//------------------------------// // Sunlight // Story: Hard To Find The Right Words // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// “I’ll squash you like the bug you are!” “Urgh! Stop, Trail! Don’t let her get under your skin. Calm down, breathe in, breathe out. Now stop flailing your forelegs before you actually hit me.” “Yeah, stop that. If you hurt each other then I’ll have nothing to eat. Although what little love I could get from this bitter old prune is beyond me. You -Crest, was it?- on the other hoof, feel a little… pent up? Love life a little dry recently?” “Say one more thing in that smug tone, and I’ll let Star Trail burn that grin off of your face… well, what little’s left of your face anyway.” “Oh hey, more death threats, how original...” “No, that was a pain threat, bug. Star Trail can make sure you stay alive as long as possible.” “Glad to see you’re finally seeing my point of view, Crest. Now how about you let me continue my-” “Torturing the defenseless is against the law, no matter how deserving or annoying they may be.” “Celestia-damn Royal Guard pussies. So what, are you going to take her across the street to your station and lock her up there?” “Exactly, now help me get her on my back.” “Why?” “Trail, don’t make me pull rank on you-” “I AM A PALADIN-” “You WERE a paladin, now you’re a civilian, and I, as the chief of Riverside police, can ask you for cooperation. Look, I’m worried about her being here as much as you are, but I’ll do this by the book no matter what you say. Now levitate her slowly onto my back. My wings aren’t flexible enough to shove somepony in her state on my back without making things far worse.” “Two things, Crest.” “Yes?” “I’ll visit her whenever I want.” “No violence.” “Agreed.” “And the second thing?” “You’re sending a letter to Canterlot about her today. There has to be a containment protocol for captured changelings, and I don’t have enough experience with them to train your squad. If she was dragon, things would be easier.” “You actually fought a dragon?” “Oh don’t look so shocked, Crest, your jaw is practically polishing my floor. Who do you think takes care of the unnatural threats that don’t happen in the vicinity of the Element bearers? We, paladins, just don’t get stained glass windows or press attention unless it’s really big.” “Almost makes me see you in a different light, you cranky old unicorn.” “We’re not having a moment, Crest. If we’re clear on the situation, let’s shove this chitinous annoyance on your back and get to sending that report.” “Oof, pretty heavy considering how skinny she looks.” “See these holes-” “Stop, I’m not a museum attraction, pony! The fact that I can barely feel my legs doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt!” “Oh, do you think I care?” “Owww. STOP THAT!” “Stop it, Star Trail.” “Ugh, conspirator. Fine, careful about the stairs, they’re slippery from when I was dragging her down.” “My head still hurts from that.” “Excellent.” “Anyway, the leg holes are an evolutionary necessity making their chitin armor lighter. They suck at swimming because of them, though. Say, you have a pool behind the station, right?” “Don’t even think about that.” “I was just offering free lessons to our ‘guest’. Possibly, I could tell Puff to teach her and Bladehoof..” “Dear heavens, no. OH HEY, BLADEHOOF, we weren’t talking about you at all. Good to know you’re, umm, still guarding the door.” “As per your orders, commander.” “Cool, a female voice. Deeper than usual, but clearly female. A green cocoon will suit you.” “I see Puff wasn’t completely wrong about things, commander.” “No, he wasn’t, and stop saluting. I know you’re trying to put on a show for civilians, but Star Trail doesn’t count.” “Oh, is that where we are? Sorry, my eyes aren’t the best during the day. You just called when Puff came and I ran after you.” “Damn it, Bladehoof, how long have you slept tonight?” “Tonight?” “This week.” “Umm… I had a nap on… Monday, I think.” “How are you still standing? No, how are you still alive?” “Thestral powers.” “Batpony powers of what?” “Umm, magic?” “I’m loading your next energy drink with sleeping pills.” “Heh, Palisade will drink that first, and then she’ll finally see ‘aaaaall the pretty colours’. Uaaaaaaugh!” “You really didn’t need to do the hoof wave she does. Hey, was that a yawn?” “A traditional thestral battlecry, commander. I am ready to pounce at your command. One hundred percent -uaaaaaagh- in action.” ” Good, good, glad to hear that. Star Trail, do you have a cart around, and a spare sheet?” “I’ll tell Puff to get it, why?” “I’m not carrying her on my back all the way to the station.” “All the way across the street you mean.” “Doesn’t matter, it could cause panic.” “Finally a smart word out of you, Crest. Do you need some shackles as-” “NO!” “Fiiine, I guess that if she tries something your batpony will just aggressively fall asleep on her.” “Just go...” “I apologize, commander.” “Bladehoof?” “For my inefficiency casting poor light on your command.” “Just ignore the old coot and get some sleep after we get back.” “I’ll have a nap during my lunch break.” “SLEEP. I’ll even pay you for the whole shift. Just close yourself in an empty cell and don’t come come out until you’re able to stand without swaying in the wind.” “Yes, commander.” “And don’t give me that kicked puppy look. You’re the best policepony I have at my disposal… when you’re somewhat self-aware, I mean.” “Yes, commander.” “Good, now go find Star Trail and pull his cart. Puff has enough on his plate already. Speaking of which, will you be training with him today?” “Not if I have to sleep, commander. But if I-” “You’ll sleeping today or I’ll knock you out with my blackjack.” “Yes, commander.” “Now there’s a pony I might grow not to hate, loyal and from what you’re saying pretty skilled. Bladehoof, was it?” “She left, changeling.” “Damn she’s quiet.” “Batpony trait.” “So there’s just the two of us, right? Me on your back, maw hanging right next to your neck- HAH, you twitched.” “Grrrr...” “So let me get this straight, you are the chief of the police in this town called Riverside, right?” “You have good memory and catch on quickly.” “Of course, I’m not some dumb drone.” “Could have fooled me...” “I’m not deaf, pony, and just like that you’re back on my ‘to be killed painfully’ list.” “Poor me.” “I feel you’re not taking me seriously.” “I wonder why that would be the case, barely talking changeling hanging limply from my back.” “...” “...” “...” “You have this Bladehoof under you who doesn’t sleep much.” “She has many amazing traits. Unfortunately, she doesn’t understand her limits. She has a second job and sends all money she can spare home- wait, why am I telling you this?” “Because I know when and how to ask. Because I can tell you desperately need a mare and that you saved me because I am one in your eyes. Love, lust, desire, all that is something I don’t need eyes to spot. A moment of emotional weakness was all it took. You dropped your guard.” “Holy sunlight!” “Aren’t you glad I’m not able to move? No more ‘annoying bug’? Finally realizing who you’re dealing with?” “What did I get into?” “Definitely not into a mare for at least, let me sniff you a little, a year and a half.” “Buck you.” “At least be my dinner first.”