Star Wars: The Snuggle Protocol

by Barrobroadcaster


Chapter 6: The Message

The pink TIE turned with speed and precision that didn't seem possible. It came back down on the dual formation of fighters and blasted the wings off an X-Wing and a B-Wing in a single pass.

"Gaaah, I'm hit!!"

"Sonders!"

"I've lost my port engine!" Sonders' B-Wing spun out of control. There was nothing they could do for him; any attempt to try and save him would make them a target for the new TIE. But apparently, they weren't its target.

"Where is he?! Where is he?!" Reena yelled.

"I can't see him!"

"Wait, he's bearing mark seven-five-five!" The TIE ignored the X-Wings and B-Wings and flew right past them.

Reena's eyes went wide. "The transports! He's going after the-"

Twin glints of light deployed from the TIE's concealed weapons bays. The glints erupted into silver trails and streaked towards the transports. One hit the stern the bulky ships, the other hit the first transport square in the center. For a split second, all seemed to go silent, even in space, as the missiles impacted their targets. The transports then exploded into massive blue discs that cut through everything in massive swathes around them. The blue discs cut through both of the Imperial cruisers flanking them, bisecting each. The transports, the cruisers, all four Imperial ships exploded into bursts of flaming fuel and debris as the two blue waves dissipated. In seconds, all that was left of the convoy was an expanding cloud of burned dust.

"Holy shit..."

"Seismic torpedoes! That TIE has seismic torpedoes!" Red Leader yelled.

Reena's mind raced. A ship like that could destroy the whole squadron, more than the whole squadron. But it hadn't gone after them- it had gone after the transports. And there was still one left.

"Let's get outta here!"

"No!" she ordered, "The last transport! We have to protect it! Whatever's in there's so important it went after it first! Form on my wing, everyone! We're taking this guy out!"

"Copy, Bold Leader!"

"On your wing, Bold Leader!"

The remaining nine X-Wings of Red Squadron and the ten B-Wings of Bold Squadron assembled in a single formation. The enemy TIE was already banking around, coming right at them. "All wings, open fire!"

Just as she said that, the TIE fired another pair of missiles at the formation. The laser barrage from the combined squadrons ripped the missiles to shreds before they could even arm, but the TIE was too nimble. It dodged the laser cannons in side-to-side rolls. Reena was focused on it, tracking with her lasers, holding down the trigger of her guns, hoping to see her shots turn the TIE into a ball of vapor. Instead, she saw it coming right for her.

"Oh, FUUUUUU-" She pulled up just as she saw the green of its lasers illuminate the space between them. The bolts ripped into her fuselage where the engine compartment connected with the lower wing. There was an explosion underneath her that shook through the craft violently, nearly knocking her into the view shield above her. Her cockpit lit up with red with the instrument panel's condition lights, warning alarms blaring.

"Bold Leader!!"

"Reena! Reena, are you all right?!"

She fought to pull her controls upward. It felt like trying to get a bantha to turn over by prying it up with a stick. But, she was able to regain control of her ship again, and made a quick check of her systems. Online, barely, something she was thankful for. "I'm okay, I'm okay! Where is this assho-?!"

"BEHIND YOU!!"

She didn't think- she juked. A burst of green flashed right through the space she'd just been in. B-Wings weren't easy to pilot at the best of times if you were the best of pilots, which Reena was. With the damage, the throttle felt like it was embedded in a block of ice, but still she pushed it, yanking the controls back and fourth with all her might. Her brain raced, trying to mimic the pattern she'd seen the TIE execute in the hopes that it might somehow save her life. She overshot the roll just a bit and her craft began to tumble. "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU!!!" She spun out of control. In seconds, she and her ship would be nothing but free-floating particles in space.

Red-orange lasers flashed past her, just barely missing her. But that wasn't what surprised her about them; no, what surprised her was where the direction they were coming from. The lasers came from the front.

"FUCK YOU, MAGENTA-DICK!"

"What?!"

