//------------------------------// // Oh No! Foal Protective Services // Story: Hard Court Press // by Hillbe //------------------------------// Oh No! Foal Protective Services The weather report using the most scientific methods of forecasting projecting sunny days for the whole of this week that was printed in the morning edition using the most advanced processing and delivery to date was propped up in the newsstand getting soaked through and through from this hours rain storm. As you guessed it. Today was going to be less then the splendid day that the entire Dragon family wanted or needed. ___________________FPS_________________ Rarity laid in bed cuddling her dragon body pillow half asleep lazing from a late nights work schedule. Even Sweetie Belles cooking was an appetizing break from the rush, not that Sweeties cooking improved all that much, It was just as burnt and just as mangled as before. But Raritys draconic conjugal changes gave her the cast iron stomach and the fortitude to chew through stone and melt steel. Twilight was crashed at the foot of the bed with her wings spread like a purple fuzzy brood chicken covering three little Spikesters or was that two Spikesters and a Rarette? Sweetie Belle awoke wrapped in blankets like a changeling cocoon her struggle from the snuggle and muffled cries for help fell on the ears of one bat pony hanging on her bedroom rafters "So help me Rarity you're going to pay for this!" Rarity knew she could trust the Lunar body guards honor to behave like a gentlecolt around her little sister. As for the little terror of Ponyville Rarity made sure she would act like a little lady even if it meant wrapping her up like a mummy to keep her hooves to herself even if Cookie and Hondo gave their blessing to little Miss Belles special some'bat'pony. After all her big sister did merry a dragon. "Don't just hang there looking stupid give me a hoof here". Frosty hung there with a big grin slowly clapping his hooves together in a golfers clop, She looked even cuter when she's peeved. The suns rays illuminated the clouds above as below the overcast drizzled and rained on the little hamlet. No exciting thunder or lightning blasting through the skies no winds of hurricane speeds. Just meh! meh meh meh. Twilight and Spike had breakfast started as the rest of the household continued to freshen up. Rarity of course taking a bit more time. After all her presentation to the world had to meet her fashionably high standards with her little Unique mimicking her every move. Sweetie and Frosty set the table with the help of Red and Crimson if you consider that sword fighting with forks and spoons helping. "Boys!" Twilight spoke softly as her magic disarmed the duo "Spike needs you to carry the waffles and pancakes to the table". The clatter of silverware and the tinkling of glasses filled the air along with the smells of this mornings vittles. Bacon pancakes with powdered sapphires, waffles and blended berries topped in whip cream, sausage tofu scrambled eggs oat meal, cereal, toast, rolls and a host of beverages. Auntie Celesta trained Spike to serve as Twilights assistant, But as a gentledrake he served everypony, especially those close to his heart, the results were evident everyday. Mostly everyday, We all make little mistakes from time to time... right? RIGHT? _____________________________________FPS_____________________________________ Her path was sure her steps swift her hooves muddy and they echoed through the town proper with the sound of doom. "Why would anypony raise their foals in a dress shop?" a voice cold as a winters killing frost "or with a wild beast no doubt". "Mom Red's hogging all the pancakes!" "Auntie Twilight please pass the butter" "These waffles are scrumptious wherever did you get such an idea?" "BbbrrrrrrrrraaaaaaacccccccckkkkKK" "Right on sissy". "Unique Sapphire a lady never belches at the breakfast table". "Sounded cool here" "Spike!" "Well the waffle idea came from the Power Ponies fourteenth edition and you got to admit that belch was pretty cool". "Daddy watch this!" BbbbbbrrrrrrrrrraaaaaacccccccccckkkkkkkkkKKKK" Yes it was a hold my beer moment as Crimson Rubys fire ball bounced off the ceiling rolled around the sink three times exiting out the dining room kitty door as Opalessence tried to make her grand entrance that became a pained exit. "Meeeouch!" It pays to plan ahead as Twilights enchantment kept the family cat from becoming kitty bacon. "Crimson Ruby Dragon thee Great Honorable Brave Glorious stinker! you do that again... You know the rules!" blue eyes drilled the message home. "Yes mom..." Crimson knew she meant business "No fire balls inside the house". "That is surely the rule in this home young dragon remember it, if you must display those skills you have all of the outdoors later". PhrrrraP! "Red Ruby what was that?" "But Maaaaaaa!" he moaned "It wasn't a fire ball". "Spike you're such a dreadful influence on our foals and I wanted such gentlecolts, What am I going to do with the males of...honestly!" Spikes chuckles filled the room "Really it's a guy thing". Twilight whispered "You sure know Raritys taste in guys". Rarity spoke up "Taste in what dear?" "Should taste the Hay fries!" Twilight sputtered "Spike makes a mean bag of hay fries, don't you Spike?" The mornings meal and shenanigans continued as well as the approaching steps outside in the rain. -----------------------------------FPS----------------------------------------- A knock on the boutique door beckoned Rarity but the