I don’t really remember the next hour or so. Everything I heard sounded muffled, everything I saw was out of focus, and I couldn’t even feel it when Twilight would hold me. The pain had faded, but the sense of violation had not faded in the least. Acerak had taken a part of me, ripped an integral component of my being and destroyed it. I shivered as I remembered the feel of his hands rummaging around in my soul.
Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie had also had their magic stolen, but they didn’t feel as numb as I did, it seemed. It made sense, I suppose. They hadn’t grown up with magic, felt it infuse them for most of their adolescence, the joy of having it develop again, the sense of wonderment as it flows through your horn. It was like losing the ability to see color; you could still see, but the beauty of life was lost.
“How’s Fluttershy?” I whispered.
“Rainbow got her to a hospital pretty quick,” Twilight said, stroking my back. “The wounds weren’t deep and the doctor said there won’t even be a scar. Adagio said they’d poke their heads in, see if they could speed up the process.”
I nodded numbly, just staring ahead.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash came over, sitting down on the bench across the table from me.
“You alright, sugarcube?” AJ asked, voice soft and gentle.
“No,” I replied. “I have this giant hole inside me, and all I can think about is how something I had for decades is gone. I feel like less than a person.”
“You aren’t, Sunny,” Twilight said. “Just because you lost your magic doesn’t mean I love you any less.”
“I know that, Twilight!” I said, emotion finally breaking through my numbness. “I know I’m no different than I was. I know I spent years without magic, and I know all my friends still feel the same for me!” I ran my hands through my hair, letting it fall down to hide my face. “I don’t even know if I will get it back.”
“We could go ask Princess Twilight,” Dash said. “She’ll know all about things like this.”
Twilight rubbed her hand along my shoulders, trying to perk me up again. “If nothing else, we could see if Starlight has deciphered that book yet.”
I nodded, and we all rose, heading to the school. Twilight swung the bag containing the collars we had brought back over her shoulder, lacing our fingers together. It bothered me that I couldn't feel her emotions, but the Princess could solve it.
Between the three of us, we could solve anything.
We reached the portal and Twilight slid right through. I walked up behind her, took a deep breath…
And rebounded off the glass. I stared for a second, then placed my hands against the glass, not even seeing a ripple. I started to pound against it, hoping to force it open.
“No,” I whispered, still pounding my fists against it. “No, no, no, NO!”
Applejack came up and grabbed me by the wrists, trying to pull me back from the mirror, saying something but the words didn't register. I struggled, but even without her magic AJ was stronger than I was. The distance between me and the portal increased. I slumped as the realization hit me that I couldn’t even return to the land I was born in, and I felt my world sink again. She was holding me up when Twilight returned, looking confused.
“Sunny,” she started, but I whirled away, running down the street before my tears could start flowing again.
I slumped against the wall, sliding into a seated position, knees against my chest. I was back in the abandoned house I had stayed in when I had first stepped through the mirror. Rotten floorboards, cracked walls, the smell of mold and thick dust filled all my senses. My phone had been going off for the last ten minutes, texts and calls. I ignored it, just letting it ring.
I was worthless. I had helped against three great threats in the last two years, and now I couldn't even stop myself from being tossed aside like garbage. Even the portal had rejected me, condemning me. It seemed fitting that I returned to the place where it all had started.
Where I had started to bully those that were weaker than I was. Indiscriminately destroying anything that I viewed as a threat, anyone that stood in my way. Tearing Rarity down to scale the popularity ladder, tricking Dash and AJ into thinking the dates had been changed on each other, making Pinkie think no one would help her decorate for functions.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep the memories from surfacing. Which, of course, only made them surge forth faster.
And it all comes back to this, a voice murmured. Returning to your old habits, running away from your problems.
"No," I said to the darkness.
I told you it was pointless, the voice whispered, sounding more like myself with each word. You weren't enough to cut it at the school in Equestria, and you can't keep your friends safe here. Acerak will take you each one by one.
"Shut up," I whispered. "I don't have to listen to this."
But it's true, the voice countered. Otherwise you'd still have your magic. And poor Fluttershy wouldn't have been hurt.
"But that isn't my fault," I said, leaning my head against my knees.
Isn't it? If you hadn't stolen Twilight's crown, magic would never have blossomed here. And if magic had never bloomed, none of the evil you caused would have happened.
"But that means I would have never met my friends," I said, voice getting stronger. "Or Twilight."
Yes, Twilight. What a delightful way to treat someone you claim to love.
I screamed, grabbing a bit of rubble as I stood and hurling it across the room. My anger and rage built, and I started to unleash my frustration on the dilapidated structure. I punched a cracked bit of drywall and winced as I felt something slice my hand. I pulled it out and cradled it to my chest. Blood flowed from a cut between my knuckles, covering my hand quickly.