"HYYAAAAAAHHH!!" Grex shouted through the squad comms. His lasers ripped through the new pink TIE, blasting through its hull. The ship's engines exploded, shearing off the back ends of the heart-shaped wings and sending the front end tumbling through space. "Ha HA! That's what you get for messing with Bold Squadron!!"

"Grex!" Reena shouted, relieved. "You son-of-a-bitch, Grex, you finally got your B-Wing working?"

"Yeah, I found out how to get the landing gear working," he said. And that's when Reena saw him in his ship, Grex's favorite ship. The starfighter he belonged in. "Went back to base and swapped it out for my Y-Wing. Sorry it took me so long- the techs wouldn't let me leave unless I had the Doritos logos printed on the hull!" He flew by her, his ship sporting fresh red paint and Doritos decals on the nacelle domes.

"Hahaha," Reena couldn't help herself from laughing. "Never been happier to see an advertisement for corn chips."

"Hahaha, yeah, I know. So, where's Avin?"

"Do I have to answer?"

"Oh, there you are, "buddy." So, what's that you said about my Clone Wars POS?"

"Keep him away from me!"

"There you are! Come here, let's see which ion cannons are more effective!"

"HELP! Someone get him off my back!"

Both squadrons laughed as Grex in his Y-Wing chased Avin in his B-Wing, a happy sight for all of them after a tough mission. They recovered Sonders and the disabled X-Wing pilots and waited for the Rebel transport to arrive. The transport, a GR-75, showed up shortly afterward, a welcome sight for all of them. They were happy there were no additional surprises for them.

"Wow... an actual Star Destroyer. What do you think command's going to say when we show up with this?"

"They're gonna ask what you were doing while we are capturing it!" Brullen said to Grex, causing an outburst of laughter from both squadrons.

"HEY! I wouldn't have had to go back and change ships if I'd just been allowed to fly my Y-Wing in the first place!"

"Or if you knew how to fly anything else worth a crap."

"You want some too, Brullen? I'll zap all your asses if I have to!"

"Oh gawd, keep him away!"

"Heh, have fun, boys. You've earned it," Reena said. "I don't know what Command will say when they see this, but I plan on putting all of you up for a medal because of this."

"Woo-hoo!"

"Sounds good to me, Captain!" They all celebrated the news. It made her feel good to know she could give them at least something for all their hard work.

"I know one thing for sure," Avin said, "There's no possible way they could hate us after this!"


Imperial Headlines:
Rebel Terrorists Attack Helpless Kitten Convoy!
Innocents Ambushed in Heinous Rebel Attack: Imperial Aid to Kittens Destroyed!
Malevolent Rebel Pilots Murder Innocent Kittens in Space over Equestria!
Talk Show Host Fired due to Accusations of Incompetence!
Emperor Palpatine Releases Sixteen New Ways to Please Your Man!


The next day
Canterlot

If Ponyville hadn't changed much since making contact with the rest of the galaxy, then Canterlot had changed even less. It was still full of the same upper class and wealthy ponies, those connected to the royal family or something else, that it always had. The streets were the same cobblestone walkways that Twilight had grown up walking, the same ivory-white white buildings and ornate architecture lined every street. Just now, there were stormtroopers among them. And the stormtroopers were giving out ice cream.

"Fresh ice cream! Perfect for a hot day!"

"Absolutely free! Come get your Impirice cream now!"

Ponies lined up around the block. The stormtroopers handed out free balloons, free flowers, even free iPhones and Androids. Android phones, not actual androids.

"Seems like everypony 'round here's happy with the Empire," Applejack remarked. "Them snowmen guys sure like giving out free stuff."

Rainbow Dash hovered in front of the group as they walked, her forelegs folded cutely against her chest. "They didn't have to go messing with Cloudsdale. Or imposing a curfew."

Fluttershy, the other pegasus was in agreement with her. "The animals are still frightened of them. I don't know if we should trust them."

