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// The Faintastic Filly 
// Story: Will Ye No Come Back Again? 
// by Judge Holden 
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"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep."
-Robert Frost




Fainting this much can't be normal. Even here.
"Same thing happened a day or two ago. I just stopped to say something to her and she dropped like... like..."
"You into my library?"
I heard an uneasy chuckle. "Yeah, that."
"Why would you leave her unattended after you found her anyway, Dash?"
I could practically feel her rub her arm uneasily. "Yeah, not my brightest idea. B-but you did it, too!"
"She's stirring," said a new voice. My head throbbed.
"Goodness, but her mane is a mess, isn't it?" the new voice continued.
"Rarity, could you not?"
"I'm only saying. It'll take two bottles of conditioner and some tough discipline to make it manageable again."
"Rarity?" I mumbled. The new voice let out an "Eep!" and I opened my eyes. The light was dim, and another new unicorn was standing over me. She was the only one in my field of view, though. At the time, I was still so sluggish that I only noticed a few things about her: her pristine white fur and a purple mane.
"You're not Rarity," I mumbled, half groggy. She blinked, and smiled kindly at me. "Is that any way to thank your benefactor the last few days, darling?"
My eyes widened, and I hesitantly got to my feet. Dash came to my side to support me in case I went down again.
"You?" I asked. She nodded with a smile. 
"You were the one I owe my thanks to?" I asked.
"Well, I wouldn't say you have to thank me. I was only doing what my parents would have done, and-"
I cut her off by doing something I hadn't done properly since the day I left for basic training- I hugged someone, and that someone was this new horse. 
"Oh, my!"
"Thank you," I said softly. "Your care gave me strength to survive these past few days. I could have gotten sick had you not brought me what you brought me."
I felt her bring her arms around me too, albeit a tad uneasily.
"Now, now. I also didn't come to you personally to help, and I could have brought attention to your situation sooner. But we simply must do something about that mane of yours. Once we figure out what to do with you I will have to get you in touch with a stylist. Consider it a gift."
I smiled gently at her; my first real smile since morning.
"I need to return the favor myself. I don't leave debts unpaid."
"If you insist, perhaps every now and again you can help me at the Botique. If you go to Honorhall, I'm sure they will let you come help little old me out."
I tilted my head. "Botique?"
"Carousel Botique. Oh, you simply must stop by!"
I looked to the others. Rarity shot them a nervous grin.
"Oh, right. Of course, we must first figure out where it is you stand." 
She cleared her throat, and I was brought to the table I was sitting at earlier. The glass of milk was set aside and two seperate paper packets lay before me. I was left a quill and some ink.
Shit.
"The one on the left certifies that you're a ward of the crown, and will be sent to Honorhall," said Twilight. "All you have to do is sign at the line on the bottom."
This is unbelievable. I would have to be there until I turned twenty five? Granted, I've so far done a ton of crying, sulking, and fainting for someone my age, but...
Wow. I actually had no excuse. Yeah, I could blame the body, but I'm currently using it. I'd end up going wherever it went, right? If my previous issues were any indication, I sure wasn't maturing mentally very fast in this body.

"The one on the right," Twilight continued. "Grants custody of you to Pinkie Pie, since she pulled the short straw- err, she is the one you know best, I mean."
I stole a glance at the Pink Menace, who I saw was holding out a short length of straw with a proud grin. Something told me she didn't understand how that particular game worked. I could see Twilight Sparkle hold a hoof to her face.

"Err, you know how to write, don't you?"
I shook my head. "Not like this."
"Uh oh. You're a bit too old for one of us to sponsor you. Okay, umm... do you know how to use your magic? It'll save us from having to go fetch different forms."
"Magic?" I echoed. She smiled at first, thinking I was kidding.
That didn't last.
"You don't know magic?" she asked a tad forcefully. I shrunk back in my seat a bit.
"Twilight, please calm yourself," said the yellow pink one. I still did not know her name. Twilight took a breath, and sipped the cup of milk she originally meant for me. She then realized what she did and frowned at me.
"I'm sorry. It's just... all unicorns know at least basic magic by the time they learn to talk."
I crossed my arms like a child refusing her- his greens. "Guess I am an exception."

I should probably mention that ever since I sat Pinkie was staring right into my soul. If I turned my head to one side I risked accidentally kissing her. There is no such thing as personal space as far as Pinkie Pie is concerned.
Twilight gently nudged Pinkie away to my relief and sat down closer to me. "Shut your eyes and clear your mind. Take a deep breath."
I blinked, but did as was asked. It wasn't easy to clear my thoughts at the moment, though the horses gave me my time.  After several minutes, however, I felt something happen; as if a walled off portion of my mind had just been broken down. As it happened, Twilight Sparkle seemed to notice.
"You've unlocked your magic. Now, picture the quill, but not the ink it is resting in. Nothing else exists. It's just the quill."
"Just the quill," I parroted. I could feel Twilight nod. 
"Now you yourself have come into existence. It is just you and the quill."
"Just me and the quill."
"Imagine every bit of it. Feel the bite of its sharp edge; the tickle of the feather itself. Nothing else matters."
"Wait, what about-"
"Pinkie, quiet. Now, imagine you are grasping it with your very sense of self. You've become the quill, and it bends to your command."
I nodded. "I feel it."
"Good. It will listen to your commands. Command it to float."

I heard Pinkie squeal, but my concentration wasn't breaking. I was in a total trance.
"Very good. Open your eyes, Sammy."
I did as she told me once more to see the quill floating above the ink. Its tip was still wet.
"Send it to the paper that you've chosen, and command that it write your name."
Now came a choice that was not really a choice. Did I want to go to an orphanage or did I want to stay with Pinkie? Turd sandwich or turd sandwich with mustard?
My eyes wandered over each paper countless times but the quill waited patiently in the air. The ink blotted at its tip didn't even move or dry.
"Take all the time you need."
Let's see... did I want to be guaranteed a bed and three meals a day among other orphans? Or did I want to put up with the Pink Menace on a daily basis? I looked around the room, searching for a way out of this whole mess. They seemed to anticipate that, because Dash was standing in front of one door and Applejack was in front of another. If I tried to go backward I just knew Pinkie was going to be the one I crashed right into.
I heaved a sigh, and looked between my options again. I got no further than the first few lines on each. I've always hated paperwork.
I squeezed my eyes shut once more, and sent the quill forth.
I signed my name Sammy Stone.
On the adoption form.
End of Chapter