The sun was warm on my back as I lounged on the softest cloud I’d ever encountered in my entire life. It was extra fluffy and incredibly conducive to getting a good night’s sleep. Far better than my bed back in Canterlot.
Canterlot? When had I left Canterlot? The last thing I recalled was being at the veteran’s banquet. At the banquet eating, laughing, and… and being blasted by Lightning Hammer! I gasped and jumped up, tapping my body with my hooves. It wasn’t burned. I wasn’t burned.
“Ah, there it is.” The voice was familiar. Incredibly so. It was one that I had not heard in over a year. One that was impossible to be hearing.
When I looked over, Russet Rook was standing on a large cloud next to me. He looked healthy and his coat had an amazing sheen. “Everypony remembers their last moment eventually and any of the less peaceful ones tend to have that reaction,” he said with a chuckle.
“The last moment? Wait, you’re dead, Russet. You died in my hooves,” I started before reality started to set in. “And I’m dead, too.”
Russet tapped his hoof to his nose. “Bingo.”
Wow, dead. I waited for the swell of emotions, but they never came. “I don’t actually feel that bad about it, to be honest.”
“That is normal. You’re getting acclimated to being here,” Russet explained. “One of the perks is that your worldly burdens don’t weigh as much here in the Near-To. Negative emotions can’t impact you near as much.”
That sorted out the lack of feeling sorry for myself for being killed. At least I’d made it count. I think.
“Oh, and you might want to check out your wing, too, Silent. I think you’ll be happy.”
I extended my busted wing and worked it through my physical therapy motions. It was beyond easy. My wing wasn’t damaged anymore! It was as good as new! Better than new! In fact, my whole body felt new. The scars had disappeared and the aches were gone.
“How about that!” I blinked. “Wait… going back a moment, what is the Near-To?”
Russet laughed and held up a hoof. “Okay, Silent Knight. Put away your Royal Guard observation skills for a moment. I’ve got duties, too. Let me start at the beginning.”
A million questions started to fill my mind as the reality that I was dead started to set in. This was what happened after you died! The possibilities were endless. I started to speak, but I just nodded instead. Russet would get to it all.
“Welcome, Silent Knight, to the Near-To. I’ve been asked to be your guide and mentor on transitioning you from life to death.”
That sounded like a canned opener. Perhaps I had not worked on Russet’s presentation skills as much as I should have when I was his company NCO. Slowly, I laid back down on my cloud, letting my chin rest in the softness. “Do you have index cards for this?”
Russet glared at me and cleared his throat. “As you may have noticed by now, your body is in perfect condition. That is because it isn’t your body. It is a semi-physical representation of your spirit. Your actual body is still back in the physical plane and, unfortunately in your case, has largely been burnt to a crisp.”
“I feel like that should be more distressing than it is.”
“In the Near-To, your emotions will be far less potent,” Russet went on. “Your cares, worries, and desires will also be eased. This is a place of rest and transformation. A place to prepare yourself for the Far-From.”
This was boring. Other than the part about me being crispy. The idea that that fact didn’t bother me didn’t bother me all that much, which should have bothered me… but didn’t.
I rolled onto my side, letting the sun hit my belly. “What is the Far-From?”
“Excellent question! The Far-From is where spirits graduate to when they no longer have any burdens pulling on them.”
I looked up at him. “You just said I didn’t have burdens.”
He waggled a hoof like a nagging teacher. “Pay attention, I said they would weigh less. As an example, you are one of my burdens. My death impacted your life, so it is my duty to wait here for you and a few others. Once I’ve discharged all of my duties, I will likely be ready to move on to the Far-From.”
“Wait, you’ve been waiting here for me since you died?”
Russet nodded. “Yes. Don’t feel too smug, though. There are a few more ponies on my list. Just like you have ponies on your list.”
My ears wiggled. “Does somepony issue me that list?”
“Not officially like orders from the Guard, but I’m sure you can think about it. Your mother, your sister… your wife.”
Regardless of the weight that had been removed, when Russet mentioned Crystal, my heart seemed to ache. I’d left her. I was dead and she was still there dealing with that. “Crystal…” I whispered.
Russet walked over to me and set his hoof on my shoulder. “Some burdens, even lightened, are heavy. You’ll wait for her and she will see you again. Take solace in that.”
I reached my hoof across my body to hold his. “Thanks, Russet. Thanks for waiting for me.”
“Anytime, buddy. It was honestly my pleasure. Now, do you want to sit here for a while and puzzle through this? You can if you like. There is no set schedule.”
