The Word Became Ponified

by ArthemistheSwordsman


A Mysterious Present

Morning. The sun sent a shimmering beam through the library’s upper window, permeating the darkness with its glow. As the light spread on the sleeping face of Twilight Sparkle, her eyes cringed and opened into the new daylight. She promptly rose out of her bed, stretched her rested limbs and back, and proceeded towards her mirror. The fragrance of hay pancakes emanated from downstairs as she brushed her bed-head into her signature hairstyle.

“Good Morning, Twilight!” Spike stated, having heard the hoof-steps of Twilight walking downstairs. “Breakfast is almost done. Made it nice and early, so you can get right to work on that project with Rainbow Dash.”

“Thanks, Spike. You and I both know how much Rainbow wants things done on time,” Twilight replied. She then levitated her schedule for the week towards herself, and checked it to remind herself of the details of her project.

Earlier that week, Rainbow Dash had an idea that developed into the planned project. She wondered, exactly how high could a Pegasus go off of initial diving velocity; that is, with no wing support whatsoever. This caused her to plan an ideal jump location and course, where she would dive, accelerate, and then pull up. Twilight was supposed to measure the distances and acceleration rates, and thus formulate the formula that would solve Rainbow’s wondering. Twilight had lent her a few books regarding dive positions and techniques, which she took home begrudgingly. It was apparent to both Twilight and Rainbow that she wouldn’t study them, but neither said anything regarding this cumulative thought.

Twilight put her schedule away and shifted her attention to her breakfast. As she began to eat, she struck up a pleasant conversation with Spike.

“Do you have any particular plans for today, Spike?” she inquired before taking a bite of pancake.

“Me? Nah.” Spike shrugged. “I’ll probably just work on my present for Rarity.”

“Oh! Speaking of, how have you been doing with that?” Twilight asked. Spike had been working on a sculpture of Rarity made of clay. He had spent weeks sculpting it just right, trying to get an absolutely perfect effigy of his beloved unicorn. Twilight assisted his endeavor by providing proper sculpting materials, along with how-to books for beginning sculptors. His goal was to present it to Rarity for her birthday.

“It’s, uh, coming along decently,” he stammered, “I mean, It’s better than before. But I still can’t get the head right. And the hooves are out of proportion. I just hope I get it right in time, the last thing I wanna do is give Rarity a disfigured blob saying that it’s her…”

“Well, I think you’ll get it right eventually. Just keep working at it.” She said, then added with a giggle, “Besides, it’s really sweet and she’ll appreciate the effort and thought put into it, no matter what it looks like.”

“Really? You think so?” He said, his face lighting up.

“Definitely.” She finished the last bite of pancake, wiped her face with her napkin, and put the dish into the sink. “Well, I better head out if I want to be on time. Let me get my…”

“Your anemometer and measuring tape?” Spike interrupted. “I already put them over by the door, along with your book on aero-velocity equations.”

“Always one step ahead, huh, Spike?” Twilight smiled. She then put the materials in her saddlebag, put her saddlebag on, and opened the door. Or, at least tried to. For some reason, the door didn’t open as easily as usual.

“Huh? What’s this?” Twilight wondered aloud as she forced the door open. The door blocker was then discovered.

There was a box, about a cubic foot, set in front of the door. It was made of wood, and looked as if it had been smacked repeatedly with a pipe or thrown down a hill. It was bruised and battered intensely, with chipped edges and several dents. It had a scroll attached, rolled up very sloppily and barely sealed, as if written in a dire hurry. Twilight unfurled the note and began to read. This was difficult, as the writing was just as sloppy as the note and the box.

“To the receiver of this package: I leave my most prized possession in your care. I hope and pray that you will use the contents of this box as they properly should be. You may never find out where this came from, what it means, or why it is even here, but be sure of this one fact and this one fact alone; HE loves you, and HE did what HE did for everyone. Including you.”