Pinkie Pie, however, seemed to see things differently. She carried a stack of trays full of ice cream and free food, balloons tied to her tail and saddle bags full of phones. "Did you guys check out the 501st?! They're giving out free iPads!! I GOT TWO!!" she exclaimed, holding up one somehow with her free hoof. It was jet-black and had an Imperial Stormtrooper helmet on the back inside the insignia of the Empire. "You want one?"

Twilight gently nudged it out of her face. "Thanks Pinkie, but you might not want to get too attached to all that stuff. It still might be evil."

The pink pony, however, was already gleefully indulging in several of her ice cream cones at once. "The what might be what now?"

"Well, at least you're enjoying yourself," Rarity said, smiling. It seemed the Empire's arrival had divided the Mane Six as well: the Earth ponies were embracing them, the pegasi were staunchly opposed to them, and unicorns were somewhere in the middle.

"We'll find out more soon enough," Twilight resolved. "Whatever the Empire is up to, we'll uncover the truth soon enough. Who knows? Maybe they actually are trying to benefit Equestria," she said.

"If you say so, darling. We're right behind you, as always."

They continued down Canterlot's main street, Canter Way. It was an ancient street by pony standards, a road that over time, branched out to form the streets that lead to the rest of the city. It might have been by design or by convenience, but all roads in the city, and in Equestria, connected to Canter Way. And Canter Way led to Canterlot. Just as with Ancient Rome on Earth, all roads led to Canterlot in Equestria. Pinkie had a chance to finish her ice cream as they walked.

A pair of stormtroopers walked towards them from the gates of the castle courtyard.

"Hi there, citizens!"

"Hi, stormtrooper!" Pinkie exclaimed. She ran up to the trooper and hugged him. It made them all a bit uneasy at first, some of them expecting the trooper to lash out violently. But the white-armored biped simply returned the hug.

"Aww, there's nothing like a hug to make a bright day even brighter," the trooper said.

Pinkie giggled. "You bet!" She cuddled up to the stormtrooper's white armor, his gauntlet brushed through her mane and she giggled again.

"Would anypony else like a vertical physical affection embrace?" the other asked.

"Vertical what-now?" AJ asked.

"Haha, that's the technical term for a hug, citizen!" the trooper answered. "As part of the Empire's new Spread the Love Initiative, we're here to share a message of love and tolerance!"

"Love and tolerance?" Twilight repeated. For some reason, those words, those concepts, resonated deep within her. Ever since the raid, she had suspected that they might have been wrong. Now, she was beginning to think that was the case.

AJ and Pinkie both hugged the troopers. Pinkie's ice cream-mouth smudged on the trooper's armor, but it didn't look like he minded.

"Take care, citizen!"

"Remember- the Empire loves you!" they both said, and walked away. They headed down the street and it wasn't long before the two stormtroopers stopped and hugged another pony, even helped him load his wagon. Twilight and her friends watched them for several long moments.

"They lie about stuff, they push us around, and then they act... nice?" Rainbow Dash said. "I don't get it. Are they trying to impress us or something?"

"Maybe they are," Twilight said. She didn't have any other answer. She didn't even have a strong theory. She led the rest of her friends back on the same road to Canterlot up to the castle, hoping to find some semblance of clarity along it.

A few Imperials were even in Canterlot Castle. Dignitaries, ambassadors, consuls, gentries and the like all admired various things about the castle and the courtyard. Pony guides and even some of the Royal Guards mingled and interacted with them, sharing their cultures among one another. They laughed, they joked, they had a good time. It seemed hard to believe that these could be the same people the Rebel Alliance had shown had destroyed an entire planet, enslaved entire populations and oppressed countless beings. Could they have been talking about a different Empire?

But then, why did the Empire lie about it? Why had they pushed the pegasi around, forced Cloudsdale out of the way for their huge ship to hover over Ponyville? And where had that Star Destroyer gone? There were too many questions and not enough answers. Twilight did her best to keep track of all of her questions as she and her friends entered the throne room.