No, oh, Silent, no! Somepony help him! Please!
My ear flicked. That sounded like Crystal. “What?”
“I said you can sit here for a while.”
I shook my head, looking around. “No, I heard Crystal.”
His ears perked up. “Oh! Yes, I’m sorry. As mentioned in my presentation, we are in the Near-To. As in, near to life or near to Equestria. However you want to think about it. Those that are entangled with us, when they speak from the spirit, can be heard by us.”
“So… I’m hearing my wife watch me die? That is awful.”
Russet nodded solemnly. “Yes, it is… but it is important that you hear it so you understand how much you were loved. Honestly, Silent, I appreciated what you thought and said after I died. You did it, too. You went home.”
I rolled back over and stood up, shaking my coat out. It didn’t need it, but it was an instinctive gesture. “It was how I felt. You dying changed a lot for me. I broke a bit inside.”
“It did. It made you hard and gave you the power to get through the war. These things happen. Good results from bad events. So, again, would you like to stay here or move along on our itinerary?”
That was a fair question. Since I was dead, it was probably a good idea to get my bearings. This would be home now. Puffy white clouds extended out as far as I could see. Somewhat stereotypical but fine.
The sun in the sky was particularly warm and bright. Large, too. Far larger than the one on Equestria. It also shared the sky with an equally large full moon. That was certainly different.
Off in the distance, I could see greenspace. Perhaps grass and trees. All of Near-To wasn’t just clouds it seemed. It was also relatively full of ponies. Now that I was truly looking around, I could see them all over the place in their multi-colored glory.
Some were galloping, some were napping, others were playing board games, and… “They’re playing hoofball!” I pointed a hoof.
Russet laughed. “Yes, we have quite a league here. We can go find a pickup game if you like. I’m not very good but it is more about playing than winning.”
Playing hoofball would be fun. After all, I didn’t have any responsibilities anymore. Did they have all the newest board games in the Near-To? Would I still get to paint figures? I started to ask Russet but other curiosities got the better of me. “I would like to… but what is next on the list?”
“There are some ponies waiting to see you. When you’re ready.”
“Oh yeah? Who?”
“Your father, grandfather, and… well… I don’t know what he is. Your great-grandfather times five or six.”
My ears shot up in surprise. Although, really, I shouldn’t have been surprised. I was dead, they were dead. We’re all dead. Was my dad still a jerk? “Do they have jerks in the Near-To?”
Russet grinned. “Yes, but it is the Near-To version. They care less so they’re not as bad and you care less so it doesn’t bother you as much.”
Hoofball or family… hoofball or family.
I’m so sorry, Crystal. He’s gone, but his last thoughts were of you.
That ruffled my feathers. Literally. Perhaps playing hoofball during such a serious moment wasn’t appropriate. Although, it didn’t feel fully inappropriate. But better to be safe. “Okay, let’s go see my family.”
Russet turned and started trotting. “If you’re sure, but if you change your mind, let me know.”
We meandered through the clouds of the Near-To. The dam that was holding back my million questions started to crack and I rattled a few of them off. Things like how Russet could walk on clouds, did we have to eat, did we have to sleep, did we have to work, did we have to use the bathroom, could we get hurt, and about sixteen other things.
To put it short: everypony can, only if I wanted to, only if I wanted to, only if I wanted to, no, no, and such.
In the distance, sitting halfway on the clouds and halfway on the greenest patch of grass I’d ever seen was a grey stone cottage. It was two stories, boxy, unadorned, and had a simple red roof.
When Russet and I got closer, the front door opened and a stocky white pegasus walked out. His mane was dark blue, cropped close, and featured his tufted ears. He smiled when our eyes met and started trotting faster towards me.
My heart swelled with affection and I hurried towards him. We collided in a hug and he exclaimed, “Silent!”
“Clement, I’m so happy to see you,” I said.
The old—formerly old stallion squeezed me tight, not letting go. “I’m happy to see you too, son. I’m sorry I skipped out on you like I did. My heart just couldn’t keep up.”
His voice was different. Less gruff and worn. He looked like the pictures I’d seen of him with grandmother. It was so uplifting to see him like this. “It’s fine. Really it is. I made it.”
Clement Knight finally let me go and set a hoof on my cheek. “Yes, you did. You did well, son. I caught some of it when you were thinking about me. Oh… and that bit with the dragons. That was just amazing!”
Russet cleared his throat. “What now?”