Everything about this note perplexed Twilight. Who the heck was ‘HE’ and what did ‘HE’ do? Why does ‘HE’ love her, but did what ‘HE’ did for everyone? What did the note writer, who may be the ‘HE’ himself, leave in this box, and why is it so valuable? And most importantly, why did someone leave such an important package in the care of her, when she didn’t know who sent it or why? She pondered these as she examined the box further. What really struck out to her was the box’s lid. It was lined with gold designs and had a golden handle, and appeared to open out like a little door. The handle was a surprising contrast with the hinges, which were a bland, dark iron color.

“Hey Spike, did the mail mare come early today?” Twilight called as she put her saddlebag down, levitated the box inside, and shut the door.

“No. What’s the box for, Twilight? It looks like it’s been thrown into a tornado!” Spike declared, examining the cracked crate.

Twilight placed it on the center library table. Both she and Spike stared at the dork brown cube for a few moments. It’s aura of mystery had paralyzed them. It seemed to fill the air of the library with an ominous atmosphere.

“Well, shall we open it?” Spike asked, his claw grabbing the bruised golden handle.

“Wait!” Twilight shouted, blocking Spike’s claw with one swift hoof motion. “The note said this was the sender’s most prized possession! Shouldn’t we be more careful?”

“Good point.” Spike nodded, and drew his claw back towards his side. Twilight then began to open the crate slowly with her magic. It opened with a squeaky creak, as if its metal hinges hadn’t rotated in years. The top moved upwards and a cloud of dust and dirt poofed out from the innards. When the cloud vanished, the contents became clear; it was a lone, dusty, book.

“A book? His most prized possession, of severe importance, is a book?!” Twilight declared angrily. She levitated the book out, and was frustrated even more. The cover was positively covered in filth, and nothing was legible. She could not make out a word of the front or spine.

“Let me see it for a sec.” Spike said after he ran to the kitchen to get a rag. He then took the book and gave it a thorough dusting.

The book was a light-brown color, and had strange markings imprinted on the cover and spine. The spine markings were in fake, plastic silver, and the cover was in a similar golden tone. Twilight levitated the now clean book in front of both herself and her dragon. Neither of them understood the title. They had never seen this book, or even heard of it, or anything with a similar title. It was a complete mystery. After an awkward silence of looking the cover over, Twilight read it out loud.


“Holy Bible.”


Her words pierced the ominous essence of the room like a surgical scalpel through paper. The sound of the title alone seemed potent.

“What does that even mean, Twilight?” Spike asked, with a hint of nervous fear in his voice. “Is it even in our language?”

Twilight flipped to several random pages. “Yes, it seems so,” she answered, “but I don’t know what it is. I can’t figure out whether it’s novel, knowledge base, or reference. I can’t tell if it’s fiction or nonfiction. I can’t even find out who the characters are!” Twilight was considerably confused. As she flipped through pages, the stories got more and more incoherent and random. One page had a creature addressing a crowd about flowers, and another had laws for preparing food (meat, she noticed, which made her shudder a bit).

Twilight closed the book and sighed heavily. “Maybe the mail got mixed up again. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t supposed to come to me. But still, the letter said it was important, so I might as well hold onto it until I figure out whose it is. But I can figure that out later, I think I’m late for the project with Rainbow.” She put the Bible in her saddlebag, grabbed said saddlebag, and proceeded out the door.

“Wait!” Spike called out. “What am I supposed to do with this crate?”

“I don’t know, put it under a table or in a shelf in the attic somewhere!” Twilight replied, and then shut the door. On her walk, she hoped this whole Bible ordeal didn’t take too much time; she hated being tardy more than anything.

As she walked, her mind kept racing about this mysterious book. She didn’t have any clues on who ‘HE’ is, and the value and purpose of the book was still unknown. What did the sender mean by ‘use the contents properly’ when it’s a weird book?

Well, if it’s purpose was to drive me insane with questions, it’s doing a very good job, she thought. She must have been walking faster than usual, because she shocked herself when she realized she was at her planned destination. Rainbow Dash was waiting there, tapping her hoof impatiently.

“’Bout time you showed up, Twi!” Rainbow shouted and waved as Twilight arrived. “I can only stay 100% ready-to-go for so long, you know!”