B.B.T.S. Adventure #3:
Shopping With Conrad
“Let’s make it quick guys!” The dark Changeling queen, surrounded by her floating subjects, commanded the black and blue mares as they dragged multitude of gift bags along.
“Ophff! I can’t believe… that stupid Conrad… is making us drag bowling balls, bowling balls! Can you believe this?!”
“Um… yeah… sure… bowling balls….” The black mare tried to act worn-out as he toted several bags of pillows across the shopping center.
“Come now you two!” The Changeling queen squibbed on her royal checklist as she crossed off yet another present on her list. “Moshi’s Birthday is in a couple of weeks, and I certainly want to surprise her with the latest massage chair! I might even ask Teddeck to set it up for you!”
…. Hold your ponies! I’m here already! So… yeah, I um… overslept. Anyways, you might be wondering why three mares are having a shopping spree in the of-season of the whole year. Well, you see, Moshi, who is the head of the B.B.T.S., one of the most famous clan in the entire Milky Way Galaxy, is having her birthday in a couple of week. It has been an unspoken tradition for the top members of the clan to buy massive amounts of presents, and distribute them amongst the, ahem, lesser members of the clan, so that they may have a present for their favorite clan leader without having to empty out their wallets. And of course, Conrad, being the most generous Changeling Queen (And the only one, I might add) and one of the most influential leaders in the clan, have decided to bring some new recruits on her little “Present Spree”. So yeah… you see that blue pegasus heaving those bowling balls? Her name is Atrixy. She might be new, but she sure knows how to draw a fine portrait! (Hello EShredder! Looking good as always!) That black Pegasus carrying those pillows is Talyn; he’s also new, but he can definitely handle himself. (Although I can never understand what drove that pony into eating batteries.) And last, but definitely the least, those black swarms that circles around Conrad are her changeling drones; Conrad doesn’t usually abuse them, since she spends most of her day abusing the flood of new recruits that gets into our clan on a very regular basis. (Yes, we’re a THING now; deal with it.) So there you have it, an abusive changeling, 2 very antsy pegasii along with a small army worth of changeling drones have shipped themselves to a cramped, crowded shopping mall near the inner core of the galaxy; nothing can go wrong.
“Hey Conrad, can we please take a break??” Atrixy dropped her bags of bowling ball on the floor in order to raise her objection.
“Oh come now! We’re only half-way there!” Conrad pouted as she walked toward the furniture store. “I’m going to need a lot of help carrying that massage chair I’m getting for Mosh-“
With a gentle “ugh”, the mighty changeling queen bumped herself onto an imposing figure standing in front of her. She looked up only to see an imposing brown minotaur standing in her path.
“Oh. Sorry about that big guy.” The Changeling queen apologized to the Minotaur and tried walking around him, only to have the gruff Minotaur side-blocking her way.
“You! Yes you!” The Minotaur struck a few awkwardly brutish poses while he spoke to the troupe of pony shoppers. “My name is Steel Mill, and I… am the toughest, strongest, and most amazing underworld boxer this side of the quadrant!” The ponies made an awful attempt to hide their lack of interest as the Minotaur continued his awkwardly positioned poses.
“You! You with the holes on your body!” The Minotaur struck yet another lame pose, pointing his muscle-bound index finger at Conrad. “Steel Mill has heard of the high bounty on your head, and Steel Mill won’t leave this mall until Steel Mill cashes you in at the nearest underworld-bounty-redeeming station!”
Conrad instantly knew what this muscle-headed mare wanted with them. Rumors have been circulating in the clan that a mysterious group of people that calls themselves “The Syndicate” had placed a bounty on major bounty hunters and mercenaries in the system. The hefty bounties enticed criminals from around the galaxy to band together, and turned the table on bounty hunters from across the galaxy. The muscle-man performing lame feats in front of the powerful changeling queen is no doubt yet another criminal that wanted to reap the bounty atop of the queen’s head; she had successfully dispatched more than a few scums this month; however, the changeling queen had never seen someone so foolish as to intentionally throw away the element of surprise by confronting the queen and her army of powerful drones on a head on combat…alone… and without any armor. A part of her almost felt sorry for the obtuse bull in front of her; of course, she threw that part of her away a long time ago.
“Enough small talk!” The brown minotaur struck a final awkwardly positioned pose before continuing his rant once more. “Steel Mill knows of your deceptive ways, one with many holes! Steel Mill won’t wait around for your dirty little tricks! Steel Mill will pummel you right now!”
The queen almost sighed as the fool-hardy bull charged toward her. “Atrixy! Talyn! Finish this guy while I check out the sales on that massage chair!”