“My grandson convinced a bunch of dragons to attack a fortified area to save lives.” Clement beamed before looping a forehoof around me. “Now, you two come inside.”
“Okay, that one you’re going to have to explain at some point, Silent,” Russet said as the three of us went towards the cottage.
Clement pushed the door open and motioned for me to lead the way. The interior was very basic other than a vaulted ceiling. I trotted in and froze. My father was sitting at a table in the center of the main room. We just stared at each other.
His eyes weren’t milky anymore. The original blue was as bright as could be. Far lighter than the mane color we shared. It was a shock and I could feel some bitterness deep inside, but not as much as I expected I would. As Russet had said, the Near-To seemed to dull most of that.
“Hello, Silent,” Stratus said.
“Hi… Dad.”
Stratus Knight stood and sighed. “I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re not exactly thrilled to see me.”
Not thrilled. That was fair. “I am somewhat at a loss for words. You were both my hero and my villain.”
Russet cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, as this is a family thing, if anypony needs me I’m just going to be napping in the yard.” Nopony really paid him any mind as he left.
“I know. I tried to prepare you as best I could for the world as I saw it. It is somewhat ironic that I did a good job. That was just blind luck though,” Stratus said.
It wasn’t something I wanted to admit but he had inadvertently prepared me for the life I’d led. The question was, had he not prepared me that way, would I have led it and would I still be alive.
Wait… blind luck? I blinked. “Did… Did you just make a joke?”
Clement Knight stepped up beside me. “He had a sense of humor before I decided he wasn’t taking his duty seriously.”
I looked over at my grandfather before turning back to my father. “Yes, as I understand it, his father was rough on him, too,” I said.
“He is right here,” Stratus Knight groused. How about that, even dead he could sound grumpy.
“I’m sorry, Son. I got a little carried away. You know, despite our failings, you did actually raise some good foals,” Clement said.
I begrudgingly nodded. “Yes, after some pain and suffering, I turned out relatively okay. Other than dying decades before I should have. I don’t blame you for that, though.”
Stratus tapped a forehoof on the table. “Thanks for that. If it is any comfort, I’m not thrilled to see you, either. Not for the same reason. Mostly because, after I got here and then Clement arrived, I didn’t want you to throw your life away for something meaningless.”
That was something I never expected out of my father’s mouth. It took me aback. When I found my voice, I asked, “Hopefully you’d agree this wasn’t meaningless?”
Stratus shook his head. “Not at all. You saved an alicorn. It is tough to find more meaning in death than that. I mean, you could have fallen. What an awful way to go.”
I looked over at Clement Knight, my brow raised.
My grandfather shrugged. “As I said, he had a sense of humor. You just never saw it. Things are different here. The bad doesn’t cling very well. Eventually, it all burns up and you move on. Once you’ve taken care of your obligations, of course.”
“Waiting for ponies?” I asked.
“Yes, among some other things. Now, have a seat. We’ve a lot to catch up on and for the first time since you were small enough to hold in a single hoof, the three of us are together. That is wonderful.”
Stratus chuckled while I sat down. “He never really was that small, Pop. Wallflower never let me forget how much trouble she went to giving birth to my son.”
Clement laughed and shook his head. “That is something I recall.”
I flushed a bit. This is what normal ponies did. They laughed about their foals and embarrassed them.
“Oh! Where are my manners,” Clement said suddenly. “There is a pony here that has been waiting to meet you for a very long time, Silent.”
Another pony? What had Russet said, something about another grandfather? “Sure, sure. Who’s next?” I replied.
“Me,” came a smooth, confident voice from above.
I jumped up from my chair and took a few steps back, looking up. The feeling of surprise and fright passed almost immediately, leaving only curiosity.
A shaggy gray pegasus stallion with draconic wings was resting on a perch in the vault of the ceiling. His eyes were gold and he shared a mane color with the rest of us.
“Nimbus Knight,” I said without a doubt.
He extended his leathery wings and stepped off the perch, slowly gliding down. “Knowing who I am means you found my message.”
“I did. Unfortunately, I failed to achieve the goal you set out. I didn’t stop the cultists and now I’m dead.” That was more fact than emotion, too. Again, being dead doesn’t feel that bad. To be honest, it was actually pretty nice.
Nimbus chuckled. “Is that so? Review the facts if you will. First, did you save your alicorn from being assassinated by the cultists?”
I nodded.
“Good. Second, did their attack force them to clearly expose their plot?”