display floor wasn't to open for another hour. "I'll get it" Twilight could see Mrs. Fashion platter busy with her little pongons with a scheduled midmorning nap time. "Thank you Twilight your such a dear" her tucking in being only halfway tucked. Twilight answered the door and the quiet "The Boutique's not open till..." devolved into a heated debate the stranger now held in a protective bubble as Twilight called for Frost Nights service. Sweetie Belle Spike and Rarity formed into a defensive line as the Lunar guard came to Twilights aid. Surely in a moment things would be sorted out for the better. "I'm afraid her papers are in order" Frosty shook his head "But these charges are absolutely preposterous". "I'm here to safeguard these foals from this abusive environment" The Agent said "I'm here to immediately investigate and resolve any issues that might arrive from the facts I find". "I need your case packet and the complaint warrant" Twilight was peeved "You do know who I am... Miss?" "Misses Thistle Rumpcoat" Her icy voice brought shivers down the withers and spine of all that heard it. "here's the packet but the warrant has to remain confidential only Court officers can see the warrants complaint sheet". "Spike get my Court seal and Notary docu. . " Before Twilight could finish he gave Rarity a quick peck on the cheek and raced through the door his apron flapping in the breeze "ments" unnoticed by the agent her head buried in her satchel. "You will find my papers to be in order the sooner I start the sooner we shall be done here, I'm going nowhere, here is the list of interested parties involved to be questioned" Rumpcoat said in standard cubical hamster. Twilight looked at the agent "So who do you want to start with?" "The mare Rarity and her live in stallion first" Thistle trudged past the princess and sat at the first table in the room the foals crayons and other drawing supplies swept to the side with no regard at all. A surprised huff and gasps coming from the rest of the group. "Shall we get started?" Rumpcoat motioned for her suspect to come forward "Rarity Sparkle?" Twilight leaned in to join the two "Princess if you please this is a private investigation, Rarity Sparkle I'm waiting". "Yes, you may call me Mrs. Dragon". "That's quite an unusual name you have there". "As an element of Harmony and with my services to the crown I have many names, But you can call me 'Mrs. Dragon". "Very well Mrs. Dragon" Agent Thistle Rumpcoat started "have you ever stalked anypony or engaged in behavior that would be seen as criminal or unsavory?" "No I don't believe so". "Are you sure Mrs. Dragon?" "Yes". "Four years ago you were seen nude before guests of the Grand Galloping Gala and a year before that at that at another Gala you assaulted a member of the Royal family and tried to hide your actions with an animal stampede." "Oh?" "Harassing diamond dogs, Your connections with the stalliongrad mafia in Manehatten is documented , along with your dealings with an undercover agent with the Maretropolitan police trying to buy an unregistered cannon with a Misses Pie who is under investigation at this moment for espionage on the side of the Changeling Nation, What do you have say in your defense?" "The diamond dogs foalnapped me and as for Prince Blue Blood he used me as a body shield and I didn't stalk him". "Trenderhoof?" Rumpcoat continued "and are you running an unlicensed foal care facility?" "No! yes? no? WHAT? Sweetie Belles my very own sister!" "The three of them?" "Her friends. Surely you can't be serious?" "Yes and don't call me Surely" Thistle Rumpcoats infernal questions continued "Are you suffering from extraordinary stresses?" "None I don't believe so". "Mrs. Dragon I think when Ponyville was attacked by that rogue dragon those many years ago you couldn't take the pressure after being an Element and a mare who drives herself in business it comes as no surprise that you're having delusions of dragonhood. "What?" "Well look at you, your vane attempt to mimic a dragon, the fake claws on your hooves and the scaly patches on your chest. Next you'll be saying that your foals are little dragons..." "They are Mrs. Rumpcoat". "Ma ma waa? " Unique wondered into the room looking for Rarity "Ma waa?" "Oh what a sweet little filly you have there". " Yes Miss rumpcoat that's Unique Sapphire my youngest,Twilight please be a dear?" Twilight ushered the foal to the kitchen for her refreshment a quiet settled on the room as Thistle Rumpcoat scribbled on her note pad. "That will be all for you Mrs. Rarity Sparkle, I need to question the rest of your household". "That would be my husband Spike" Rarity let out a nervous breath "He should be here shortly". ----------------------------------------------FPS-------------------------------------------- Minutes passed by as Rumpcoat continued to fill out the reams of documents and quadruple check her work. Rarity excused herself to the ladysroom as Twilight waited for Spike to return her attention drawn to the stacks of the FPS documents on the case. "You know I must report on Raritys condition to the local authorities don't you?" "I am the local authority here in Ponyville" "Do you know Raritys husband Spike?" "Of course he's been my assistant from my time at Canterlot to now" Twilight beamed "He's the most trustworthy guy I know! ask away!" "During an Equestrian conference did your assistant make unlawful changes to the crowns orders during your absences?' "No his actions were approved at the time". "Did he construct a dangerous