“Will do, can do!” The black and blue mares dropped their shopping bags, and began circling around the minotaur, out flanking his sides, and began charging towards him.
“Oh no ya don’t ya grass-munching amateurs! You’re going down!”
Just as the two pegasii are about to land their hooves on the muscle bull, two beams of light lit up on both sides of the minotaur, sending the two pegasii flinging backwards. The mad bull ran unimpeded, and Conrad could not react before the muscle-bound maniac penetrated her sides with his steel-tipped horns.
The changeling queen shrieked as she fell to the floor. The sparse crowd that roamed the mall began panicking as they ran toward any given exit. The minotaur pulled his horns out of Conrad’s body (don’t you dare take this out of context) and began pounding the injured queen with his twin meaty fists, only to be stopped by the swarms of changeling drones rushing over him. “Miserable insects!” The furious minotaur swung his arms around, punching each individual changeling drones, one at a time, in their respective eye panels. A sound wave inaudible to Minotaur rang inside the mall, causing the drones to panic and scatter throughout the building.
“Excellent! Now then… what the?” The minotaur looked below his legs, only to see the changeling queen, as well as her subordinates, vanished without a trace.
~Intermission~
“I think we’re safe now.” The blue Pegasus peered out of the counter in the store they are hiding, to see the angry minotaur tearing through the now empty mall, looking for his prey. All of the few staff and customers in the mall have evacuated, yet the three ponies could not safely retreat to their respective space crafts with the changeling queen in near-critical condition, and her drones scattered throughout the mall.
“I gave you one job, you guys… one job, and you still messed it up!” The changeling queen held her oozing wound as she yelled in the lowest of voice possible. “All you have to do is to kick that maniac straight on the side, and we would have had a much better resolution!”
“It wasn’t our fault.” Talyn tried his best to sooth the injured queen as he tended to her wounds. “The bull had friends; he had aerial support with him, and we couldn’t react to it in time.”
“Figues.” The queen tried her best to stand up without agitating her wound too much. “Ever since the Syndicate put a price on every vigilante’s heads, every criminal came with supports. I was foolish to have thought a simpleton like him would have had no back-up, and I paid the price. Atrixy, Tayln, listen to me. I will try to stop whoever it is that’s shooting from the sky; you two try your best to hold him off while I gather my minions back, and resolve this little situation; that’s an order!”
The two mares knew not to disobey a direct order from the great changeling queen herself. They nodded to each other, and snuck out from under the counter they’ve been hiding for so long.
~Intermission~
“Come out little ponies!” The minotaur furiously swung common house appliances around an electronic store in a meager attempt to drive out the ponies in hiding. “I know you are in here! Come out now and face me cowards!”
Two little mares appeared before the minotaur’s eyes as he lifted a fridge out of his way; the black and blue pegasii from their earlier encounter had returned, and they are looking for a rematch.
“Steel Mill doesn’t care about small fries like you!” He dropped the fridge he was carrying to the floor. “Steel Mill wants your leader to be present, and Steel Mill will have her head on a pike by the end of the night, whether you cooperate or not!”
With a noisy grunt, the mad minotaur charged at the ponies head on with his sharp horns. The two pegasii took to the air, and kept themselves out of the bull’s range.
“The same trick won’t work again, ya grass muchers!” A shower of bright rays began raining down onto the mall, penetrating multitudes of holes through the ceiling of the appliance store, while conveniently missing the minotaur.
“Tayln!” The Blue Pegasus shouted to his comrade. “Cover me while I take the bull out to a china shop!”
Talyn closed his eyes. Lights began to shift around him as the storm of energy beams were “bent” toward the black mare, and his body began to glow. With the energy beams drawn elsewhere, Atrixy flanked the raging bull once more, and kicked him straight on the side.
The bull landed onto the floor with a heavy “thud”. He clutched to his side as he stuck his stubby thumb to the tiny communicator to his ear. “I thought you are going to shield me! That blue guy totally out flanked me man!”
Atrixy could almost hear the audible whine coming from the minotaur’s tiny comm-link. The tiny-pitched whine yelled at the minotaur: “It’s not my fault ya milk-drinker! That black horse is absorbing energy! Well, let’s see how that grass-mucher does with missiles!”
Talyn could hear whistles of dropping projectiles coming from above. “Atrixy! You take care of the missiles, and I’ll handle the big guy!?
“Roger that good pony!” The blue Pegasus flew through one of the holes in the ceiling, and took to the air. But before he could reach the flurry of missiles coming at the mall, he was overwhelmed by a huge swarming mass.
“Go help your comrades!” The black swarm commanded. “I’ll take care of the missiles!”
