Log Date: 7 26 3
Subject: “Princess Twilight Sparkle”
Audio Recorded by: Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG
“It has been three Equestria days since I have taken up refuge in the settlement known as Ponyville: a quaint and rather dull place. My attempts to contact Steven and the other Gems has been proving exceedingly difficult, if not impossible. I can’t tell if these ponies have inferior technology or are just clods. Still, this development has a silver lining; I have made an acquaintance with a pony of supposedly great importance, known as the Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. According to my research, the title of “Princess” is an insinuation of royalty. This dimension appears to be governed by a monarchy of royals, a horrifically outdated form of governance if you compare it to the highly effective and efficient system of government that the Diamonds have instituted on Homeworld and the colonies. Still, credit where it is due, the Twilight Sparkle Princess seems to be presiding over her kingdom well enough, I suppose. Apparently, the Twilight Sparkle is of a rare subspecies of pony known as an “Alicorn”, a mutation of both a Pegasus and a Unicorn—and presumably bears the physical gifts of the Earth Pony species as well. My observations also confirm that the Alicorn species are indeed highly capable of making full use of Pegasus and Unicorn unique abilities—these being flight and cosmic powers. Further observation is required to determine if they can make use of Earth pony abilities as well. This species are truly a marvel of evolution. If we were on Homeworld, I would see to the preservation and display of the Twilight Sparkle’s skeletal structure in the most prestigious study halls on Homeworld, upon her expiration.”
“HaHa, you wanna put Twilight in a museum! I tell ya Peri, She’d feel right at home! HaHa!”
“Spike, try not to interrupt Peridot while she is recording”
*transmission cuts out*
...
*transmission resumes*
*growls and irritated babbling* “Of all the things in this dimension that could possibly irritate me, it’s the Twilight Sparkle’s Pearl she calls the “Spike”. Clearly, an inferiorly grown Pearl that is severely lacking in restraint and discipline. This atrocious excuse for a Pearl has even attempted to assault me on multiple occasions in an attempt to devour my gemstone in my forehead! My conclusion: this Pearl is an undeniable clod and is in-fact a threat to all gems in its vicinity and should be promptly terminated.”
*clears throat* “On another note, the Twilight Sparkle mentions that she was once a Unicorn and had undergone a mutation and evolved into an Alicorn. She states that her transformation resulted from completing a monumental task, after which she was granted her wings by her superior. Though I still believe that such a method of evolution is improbable. The Twilight Sparkle further states that as a Unicorn, she served as an apprentice and a researcher to her superior. Her task was to research cosmic energy she calls the “Magic of Friendship”. According to her research, this energy is inherent to all sentient beings. This energy is composed of six basic substances: Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, and Magic. I hope to be able to quantifiably measure these substances; perhaps they could be of use to Homeworld. The Twilight Sparkle, while a member of the royal caste of Equestria society, has also proven to be a most competent—and dare I say, proficient—researcher, debater, and scientist. Though still meek in comparison to myself, of course. The Twilight Sparkle’s organizational skills alone are something Homeworld would find highly valuable… I must admit, I admire her academic and technical skills as well as her competence as a Diamond. In the meantime, I will ask her to assist me in returning to Earth, hopefully sooner rather than later. Peridot out.”
-End of transmission