Again, I nodded.
“Excellent. Finally, did their attack, which likely failed due to your sacrifice, expose their assets and their abilities?”
“It did.”
Nimbus tapped a hoof on my nose. “Then perhaps, young knight, you achieved exactly what was necessary to result in the failure of our common enemy. And, on a selfish note, I wish to thank you. You were the last pony for whom I was waiting and I have been waiting for over a millennium.”
That… was not a bad point. Prophecies, at least from Exemplar Ferrel, had always been vague.
Exemplar, please stop, it isn’t working. He’s gone.
Oh, interesting. Think about somepony and perhaps be connected? I shook my head. Near-To, not Equestria. “Perhaps you’re right. Why have you been waiting for me?”
Nimbus stretched out his right wing and idly rubbed the tip against his fuzzy ears. “I’m honestly not sure. My belief has been that, since I chose to engage the three of you, I’d need to wait on the outcome. I just never imagined it would take so long.”
Clement cleared his throat. “Almost every other pony that was loved by Nimbus has long since left for the Far-From.”
“I’m sorry about that.” It was a weird thing to say. Essentially, I was sorry we all hadn’t died sooner.
Nimbus laughed, his eyes squinting as he did. “Not at all. This is a lovely place and I have had good company. Company that you will soon meet before settling here with the rest of us. If you choose, of course.”
My ear flicked. “You’re not leaving?”
“Not yet. I’d like to get to know you first. Something tells me I should. I also rather enjoy the company of Clement and Stratus,” Nimbus explained.
I almost smiled. “Again, never something I thought I’d ever hear a pony say, but that is fine with me.”
Stratus snorted. “I’m right here, Son.”
Clement just patted him on the back.
Nimbus Knight settled at the table as I took my chair again and asked, “I’m curious. If I understand my history right, you’re the father of our line, but also the father of Moonlit Star’s line. Is that right?”
The nox pony nodded. “Yes. The original Moonlit Star, Lady Luna’s mentor, was my youngest daughter. We had her very late in life, but she was somepony special. Her grandmother on my wife’s side was a unicorn. And even though she looked like me, she had an understanding of magic. Almost like a sixth sense.”
Clement shook his head. “I can’t even fathom that. It was all… well, unnatural to me. Useful, but unnatural. Watching things float around or seeing arcs of lightn—“ He cut himself off as he looked at me.
I waved a hoof. “It’s alright. It really doesn’t bother me. Although, something else does bother me. Nimbus, if you and your family stayed outside of Haven, how did that side of the family end up in there?”
Nimbus laughed. “Come now, Silent. You don’t really believe all of that nonsense about the door being sealed, do you? Especially early on when they had knights to protect them. Haven went into lockdown after Lady Luna rejected my daughter’s help and was then banished by her sister.
“That is when Moonlit took the remaining ponies and fled. She had enough sense to take everything of Nocturna’s she could get her hooves on too. Then she just planned to wait it out. Again, I don’t think any of us expected it to be as long as it was.”
Stratus’s head tilted. “Why was it so long?”
Nimbus shrugged. “Nopony knew any of the things that happened were even possible. Imagine if Canterlot simply vanished with both princesses one day without any explanation. Imagine being so angry at day ponies but not knowing why. It was a scary time.”
“Why were you so angry?” I asked.
“Ah, now that I know the answer to, but I’m not going to tell. It isn’t my place. Somepony else wanted to do that.”
Somepony else? “Is that the next step on my itinerary?”
Nimbus lifted his wing, reached across the table, and tapped my chest with the tip. “Only if you like. Lady Nocturna and High Marshal Moonglaive are here. They’ve been waiting, too.”
“If I like? If I like, I can finally go meet the ancient alicorn responsible for all of this and her high marshal. Do you even need to ask?”
“Nopony here does anything they don’t wish to do, so asking is essential. Besides, don’t sound too impressed by meeting a high marshal. You’re meeting one right now and you’re one yourself,” Nimbus pointed out.
“No, you are a high marshal,” I corrected. “I’m just a pony that got stuck with the title because I read some books and relived some memories.”
Stratus Knight sighed. “That was always one of his problems, too humble.”
Clement Knight idly cuffed the back of my father’s head. “That is one of his strengths.”
Nimbus Knight cleared his throat. “Gentleponies, please. Silent, you are a high marshal. You were the senior most knight of your time. You took our lessons to heart and died in the service of Nocturna. What more could be asked?”
What now? “You mean I died in service to Princess Luna.”