"Is that all you have to say?" I yelled, feeling better though I knew I was mostly yelling at myself. My anger vented for the time being and the pain in my hand caused me to look at it, the crimson color triggering a memory.
Rarity's hand, coated in blood, Fluttershy's face turning pale as it leaked from her.
"Fluttershy," I whispered, turning. I wanted to see her, to apologize for getting her into this. I headed towards the hospital, stopping to rinse my hand off in a public drinking fountain along the way.
I stepped through the door, hearing a soft harmonization. As I came into the room proper, I saw the Sirens sitting around Fluttershy, the mist that signaled their magic was fading, leaving some rapidly healing claw marks on the shy girl.
They saw me and smiled. My returned smile felt hollow.
“Hey,” Fluttershy said softly. “Is everyone ok?”
I hesitated. “Yeah, we’re ok,” I lied. Adagio narrowed her eyes as the words came out, seeing the slowly healing cut on my hand.
Fluttershy smiled. “That’s good,” she said. “But you don’t have to lie to me.”
I smiled. “What do you mean?”
Fluttershy sat up, spearing me with a firm look. “Out of all my friends, you’re the one that has spent more time hiding your feelings than anyone else. And, out of all my friends, you’re the worst at it. I remember that look on your face because I saw it all the time after the Fall Formal when someone would reference what you did, and you would just shrug it off.” She gave me a small smile. “What happened?”
I sat down, and I started to fidget. “After Dash took you out of the park, things went a little pear-shaped,” I said. “Out of all of us, you, Dash, and Twilight are the only ones that still have your magic.” I blinked as my vision blurred. “We’re physically ok, but we can’t touch any magic at all. I can’t even pass through the portal. The books aren’t working, and we’re facing something that we can’t even hurt.” I looked at the floor. “I can’t help but think that maybe we’re not going to win this one.”
She looked at me, then glanced at the sisters. “Could you give us a minute, please?”
Adagio put her hand on my shoulder as they walked by, and I caught sight of the bandage on her arm. She smiled at me and gave me a little squeeze.
“You’re being foolish,” Fluttershy said as soon as the door shut.
“How so?”
She held up her phone. “Twilight called me the moment you ran off. Asking me to tell her if you came here,” she narrowed her gaze, and I felt suddenly uncomfortable. “You have them all worried about you, especially Twilight. We all love you, Sunset, Twilight loves you. But you’re pushing us away again.” Her eyes softened. “Why?”
“Because I got you hurt!" I said, a tear slipping free. "Because of me, you've been put into the hospital, Aria and Adagio were hurt badly, and most of us have been stripped of something that has helped people, something that was special to me." I ran my hand through my hair. "You all don’t know what it’s like to grow up with magic,” I said. “When I came here, I lost it and it took a lot to get over it. Then we get our own magic and it felt like I was at home again, everything normal. If I could only touch it when we're together it would be one thing, or even if we could touch it only through the geodes, I’d still be fine.” I wiped some tears away. “But he reached inside and tore it away from me, for no reason than I annoyed him. And he enjoyed it, 'Shy. I could feel his glee while he violated me, while he..." My voice hitched. "While he raped me in my soul.”
I looked at her, no longer trying to hide from her the pain I was feeling, a few more tears leaking free. “And I feel cut off...like nothing is real. I can’t contact Princess Twilight, I can’t pass through to Equestria. It scares me, 'Shy. It scares me to feel like this, to feel hollow, weak.”
A hand touched my shoulder before arms folded around me. "You aren't weak, Sunny," a familiar voice said into my ear. “You just need time to heal and I can help you with that if you let me."
I turned to look at my fiancé. She had a few tear tracks on her face but she smiled that smile I loved. She reached down and pulled out the collar that held Element, holding it out towards me.
“You earned this the hard way,” she said as I traced the shape the gem was cut into. “Don't throw it away because of one setback.”
I took the collar from her and immediately felt a tingling sensation. The gem flashed and began to glow.
“What in…”
The gem pulled free of the collar and began to float slowly the other collars pulling free from Twilights’ bag, all of them circling the crystal representation of my cutie mark. As we watched, the Elements of Honesty, Generosity, Laughter, and Empathy began to glow as Kindness, Magic, and Loyalty drifted back down. A bright shaft of light shot from the gem, pointing to the east before returning to my collar and all of them dropping to the ground.
East of the hospital was the highway leading towards the mountains. Towards Camp Everfree.
“What do you think it means?” Fluttershy asked.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“The Elements in Equestria came from the Tree of Harmony,” Twilight said. “It was in the Everfree forest. If the geographical constants are the same, the crystal cave where we found the geodes is the same cave the Tree was in.”
“Only one way to find out,” I said, picking my collar up. For a moment, I thought I felt a pulsing along its golden band.
“I guess we’re going camping,” Twilight said.