//------------------------------// // Interrogation // Story: Hard To Find The Right Words // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// “Stop-ow” “No.” “Slow-ow down-ow!” “No” “Damn-ow, these-ow cursed-ow stairs-ow!” “Just stairs.” “At least-ow grab me-ow by the-ow head!” “No, I like the hollow thumping as it hits every step.” “You insole-ow insol-ow insolen-ow STOPGOINGFASTER! Oh thank the Queen’s chitin, a floor. Cold stone... couldn't afford a carpet, cheapskate?” “You're making a disgusting green smear all over the place already. Dragging you back up, whether dead or alive, will be the high point of my day.” “You pathetic existence! If I could move, I would tear you apart limb from limb, eyes or no eyes.” “Empty threats, changeling. I’ve dealt with way worse than you in my day. Things that would make your carapace crawl.” “You’re free to delude yourself. Oh, the sweet creaking of poorly oiled door hinges without which no dungeon would be complete, is it interrogation room time already?” “You’re taking this rather well.” “What more do you think you can take away from me? My body doesn’t work, I am away from my Hive, my head hurts already from the lack of buzzing I’ve known my entire life-” “And the stairs, don’t forget the stairs.” “Asshole.” “I consider myself a generally good-natured pony. You, on the other hoof, are a pest that needs to be questioned and eradicated.” “I think you got the wrong idea heeeeere-? I’m flying? Oh, you’re a unicorn. That explains this magical room.” “This room is completely mundane. Are you going crazy from blood loss… well, goo loss?” “Then how can it fit both us, the table you’re putting me on -not too carefully, mind you. Your telekinetic control blows- and your ego?” “Hmph! Let’s see how your leg can fit this needle.” “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Heeeeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeee! It huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts, it buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns, it stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings, it- wait, can you scratch my back, please? The healing chitin really itches.” “You...?!” “I know pain, unicorn. I’ve survived the burning agony of being stung by Badlands scorpion and having the flesh under my chitin melt. I have practiced fighting against the Queen herself once and lived to tell the tale. Plus, I can barely feel my entire body, so screw you and your needle, hahah. I bet it’s longer than your dick.” “At my age, these kinds of jabs have no meaning. But you are correct, slightly. From what I can see, you react differently to cracked exoskeleton than a pony would to a broken bone. Oh well, it’s not like it changes anything.” “Glass? I hear glass. Waterboarding? Oh dear, oh dear, whatever shall I-" "You talk too much." "-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” “Put the acid down, Star Trail!” “-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” “Oh don’t worry, Crest. It sounds much worse than it really is.” “-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” “What did you say?” “-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” “What? I can't hear you over- wait, let me put a dampening spell on this irritating creature-” “-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-” “-There, much better. Did you need something from me, Crest?” “Don’t talk to me like nothing serious is happening! You’re torturing her!” “Just proving a point. And it’s an ‘it’, not a ‘her’. If you think about them like about ponies, you’ll get soft and end up in a cocoon with a sippy straw stuck in your ear. Anyway, how did you know?” “Puff ran over and told me about the angry changeling wanting to use herself as a Hearth’s Warming tree decorated with pony intestines. I was unsure which part of the message he got right, but speed was of the essence.” “Idiot.” “He was worried that SHE would outsmart and hurt you, Trail, and wanted the police to be present.” “-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." “Good heart, but nonetheless an idiot. Still, I am detaining an enemy of Equestria, and as a retired Paladin I retained some privileges.” “The royal order is for any caught changelings to be handed over to the police or guard force, which is us, not you.” “...” “Hey, she stopped screaming.” “Let me correct that-” “Don’t you dare!” “Let me go, you damn soft guard wannabe!” “Trail, don’t make me call for Bladehoof guarding the main door! Stop! Struggling!” “Argh! Damn it, Crest, I’ll have you quartered for conspiracy!” “Enough with the nonsense, Trail. You have no official power anymore, and if you stop trying to get away from the wall I’ll forget this ever happened, but if you keep kicking me, I’ll call Bladehoof, and then it’ll be an assault on a police officer. That wouldn’t look good on your exemplary record, would it?” “Grrrr...” “Just remove the silencing spell from her.” “There, done. Happy?” “Good. Now, changeling, what did you want to say?” “Don’t listen to it! They can charm you with just their voice if you’re not careful.” “Oh shut up, Trail. Changeling?” “Three things, ponies. One, I’m kinda bleeding out here, you know. The senile moron poured the acid on my non-stabbed leg. Two, if you, Crest, whoever you are, get me out of this mad unicorn’s place, I’ll kill you last, or maybe even give you enough of a head start to get out and survive. And three… for making the pain stop I’ll tell you a secret he wanted to burn out of me. Just promise me he won’t do it again.” “I promise, no more torture.” “Alright, here goes...” “Yeeees?” “You both can suck my ovipositor.”