"Well, the room could be a bit larger... and it's a good job you have a team of cheap imported cleaners now, because there's more dust in here than Randolph's old closet... but I suppose it's not about where you work, the point of you becoming mayor is getting things done... And believe me dear, if anypony is an expert at that, it's your dear old Mama... Just look at everything I 'convinced' your father to do over the years..."
Spoiled Rich had wasted no time at all in making herself at home in her daughter's new office, as she grabbed the seat adjacent to Diamond's and conversed with the newly elected official as though she owned the place. Tiara did her best to pretend she was busy with paperwork, hoping against hope that the bossy older mare would take the hint and leave sooner rather than later.
Sadly, either Spoiled's notorious weakness for recognising subtle social cues reared its ugly head again, or she just didn't care. She'd obviously shown up that day for a specific reason, and wasn't about to depart until she'd attained what she'd come looking for. Diamond wished her mother would just get to the point and tell her what she so desired, instead of interrupting a frenetic new work schedule the mayor had found herself festooned with.
But, no... she always had to precede her demands with a large amount of supercilious chatter, mostly revolving around what was trendsetting, who was hot in the local social scene and how unappreciated she was in the community at large. You might even say she could talk the hind legs off a donkey, but one had never volunteered to test that interesting theory. Probably just as well, according to reports the local hospital was overrun enough as it was. Just another problem for the new mayor to tackle, just as soon as the old gasbag blithering on in front of her was evicted from the premises.
As for Silver Spoon, she'd kindly vacated her new chair in the room to accommodate Spoiled, and could only listen in bemused fascination at the older mare's endless prattle. It was amazing that anypony could natter on for so long but say so little of interest, almost as if she was blithe to her own tedium. Self-denial can be a very strong thing she realised, thanking her lucky stars that her own mother was much more grounded in reality, and about to celebrate her thirtieth anniversary with the stallion she loved. No mean feat, these days.
"So anyway, as I was saying..." Spoiled continued to bleat on unabashed, nose firmly held in the air. "My previous experience as head of the school board will be such a coup in your upcoming administration, darling. I know ponies in very high places you see, and we can get things running quicker than you know! Why you never accepted my kind offer to run alongside you in office as part of a 'Dream Ticket' familial nomination I don't know, but at least you have the opportunity to correct your grievous error now..."
"Erm, hello... Me and Silver did actually win, you know." Diamond had finally had enough of her mother's mindless prattle, and threw her quill down to proffer up a few home truths for consumption. "And my deputy is in this room, too. You haven't even acknowledged her yet. Her cutie mark talent isn't camouflage..."
"Now now dear, there's no need to be rude..." Spoiled finally gave Silver a split-second glance, before she returned to extolling her own self-worth. "I'm just pointing out that if my name was with yours on those pamphlets and badges, we would've won by an even bigger margin. Mother and daughter, working for the betterment of myse... I mean, Ponyville. Still, you can't change the past, I suppose. What's done is done, as they say."
"Why exactly did you come down here again, today?" Diamond sighed in exasperation, her head beginning to sink into her hooves. She didn't want her mother to know she was getting to her, but frankly the younger pony was at the end of her tether... figuratively speaking.
"What reason do I ever need to see my darling daughter?" Spoiled said in an unconvincing display of endearment, as she leaned over to rub the new mayor's mane. "I just thought I'd show up to surprise you, wish you luck in your new role, maybe offer to 'help out' any way I could..."
"Oh, you mean like you 'helped out' father for all those years?!" Diamond suddenly felt herself vault up against her own volition, eyes narrowed as the bad memories came flooding back. " 'Helped him' when you told him what to wear and what to say... 'helped him' decide what to spend all his hard-earned money on... 'helped him' by saying when he could breathe..."
"Alright darling, please try not to be so snippy..." Spoiled began to show signs of annoyance for the first time, while a quietly observing Silver Spoon did her best to stifle a laugh. "It's not my fault if you or Filthy never took my advice. Why he kicked me out and married that mediocre fashionista is beyond me. Oh well, there's no accounting for taste, I suppose..."
" Now you're just being bitter, mother. You know perfectly well that Rarity and her two boutiques contribute massively to the local economy each year." Diamond's amazement at Spoiled's ability to redefine the truth never ceased to amaze her. "Also, the day my father got fed up of your selfish ways and showed you the door was the best decision he ever made, both for his financial prospects and his all-round health..."
"I'll forgive you for that last remark, since you were too young to know the true circumstances..." Now Spoiled really was getting a little hot under the collar, and her next few words were spoken through gritted teeth. "We simply reached a mutual understanding that we no longer wanted the same things from our relationship, so we arrived at an amicable decision that it would be best if we were apart. Dear, you have no idea of the tears I've shed since our fateful separation..."