Princess Celestia sat on her throne, her aides at her side. Quills and scrolls levitated before her but something else was along with it: a datapad, a device like the iPad but with more of a focus on storage and processing than connection and recreation. She was recording information from the scrolls into her datapad.

"Um, excuse me?" Twilight asked. "Princess?"

The princess didn't look up to acknowledge her. "Ah... Twilight Sparkle. My student," she said, almost stoically. "And your friends. How are you?"

"We're um... fine," Twilight said. "How are you?"

"I am fine," Celestia responded. "How goes our operations with the Rebel Alliance?"

They all looked shocked by the question. "Uh, you really think it's a good idea to say that... out loud?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah, yer majesty, I don't think that's something we need to go advertisin', all due respect."

"It's fine," she assured them. She finally looked away from her scrolls at them all and smiled. "I wouldn't be speaking freely here if I wasn't sure it would be safe."

"Oh. Well, that's good," Pinkie said.

"Okay..." Twilight said. "Our operations are... proceeding. We're a bit unsettled by the way the enemy's reacting."

She ignored her last comment. "You destroyed the factory?"

"Yes..." Twilight admitted. "The Rebels did. But afterwards-"

"Good," Celestia cut her off. "Princess Luna has updated me they conducted another operation just yesterday. At the rate things are going, the Empire should realize Equestria is not worth the effort soon and leave. You're to continue working with the Rebels until that's accomplished," she decreed, returning to her work.

"Um, your majesty?"

"The sooner you get started, the sooner we'll be rid of their influence."

"Excuse me," Twilight said, finding her courage. Celestia finally set down her scrolls, her quills, the datapad and gave Twilight her undivided attention. "Your highness, I don't think this is the best way to deal with the Empire."

Coming from any other pony, it might have been considered an act of insubordination. Twilight, however, being Celestia's most faithful student, was almost always able to offer her humble opinion to her mentor. But, it was clear, this may not have been one of the times it was accepted.

The objects around the princess levitated away, each floating upward to an assigned place on its own vector. Celestia stepped down from her throne and approached Twilight and her friends. They all did their best not to back away from her. "My most faithful student Twilight," she began. "What is troubling you?" she asked in a soft voice.

Twilight did her best to compose herself. "Uh-um, well..."

"Is this about the propaganda, Twilight?" Celestia asked. The tall princess shook her head gently, causing her other-worldly mane to wave from side to side. "My student, my friends, we must not trouble ourselves just because we didn't get the response we were expecting," she said to them all. "Keep to the plan and we will prevail."

"I... I think..."

"It will be fine, Twilight."

"I think we need to rethink things," Twilight forced herself to say. Behind her, her friends were struck silent. "I think it's possible that the Empire might actually be doing things that are... beneficial."

Celestia paused for a moment. She seemed to almost look through Twilight, the kind of expression a bird would have when looking at a windmill, or how a cow would stare at an oncoming train. And she said, "No, they're not."

"What?"

"The Empire is evil, Twilight. That's what they are. It's just that simple," Celestia replied softly.

"What if they're not?" Twilight asked. "What if they're trying to turn over a new leaf, to change and do some good in the galaxy?"

"They're not," Celestia said.

"But-"

Celestia hugged Twilight abruptly, cutting her off. Twilight was reluctant to hug back, but then fully embraced the embrace. She felt her concerns melt away, for a moment it was even scary as the warmth of the hug entered her mind. It soothed her, making her almost feel like a filly again. Celestia had always been something of a mother to her, not unlike her own mother. But she wasn't her mother. She was her teacher, her mentor and her friend. No matter what position she held, she could always talk to her and voice her opinion. Couldn't she?

Twilight held onto the larger princess, resting her head on her neck as Celestia did the same. They both closed their eyes... and somehow, Celestia's thoughts became Twilight's. The purple unicorn felt her opinion dissipate, her own views suppressed with every inhale of Celestia's ethereal mane. It smelled refreshing, calming almost like...