tower of rock and stones that caused a Wonderbolts injury?" "Rainbow Dash volunteered and she wasn't a Wonderbolt at that time". "Oh I see...I read that your assistant stopped a rampaging dragon that wrecked Ponyville but was reported stealing a fillys scooter and a bunch of other property that wasn't his, Is this true?". "Yes but all the property was returned with restitution" Twilight just blankly looked at her inquisitor wondering what was next. "And he sided with the Changelings before that last attack" the papers fluttered "Here it has him running away because of an identity crisis and stealing a rare species of endangered bird" What else was there? "Spike was seen abusing animals in his care by... Wadding them into a ball and rolling them through the streets, You said he was or is your assistant? I surely need to see this Spike". "Is and Thorax was a reformed changeling and as for Pinkie being a traitor we thought she was dating a dozen guys at once but he was actually a really nice changeling named Doomee as for the anim... " Twilight was sweating and feeling like the spotlight was on her till the boutiques doorbell rang as the man of the hour entered. "Sorry Twilight I went as fast as I could" His hands on his knees winded from the run "Here's your stuff" he was puffing smoke rings. " A DRAGON !" screamed Thistle Rumpcoat. She raced past Twilight galloping across to the next room diving quickly behind the neatest chest. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" The pongon twins screams were complemented with fire and brimstone laced smoke with a side of flying embers and burnt plushy toys. "NooooooooooooDragons AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"Rumpcolt screamed. Spike yelled "What in Tartarus is going on here!" Twilight screamed "RARITY! !" "RRRRROOOOAAAARRRRRRR !" TIME FROZE. Spike looked on saying "Wow Rarity". The twins oohed and awed at the sight. Frosty held on to Sweetie Belle "Looks like someone really pissed off your sister". Thistle Rumpcoat shook in fear grasping the nearest safe soft fuzzy thing near her. Rarity looked down at the agent of doom with raging dragon eyes her size tripled her fangs bare fire and blue smoke bellowing. The mare much more dragon looking. Her claws wide sharper longer and deadlier. "Unhoof my foal!" Thistle looked down at the soft fuzzy dracony hissing through razor sharp teeth her forked tongue whipping about, her little green dragon eyes filled with tiny dragon anger as wisps of smoke and flame exited her nostrils. Red Ruby and Crimson Ruby slowly stalked the foalnapper both of them growling in unholy unity "Let her go". If Thistles horror of having four hybrid pony dragons on the warpath were not enough, Unique dissolved into vapor from her grasp. Thistle bleated weakly "I only wanted to protect the little foals... I was only doing my job." her tears began to flow. Uniques ghostly blue glow surrounded the dracony as she stood with her flank facing Rumpcoat she raised her tail and "Bfrapppp" "Roarrrrrrr!" the building shook as another dragon joined in the frenzy. Unique Sapphire froze solidifying looking up at pa pa thinking Oh me bad... Thistle Rumpcoat saw a giant purple claw reach out and gently pluck the white dracony filly from the floor. "MINE!" The two Pongon twins were then scooped up in purple arms. "Mine". The angry dragon lady was wrapped in a purple dragons tail and cuddled ferociously. The dragon softly cooed "Mine" as he looked into her eyes "Milady what are we going to do about our little lady's lack of manors?" "Oh dear! she actually did that to our guest! Oh my!" Rarity snapped from dragon kill mode to homes and garden guest mode, her size reverting back to a fashionable polite host pony. "Miss Rumpcoat please forgive Unique she can be a little free spirited at times" Rarity her normal hanging upside down from a dragons tail normal motioned to the table as a silver tea set arranged itself. "Milk and sugar?" She smiled weakly "how would you like your tea?" --------------------------------------------------Oh? No Foal Protective Service----------------------------------------- Twilight smiled as she escorted Miss Thistle Rumpcoat to the doors of the Foal Protective Services office. "Technically they are only part foals, I'm still studying the effects". "Princess are you sure you can handle your wards they are quite a hoofful". "I'm sure, dragons do have a very strong bond to their hordes and hoards they will go at great lengths to protect their homes". Spike stood back waving a friendly goodbye to the FPS agent. "He sure is different than what I read about him and here all this time I thought she was living with a dangerous beast". "How do you think how he became the father of four?" "I heard that!" Spike crossed his arms beaming at his Princess of Friendship. Twilight bid Thistle Rumpcoat a good day. Twilight held the warrant in her magic grasp and looked at the name issuing the complaint. Spike quizzed the Alicorn about who would cause such a mess in the first place. Her answer surprised him. "But Mr. Overdraft died from a Bar-B-Que accident over a year ago". Her next explanation didn't surprise anypony "The wheels of government roll slow and steady". He added his two bits "and gave us the Postal Service". "That reminds me, Spike where did you leave my notary supplies?" While back at the boutique Sweetie Belle watched over the twins "Red, Crimson? That looks so cool! Where did you get those fancy stamp pads and quills?" Well at least it stopped raining.