My ancestor merely shook his head. “That is a narrow view. The Lady Nocturna has always planned for the long term, and you may discuss that with her if you like. Just know that you played your role brilliantly. As did I.”
That sort of statement would have rubbed me wrong when I was alive. Without a doubt, I knew it would have. Here, it just mildly annoyed me. Briefly. My curiosity was getting the better of me when I said, “If it is all the same to you three, I think I’d like to meet the orchestrator of my fate now.”
My grandfather smiled and lifted a hoof towards me. “Go, do what you need to. It just so happens that time is now on our side.”
Stratus nodded in agreement.
“Then we’ll be on our way,” Nimbus said before leading me out of the cottage.
Outside, we found Russet laid over on his side, snoring softly. One of his hind legs kicked before he settled back down.
“Should we wake him?” I asked.
Nimbus shook his head. “It isn’t necessary, unless you want him at your side.”
I contemplated that a moment before shaking my head. “Let him sleep. He and I can pal around for quite some time, I imagine.”
“Without a doubt, but I find it unlikely you’ll spend a thousand years here. If you do, however, it isn’t bad. There are always new ponies coming and going.”
My ear flicked. “Does it not get lonely?”
Nimbus paused, stopping to stand on a rise of clouds. “I’m sure that it does, but I can assure you that you don’t feel it strongly. Over the years, you lose more and more of your physical cares. In time, you’re almost pure spirit. Once you are, it is time to move on to the Far-From.”
“Why the separation?” I asked.
“It isn’t a separation, so to speak. There isn’t a barrier as you’re suggesting. You’re the wall. Your hold on what you left behind. Once you let go you can move on to your true rest,” Nimbus explained.
“How can you know this or be sure the Far-From even exists?”
Nimbus grinned. “That is knowledge you’ll soon earn for yourself. I don’t want to spoil it. Now, shall we continue on?”
That was a frustrating answer. I thought after dying ponies would stop keeping secrets. Apparently not. “Sure, sure.”
We trotted across the plane of clouds, making our way towards a particularly large outcropping of snow-covered pine trees. It was an odd sight considering that it wasn’t snowing anywhere else, nor was it cold. I stopped to try and figure out exactly how what I was seeing was possible.
Nimbus saw my confusion and chuckled. “Don’t try to figure it out. The rules don’t apply here. She is winter and, thus, so is her domain.”
“She is winter?” I asked, my thoughts trailing to the Forgotten Winter.
“Indeed. The Mentor of the Night is winter. The Mentor of the Day is summer. The Rulers, fall and spring, respectively.”
My ear perked. “And the students?”
Nimbus chuckled. “They get their turn eventually. Never put a foal in charge of a season.”
That made sense. “It is going to take a little while to grow accustomed to the changes,” I said, my attention shifting to an approaching pony. She wasn’t wandering or playing like the others. She seemed to be heading directly towards us.
“Is that a friend of yours?” I asked Nimbus.
He shook his head. “She is not known to me.”
The mare drew closer, her grey coat contrasting against the soft white clouds. She was unquestionably approaching us specifically. When she was within earshot, the earth pony spoke quietly, “Excuse me, you’re Silent Knight, aren’t you?”
“Yes, have we met?” I asked curiously.
She smiled, her short, violet mane bobbing as she shook her head no. “Not exactly. You knew Ferrel, correct?”
I stiffened. Knew. Knew was past tense. “Yes… but how do you know me?”
“I’m waiting for her. Is she well?” she asked, a bit of eagerness creeping into her voice.
It didn’t seem like she was keen on answering my questions. She knew the exemplar, though, so that wasn’t much of a surprise. Finally, I shrugged and replied, “When I last saw her, I’d say without question, she was the happiest I’d seen her. She smiled.”
The mare sighed happily. “Good. Thank you.” She turned and started to trot away.
“Wait!” I called, reaching out after her.
She paused and looked back. “Hmm?”
“Who are you? How did you know about me? I know we’ve never met.”
The mare smiled brightly, wrinkles appearing under her eyes. “Kalinda told me and, if you think about it, I bet you do know me.” Without another word, she went along her way, a bounce in her step.
I turned to Nimbus and he shrugged. “Fair warning, when there are alicorns here, they can be as frustrating in death as they were in life. Now, come on. Nocturna awaits.”
“I… alright, let’s go,” I muttered, trying to figure out who the mare was.
Celestia, please! Please! Just this once. I swear, just this once. You can do it, I know you can!