Soap. Twilight's heart began to race. Something was happening. Something wrong, and she knew it. What had she been talking about? What had she come here to do? Why was she here? Her mind was full of pinkish mist, cluttered with aimless love and affection, love without a bond, love without a purpose. Fake. False. Empty fluff and smiles. It filled her head, and she found herself struggling to find her own thoughts, like being trapped in a web of incredibly sweet lies, so sweet they stuck to her and clung to her body and mane. She couldn't move.

Frantically, she searched, desperately trying to connect her thoughts among the clutter. She found them, thankfully still there, underneath the web but shining through it. It was with the concern she felt, her own beliefs and ideals at her core, linked to her friends. She remembered where those beliefs came from, from her friends at her side, and was able to get through. Twilight kept it hidden though, and did not break from the hug.

Finally, Celestia released her. "Go now, my student. Save the kingdom. Save the dream." She turned and went back to her throne.

Twilight bowed. "We will, your majesty. Farewell." She and her friends left, not speaking a word until they had left the castle grounds entirely. Even as they returned to the streets of Canterlot, they didn't feel comfortable discussing their encounter with the princess. Who knew who might be listening in?

"Can we get some more ice cream while we're here?" Pinkie asked.

"We have ice cream back at the library, Pinkie," Twilight said.

"Awwww but not Imperice cream!"

"Let's just get going there, don't need anypony makin' a scene," Applejack said. She and the rest of Twilight's friends dragged her back to the train station, dragged her on and off the platform and onto the train, and finally dragged her through Ponyville back to the Golden Oakes Library. The Imperial Star Destroyer was no longer overhead, and neither were the TIE Strikers or any other Imperial craft. There were still stormtroopers and Imperial droids patrolling the streets, but it seemed like their ships were gone.

Finally, within the sanctuary of her own library home, Twilight felt safe to speak. "There's something wrong with the princess."

"Yeah, she definitely didn't seem like herself," Rainbow said.

"And WHERE have you guys been?!" A voice demanded. "Have fun on your trip to the capitol?" Dan, Twilight's human friend and guest asked.

"Hey Dan," Twilight said, followed by all of them in the same greeting. The pale-skinned human wore a black shirt with the word JERK emblazoned on the front, a proud statement of both fact and irony. He was well-known for his aggressive and assertive nature, something that was actually very welcoming right now.

"Any visitors while we were gone?" Twilight asked.

"Had a couple salesmen I told to take a hike," Dan replied. "We also got a package from the Ponyville Laboratory or whatever. It's on the couch."

"Thanks Dan," Twilight said. "I knew the library would be safe with you here."

"Yeah," the human replied in a disgruntled tone. He returned to the couch and sat down, reading a newspaper. "This place could use a security system if you really want to improve things."

"I'll keep that in mind," Twilight said.

She and her friends took it up to her room and opened it privately. "It's the results of the soap I sent in to get tested, the one we recovered from the factory!"

"What does it say, Twilight?" Rarity asked.

"Does it give any reason as to why the princess is acting... strangely?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight's eyes went wide. "The soap... it's from the Crystal Empire!"

"The Crystal Empire?!" they all exclaimed.

She looked over the report. "I was right. The soap, it's magical somehow. We have to get this information to the Rebels."

"Uh, Twilight?" Spike's voice came from downstairs. "We have more visitors!" Frantically, Twilight and friends tried to copy the message. But it was already too late.

A pair of stormtroopers barged through the door of Twilight's room. "Hi there, citizens!" Unlike before, the troopers had guns. "I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with us."

"Owlowiscious!" Twilight called. She raised up the note. Her faithful pet owl flew down from his perch and snatched it. "Take this to Reena! Go!"

"Is that an owl? He's adorable!" The stormtrooper said. Strangely, the stormtrooper didn't try to fire at them. Owlowiscious burst flew out of the high window, carrying the message tightly in his talons. He flew to the Everfree Forest, towards Sigma Base.