“Grrrrrrr!” The minotaur growled at the glowing black mare. “You ponies have done it now! Steel Mill will make mincemeat out of you! Steel Mill will make you regret the day you crossed paths with Steel Mill!”
“Not gonna happen pal!” Tayln’s bodily glow began shifting and focusing onto his hooves. “Not only can I absorb any energy sources given to me, I can redirect them, and use it as an energy blast!”
Talyn lifted his hooves toward the Minotaur, and discharged his beam of energy stored in his hand right at the confused bull. The power of 50 energy beams impacted the bull at once, and the sheer force of the blast propelled the bull backward, slamming him into a cluster of housing appliances.
“You stupid little brat!” The enraged minotaur pointed his stubby fingers at his communicator. “You were supposed to back me up, and now I’m getting blasted left and right by a skinny little squirt! Get me my support now, or Steel Mill go go up to your stingy little spacecraft, and tear a new vent in it!”
In the space orbit high above the mega shopping mall, a medium-sized assault craft circled silently around the planetary orbit. A tiny mice inside the space craft clicked on his keyboard at a frantic speed, as his com link was being bombarded by a multitude of complaints from a very angry minotaur.
“Calm down ya sausage-head!” The mice worked around his controls as he tried his best to calm his partner down. “I’m sending those missles down at ya so keep ya pants on!” He punched a few more inputs into his computer screen, and booted up yet another program. “Let’s see how these ponies deal with heat stress… I’m sending in the napalms… what the-“
The mice was knocked off from his seat of control as a multitudes of heavy explosions bombarded his ship.
Changelings, riding the very missiles that he sent down to the planetary surface, have infiltrated his outer-space lair with the weapons he designed. The rat rose up from the floor, only to see the heavily injured Changeling queen staring back.
“So, having fun with aerial support are we now?” The changeling queen’s stare had never been more intimidating. “mind if I beat thy to a pulp?”
“You know, I’m no fighter, but I’m pretty sure you can’t do anything to me with that huge injury you have! You might as well give up now ya stinking changeling scum!”
“Oh, no. I won’t be the one doing the beating up around here.” The queen advanced toward the poor mice as drones of changelings literally crawled out of the woodworks. “Why lift a single piece of my hoof when my drone shall be more than a match for a cretin like you?”
Without a constant stream of support from the sky, the minotaur isn’t faring too well against the onslaught of attacks coming from two very capable B.B.T.S. recruits. Though there are no energy to be gained, Talyn and Atrixy had little problem maneuvering over the clumsy oaf, and strike him at his soft spots. He placed his finger on top of his tiny comm-link once more, and began demanding for help from above. “Listen up you little mice! Steel Mill is having a tough time handling things without air support! I’m going to give you 10 seconds; I better see something dropping out of the sky, or Steel Mill is going to have a chat with you when Steel Mill comes back to the ship empty handed! That’s and order and don’t you forget it!”
Almost soon as he turned off his comm-link, the enraged bovine could hear whistling sounds coming from above. “Ah! Here comes the air support! Steel Mill knew shouting at thigns usually fixes it, I… what?”
The minotaur watched in disbelief as his entire assault craft is falling toward him at terminal velocity. The black changeling queen, along with her drones holding up the unconscious mice, shouted at the mares down below.
“Hey! New guys! You better get a move on, because I’m about to take the whole mall down!”
The bull was dumbfounded as he tried to figure out the situation that had just transpired. Atrixy and Talyn flapped their wings as fast as they can as they propelled themselves away from the mega-mall.
“Alright boys!” The black queen leapt from the doomed craft as she commanded his subjects. “Here comes my patented final move: Meteor Strike!”
The fleeing pegasii could literally feel time and space distorting itself as the entire shopping center was torn away by the sheer force of the explosion. The resulting super-nove like explosion expanded to critical mass, and disappeared just as quickly as it started. It wasn’t until after a while that the blue mare commented:
“Wow. I’ve heard about Conrad getting violent when she’s on her shopping binge, but holy buck dude… holy buck!”
Achievement Unlocked: Here’s Your Bucking Aerial Support
Dear Clan Leader Moshi:
Today me and Talyn accompanied lieutenant Conrad on her shopping adventure, and I met more interesting characters than I could have shaken a stick at. We had also taken the opportunity to apprehend Steel Mill and Rat Face, two underworld criminals of some renown. Conrad was injured in the fight, but se stuck through it to the end like a… dare I say it? Like a BOSS. If I had learned anything today, it is to never mess with Conrad; she will punch you in the face even if she had to ride a missile into outer space to get to you.
Sincerely,
Atrixy
PS: I will never shop with her again, not *just* because she blew up the entire mall this time, but because she had done that for the past 8 years in a row.