"Yeah, all those bits you no longer have a monopoly on in his wallet must really miss you, too..." Diamond remarked sarcastically, feeling perhaps that her mother resided in an alternate dimension to the one she perceived. "As for that 'amicable' separation, who was it that fought hoof and muzzle for property and valuables that she had no redress to? You do realise you would have lost the case, and the only reason you got half of father's wealth in the end was because he was fed up of dragging the family name through the mire. He just wanted the whole thing to be over with, so he could move on. Perhaps you should do the same, instead of complaining about him to anypony who'll listen."
"I-I don't have time for this..." Spoiled had finally had enough of defending her indefensible actions, or maybe she'd just run out of excuses. "It's water under the bridge anyway, now. I've got a new promising advertisement in the local paper that a young, virile mare is looking for a handsome stallion to bathe her in glory during her prime years, and so far I've had quite a few promising applicants..."
"Oh, really?" Diamond couldn't help but find this prospect somewhat amusing. "What happens afterwards... do they quit first as soon as you open your mouth, or do you bail on them when their chequebook doesn't pass muster?"
"I'm being serious, dear!" Spoiled was on the verge of losing her temper, and slammed her hooves on the desk. "This could be a great new beginning for me... oh wait a minute, I forgot who I'm telling this to. You haven't had a stallion of your own since your education ran it's course, have you darling? That First Base colt was your last big conquest, by my reckoning. I hear he's a big hoofball star now. You really 'struck out' with him, didn't you? Hee Hee..."
"He wanted to play sports, I was studying for my politics degree..." Diamond recanted the story without much enthusiasm, completely aware that her mother knew all this already. "It wouldn't have worked out. Not that my 'love life' is any of your concern."
"Well, perhaps it should be, considering your never-ending failures in that department..." Spoiled finally felt like she'd discovered a sore spot on Diamond's rock-hard exterior, and she dug in with relish. "You know, working mares never get good dates. Too much manual labour leads to horribly chapped hooves, and lots of studying creates the most awful lines on one's brow. Much better to have a stallion of means take good care of that sort of thing, so you can spend time doing more important stuff... like trips to the spa, or making oneself look beautiful. Of course, there could be other reasons why you'd both be single, besides a demanding job..."
Both Silver and Diamond didn't like the sly wink they got at this juncture. "W-Whatever are you talking about?" Tiara flustered, hoping against hope that her mother wasn't implying what...
"You mean you haven't heard the rumours circulating about you two? Tsk, tsk darling... it's all the talk of the salon." Spoiled laughed arrogantly, while tossing her mane in the air. "I myself am an open-minded mare, but there might be some of ill intent who may try and use this information as part of a concentrated drive to get you out of office early, whether it's true or not. Of course, if you helped me out today, I may be able to make such idle chatter go away. Though, I'd still be disappointed not to have any foals in the future, if you did decide to pursue such an abnormal route to happiness. After all, you can't argue with biology, and adoption is nature's way of telling us we're unwanted..."
After everything Diamond had seen her ruthless mother say and do over the years, she thought nothing could shock her any more regarding her despotic behaviour... she was dead wrong. Stunned as she was by the older mare's barely transparent attempt at blackmailing her own daughter, it was left to Silver Spoon to speak for the first time, and express outrage for both of them.
"How dare you!" The greyish pony leapt up to confront the smug older mare, in a loud response that was more of a growl. "Me and Diamond are the closest of work colleagues, nothing more!! And even if we weren't, that you would put your own self-interest above the career of your own daughter is so disgusting I can't even fathom it! You should be ashamed of yourself, but I think as we've all discovered by now, that isn't an emotion you're capable of. I'd love to see the look on your face, if Diamond does decide to go through with this whole 'surrogate parent' thing... oops."
Silver quickly held her hooves in front of her mouth, but it was already too late. In her uncensored ire, she'd dramatically revealed Diamond's possible future plans to the pony she'd have least like to know about them, and now Spoiled finally gave Silver her full attention, leaving Tiara to hoofpalm herself to oblivion by her desk.
"She might be deciding to do... what?!" Silver suddenly found herself being shaken against the wall by a crazy-sounding Spoiled, who by the looks on her deranged face, might just start foaming at the mouth any second.
"N-Not my place... t-to tell you...s-slip of the tongue... v-very sorry... help!" Those were just a few of the nonsensical ramblings that left Silver's mouth, as her stomach heaved and her eyes rolled in her sockets.
"... It's true." Diamond had finally regained her composure, and summed up in two words the situation as it was. "Now, could you please stop trying to make my deputy throw up, and come to sit down so we can discuss this like rational ponies?"
Wordlessly, Spoiled abruptly halted choking Silver half to death, and plomped herself firmly in the seat, with a sour expression that basically spelled out: 'I'm waiting for an explanation'.
"Apple Bloom came by the other day, with the sad news she's been declared medically infertile..." Diamond tried to block out her mother's possibly apoplectic reaction to all this, and just concentrate on the story. "Her and Pipsqueak have been trying for a foal for years, only to just find that she's incapable of getting pregnant. So, she came to me to ask if I could be her surrogate, a proposal that I was honoured to..."
"And you told the little hayseed to 'get lost', I assume?" Spoiled interrupted, callously.
