply will result in immediate disciplinary action."

"Oh, boy," he turned off the weapons. The Rebels, likewise, had stopped firing. He then started turning the walker around and led it away from the Rebels. Not a single one returned fire.

"The heck was that all about?" Dupreegan asked. "We're in the middle of combat and all of a sudden, peace breaks out?" he shook his head. "How the heck does that happen?"

"I really don't know man, no one tells us anything," Groy said. He rolled up the windows and turned on the A/C. "At least we can use the air conditioner now." As the walkers left the Rebel outpost, the Imperials didn't notice them unloading crates. The crates had Doritos and Mountain Dew decals on the side.

After the party...

Commander Reknaw climbed his way out of the dunk tank. He was under Imperial guard, having been recently exposed as a Rebel spy, so he wasn't allowed a holocommunicator or anything else. But, he still had one on him. After the party was over and the ponies, Imperials and Rebels had all had their fun and went back to their homes, and Pinkie's mandatory after party had relocated to Sugar Cube Corner, Commander Reknaw asked the troopers escorting him back to the Detention Facility if he could use the bathroom. Fortunately, neither decided to keep an eye on him in the restroom.

He got out a small holocommunicator from a concealed place on him and turned it on. He typed in the secret code to unlock it and after a few moments, it turned on.

"I've been compromised," Reknaw said. "The Rebels and the Imperials are currently in the middle of a... truce. I don't know how it will effect the mission."

The holographic images of Flim and Flam appeared in front of him through the communicator. Flim was wearing a Doritos shirt, Flam was wearing a Mountain Dew shirt. "Fortunately commander, my brother and I are perfectly prepared for such an outcome. Rest assured, our plans are proceeding well," Flim said.

"But, the sponsorships. How are we going to get them to rely on us more if they're not at war?" Reknaw asked.

Flam grinned. "My brother and I have it all taken care of, my good man." Both of the salesponies smiled sinisterly. "After all, peace gives us plenty of opportunities," they said, laughing. And Commander Reknaw laughed as well.

To be continued in the next installment: Star Wars: The Dark Vector...