"U-Uh.. no." Diamond was almost lost for words at this stage. "I-I said I'd think about it..."
"What's there to 'think' about, dear?" Spoiled's voice sounded measured, but all the more dangerous because of it. "My daughter conspiring with our most hated family to add to the long line of useless mud ponies, with a spotted transient from Trottingham, no less! It's almost enough for me to run my own test, to see if you're my real daughter, or not. First, you openly defy me as a child, then as a teenager you choose to stay with your milksop of a father than live with me, and now you're on the precipice of something vaguely worthwhile, you choose to trade it all in to become a carrier for that... thing."
Diamond's emotions at this time were a strange mix between sheer anger and incredulity, in any case all she could manage in response was a strangled... "What?"
"Do you really want to go around looking like a blimp in all your official photos for the next few months? Oh, the shame of it all..." Spoiled rubbed the top of her head in pure anguish, as if she were the injured party. "And just think of the scandal, when word gets out you're procreating for the sake of a common farmer! The press will be camped outside my front door for weeks on end... I'll never be able to restore my former glories... Oh my darling, I love you so much, but why must you vex me so..."
Diamond continued to be rendered speechless in shock at her mother's cruel words, but she wasn't quite finished yet.
"I'll tell you what's going to happen next..." Spoiled said sternly, as she tried to take control of matters. "First of all, you're going to say a very firm 'no' to that Apple girl, and then tell her you never want to see her again. The less of her kind there are around, the better. Then, you'll fire that useless intern masquerading as a deputy you have over there, and hire me instead. I have much more knowledge of how to run public office than her, and I actually know when to keep my mouth shut when I'm supposed to. Then..."
"Get out, mother." The words were faint, but the meaning was clear.
"W-What?" Spoiled blinked twice, before giggling slightly. She clearly thought she'd misheard.
"I said... Get out!!" Well, there was no mistaking that.
"W-Why?!" Spoiled clearly had no clue why she was being asked to do such a thing, leaving it up to her daughter to describe exactly the reason.
"Well, let's see... You're a selfish tyrant who doesn't care about anypony other than yourself, you've never loved me or my father apart from what we can do for you, you treat all my friends like mule dung so they don't want to be seen with you, and oh yes... you talk way too much. But, I have the feeling we've heard the last from you today, because..."
Everypony in the room held their breath...
"I am going to be a surrogate. Thank you for helping me decide, with your unconscionable rant back there. If ever I need to make a decision, I just think of how you'd act and do the opposite. That philosophy hasn't steered me wrong for years, and I don't think it's about to now, either. Anyway, I think it's about time you left. Wouldn't want that queue of Lonely Hearts bachelors breaking down your front door wondering where you got to now, do we? Miss Peach Fuzz, please come in and see our 'guest' outside. Also, bring security... I have the feeling she's going to be quite rambunctious. I'll keep the tiara-shaped balloons, though. They're quite nice. Thank you so much for the 'visit', Spoiled. Say hello to the ground for me."
As Spoiled Rich was unceremoniously bundled out of the office, uttering more than a few most unladylike profanities along the way, Diamond wandered over to a still slightly croaky Silver to help her up.
"You okay, Silv?"
"Y-yeah, just a little short of breath, that's all, Di. L-Listen, I'm very sorry about..."
"You don't have to apologize for anything, Silv. It was a complete accident, and she would've found out sooner or later. That mare has a real nose for gossip, pun intended."
"B-But is what you said right, Di? A-Are you really going ahead with it, just to spite her?"
"Nah. I probably would have done it anyway, since I owe Apple Bloom so much, and apart from you Silv, she's my best friend. I must confess though, part of me did love seeing mother blow a fuse like that."
"You shouldn't listen to Spoiled, Di. She doesn't know what she's talking about..."
"As if I didn't know that already, Silv. Still, there is one thing she said which I'm not sure isn't totally false..."
"What would that be, Di?"
"Where she said you had rather loose lips, Silv. Remember when you announced to the entire playground on election day when we were kids that I was having a statue in my likeness commissioned? You know, to replace the entire playground apparatus? How on Equestria would that ever have won me more votes?"
"...Di, I've already apologised for that like a zillion times already. Can't you just forget about it, already?"
"Of course, Silv... under two conditions."
"Name them, Di."
"First, you be the best darn deputy Ponyville has ever seen. I expect you to work your hooves to the bone, listen to all your constituent's complaints and bring me regular hot cups of coffee. Do you think you're up to the task, Silv?"
"Well... I'll do my best, Di, but it better not be as hard as it sounds. What's the second one?"
"That you're with me throughout every stage of my upcoming pregnancy... you'll cover for me when I'm ill, make excuses for me when I have to make hospital appointments, and hold my hoof while I'm giving birth. Can you think you can do that for me, Silv?"
"That all sounds good, Di, except for that last one. What happens if I faint in the theatre?"
"Silv... that's the father's job. You don't want to be the father... do you?"
"Y-ye... I mean no, of course not. Whatever gave you that idea?!" Heh heh...